Deceitfully (Sinfully Series) (18 page)

We were both fighting our own battles, but we were also each other’s saviors. She gave me the strength to remember to live each day to the fullest and to never take anything for granted. Life was a bitch like that and could take away something you love in the blink of an eye. Stella reminded me to live in the present and not to get stuck in memories of the past. If I had to guess, I hoped that I reminded her that she was loved and that she was worth it. I never wanted her to feel insecure, and in that very moment, there wasn’t an ounce of insecurity in her.

She finally smiled. “You’re staring.” Her hands moved up and locked behind my neck. Her pebbled nipples were grazing against my skin, and I felt my erection growing against her belly.

“I’m memorizing. I never want to forget this moment, right here with you. I’ve never felt so whole in my life, even with all the loss we’ve had. You make me see the world more clearly now. I don’t live day-to-day wondering if I’m on the right path anymore. You are my path. You’re my everything.” I moved a stray hair away from her face and stared straight into her gazing eyes. The love and passion that I craved to see was staring straight back at me. All of the regret and pain from just an hour ago was gone and it was just us now.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered and placed her hand in my hair, caressing me slowly. “I’m sorry for having such a terrible sister. For you having to go through that, unwillingly.” Her eyes showed the pain I felt inside, and I knew that while we were together in this, that it would take time to recover from what happened this afternoon.

Closing my eyes for a moment, I tried to gather my thoughts so that it wouldn’t come off wrong. “Never apologize to me, baby. You had nothing to do with that. As fucked up as it was, it made it so clear to me that you are my one. You are my only. I should have known it wasn’t you, but she made everything sound so different, so much more like you and unlike her. Maybe my mind wanted it to be you. I don’t know. When you walked in the door, I had thought I’d lost you. Really. Seeing what you saw, I figured you’d assume the worst and run without looking back. Thank you for that, Stella.” I kissed her on her pouty lips, showing my thanks through my actions.

After a moment, she pulled away and turned to face away from me. She was shielding me from something. “What is it, baby?” I could feel the distance she was putting between us, and I shivered.

“I can’t. Not yet.”

“Can’t what?” I wasn’t following her line of thought completely.

“Your—um—arousal. Normally, I’d be all up for it, but right now? I just can’t. Please understand?” Stella turned toward me and anguish covered her beautiful face. My poor girl. I brought her into a hug, hoping my erection that was rock hard for her wasn’t going to make things worse.

“Of course, I do. It has a mind of its own when it comes to you. I’d never expect that unless you and I were on the same page. We can be PG for a few days, baby. I wouldn’t mind snuggling up and watching movies on the couch with you and sneaking into your room at night to lay with you with my clothes on.”

“Clothes on? Now you’re just being irrational. It’s just too fresh in my mind right now. Give me a few days and I should be better.” She raised herself onto her tiptoes and gave me a deep, slow kiss that almost brought me to my knees.

This girl.

THE DAY HAD COME and I was a nervous wreck. Tate had gone to grab us two mocha frapps before we boarded the plane, and I couldn’t stop my knee from bouncing. After my panic attack a few weeks ago, Tate had convinced me to see my doctor, and I had gotten back on my anxiety meds. While I had started to feel them working, the doctor said it could be three to four weeks before I noticed any real improvement. I had originally been reluctant to go, but Tate had been so understanding and persuasive that I put on my big girl shoes and agreed. Looking back, I realized I really did need the medication to take the edge off and help me be
me.

Even so, getting on a plane with my boyfriend to go visit a friend of his who he’d had prior intimacies with was enough for my brain to go into overdrive. He’d come clean that he and Payton had been together before but that over the past couple of years, they had transitioned into this weird brother/sister friendship that was strictly platonic. After much convincing and video chatting with Payton and Emilynn, I came to see how their relationship worked. The banter between the two of them was similar to friends who’d known each other their whole life.

I’d learned that Payton was married to Ryder, and they were madly in love with each other. Many times, Tate and I would be chatting with Payton, and we’d see Ryder in the background cooing and playing with his baby girl. It was adorable.

I wanted that someday.

“You ready for some sunshine and relaxation?” Tate handed me my iced drink and took a seat next to me as we heard the airline attendant announce that first class could now board. He was wearing fitted dark wash jeans and a zip-up hoodie over his plain white tee and couldn’t have looked hotter. His sleepy, bedroom eyes were on me and he gave me a kiss on the cheek before telling me, “You’ve never looked more beautiful than you are right now. You’ve got this lightness about you that’s come out this past week.”

I looked down and thought about his words. I was wearing skinny jeans and a cream sweater with my hair pulled into a messy ponytail. When I thought about it though, I did feel lighter. I hadn’t been stressing as much, and after days of being royally pissed at my sister, I knew that going away with Tate to see Payton would also put separation that we very much needed between my evil sister and us.

Pushing any negative thoughts away, I replied, “I’m ready to hold a chunka-monk little baby. Is that weird? Being excited to hold someone’s baby who I’ve never met before?” I questioned as I took a sip of my drink and moaned in appreciation. “That’s so good. Thank you, babe.”

Laughing at me, he adjusted his pants. “No, Stella, thank you. Now I’ll be hearing your moans of appreciation in my mind the whole flight with nothing to do about it.”

“Nothing to do about it, my ass. Are you telling me that you’ve never? On a plane?” I was in shock that Mr. Sex on a Stick hadn’t joined the mile high club in all his years of rendezvousing.

Still laughing, he shook his head slightly and turned to look at who was sitting close to us. There was a college kid with headphones on his ears and two businessmen who were too busy talking on their phones to hear anything else.

“I’ve tried. Once. It didn’t go so well.” He blushed, and I knew I had to know the story.

“Spill.”

“Ugh. You better be glad that I love you.” He burrowed his face in his hands. “Fine.” He looked up and his panty-melting smile was back. “I’d just met her. She had offered to switch seats so that a mom could sit with her two boys and the girl ended up next to me. We started to chat about work and home life. It was chilly on the plane so she’d asked for a blanket, but as soon as she got it, she laid it out purposely covering both of our laps. I wasn’t expecting it, and she took matters into her own hands, literally. I sat back and enjoyed but just as I started to feel myself about to—you know, she unbuckled and took off for the bathroom. I was about to stand myself, but then I saw the two boys’ faces just staring at me, and I knew I couldn’t follow. I mean, what kind of role model would that be for them to see me walk into a plane bathroom and fuck a random passenger. I just prayed that they were too innocent to know what she’d been doing to me in the seat. After ten minutes, she came back pissed and defeated. It was an awkward rest of the flight, to say the least.”

I didn’t quite know how to respond to that. He had met her for all of five minutes and had considered taking her in the tiny airplane bathroom, but what caught my attention more was his respect for the younger generation and his realization of how their environment molded them.

“Can I safely say that a minute ago, I was up for the challenge to join the mile high club, but now I have no interest in showing every passenger what they can all assume we do behind closed doors?” Taking his hand in mine, I pictured us ten years down the road, with kids in tow as we traveled to go on vacation. I didn’t need kink in public; he could save that for when we were alone.

“I changed your mind that quickly? Well, while we might seem innocent now, I should probably tell you that I’ve booked us a suite at the hotel down the street from Payton and Ryder’s home. They have a guest room, but I thought it might be nice for some quiet time while we were there.”

“That sounds amazing. I can’t wait to get there already!” At that moment, our boarding zone was called and we gathered our bags and drinks. “Compared to Chicago, San Diego might as well be the Bahamas. Warm weather ninety percent of the time? Yes, please.” I thought about what all I’d brought in my carry-on and pulled my Kindle out so I’d have it handy. I didn’t want to keep people waiting for me if I could help it.

“It’ll be a nice change of pace for us. Thank you for coming with me. I’m ready to turn off my social media and enjoy my wonderful friends, my gorgeous girlfriend, and our relaxing environment for the next four days.” Tate put both our bags into the overhead compartment when we got on the plane and asked, “Window or aisle?”

“Window, please. I’ve never seen what the city looks like from a plane before. Is that okay?” He stood back and nodded sweetly as I climbed into the small area and set my purse under the seat in front of me. Tate sat down next to me and held my hand as we watched everyone else find their seats.

“I keep forgetting that you’ve never been on a plane before. It’s cute seeing you get all excited.” He spread his long, toned legs out as much as he could in front of him and settled in, allowing me to hold onto his left arm for comfort.

I pulled my Kindle out and selected a dark romance book that I’d been dying to read and looked over at a sleeping Tate. I only stopped reading to look out the window every so often, letting the clouds we flew through sweep me away.

I WAS JOLTED AWAKE when the plane touched down, taking in my surroundings, and I came across Tate staring at me contented. “What?” I slowly tilted my neck, sore from the position I’d fallen asleep in.

“You looked so peaceful. I was going to wake you so you could watch the landing but figured you could watch it on the plane ride back home. Sleep well?” He pulled out his phone from his jeans pocket and powered it on. “Payton said she’d be picking us up by the baggage claim.”

“My body hurts, but it was probably better that I napped now than when we get to their home. Is she bringing the baby?” I was way too excited about seeing Emilynn.

“I’d assume so? They aren’t much for nannies or sitters. Payton writes at home when she can but is otherwise a stay-at-home mom.” I took cues from Tate and stood when it was our turn, waiting for him to file out of the row and grab our bags. “I’ve got them both; you can go ahead of me,” Tate told me as he motioned for me to exit the plane.

Once we’d gotten our bags and made our way down to where Payton would be, the nerves kicked in. I felt like a junkie wanting to pop a few more pills in hopes that they’d calm me down. The realization of how big this moment was hit me like a ton of bricks.

What if she hated me? What if I hated her? What if Emilynn didn’t like me? Would he dump me if she told him to? What if she was a bitch who still wanted him after all these years?

“Baby? Come back to me.” Tate’s voice came through, and I was able to breathe again.

“I’m here. I just really hope this weekend goes well.”

“It will. I promise.” He looked down at his phone. “She’s parked right outside, but Emilynn’s sleeping so she asked if we’d walk out to her.” Tate picked up the bags, gave me a kiss on the lips, and led me out to her car.

The time had come.

“Butter!!!” I heard this tiny little thing scream, who looked like she could be on a swimsuit magazine. She was flippin’ gorgeous.

Butter?