Deep (22 page)

“Liz?”

“Hmm?”

“This boyfriend position … it come with perks?”

“Maybe.”

“Do I get to sleep with you and shower with you?”

“Yes.”

He made a happy noise. “What about touching? Do I get to feel you up when I like?”

“Within reason.”

“Got to say, sweetheart, your body was always gorgeous. But it’s seriously off-the-fucking-charts beautiful right now.”

“Really?” I asked, raising my head to give him a curious look. “Mostly I just feel leaky and lumpy.”

A large hand cupped an ass cheek, rubbing. “Fuck no. You’re all soft curves and you’re carrying my baby. Never thought that’d be a big turn-on—never thought about it at all. But, sweetheart, it is.”

“Huh.”

“What else is involved in this boyfriend shit?” he asked, his voice rumbling through his chest and into my ear.

“‘This boyfriend shit’? Seriously?”

“Sorry. You know what I mean.” He gave me a squeeze. “What else? C’mon.”

“All right. Let me think.” I trailed my fingers through his beard, sliding them back and forth through the soft whiskers. I could lie on him all night, happily, listening to his heart beating strong and steady within his chest. Feel the rhythmic rise and fall of his ribs with each breath. To lie there and know that this special man was alive and chose to be with me, here, right now. That sounded just like heaven.

“You know, I’m really not sure myself,” I said in a quiet voice. “I’ve never had an official boyfriend before. But we have to be there for each other, and we have to talk. I don’t see how it could work any other way.”

“Hmm.”

“And obviously, we’d be exclusive.”

A grunt.

“If you decide it’s what you want, then we take it slow and figure it out as we go, I guess.”

“Yeah.” He rubbed the heel of his hand gently up and down my back, smoothing out the tension.

“Ben, I don’t want to take your freedom. I just want a place in your world. An important one.”

He craned his neck, tipping my chin up to make me look at him at the same time. “Sweetheart, you’ve been important since day one. Only girl I kept coming back to. Didn’t matter how far I ran, I couldn’t get you off my mind. Never been this way about another woman.”

“No?”

“No.”

Fingers rubbed at my neck, working out the kinks. Silence fell between us for a while.

“I want to be your boyfriend, Liz.”

I couldn’t have held back the smile if I’d tried. “I’d like that.”

He brushed the hair back from my face, gazing down at me. “Okay.”

“Okay.”

CHAPTER TEN

I slept well that night. Tattooed, bearded, bass-playing males easily outdid hotel pillows in terms of comfort. We slept in our underwear because of the whole taking it slow thing. I’d never spent the whole night with a man before, sexually active or no. But what could have been awkward, Ben made right. He fit himself into my life just like he belonged there.

My dreams were suitably pervy, though that was nothing new. The waking up with a man’s head between my thighs, however, was a rather dramatic and welcome change. A hot, wet tongue dragged through the lips of my sex, startling the hell out of me. My hips bucked, eyes were suddenly wide open.

“Ben. What are you doing?” I gasped, the brain still in sleep mode.

“Licking my girlfriend’s pussy,” he said. “Perks, remember?”

Hands held my legs spread open, fingers digging into the flesh of my thighs. Then he did it again, the licking thing. I groaned and twisted, trying to get away, but not really, because holy shit. Nirvana.

“Go you,” I happy-sighed.

The feeling of a man’s beard brushing against your private parts cannot be adequately explained in words. It’s a tactile delight. Soft and ticklish and amazing in all the ways. My muscles tensed, heels digging into the mattress. Where my panties had gotten to I had no idea. Nor any interest. What my boyfriend was up to, however, concerned me deeply. His tongue flicked back and forth over my clit, then his lips sucked at my labia. The man’s oral skills were off the chart. Such attention to detail. And the enthusiasm—the man was starving and I was his meal. I shoved my pussy into his face, needing and getting everything he was giving.

But the raw energy between my hips, low in my spine—there wasn’t enough me to contain it. The glorious sensation built and built, charging my whole being, lighting up my limbs. I came hard, calling his name. Pleasure tore me in two, my mind circling high. I was everything and nothing. Just floating around in the ether, enjoying the high.

But he wasn’t finished.

He climbed up my body, shoving his boxer briefs down with a hand. Once, twice, three times he pumped his hard cock, spilling his hot seed on my breasts and belly. His forehead pressed against mine, warm breath on my lips.

“Hey,” I mumbled, still trying to find my breath.

He kissed me, lips covering mine, tongue diving in. The rich taste filled my mouth as his fingers stroked over my belly, rubbing his cum into my skin.

“Morning,” he whispered, still suspended above me on one elbow. Those perfect cheekbones, the wet curves of his lips, called to my fingers. I could happily touch him all day.

“Ben.”

“Hmm?” Another kiss, this one softer, sweeter.

I lay beneath him, decimated. So many things I could say, that I wanted to say. But
slow
was the key word here. What he did to my heart and mind couldn’t be described. The way he filled my heart to overflowing scared the crap out of me. “Good morning.”

“No touching yourself,” he ordered in a low, gruff voice. “Getting you off is my job now. You need me, call. Get to you as soon as I can, okay?”

“Uh-huh.”

He kissed me some more, making my head spin. “Things moving slow enough for you?”

“Sure.”

He smiled, and good god, all I could do was stare. Had there ever been a more beautiful man in existence? I think not. His focus on me was complete, making for such a heady feeling. Dark eyes never strayed from my face, as if he was memorizing me.

“We’re doing good, Liz.” His hand covered my bump, lips brushing over my cheek.

“Yeah.” I had no words. Not when he was like this.

The edge of his lips picked up some. “C’mon. Shower time.”

*   *   *

I was still in the bathroom, fixing my hair and applying some concealer and mascara to up my glow factor, when I heard Ben and Sam chatting in the living room. No way did I mean to listen in. It just sort of happened.

“With Mal the way he is, the band’s already on tenterhooks,” said Ben. “I’m just not sure we should add her to the mix.”

Wait, were they talking about me? But I was basically already living and touring with everyone. That made no sense.

“I love Martha, but we all know what she’s like,” Ben continued.

“Things are more stable now. It might be good for her,” said Sam. “Besides, she’s not going to get her shit together out there on her own, acting like the party queen of New York and burning through money.”

“I don’t know.”

Sam made a
humph
sound. “She still makes the papers now and then. From a security perspective, it’d be easier having everyone in the same orbit, if not under one roof. News will hit about the pregnancies eventually. Be good to keep everyone close. That’s my only point.”

“Sure your concern about Martha isn’t more personal than that?”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about, Mr. Nicholson.”

I wandered in, curious, interrupting the very manly staring competition under way. “Hi, guys. Problem?”

Ben shook his head. “What are sisters for if not to fuck with your life now and then, right?”

“Just think about it.” Sam clapped him on the shoulder, heading for the door. “Later, Miss Rollins.”

“Bye.” I turned to my boyfriend, gave his T-shirt an affectionate tug, drawing him in closer for a kiss. “Anything we need to talk about?”

“No.” He gave me a gentle smile and an even gentler kiss. Followed by a hearty slap on the ass. “Go do your girl thing. I’m meeting Jim for a run.”

I made a swipe at his butt but missed by about a mile. “Yeah, you better run, buddy.”

He laughed all the way out the door. I held the dumb smile on my face for even longer.

*   *   *

“I guess you’re wondering why I called you all here today,” began Lena, a bottle of spring water balanced on her belly. Neat trick.

It was around midday. All four of us, Lena, Evelyn, Anne, and I, sat gathered in Lena and Jimmy’s luxurious suite, just hanging out. A range of swanky sandwiches, pastries, fruits, and cheeses were laid out on the coffee table before us. No cake pops, but there were macaroons and madeleines, which you have to admit are almost as good.

Ev wiped a stray bread crumb from the corner of her mouth. “I thought we were just having lunch.”

“She wouldn’t have made that announcement if we were just having lunch,” said Anne, stirring extra sugar into a cup of sweet tea.

“True.”

Lena sat in a damask lounge chair, peering out through her groovy horn-rim glasses at each of us in turn. The woman was a good month ahead of my sixteen weeks. God help me when I got that big. Ben could just roll me places.

Pregnancy. So not natural.

“No, we are not here just to eat,” she continued. “Though eat we will, and then some. What we are here to do is to meddle in Lizzy’s life, because we love and care for her. Also, because being on tour gets boring after a while so I figured what the hell.”

“Oh good.” I took another sip of my decaf—read warm, beige milk.

“Did you notice she has a hickey on her shoulder?” asked Ev, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Nothing to see here.” I pulled up my shirt collar. “Move along please.”

“She does seem especially glowy this morning.” Awesome. Even my own sister was getting in on the act. No loyalty.

“I noticed that.” Lena tugged at a stray thread on the hem of her maternity Stage Dive T-shirt. It had to be pirated, what with it proudly proclaiming in fancy lettering,
JIMMY FERRIS, I’D TAP THAT.
I couldn’t imagine the man ever okaying the design in this lifetime. “And get this. When Ben stopped by to grab Jim to go work out earlier, the bearded dude was one happy, happy boy.”

My brows descended. “No comment.”

“About time,” sighed Ev. “He’s been so damn grumpy lately.”

“Not anymore he isn’t. She’s got that boy walking on the sunshine.”

“Thinking she used pussy magic on him?” asked Ev, eyeing me up in a dreadfully lewd fashion.

“That’s my guess.”

“You’re not funny,” I said, mostly unsmiling. “Anne, make them stop.”

My sister tucked her bright-red hair neatly behind her ears and shook her head sadly. “Ah, hon. No can do. You’re part of Stage Dive family now. Inner circle and all that. Best get used to it.”

“Ben and I aren’t married. We’re not even together, exactly.”

“Expound on ‘exactly,’” said Anne, learning forward in her seat. “I haven’t heard what happened last night after you two left the party to go talk.”

“We talked. Nothing else to tell.” Nothing else I was prepared to tell. The many changes were still too fresh. I hadn’t quite turned all of the information over enough times in my head to make sense of it. Assuming I would in fact be able to make sense of it.

I was dubious.

My words were met with a chorus of boos and even some hissing. One individual who will remain unnamed (Lena) even went so far as to lob a Danish at my head. Pastries as projectiles … I never. Luckily I caught it before it could make contact. Cherry, yum.

“Okay, okay! Simmer down.” Good lawd, these ladies. And I use the term
ladies
loosely. “The truth is I don’t really know what’s going on with us.”

“Well, what do you think is going on with you two?” asked Anne, stealing half of my dessert. Girl was just lucky I loved her.

“Good question. Way I figure, there are several options.” I paused to nibble. Oh such golden buttery flaky evil goodness—my third for the day. Seemed my self-control had gone weak in all sorts of interesting areas. I’d better watch it or my ass would be twice the size of my belly. On the other hand, golden buttery flaky evil goodness made me so-o-o happy, and really, isn’t happiness what life is all about?

Bet they’d taste awesome with bacon on top.

“Continue,” said Ev, clapping her hands together in a queenly fashion. “Tell us everything.”

“Fine. One, I might be using him for sex,” I confessed, a pronouncement met by several oohs and ahhs, and several sly grins. “I can’t help it. The baby hormones have turned me into some sort of nympho and he’s so beautiful and hot and I would like to point out that he started it. I did not go after him this time. And honestly, you have no idea how good that beard feels. The sensation of all that silky, bristly hair rubbing against your inner thighs and—”

“Whoa!” Anne covered her ears. “Stop.”

“Sorry.”

“Man. Wish that whole nympho thing had happened to me,” said Lena. “I just got even more obsessed with pie. So unfair.”

“Hmm.”

“Lucky Jim’s a breast man. He’s like a kid at Christmas, playing with these cantaloupes. Can’t keep his hands off them.”

“They are damn impressive,” I said, wiping my hands on a napkin. “Mine are annoying the hell out of me. I don’t even usually bother with a bra, now that I suddenly have these apple-sized things hanging around. Not cool.”

“What’s option two in the you-and-Ben story?” asked Ev.

“Oh. Well, two, we might be going slow and trying to be boyfriend-girlfriend, but I don’t know. He has a bad habit of changing his mind when it comes to me.” I stared off into space, contemplating much but achieving little to no resolution. “Three, at the end of the day we’re going to be parents, and that has to come first, whatever happens. So obviously, by putting this at three, I’ve been listing things in ascending order or something. Anyway, if he smashes my heart to smithereens yet again, we might well have a problem. Therefore, my question—seeing as you’ve all insisted on coming this far with me—is should I even be attempting anything beyond friendship with this man?”