Deep Dark Mire (An FBI Romance Thriller ~ book four) (29 page)

Elizabeth came back into the room, her hair completely loose down her back. Dropping down on the bed she mimicked his position.

“I think we
’ll tell Desdemona that she can have the original back, since it’s really of no use to us. I’m going to call Ethan and clear it.”

Whitefox was still thinking about how her body looked in the mirror. Yeah, his brother was damn lucky. “Okay.”

She dialed his cell phone and he answered on the third ring, which was odd for him. “Wow getting slow in your old age, Cowboy?” she asked, laughing.

“I was
cuddling with our son, and didn’t know if you were going to insist on a raunchy round of phone sex, but it felt wrong with CJ in my arms.”

Elizabeth laughed. “I know that’s on your sexual bucket list, but I’m not alone and that
would dampen your enthusiasm.”

“Don’t let me stop you,” added Whitefox
, grinning. “Really I won’t say a damn word and my lips are sealed. I’ll just listen.”

Blackhawk laughed. “Maybe next time and since this isn't a sex call, then it’s business
. Or are you calling to kiss me goodnight.”

“
Little of both, honey.”

Ethan knew when she called him honey he wasn’t going to be entirely thrilled. “What did you do?”

“I kissed Callen again. He thought he could embarrass me in front of the owner of the bed and breakfast.”

“A kiss
, huh? What kind of kiss?” Ethan began picturing his brother completely freaked out over it.

“The kind you like and that lead to sex.” Now she was sticking her tongue out at
him.

“Was there sex involved?” he questioned.

“Ethan Jackson Blackhawk! You know I wouldn’t have sex with your brother,” she paused and grinned wickedly before continuing, “unless you were here to join us, because that’s high on your sexual bucket list.”

Both men got very quiet.
Whitefox turned bright red, which was an accomplishment since he was Native and tan.

Elizabeth started giggling
and changed the subject. “The reason I called was to tell you that we went over the journal and it’s pretty difficult to read. I think we should call Desdemona and give it back. It was her mother’s and she doesn’t really have anything of hers remaining.”

“How
generous of you, Elizabeth. I’m with you on whatever you decide and defer this one to you and Callen. Just don’t lose the copies; I doubt she’ll give us the book back to scan.”

“Are you okay, Cowboy?” she asked, thinking she upset him before.

Ethan was definitely distracted. Just the knowledge that she was kissing Callen, and then spilled that he was turned on by the idea of her having sex with his brother, drove him wild. He didn’t know how to respond, but it was making his body very hard and taut. Ethan was having visions of the sex that morning, and if she was home he would demand a repeat performance. Damn it, he wished he was there right now.

“Yeah baby, just a really long day. In fact a really long couple of days,” he lied, and knew she’d know the truth.
As a couple their big rule was to never lie to each other. In this case he knew his brother was right there and she’d forgive him.

“Okay Cowboy. I miss and love you a lot,” she said, giving him kisses into the phone. “I wish you were here.”

Ironically so did Callen.

And Ethan.

“Call me tomorrow morning. I love you both,” he said calmly, and then disconnected the call. He was too distracted by the need in his body to pull off being calm and relaxed Ethan.

Elizabeth shrugged. “Want me to call Desdemona?”

“Can you? I’m not ready for the emotional turmoil to start back up. I know I have to deal with her, but really it’s been a shitty three days.”

She patted his cheek. There was a knock on their door. “Chinese. Can you get it while I do the deed?” Elizabeth started dialing
her number. She knew the number by heart. After all, for about seven months, she’d called her friend. A very close friend, but now she didn’t know what to think of their friendship.

“Hello?” Desdemona knew who was calling and she was scared shitless. Yet there was no doubt that she needed to answer the call. It could be about her sister.

“Doctor Adare, it’s Director Blackhawk. We have your journal at the bed and breakfast. If you’d like to come by and get it, you’re welcome to it. I know it’s the last thing you have of your mother’s things. I assure you it was handled delicately. We can work off the scanned copies.”

“Thank you,” she said, softly. “Elizabeth,” she paused.

“The woman downstairs knows to send you up. We’re in the Rose suite.”

Elizabeth disconnected the call, unwilling to give the woman a chance to speak. She crossed the line
and said some vile things to her, and she wasn’t taking an apology over the phone. In her world if you screwed up like that, you manned up and did it face to face.

Whitefox pulled out the takeout containers and said nothing, and he couldn’t really blame
Elizabeth for the iciness. Desdemona had struck her hard enough to bruise her face. In their family, physical abuse wasn’t tolerated, and probably more so now that he’d told her his secret.

Elizabeth’s phone beeped and she read the display. It was a message from her husband.

“I want you so bad right now that it’s making me

           crazy. I can’t stop thinking about you

and this morning
. I wish I was there right

now for a repeat performance.
”

Elizabeth grinned at the message and replied.

“This morning was amazing. I can’t

  wait to see you again, Mr. Blackhawk
.”

Whitefox opened the wine and poured them each a glass. “Ethan?” he asked.

“Yeah, how did you know?”

He started laughing. “You had a big evil grin on your face. Which means it probably was him and of a sexual nature.” He handed her the wine and pulled out some chopsticks. “Want to tell me all about it? You know, as your best friend.” He wiggled his eyebrows lecherously and lounged beside her on the bed.

“You’re right on both counts. But you know I can’t tell you what he sa
id. If it’s sex related it’s private.”

“You tell him what happens between us. You kiss and tell all the time. Tonight is proof
of that.”

Elizabeth took a take-out container from him and laughed. “One, he’s my husband
and on the back of the marriage license it says that I’m required to tell him. Two, you and I aren’t having sex.”

Just the words tightened his body.

“How about this, Cal. I won’t tell him I kiss you if it freaks you out so much. What I will just say, thinking out loud to no one specifically, is that it doesn’t really make him angry at all. Trust me on that.”

He looked confused.

“Hint hint. Think bucket list.”

Callen
Whitefox thought about it and then got it. “Oh. Ohhhh, the bucket list.” Then, he thought more and flushed again. “I have a million questions, you know that, right?” he said, laughing.

She shook her head and dug a prawn out of her take out container. “Want a bite?” she offered, changing the subject.

“Absolutely.” He leaned forward and accepted the prawn, and stared into her eyes. He was about to say something to her about his bucket list, when there was a knock on the door. It probably saved him from uttering something completely idiotic and inappropriate.

Elizabeth grinned and planted a quick kiss on his lips. “Don’t eat all my prawns, or you
r beef is all mine!” Elizabeth slid out of bed. “If you think I’m kidding, try me.”

Elizabeth was grinning when she opened the door. When she saw it was Desdemona, she stopped
feeling so jovial and stepped back. “Come on in, Doctor Adare. I’ll get you the journal.”

She turned away from the woman, and watched her partner. His eyes were firmly rooted on her, and
Elizabeth knew he’d warn her if she tried to touch her.

Desdemona followed her in and took in the scene. Her fiancé was lounging shirtless on the bed
in his pajamas, holding a take-out container in one hand. On the bed stands were two glasses of wine and the room looked like it was being used by two lovers. She turned her head towards Elizabeth, and could see into the adjoining room. It was pristine, and their two suitcases were sitting on the bed.

“Here’s your book.” Elizabeth held it out for her.

“I’m sorry that I hit you,” she blurted out. “It was stupid and really horrible of me to do to you. Thank you for not punching me in the face, even though I deserved it.”

Elizabeth stared at her ME, and the woman she considered a friend. “Apology accepted.” She handed her the book and retreated to her side of the bed.

“Can we talk, Callen?” she asked, hoping to appeal to him. “Just the two of us?”

Elizabeth went to stand
back up and stopped when Whitefox put his hand on her arm. “Care to tell me what it’s about first?”

She couldn’t believe that he was going to make her have this conversation in front of her boss. “
I’d like to talk about us.”

Elizabeth leaned over and kissed his cheek. “I’m going to jump in the shower. You need to do this alone
, darlin’.”

There was
relief when Desdemona realized that at least her boss was going to cut her a break, despite what she pulled the last few days.

Elizabeth grabbed her wine and
escaped into the bathroom, locking the door and turning on the shower. Callen had to make his own decision without outside influence- although she’d support his choice either way.

T
his had to be his journey.

Callen stood and faced the woman who he once believed he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He had forgotten how small and almost childlike that she was standing beside him.

“How do I fix us?” she asked, completely willing to do what he asked. “I miss you, Callen.”

“Desi, you know that I care about you, but you were right. I don’t love you with all my heart. I was in love with the idea of us and finding someone to accept me and be mine.”

“I was drunk, stupid
, and didn’t mean anything I said.” Desdemona did mean everything she said, and she knew it, but she wanted him in her life. She didn’t want to end up alone in Cypress Grove without a family.

“I had time to think over the last three days, and I don’t think we should get married.”

“Yeah, I came looking for you the other day and you were gone. I wanted to apologize then, but you were off with her.” Desdemona felt her temper rising. Of course this was all going to come down to Elizabeth and her talking him out of them being a couple. Somehow she wasn’t surprised in the least that he was saying the words, but she had to believe it wasn’t his choice.

“I need to ask for the ring back. I want to return it to the set.
We rushed into it, and I was desperate to find someone to love me. This isn't working out.”

“Callen, I do love you,” she said, stepping closer. “I love you with all my heart,” and she put her hand on his chest and the other on his neck, pulling him down for a kiss.

It was slow, soft and full of all she felt for him. In bed they were explosive. They were full of passion, and she just wanted that back.

Callen accepted the kiss, and even tried to kiss her back
. Instead of emotion, he felt nothing. The kiss was completely void of any feeling. It was all gone, as if drained from his body by the events over the last seven months. He broke the kiss, and took her hand in his, sliding the ring from her finger.

“I’m sorry Desi, but it’s over
between us.”

Now the tears filled her eyes. “I never
really had a chance did I?” she asked. “Three days ago I should have known when you disappeared with her. You don’t love me because you’re in love with Elizabeth.”

“I won’t lie to you. Everything
that you just said is completely true.”

Desdemona wished he would have lied. “Give it back to your grandfather and thank him for me. I enjoyed the time it was mine.”

“I can’t. Timothy died three days ago. That’s where we were, and your right, we were together because we had a funeral to attend.”

“And you didn’t even tell me? What if I wanted to go and be by your side? Oh wait, that’s right. I don’t get to be by your side.
” Now the anger came with the hurt. “You already have your family and the woman you love. You broke my heart Callen. I hope you spend the rest of your life in the hell I’m living right now. It’s brutal to love someone that won’t ever love you back. Enjoy loneliness.”

Desdemona grabbed her mother’s journal and
raced from the bed and breakfast. Her heart was completely shattered. Even though she knew it was coming or at least she suspected it was, nothing prepared her for the cold stab of pain.