Decipher (Declan Reede: The Untold Story #3) (3 page)

“How did you get in anyway?” I asked.

“Have you forgotten already?” She laughed before holding up the three-hundred-dollar key ring I’d given to her with my house keys dangling from it.

I smiled in wonder at the amazing woman who’d blessed me with her love.

As I walked out the door, Phoebe threw herself at me. “Daddy!”

I let go of Alyssa’s hands just in time to catch Phoebe. Alyssa wrapped her arm around my waist as I stood back up holding Phoebe.

“Is this your castle, Daddy?”

I looked back at my house and tried to see it through the eyes of a three-year-old. The two-and-a-half story building was huge, especially compared to the three-bedroom house she and Alyssa lived in. It was easy to indulge her. “It sure is, sweetie. And you know what? It’ll be your castle too very soon.”

It wasn’t until after the words had left me that I wondered whether Alyssa might not want Phoebe to know that just yet, but it was too late to reel the statement back in.

“Declan.” Eden’s voice reminded me of her presence. 

“Eden,” I greeted semiformally. Despite the fact she’d tried to warn me and had helped Alyssa out, I wasn’t sure where things stood between us. She was Sinclair through and through, even more than I’d ever been. Now that I’d been sacked, I worried she might consider it a reason to end our friendship.

“Wow, this”—she indicated Phoebe and Alyssa—“really suits you.”

“Thanks.” I couldn’t meet her eye. She’d read the magazine. Considering we’d been linked as an item, she had to know it was mostly bullshit, but did she believe any of it?

She tickled the back of Phoebe’s neck before resting her hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry about Danny,” she whispered. “I tried to convince him to let you stay, or to at least give you a chance to explain. I told him that there was a lot of BS in the article and the rest was probably a misunderstanding too, or flat-out lies, but he just wouldn’t listen. You know him. He’s so old-fashioned sometimes. Loyalty is the thing he values above all else. I guess he felt betrayed by the stuff with Wood.”

“It’s okay, Edie.” It wasn’t. I was putting on a brave face, but still there was some
truth to my words because I had Alyssa and Phoebe. Nothing else mattered compared to that. “But why aren’t you in Bahrain with everyone else?”

“I couldn’t just go,” she said. “Not after Danny told me what was going to happen. I’ll be flying out to meet the team in the next few days.”

With those words, it was clear that at least some of her loyalty still resided with me. She’d sacrificed so much, staying home and risking disciplinary action herself so that she could contact Alyssa and help me. “Thank you for your support.”

Even as she nodded, she eyed the arm Alyssa had around my waist with a small grin. After a moment, she obviously felt she was intruding.

“I’m going to leave you in Alyssa’s capable hands,” she said, beaming as she looked at Phoebe again. “But I’ll be back soon. I don’t care if you’re not with Sinclair Racing anymore. Don’t think you can escape me that easily.”

I just nodded, although inwardly I blew a sigh of relief that things between us could at least return to status quo.

She turned to Alyssa, grabbing her hand. “And you . . . I’m awed at how fast you’ve been able to domesticate him.” She winked at Alyssa and they both chuckled. “Keep in touch, won’t you?”

Alyssa nodded and gave her a small hug. My little family stood watching as Eden climbed into her Holden Cascada and drove off. I perched Phoebe on my hip and wrapped my arm around Alyssa’s shoulders.

“Shall we go inside?”

“I get to look inside the castle?” Phoebe asked.

Alyssa met my eye and nodded. “Of course, sweetie. Daddy told you, it’s going to be your castle soon too.”

Phoebe clapped her hands. “Yay!”

I didn’t care that it took Alyssa saying the words to make them real for Phoebe, because hearing them offered a sense of relief that I hadn’t anticipated. I put Phoebe back onto the ground and reached for her hand. “Let’s go then, princess.”

Alyssa chuckled and I led them inside. The smile on my face was half a lie. Even though things seemed okay for the moment, I worried about what might come next. What could I offer them but my love? I’d lost everything except them. I was unemployed, with no skills, and with a sizeable mortgage hanging over my head.

“We’ll be okay,” Alyssa whispered, as if reading my thoughts.

All I could do was hope she was right.

CHAPTER THREE: FAMILY

AS SOON AS we were inside, I led Alyssa and Phoebe around the house, showing them from room to room, starting on the ground floor. Then I took them upstairs and continued the tour there. When we hit the bathroom, I paused at the door. Liquor stained the wall and the bathtub was full of glass.

“Daddy, your barftub’s messy.”

“Uh . . .,” Alyssa started, but then trailed off before she asked any questions. Curiosity blazed in her eyes, though.

“It was a close one,” I said, repeating my words from earlier as I hung my head.

“But you didn’t,” Alyssa whispered.

The reality of everything came crashing over me. There was so much on the tip of my tongue. So much I needed to say—that I wanted Alyssa to know. The letter I’d written her when I’d thought hope was lost sprang to mind. The longing I’d felt when I thought she was gone.

While Phoebe was otherwise occupied, I turned to Alyssa. “Lys, I—”

She cut me off by pressing her finger against my mouth. “There’s time for that later. Let’s just enjoy being together tonight? Please?”

It was clear she was asking for herself as much as for me. Even though the day had no doubt been harrowing for her, just as it had been for me, she was there and willing to push it aside for a little longer just to be a family.

“Okay, but I think you need to call your mum,” I said. “She was a little frantic when I spoke to her last.”

“Which means she’s probably talked to your mum.”

Alyssa’s words were a reminder that Mum was due to leave the country the following morning. “Shit, I better call Mum.”

“Language,” Alyssa said, nodding in Phoebe’s direction.

“Sorry. Habit. I’ll try to clean it up, I swear. After all, I have a reason to now.”

I held out my arms for her, and she stepped inside. Phoebe wrapped herself around us, one arm around my leg and one around Alyssa’s.

“Two reasons,” I added, running my fingers through Phoebe’s hair. She looked up at me with a grin and I couldn’t resist picking her up and resting her on my hip.

“We should probably get the phone calls over with so we can enjoy our night,” Alyssa said.

The next hour was a whirl of me entertaining Phoebe while Alyssa called her mum, and then the airline to book a return flight for her and Phoebe. Because she’d driven my car down to meet me, rather than waiting for me to fly back up to claim it, she needed to get back to Brisbane another way.

Once she’d done what she had to, we swapped so that I could call Mum to say goodbye before she left to jet-set around the globe.

“You’re okay with this, aren’t you, Declan?” Mum asked. “With me going away, I mean? I can cancel if you’d prefer. Maybe come to Sydney for a while instead.”

“Mum, how long have you been dreaming about going overseas?”

“W-what are you talking about?” The innocence in her denial was almost comical.

“Well, clearly you’ve wanted this for a while. The decision to leave was too impulsive, too fast. Too . . . like me. Not like you at all. You’ve obviously wanted it for a while, and maybe even planned it out in your head.”

“I—” The guilt in her voice was clear.

I cut her off with a laugh. “It’s okay, I get it. Really, I do. With the shi—stuff Dad did, I’d be surprised if you hadn’t been planning this escape for years. Who am I to tell you not to go?”

“You’re my son, that’s who. If you need me to stay until this magazine stuff blows over—and it
will
blow over—that’s what I’ll do.”

Turning so that I could watch Alyssa and Phoebe, I smiled. “No. I think I’ll be fine. After all, I’ve got Lys.”

“If you’re certain?”

“I’m positive, Mum. Go, live your life for you for a while. We’ll all be here when you get back. Maybe you can spend some time with us in Sydney then?”

“I’d like that.”

We chatted for a little while longer, in a way we hadn’t ever done while I’d been at the peak of my career. Later, after I’d wished her a safe flight, I disconnected the call feeling lighter than I had since before flying in for the meeting with Danny.

After I’d finished the call, I sat on the floor with Phoebe and watched while she and Alyssa played with a doll Alyssa had obviously brought with her from Brisbane. Near the door was an overnight bag stuffed to a point just past full and looking ready to burst at the seams.

“So when are you going home?” I asked, even as the thought of them leaving caused a lump to grow in my throat.

“Wednesday.” She frowned as she said the word. “I just booked our flights home. I’m sorry, Dec, I can’t get any more time off work.”

The mention of the
W
word reminded me that I no longer had to work. No longer had a job. Was unemployed and most likely unemployable. After all, what team would want a driver that has scandal follow him everywhere? My knowledge of sponsorships and the way they worked might not have been perfect, but it was enough to understand that I was a liability.

“Dec,” Lys said. Her voice was soft as she drew me from my thoughts. “It’ll work itself out. Somehow.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“How about we put it out of our minds and see what’s for dinner?”

I laughed.

When Alyssa tilted her head in confusion, it made me laugh harder, which caused Phoebe to giggle.

“I told you before, Lys. I don’t do domestic. There’s fu—nothing here.”

“Well, I guess you get to show us your favourite restaurant.”

“There’s an awesome Chinese place just around the corner.”

“Great. Let’s go. And we can grab some bread and milk on the way back home.” 

We headed out for dinner, giving me the chance to get things right for a change.

I SAT bolt upright as a scream pierced the night.

“Mummy!”

My heart raced at the sound of Phoebe’s terrified shriek.

The few days I’d stayed in Alyssa’s house in Brisbane, when Phoebe had slept through the night without any issue, hadn’t prepared me for the sleeplessness of an unsettled child. It was like an all-night bender, but without the booze buzz before we started.

It was worse than I’d expected it could be. Mostly because it’d been a hell of a night after such a shitty-arsed day. First the bathtub had needed to be completely cleaned and scrubbed before Phoebe could have her bath, which she apparently could not possibly go to sleep without—not even for one night. I’d done what I could to get rid of the glass, and used the sprayer to shift the bulk of the sticky liquid that coated the tub and tiles behind. After I’d finished, Alyssa had gone over my handiwork to make sure there was nothing left.

Then, when Phoebe was settled into the spare bed—the first time—I led Alyssa into my room. Once again, I was struck by regret that I’d brought my conquests there over the four years I’d been alone. My legs liquefied with each step and my hands grew clammy at the thought. I was such a fucking player. Any plan of a proper reunion with Alyssa flew from me. Each fresh glance around the room dragged another muddied memory through my mind.

The bed, most of the bedroom, was tainted with the history of things I now regretted. Tying a blonde to the frame there. Being pinned against the headboard there while redheaded twins fought over my cock. Holding on to the bedpost there while the chick with black curls and huge boobs rode me. A rotation of faces, bodies, and positions. My stomach churned as they assaulted my mind.

I buried my face in my hands. Any one of the nights would probably have been enough to fill most men’s spank banks for life, but it was never enough for me.

Each empty encounter only made me long for something more.

For Alyssa. I understood that now.

If only I hadn’t been such a stubborn arse and refused to take her phone calls, I could have avoided all the twisting aches that had taken up a permanent home in my gut each time I even glanced at my king-sized bed.

As regret sank deep into me, I’d argued that we should find somewhere else to sleep—that she didn’t belong in the room filled with the ghosts of the past. Only, there weren’t many options. Either we had to squeeze into the double in the spare room with Phoebe or crash on the fold-out sofa in the other spare room. There wasn’t anywhere else. I’d relented to Alyssa’s need to sleep even though it made me feel like shit doing so.

Before Phoebe’s frightened cry had died away, Alyssa was already halfway out of bed.

I put my hand on her shoulder and stopped her. “Don’t. I’ll get her.”

“It’s my—”

Certain that her sentence was going to end with the word responsibility, I cut her off. After all, Phoebe was as much my responsibility as she was Alyssa’s.

“Lys, you’ve spent the better part of the day on the road.” Even as I said the words, I climbed out of bed.

“But—”

“And you’ve got up to her three times already,” I added as I walked to the door. The more we argued over who should go, the longer Phoebe’s sobs would continue. “Let me go.”

Right before I left the room, I turned to say to Alyssa that I’d have to get used to it anyway, but she was already lying back down and her eyes were closed. The rise and fall of her chest was too rhythmic for her to not be well on her way back to sleep.

Her exhaustion had to be almost complete, but I couldn’t blame her. I knew from experience how dreadful the almost twelve-hour drive was when it was vital to reach the end destination. She’d had a long couple of weeks. We all had.

So much had changed. There were things I’d learned that I’d never forget. People who’d become so important,

I’d discovered children I’d never thought I wanted. Experienced heartbreak I’d never anticipated. Phoebe had gained the father she’d always imagined. Alyssa had claimed her rightful place in my life and won my heart in return.

I couldn’t help feeling like she got the short end of the deal.

“Hey, princess,” I said to Phoebe as I walked into the spare room—the room that would be hers when they moved in permanently. “What’s up?”

I hoped I would be enough to quieten her fears on my own, but I was still a practical stranger really. The thought that I wouldn’t be enough for her terrified me, but it wasn’t enough to stop me from trying.

“D-Daddy?”

I sat on the edge of her bed and stifled a yawn. “Did you get scared again?”

She nodded, her loose brunette curls bouncing around her head. “I woked up and no one’s there.” She crossed her arms and pouted at me.

Through the darkness, I could see the accusation in her turquoise eyes. I reached out and cupped her face. “We’re here. Just up the hall, remember? Like I showed you before bed.”

“I don’t like this room.” Impossibly, her pout deepened. “It’s scary.”

“Why’s it scary?”

“It’s dark. And there’s monsters.”

“Where?”

She pointed to the window. “Out there.”

Following the line her finger made, I walked to window and made a show of peering out into the darkness. “There’s no monsters, just trees. Wanna come see?”

She shook her head and whimpered. “Scary.”

“It’s okay, no monsters will come near the window while I’m with you,” I promised. “You know how I know?”

The only response I got was another shake of her head.

“Because they wouldn’t dare mess with your daddy. Not in his castle.”

A glimmer of a smile crossed her lips but she still didn’t move.

I pretended to rub my chin in thought. “You know what? I think you’re right. I think this room is a little scary. But do you know what I think the problem is?”

“What?”

“The walls.” I ran my hand over the beige surface. It was the first time I’d really noticed that the house was just a building with my stuff in it. There was no personality. No
life.
Everything was architecturally designed and set up for maximum resale value. It was all without any of my influence and every wall was beige. Just like my life had been without Alyssa and Phoebe in it. “They’re not the right colour, are they?”

Phoebe shook her head.

“What colour would be the right one?”

“Umm, yellow?” When she said the word “yellow,” her mouth stuck on the
Y
to make it sound almost like an
L
. The sound made my heart skip a beat. She was too fucking cute.

I nodded. “Yellow could work.”

“Or purple?”

“Purple could work too. Maybe we can pick four colours and do one wall of each?”

She giggled. “Don’t be silly.”

“I’m not being silly.” I crossed back over and sat on the edge of the bed again. “This’ll be your room, so you get to choose whatever colour walls you want.”

A grin lit her features.

“But you have to be able to sleep in here, or it can’t be your room, can it? We’ll have to pick a different one.”

Her teeth captured her lip. “There’s none closer to Mummy.”