Deception (13 page)

Before I could speak further, he’d walked me up to Queen Lazyra who was intimidating to even stand next too.  She was instructing several Fey about her dissatisfaction of the food quality and when finished looked over as if she already knew I was standing there.

“Sit down,” she told me.  Her eyes found Ian, but didn’t say anything or change her expression to acknowledge her son was present.  He simply sat down across from her. 

I was upset he sat away from me, but guarded my thoughts.  “We need to talk about coming events. First,” she smiled a very authoritative smile, “how are you feeling?”

I looked at Ian for help and got none.  He was very straight-faced as was the feeling I got when he was around the queen. I decided to be honest, but at least appear calm.  “A little overwhelmed!”

“I can only imagine.  Well, you are familiar with the Seelie court and our code now.  We have conflict just like any organized group with many voices and opinions to… stir things up,” the queen twitched her nose ever so slightly, “for which we will get to before our little snack is concluded.”  I wasn’t sure, but it felt like most of what the queen said had some kind of underlying meaning behind well...everything she said.  And Ian had a habit of that too, though I don’t think it was meant to trick me like hers seemed aimed at doing.   “When you were born, your mother, Ginera, became mother to a creature of one of the rarest forms.”

Feeling odd to be referred to in this way I guarded what I wanted to think in my head, for it wasn’t nice.  And my mom always insisted that if you cannot say something nice, it need not be said.

Her posture in perfect form, the queen continued, “A prophecy was delivered on that day.” 

Ian was motionless.  He seemed either bored or severely nervous, I couldn’t decide.  Two flying Fey with wings moving so fast to follow where the wings began and ended now flew into the table, apologized, and handed the queen a piece of tree. 
Tree bark
?

The Fey were keen to cautiously treat it as a delicate rose petal that was at the brink of dissipating into dust.  I couldn’t imagine why it was so important, but it was arguably falling apart and handled this way.

Queen Lazyra unfolded the wood into what can be described as a paper substitute perhaps, and then a small fairy surprised me with a deep voice like it was using it as a megaphone,  

“We’ll come seek you on one hallowed eve

When grace upon you is in full bloom

A queen emerges among us all

To take us into a peaceful rule

A prince will name her to his own

Guard her well from friend or foe

Come seek us at the pass

Otherwise, you shall not last.

I wasn’t sure what they wanted me to say.  “And that was about me?” I finally asked with my voice quivering half thinking about what was just announced and how the little girlish looking creature made such a deep manly voice. 

“We have waited for you for a long time?” the queen sounded almost loving. 
Almost!

I looked at Ian.  “He has waited for a long time, too!”  Ian looked uncomfortable for brief second.  I was undecided as to whether it was because it was the queen saying it, or because of what she said. I felt extremely uncomfortable either way.  A rather sad revelation came of it.  Did he really want me or was it really a choice?  It was looking constantly more like a detailed planned event as each second ticked by. No one seemed to be answering the latest of my thoughts though they seemed rather important to me and should to Ian. Figures!

I rolled my eyes on the inside.  Just when I wanted my thoughts answered, the mind readers were rendered speechless.

“It is not much time, but you are ready whether you think you are or not.  Tomorrow, you will be queen.”

I didn’t mean to shout, but my nerves were growing thinner with the unknown, “I don’t know the first thing about all this.  You are giving me very little to go on here.  You cannot tell me all this and expect me to just smile and be your puppet.  I’m in control here too.”
I put my head in my hands. 

“You’ll be fine,” the queen said.  I looked out of my fingertips to Ian who only moved once she gave the okay feeling very much like Ian was
the queen’s puppet son.  He put his hand on my shoulder.  It tingled, but I didn’t want to show my reaction to it.  I felt better.  I felt way too better, way too fast!

I turned around cutting my eyes and gave a sideways glance at him.   His eyes were on her too,
not me
.  Without a doubt, he knew I was guessing what it might be.  I started to protest, but decided it better to go along with it and attack him later.  I just wasn’t sure this was all right.  I was torn between Ian and this queen thing.  I knew they came together in a package.  And I wasn’t afraid of being in charge, but the idea of in charge of a people I knew nothing about.  Just yesterday, the world was normal. 
Normal!

The queen looked at Ian again and then Ian turned to speak to me.               

“It will be easier than you think.  Some of it comes naturally.  You are a natural at making others do your will because they want to make you happy,” he paused, his eyes troubled, “You… could change your mind.” His pain was evident.

Mommy dearest stiffened at that.  She didn’t seem too keen on that alternative.
 
I put my head to my hands again and sat that way for a while.  Panic attacks do that to a person.  They didn’t seem to be hurrying me.  At some point I decided that acting like a thirteen year old school girl was unbecoming even sitting in a make believe world where I felt all alone at the moment and the weight of that supposed world weighing on my shoulders alone.  I wasn’t going back without him.  It was time to accept “weirdness” and not give in to another ounce of anxiety driven what ifs.   I raised my head and back up straight.

“Okay!  What do I do next?  But no more unannounced shockers that might be coming my way unless I know.  I want to know everything that’s going to happen tonight, tomorrow, ever.”  I needed that release.

“And I want to know what my parents think about this and when can I visit them.”  This was the first time I’d thought about my parents since yesterday.  I am a horrible daughter.  They had to be worried sick.

I was still mad knowing my mom knew all this time that a fairy dude, and a prince at that, was hanging out with her daughter.  She’d encouraged it!   How much did she know?  Did she know how much I like Ian?  She wasn’t blind.  Ian had already told me that she was like him. Did she read my mind?   What about my happily ever after? Was she in on it all along? 

That’s what did it, you know.
I suddenly came to realize that this was exactly what I wanted.  Yes, I was overwhelmed with the newness of all of it, but I couldn’t imagine a better future that didn’t include Ian and this magical place.  I finally realized he was kind of like my missing puzzle piece.  We just fit together perfectly. 

I’d known that for years. 
Did he?

“Yes!”

OOOHHH!
  I steamed waving my arms in his direction.  “Don’t do that!  You were listening.”

“I can stop, if that is what you need.”

“Yes, I want you to stop, kapish.”  He said nothing back. 

“And you will see your parents again, but not without caution.”

A voice I’d forgotten was in the room beckoned me back.

“Silly girl.  Ian loves you.  Can’t you see that?”  Lazyra said this as if she were talking to a child.  I didn’t want to look up to give her any satisfaction.  It is completely different to hear the words aloud. 
But definitely from the wrong person!
  I still had my eyes on the floor with my mouth open with the big O.

He neglected to rescue me right then. The moment was stolen from us.  Now would be a good time for that never fail rescue.  I decided, or hoped, he was probably not keen on sharing in front of “momma.” 

“Tomorrow night, you will turn eighteen.  We call that the “coming of age” ceremony.  The prophecy will be fulfilled.  And your betrothing ceremony will conclude it,” Queen Lazyra announced in that same superior way as all else she says.

“What is a betrothing ceremony?” I asked innocently enough assuming is was just another court ritual for joining up. 

Behind me Ian cleared his throat.  I glanced back at him never seeing him get there.  He seemed even more uneasy than just seconds ago so I turned back to the queen to be sure she wasn’t throwing out evil vibes.   The queen wasn’t bothered by anything I’d said the whole morning, so when she said this next tidbit of information, she had the same semi-bored look she’d had all morning.

“You will promise to become his bride.”

She said what?
Bride?  What? 
This is not happening.
 
I closed my eyes.  I’d just promised myself to keep my composure, but this is not the fairy tale proposal for marriage I’d envisioned when I watched Cinderella as a little girl.  Another stolen moment in front of the parental had me screaming in my head for Ian to control his mother. 

Ian touched my shoulder and cleared his throat.  “For all time.”

“I don’t know what to say.”   M
arried? 

I couldn’t wrap my head around that one.  I pictured myself getting married at twenty-something, not
now
, living in a suburb, but
later
, and carpooling to work.  That was reality.   In my dreams, I pictured Ian taking me far away to some distant land and living like a fairy tale with happily ever after.  But this wasn’t the plan.  Did my mom know about this part?

Queen Lazyra pointed to Ian, “You didn’t give her much information to start with my son.”             

“Yes, my queen.  This girl has, well, a way of freezing my tongue.  I tried.” He blushed. 

That was his attempt at hidden meanings without having to say something too personal in front of me or his mother.  No wonder he worried over his mother for years, she’s the devil’s twin.

The queen sighed as if she were annoyed and turned her annoyance on me.  “You will be ready at just after twilight.  Your gown was readied this morning.  You are free to roam the gardens until noontime meal and then Ian will meet you.  Then the girls will ready you for meeting the rest of the court.”

I waited, but this seemed like a dismissal.  I said thank you and asked to talk to Ian.  The queen stood, “He will be along after the meal. Eat.  I have matters I have to attend too.  Ian will inform you better before nightfall.”

The queen left and Ian right behind her.  I just don’t understand the puppet Ian.  He was this
bad boy throw me up on his bike never give an edge
guy to me.  But that guy wasn’t around with mommy dearest here.  I will see when I get him alone.   I supposed I would try to eat, but my hunger was recently stolen from the depths of my stomach.

Behind the ivy wall corner, “Son, you should have better informed her.  She acts as if she has not a clue what comes next?”

“She does not.”  He couldn’t talk about this to his mother.  Was she daft?  Far from it, I guessed. 

“Son, if she loves you, she loves you.  It does not matter either way.

“But...”

“What?” she said as she made her eyes pull together like a Siamese cat ready to pounce.

I peeked from my hidden spot trying to keep my mind clear and not give myself away.

“Well, the prophecy predicted our union.  I just don’t want her to think she
has
to marry me.  I want her to want me for me.  That’s why I never told her anything.  I thought she’d run away from me.  You talk to her so coldly,” he looked like he regretted it the second he’d said it from the look on that woman’s face.  Why he was saying any of it, anyway?  She does not care about anything but the throne. 
Power
. That’s what she wants!

His jaw set.  With her back to me now, I couldn’t see her tell tale facial expressions that sometimes escaped her when she talked about her son. 

“Son, put your frivolous worries to rest.  You can read her mind as well as I can.  For as long as Fey have existed, we have not seen a human queen.  Our history will change forever.  And if she chooses to abandon us to the Nyms, we have no choice,” she wasn’t finished and only tightened her tone, “but that will not happen. You need to go to her.  Tell her how you feel, give her the whole truth.  And no, I have never loved as you do son. I cannot understand your emotions.  They get in the way of your ability to think.”

He just nodded.  I don’t think she understands him like I do. He was able to open up about his so called “mom” to me during our trampoline excursions and such but this was worse than I ever expected. 

When Ian bowed to her I left before I could get caught.

I didn’t really want to eat, so I headed to the garden to think.  My appetite escaped me after that episode of Sleeping Beauty’s evil queen enchantress reincarnated.   I’d heard the tail end of the queen’s heartless speech to her son.  I felt sorry for Ian.  Now I understood why he stressed over his real mother all those years. She was a puppet master and she was determined to be master at the cost of her son.  Her domination over him was disheartening.  How could a mother act that way?  Would she still be if she wasn’t the queen anymore? That’s a thought.  Is that the real reason Ian wanted a new queen?  To take over.  I didn’t want to doubt, but I couldn’t help but wonder after hearing nothing but venom out of that woman’s mouth.  On the other hand, Ian is nothing but sincere.  His eyes were like glass mirrors to his soul.  I wondered if mine were too.  Either way, I owed him the benefit of the doubt.

I hurried around three corners going left every time and then a right turn landing me in the garden.  I settled into a place to sit, took a deep breath, and tried to look like I’d been there a while.  I knew he’d have checked the table first when
mommy dearest
was finished.  I straightened my gown when I heard him approach.

“Em!” he cleared his throat.  The armored black plated belt that held a bow and quiver clanked against the hilt of his sword as he stopped and looked down at me.  My heart was already speeding up just looking at him, taking him in.  This reminded me too much of the damsel in distress episode in fairy tales.  How fitting, I thought.  I chuckled slightly at the thought guarding my thoughts by repeating the word
wow
over and over.

“Grace!” he said very gently, softly.  “Can we talk?” 

“I don’t think we have enough time to talk about what all is on my list.”  I tried to look pissed like he could when mad as I fidgeted with my hands in my lap.  I needed a focal point.  I
needed
to look more confident than I felt.  There was a certain bravery in being soft, and Ian was that when his eyes were upon me, but for the moment I wanted to be demanding and rude and blunt. It was a good thing flying creatures hovering above was a good distraction.

A few small fairies giggling passing us as he sat down next to me. 
Close!
  He had not taken his eyes off of mine and I knew it.

“I have a lot to tell you.  I’ve tried so many times to tell you.  I even tried to make you see my
magic
…hoping to make you run away.”  His voice was stern.

“Run away?”  That caught my attention.  I jerked up losing the small thread of confidence I’d conjured in my seconds to spare.

“Yes, Grace.  The right thing to do was make sure you chose what you wanted.  Nothing else mattered.  I was there with you every day of your life.   Nothing was going to hurt you, and nothing ever will.”  The
me protector, you my woman
Ian was talking now.

I knew he meant the flowers and mind tricks and such.   What was he trying to save me from?   “This kind of stuff just does not exist to me.  To anyone.”

“It does in this world…mine and yours now.”  He snickered.  “You thought I was just good ole Ian, your best pal.  I admit I read your mind many times and hoped what you were thinking was true, would stay true.”

“I—“

“Wait.  I need to say this,” he pleaded letting his man-shield down.  “I need you to know how I feel.  I have lived longer than any one human lifespan.  I have never known a human before you and believed them to all be self-centered selfish creatures.  You are anything but.  I followed orders for so long I never guessed get feelings for the one who messed up my like.  What I mean is, I don’t want to believe a prophecy to make you…to have you…”

“Love you!”

He gasped just a small fraction at the foreign words coming from my mouth that seemed really easier to say because I know without a doubt it has been there for years.

“Yes, Ian, I love you.  I have said it for years, just not out loud.  I don’t need a prophecy to tell me who to love.”  I felt brave to have said it out loud.  On top of the world brave.

“I’ll honor my protection over you, but do you want all this?  Knowing that so much is unknown.  You will live here, with me.   And I will love you with every breathe I have in me.”  He held my gaze.  I was paralyzed.  This guy, who was anything but typical, focused first on the manly protector aspect and love second.  I couldn’t speak.  I couldn’t even blink.  I was left in the dark for so long on so many things.  That part was still true.

After what seemed like forever, I said to the ground, “I just never knew you... had feelings for me,” I faltered..

“You don’t see yourself very clearly.  You are so…crazy to not know how amazing you are.  You stop my breath every time I see you.  I probably should not tell you this, but I think I have always known.  Some underlying force was pushing me to you.  And well, if you had read
my
thoughts, you would know what your smile does to
me
.  I think I substituted that for terms of endearment for years to satisfy my infatuation,” he grinned.. 

I rolled my eyes at the word
infatuation
.  To hear Ian say it made my heart pound in giant waves hoping for a tsunami.  I didn’t want my heart broken that I had just spilled all over the floor.

He continued, “And you knew what your smile meant to me already.  I have never hid that from you. You even milked it for what it got you.  You smiled, I gave you what you wanted.  But you knew deep down inside what it really meant.” 

I knew what he insinuated, but no, I didn’t know it meant more. My mouth quivered at remembering all the times he really did do whatever I wanted. 
Mostly
.

He continued on his own, “I love the way the corner of your mouth sneaks up at just the right moment I want it too.  It makes me want….”  He reached up and touched my cheek tenderly on the side of my mouth resting on the corner.  One finger ran across my bottom lip.  My eyes wanted to roll into the back of my head from the sheer pleasure of it.

“You don’t see yourself either.  You have always been there for me. And you don’t realize what you do to
my
heart rate.”  After it was out there, I wanted to take it back.

He laid his palm on my trembling hand that gripped my dress to keep from showing my raw emotions to him.  He unfolded my fingers and laced them into his own, smiling.

“See!” he said. His smile grew wider as he raised my other hand to land across where his heart would be heard.

“Your heart rate, yeah,” my voice cracked.  I hated when my voice seemed to give every secret thought away in one syllable but the sheer bliss of simply being able to touch him was heaven. 

He moved a little closer on the rock-like bench we were sharing, unlaced, our hands and stroked my warmed cheeks ever so gently. 

“See. I told you,” I boldly pulled his hand to center over the erratic speedfest in my chest.  We never took our eyes away from the other. On my part, it had to do with missing a trick or two he might try. Fairies are real, just a bit more realistic in the formation sense. 

He lowered both of his hands after a time.  “And as far as what happens next, I am scared to death, too.  But if you will do it with me, I am ready for anything.”  A very honest, romantic softer version of my Ian was talking.

“Do I really have a choice?  To leave?”

He nodded.   I didn’t want to ever leave him.  “Then I have one condition.” 

The look of shock in his eyes alone was enough to make me follow through with what I was about to drop on him. It wasn't a joke and I was dead determined to have it.

“When do I get to read your thoughts?” I paused for effect getting exactly as I predicted.  Then I laughed quickly to ease the tension, but made my face serious again to show I meant business.  There was no alternative once I came to terms with it.  “I am just keeping it real, babe.”

He chuckled uneasily under his breath for the moment, but it didn’t reach his eyes.  There was never a dull moment!  “You already know them. You have some amazing effect over my tongue.  It spills its inner most secrets without resistance at even the most tense of moments.”  He closed the distance between us without me realizing.  My back stiffened unwilling from the heated feelings moving through my body foreign to me.  He stayed there even when he realized what he’d done.  Neither one of us knew how to treat the feelings we’d bottled for so long.  We’d spent so many nights lying side by side on the trampoline inching away when our bodies accidentally rolled too close to the other.  Now I know he felt as much as I did all those times.

I watched him move back in what I assumed and hoped was simple fear.  I changed the subject to ease the tension and to keep myself from the pure need to attack him simply because it wasn’t ladylike.  “Now, tell me about tomorrow tonight.”  I started quizzing him.