Deception (23 page)

Slowly
he placed his hands on her arms, drawing her
around to face him. 'We needn't
notice.'

Trying
to smile at him again, she failed. Her face felt
stiff. She wasn't
sure what he meant, but her heart seemed
to. Her pulse beat
unsteadily as her eyes flew to his face.
'We won't have time to.'

He
smiled sardonically. 'At least you'll have time to
decide
whether you like being married to me or not,' he drew her closer, 'Mrs Murray.'
Unexpectedly he dropped
his head and kissed her lightly, but made no
further at
tempt to hold her. As she gazed up at him,
he asked as he
let her go, Would you mind if I grab the
bathroom first,
then you can have it as long as you like?'

He was only gone a
short while. Thea scarcely had
time to
unpack her new bathrobe before he was back with
only a towel wrapped around his waist. With a few con
fused words she hurriedly escaped, thankful that
he would
be dressed, ready for
dinner, before she returned.

Hoping
to give him ample opportunity, she soaked in
her bath longer
than she might otherwise have done. She
thought, too, she might feel more relaxed, but
it only
gave her more time to think. London
had disturbed her,
taking away her
new sense of security. If Logan insisted
on his marital rights mightn't
she be wiser to give in
to him without a
fight? If their relationship was cemented
in this way he wouldn't find it so easy to get rid of her if
he ever discovered how she had deceived him.
Loving him
as she did, she was
convinced it would be no hardship to
go
on living with him, even if he came to hate her.

Feeling strengthened
by her new resolutions, Thea
dried herself
on one of the beautiful pink towels pro
vided. She had almost forgotten how nice really thick
towels could be. After sprinkling her still damp
limbs with
a fragrant dusting
powder, she wrapped her bathrobe
tightly
around her slender body and left the bathroom.

To
her dismay she found Logan sitting on the edge of
the big double bed. He
had discarded his towel for a
short
dressing-gown and was reading an evening paper.
She wondered why he wasn't in the adjoining bedroom of
the suite and failed to prevent herself from
glancing at it
pointedly.

'I'll
get dressed,' she said quickly, averting her eyes
from him, her cheeks
regrettably pink.

'No hurry, is there?'
he rejoined smoothly, putting
aside his
newspaper but making no effort to comply with
her unspoken hint.

Thea,
determined not to allow her churning thoughts to get out of control, passed a
little too near to him and
he idly grabbed hold of her. 'Come
here, Thea,' he said
softly.

When
she instinctively resisted the pull of his hand, he
was
up on his feet in a moment. Still holding her, he stared
down,
to where her thin robe temptingly outlined her
near perfect
curves. His eyes darkened as his voice thick
ened slightly,
'Don't you realise just how beautiful you
are? You make me feel
impatient. And almost glad you've
been around, so that you
aren't going to be scared of me.'

But
she did feel frightened, much as she tried not to.
In
the bathroom she had been stern with herself, refusing
to
allow her own shrinking reticence. She had known what
she
must do, what Logan would expect of her, yet her
whole body seemed
to scream in protest, either unwilling
or unable to help her.

'Logan,'
she murmured breathlessly, trying to laugh
lightly, turning her face
from his prolonged scrutiny, "first
things first. I'm hungry!'

'So
am I,' he muttered indistinctly, the darkening pas
sion
in his eyes making her catch her breath. I want to
give
you all the time you feel you need, Thea, but you're
so
lovely you're making that almost impossible.'

'Please!'
she entreated, but he appeared both deaf and
blind to her
pleading as he drew her gently closer, as he
tilted her chin
and his mouth came down to cover hers.

The
feel of his mouth brought shivers of mindless ecstasy, but the fear in her mind
kept her own mouth
tightly closed against the warm insistence of his. She knew a
strange urge to fight him; she might have done
if something hadn't warned her in time. She had known what she was
entering into; she had given a promise and
she must keep it. She had never been truly honest with
him and
she mustn't add to her sins by trying to cheat
him of something which was his by rights. Hadn't she married him? Wasn't
she his wife? Besides, fully aware
now
of the warm feelings which rushed over her, she
wasn't even sure if she wanted to cheat him any more.

'Logan,'
she whispered, her lips parting as she forced
her hands to his
waist, then slid them, in apparent sub
mission, around him.

 
CHAPTER
NINE

As if that was all the
encouragement he needed, Logan drew her tighter against his hard body, making
her quickly aware of how she was arousing him. 'Don't fight me,' he said
thickly, sensing her uncertainty. 'I didn't intend this to happen so soon, but
it seems to be happening. You go to my head.'

Her lips trembled as
they softened. She could feel herself dissolving, drowning, under the
increasing urgency of his mouth. As he kissed her and his hands caressed her,
fire seemed to crawl down her spine, filling her limbs with a great weakness
and yearning. His eyes were pure green, passion leaping in their depth, and
suddenly she was responding to him, fiercely. Helplessly she heard herself
breathing his name, a world of longing in her voice, over and over again.

'I want you,' he
groaned, his mouth against the warm hollow of her throat, 'I want you very
much, Thea, you're driving me crazy!'

She wanted him
too—she didn't want to hold anything back. She was afraid, yet her senses
were heightened to a pitch of restless excitement. She was on fire and she
could feel the heat of his body as he pressed over her. She strained towards him
as he turned all her former vague longings into positive need, yet some part of
her still held back.

'Relax, Thea,' his
voice was husky as his mouth returned to hers, parting her lips hungrily,
'I'm not a stranger and I'm not playing games. I don't know how much longer I
can stay sane. Drive me too far and I might hurt you.'

As he threw off his
dressing-gown and crushed her to
him, her
hands moved blindly over him. Now he seemed
somewhere beyond words and she couldn't speak herself.
Instinct swamped reason as a feverish passion
cleaved her
to him, paralysing her
with desire. His relentless com
mand
over her left her shaking, but she could no longer
hide the messages sent out by her yielding body.
Logan
didn't love her, but she loved
him, which must make this
partly
right, somehow. Whatever the outcome, there was no
way she could avoid
complete surrender.

'Logan,'
she moaned, 'Logan ...' Now she opened her
lips under his, kissing
him back, her hands sliding around
his shoulders, her
fingers digging into his bare flesh until
she felt him shudder.
Then her eyes closed as the desire
between them surged. It
came in waves, as his demands grew, tumbling her breathlessly until she was
melting
helplessly against him. He held her as though he would
never
let her go, taking her with him every inch of the
way.
She was rising and falling, drifting mindlessly, hear
ing
his hoarse breathing yet deaf to what he was saying.
She
was aware of his tenderness, that he was trying to be gentle, until pleasure
overwhelming him made him oblivious for minutes to her own starded cry of
pain. Then,
just as she wanted to cling to him again,
she was free, as
he rolled away from her.

The next morning,
Thea woke early to watch
him as he lay sleeping beside her. For a few moments she examined his face
closely, making no move to disturb him. It wasn't
that
she didn't want to, suddenly conscious of her urgent
love
for him; she wanted to very much, but she felt almost
ashamed
of her own responsiveness to his strongly muscled
body.

In
an attempt to divert such wayward impulses, she turned her thoughts tremulously
back to the previous
evening. Logan had been strangely silent
after making love to her. Glancing at him uncertainly from under wet
lashes,
she had seen that he had looked slightly stunned.
Somehow,
she had just wanted to fade quietly into the
mattress, but as
that wasn't possible she had struggled
tearfully into her
crumpled robe. Not for anything would
she have confessed to
feeling oddly cheated.

Suddenly
his hand had come out to stop her, to her
surprise very gently,
although his eyes had again held traces of passion. 'Darling,' he said softly,
'I'm sorry. If
only you'd told me, Fd have used more restraint. It's
never so good for a girl the first time, but it
will be better after this, I promise you.' His breathing steadying slightly,
he had hesitated, his eyes on her full, sensuous
mouth.
'Do you want to go down for
dinner, or would you rather
stay here with me?'

He
had left her in no doubt as to what he would have preferred doing, but he
hadn't protested when she had
declared, perhaps too vehemently,
that she was still hungry.

'Come
on, then,' he had said curtly. Then, his eyes
softening
ruefully, he had kissed her tenderly before get
ting
up off the bed to go to his wardrobe to seek a shirt.
He
had seemed as indifferent to his own state of undress
as
he was to the mixture of fascination and outrage in her
eyes
as she watched him. Such things, his broad back had
informed
her arrogantly, she would have to get used to.

They
had gone down to dinner, but the mood hadn't
been right. Logan
had seemed curiously on edge, while
Thea had been too aware
of new sensations, if not fully
comprehending, to relax.
The meal had been superb, but
she hadn't been conscious of what she
was eating. She hadn't been able to stop looking at him, every now and again
stealing little glances, wishing more, with every
passing
minute, to be back in his arms, longing now for
his more intimate
touch. Where, before, she had been
frightened, she now
wanted to be close to him, to know
again the feeling of his
heated lips running over her skin.

She
found herself wishing she had complied with his
taut suggestion that they stay in their
rooms. If he had hurt her she quickly forgot it and was filled with a new,
impatient eagerness. This she had tried to hide, but later, as they had danced
on a dimly lit floor, it became very obvious that she was betraying herself.

'Thea,' he protested
tersely, as she pressed more closely against him, her slight figure enticing,
in a gown that showed quite a lot of it. Softly his voice lowered to a groan.
'Do you know what you're doing to me? I want you to come upstairs. No more
putting off.'

And it had been as he
had promised the second time. Very quickly he had made everything right for her,
and then more slowly, throughout the night, he had taught her much about the
art of loving. Sometimes he had been gentle, sometimes not, but he had not done
anything to spoil her growing love for him. If he had loved her, too, she knew
it would have been perfect.

Aware of being
watched, he woke up, smiling at her lazily. Then the smile was gone from his
eyes, to be replaced by a smoulder of passion, as he took in her pale
langour, the warm invitation of her sofdy parted lips. Turning on his side, he
leant over, covering her mouth with his own.

Some minutes later he
murmured, 'Do you remember the first time I kissed you? You had a cold and felt
very sorry for yourself.'

Reluctantly she opened
clouded eyes.
I
remember, but you don't,' she heard herself replying.

'Say that again?'
clearly believing she was muddled in her thinking, he bent to kiss her more
thoroughly.