Deceit: A Beauty and the Beast Novel (4 page)

Ila poured water over me, and Aryana gave a
small smile as she picked up the soap.

“Why do you question him?” she asked.

I laughed.

“Why does anyone question? To learn. All my
life I have lived under the roof of a man I knew and understood.
Now I find myself guessing and stumbling around in the dark. It’s
uncomfortable not being able to anticipate the direction of his
thoughts. I’ve spent the last several days focused on his library.
It’s a lovely, large room filled with so many books. When I’d
started, it had been a mess. Does he think I restored the room
properly? Are the books in the correct order? Should I clean the
adjoining room next or move to another wing entirely? When I start
asking questions, I get irritable replies as if I’m bothering
him.”

I realized I’d started to raise my voice, so
I took a calming breath again.

Aryana’s hands soothed the muscles in my
back while I tried to ignore Ila’s hands washing my front. Ila’s
smirk told me she knew it, too.

“I am grateful that I’m no longer a burden
on Father, but do wonder why my employer even wanted me there if he
can’t be bothered to give me direction.”

“You are on the right path,” Aryana
murmured. “Ask questions; study him. You will learn.”

Ila handed me the soap so I could finish
washing as she fetched the rinse water. Rinsed of the soap, I
followed them to the tubs, again noting how they walked with such
ease.

“I’m curious,” I said hesitantly.

“Of course you are,” Ila laughed. “If you
weren’t, you wouldn’t be in this house.”

Smiling, I nodded in agreement.

“How do you walk about with such confidence
and no clothes?” I asked as we each settled into a tub.

“What about clothes gives you confidence?”
Aryana asked.

“A sound question,” I said as I thought it
over. “I suppose it hides our faults.”

Aryana stood suddenly and held out her
arms.

“Do you see faults?”

“Well, I’m not a good judge,” I said. “I’ve
not seen many women naked.”

Aryana sat with a laugh.

“I have, and I will tell you that the men
who come here have a hard time finding flaws in limbs or torso.
They only see a body and not the person associated with it. So, we
wear a veil to hide the person in which they might find fault.”

I continued to think over her answer in
silence. Is that how the beast wanted to see me when I wore his
dresses? As a body and not a person?

Too soon, she insisted we leave the waters
and dress again.

* * * *

I ran the last several yards to the estate
as the sun sank below the tree line. I was cutting it close. The
gate grated open for me, and I flew through the gap without slowing
and collided with the beast, who had been waiting in mist clouded
shadows.

“Returned as promised,” I panted as I took a
step back from him and bent to rest my hands on my knees.

In response to my announcement, he turned so
the tip of his tail brushed my face. With a grimace, I
straightened, clasped his tail, and allowed him to lead me, even
though I knew I could find my own way. The fur of his tail stood
out stiffly, and I surmised my return so close to sunset had given
him concern.

Though I didn’t like his threats against my
father, I did feel a measure of pity for the beast. I could only
imagine how lonely his life was within the walls of the estate.

My stomach began growling before we reached
the kitchen.

“Change,” he ordered after we walked through
the outer door.

The mist pulled back to the small area where
he paced.

Sensing his barely contained mood, I slipped
into the servant’s quarters and gently closed the door. The
nightgown I’d removed just that morning now lay on the first bed.
With a sigh, I put it on and thought again of Aryana’s logic.

I didn’t want the beast to only see me as a
body. I wanted him to see me as a person, faults and all. After
all, we all had faults. Why put me in a position where I would
disappoint him when he discovered I wasn’t what he wanted? But what
did he want?

Knowing it would anger him, but unwilling to
bend, I put the shirt on over the gown, wearing it unbuttoned like
a wrap. When I opened the door, he growled loudly but didn’t order
the shirt away.

“Sit and eat,” he said.

On the table, there was another full meal
similar to the one I’d thrown at him. This time, I sat gracefully
and politely consumed what was before me. I ate until my stomach
stretched with pain, then used my napkin to dab my mouth. With a
content sigh, I rose.

“Thank you,” I said.

“Why did you wear the shirt? I warned that
you would lose it if you wore it inside,” he said, still in a poor
mood.

“The gown left me feeling exposed and cold,”
I said.

“Take it off.”

I walked toward him without reaching for the
shirt. The rasp of his pacing silenced as he stopped to watch
me.

The mist still obscured everything but his
outline. Walking through it, I stopped when only an inch separated
us. The mist tried gathering, but I stood too close for it to
shield him. Looking into his eyes, I calmly shed the shirt and
draped it over my arm. Then, I tilted my head and studied his
pointed, furred ears, his very sharp teeth exposed by his pulled
back lips, and his deep set blue eyes shot red with anger.

“Staring at the beast?” he asked with his
clicking growl.

“Staring at the Benella?” I asked
curiously.

He huffed a great breath that moved the hair
loosened from my braid.

“If you want me to bare myself to you, be
prepared to bare yourself to me,” I said.

He turned away, his claws scraping harshly
against the stone floor of the kitchen.

“Do as you like,” he said as he tore open
the door. It slammed closed behind him.

I wrapped the shirt around me again and made
my way to my bedroom. Without hesitating, I opened the double doors
to his room and walked to his wardrobe. There, I selected a new
shirt, much larger than my own, and shed my gown. If I were to lose
a shirt I wore, I’d rather that shirt be his.

Securely wrapped in a man’s fine shirt, I
curled under my covers and wondered what the beast would think of
the gown and shirt I’d left in his wardrobe. I drifted to sleep
with a slight smile on my lips.

* * * *

After washing my face, I went to the
wardrobe and saw it filled with a variety of gossamer dresses once
again. I closed the doors and opted to walk about the manor in his
shirt to see what he had to say about it. Though it bared my legs
from just above the knee, it covered me more thoroughly than any of
the dresses would.

The beast waited in the hall, as usual, when
I opened the door, his thick mist protecting him.

“Good morning. What shall we do today?”

“Do as you wish,” he said softly.

His calm voice surprised me. I’d been
prepared for another rant or argument.

“Do as I wish? Don’t you grow bored
following me around?” I asked, making my way toward the library,
listening to his soft steps behind me.

“That’s not your concern.”

“What exactly are my concerns?”

“Staying within the walls,” he said
immediately.

“Unless it’s my day to leave, correct?”

“Of course,” he said, his voice rough with
agitation.

I stopped walking and turned to face him. We
stood in the wide hallway just outside of the library. The mist
acted as a wall separating us, but I saw him pace back and forth
through it, backlit by a candle that quickly winked out.

“Do you intend to hurt me? Now or
eventually?”

He snorted.

“No.”

“You like watching me, no matter what I do;
and after the month is up, you intend to touch me,” I said as a
statement of fact. “You’ve stated you do not want me to fear you.
And you’ve kept me fed and sheltered. Yet through it all, I feel
you growing angrier.” I went on quickly before he could say
anything. “Now, I admit, I’ve done several things—many, actually—to
contribute to your ire. So I’m wondering if my presence is really
providing you with any value. Undoubtedly, I am reaping more
benefits than you. Why keep me?”

He growled, and I knew what he was about to
say.

“I know,” I sighed. “It is not my concern.
But did you consider that if you shared the purpose of my presence
with me, I might not be so difficult about what you request of me?
That maybe I might understand your reasons and assist you as best I
can in return for all the favor you’ve given me?”

Silence greeted my logic.

I turned and walked into the library,
listening to the brush of his paws against the floor.

Not in the mood for anything particular, I
browsed the shelves until a gilded book upon one of the highest
shelves caught my eye. Tilting my head back, I stared at it. I had
no hope of reaching it.

“Step onto my hand,” the beast said from
behind me.

I looked down and saw his furry paw extended
forward.

“Won’t I be too heavy to lift with one
hand?”

He made a noise between a grunt and a laugh.
I supposed he was very strong if he could throw grown men up and
over the walls of the estate. I kicked off the delicate slipper and
raised my foot, holding the shelf for balance.

“The other one, too,” he said, offering his
other hand.

I stood on his hands, and he easily lifted
me as he shifted from the crouch in which he’d started to his full
height. It brought me higher than the book. Placing a steadying
hand on a shelf, I bent slightly to reach for it.

He lifted me higher, keeping the book just
out of reach so I needed to bend lower. I rolled my eyes at his
game and reached for the book again.

His tongue rasped the back of my thigh, and
I froze.

“I changed my mind. I would like to get
down.”

“Not yet,” he whispered, lifting me
higher.

Still in his hands, I dropped to a squat and
twisted to face him. I caught him with his tongue hanging out for
the next swipe, and he licked my face instead of my thigh. We both
looked at each other in surprise.

“You promised,” I reminded him. “A month.
You know this is a breach in our bargain.”

“No more than the shirt.”

I couldn’t argue. He’d told me he wanted to
at least see me if he couldn’t touch me.

“What guarantee do I have you won’t touch me
if you do see me? I thought seeing a woman’s body caused,” I
flapped a hand while my face grew warm. “Well, I thought it grew a
man’s desire to touch her. Wouldn’t I just be putting myself in
danger?”

“No,” he said firmly. “If I see you, I
wouldn’t need to touch you. Only two days a week. The rest you
could wear what you wish.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. Why the change in
our deal? Were we getting closer to the real reason for my
presence?

“Please set me down. I need to consider this
carefully.”

He immediately set me on my own feet and
followed me as I slowly moved to sit on the sofa. I remained quiet
for several minutes, keeping my thoughts to myself, and he again
began to pace in agitation.

Walking about without clothes might have
seemed unsettling if not for my association with the Whispering
Sisters. For them, it appeared completely natural and served a
purpose. What purpose would my nudity serve, though, if not to
entice as theirs did? I didn’t know, and I didn’t like not
knowing.

There were several points in my life where
I’d made decisions not based on logic or concern for my well-being,
but simply based on curiosity. I knew this would be another
instance. I wanted to discover his purpose. However, there were
some concerns I couldn’t put aside.

“I will agree, but I have a few conditions
and some questions you must answer.”

“No questions,” he said with irritation.

“Come now, you don’t even know what they
are. How can you deny them? For instance, I’ve noticed several
enchanted beings here. The wood nymphs, the crow. I’m sure there
are others. I would like to know if you intend that they will see
me naked.”

He growled low, the click becoming so
pronounced that it seemed the growl stopped and started in
bursts.

“No one will see you but me,” he said.

“See?” I smiled slightly. “Not such hard
questions. May I choose the days?”

“Yes,” he growled. His pacing grew more
agitated.

“I’m not convinced I will be completely safe
once we start this. If I should die at the estate, I want you to
provide for my family.”

He stopped pacing, and through the mist, I
saw him turn toward me fully.

“You will not die.” Then he added softly,
“But I agree to your terms.”

“Then one last thing,” I said, taking a
calming breath. He wouldn’t like this condition, but I wouldn’t
sway from it. “No more mist. I need to trust that you will not harm
me. I can’t trust what you keep hidden from me.”

“If you see me, you will trust me less.”

Chewing my lip for a moment, I struggled to
come up with a solution that would work for both of us.

“What if you gave me a few hours each day
without the mist so I could know you better?”

He grunted his agreement, but the mist
remained. I didn’t mind. Trust took time.

“Go change,” he said abruptly.

Or maybe time wasn’t something the beast
wanted to acknowledge. I stood reluctantly. I’d agreed to the
terms. The only concern that remained was his treatment of me. Yet,
even if something happened to me as a result of my folly, my father
and sisters would benefit from it.

Without comment, he followed my slow
progress through the halls until we reached my door.

“Pick what you like from the wardrobe. Your
own this time,” he said.

Clothes? I’d thought he’d meant me to run
around naked.