Deeper Than Need (6 page)

She kept staring at it and hoping she’d feel that little
click
again.

That odd affirmation that she was in the
right
place. That she’d come to the
right
place. That she’d left New York for the right reason.

This house. She was supposed to be here, right?

Yes, she was bleeding her savings account dry because of this place, but hey, her mother had left her that money; it was supposed to be
used
for something, right? Why not find a beautiful old home and fix it up? Make it beautiful again?

“Trust me to find the house that had a body buried under the floor,” she whispered.

Micah made a weird, snuffling sound deep in his sleep, his face pressed against her breast, as though he was trying to escape, even his dreams. She understood that desire.

Very much.

She’d felt the urge to hide against Noah and just never, ever let reality interfere when they’d been down in that dark hole of a pit. With a body lying a few feet away.

A body.

For pity’s sake.

Horror lurked just below the surface, but she was afraid to let it out. Screams threatened. There might even be tears, but she was afraid if she let herself start to scream, start to cry, she might never stop.

She had to hold it together, because Micah was already freaked out.

He’d been through so much already.

Mama … why are the cops here? Did Daddy do something wrong again?

Micah had whispered it against her neck when they’d come onto the porch as the police cars came spilling down the street. First one, then another, then another until their small street was crowded with six city police cars and an ambulance.

An ambulance …

She’d lied to him.

She didn’t know how to explain to him that there was a body down there.

Baby, we found something in the ground. They have to look at it and see what’s going on.

Maybe it wasn’t a complete lie, but she needed time to settle before she could tackle explaining that horror to her son.

“Hey.”

Startled, she jerked her head up and found herself staring into a pair of familiar green eyes. The woman in front of her was somebody she knew—Trinity had met her before. But …

“It’s Ali,” she offered, smiling. “Ali Holmes. I work at the pizzeria where you two eat on Thursdays.”

“Right.” Trinity nodded as memory came crashing back. Memory. Reality. She’d rather reality just take a nice long hike, but she was probably stuck with it. “Thursdays … kids’ night. Micah loves that place, especially the play area in the back.”

Ali smiled. “That was my addition to the place.”

“Your addition?” Working on autopilot, Trinity’s gaze returned to the house as she spoke.

“Yeah. My parents own the place, and when I graduated and started working there I told them it wouldn’t be a bad idea to have some place for kids to play. It made it nicer for families … and you don’t want to hear any of this right now.”

Wincing, Trinity looked back at her.

The woman’s face was full of sympathy and her eyes were kind. That kindness almost did Trinity in and the screams building inside her grew louder and louder—so desperate to break free. Clenching her jaw until she knew she could keep them silent, she said softly, “Right now, I don’t want to do anything but hide. That’s not much of an option, though, is it?”

“I guess not.” Ali moved over and settled against the truck cab, staring up at the house. “What about company? You want that or would you rather I just left you alone? Be honest. I don’t mind.”

A laugh hiccupped out of her. “Please. If you can tolerate the fact that I’m liable to spaz out at any given moment, please stay. I feel like I’m about to go into two thousand different pieces.”

Ali reached out and touched her arm. “Makes sense. I can’t say I understand how you feel.…” Then she grimaced. “Maybe I’m awful, because I don’t ever
want
to understand that. But I think you’re handling this a lot better than most would.”

Trinity closed her eyes. “I feel like I’m not handling it at all. I feel like I’m losing my mind. How is that handling anything?”

“Well, you’re still sitting here and carrying on a rational conversation.” Ali shrugged. “I’d probably be curled in the truck, doors locked, with a bottle of wine, sucking my thumb.”

“The only alcohol I have in the house right now is cooking wine.”

“Hey, whatever works.”

Despite herself, Trinity felt herself smiling.

*   *   *

The look in Trinity’s eyes just might break his heart.

It was something of a miracle that he even really noticed, and Noah wasn’t sure if he cared for it or not. He’d almost rather go back to that grey fog where he went through life
aware
of things, without them really cutting into him.

This … this
hurt.
He had this insane desire to just go to her, wrap her in his arms and promise her that things would be okay.

But what kind of promise was that? How could things be okay when she’d just fallen through rotten wood and found herself only feet away from a decayed corpse?

Right now, she eyed the house like it was a construct from her nightmares.

It probably was.

He was torn between going to her and standing there, dealing with his own nightmare.

Lana. Was it her? Had they finally found her?

It could be David. Diane. Even Peter Sutter.

Just trust me …

That look in her eyes when she’d reached up to touch his cheek.
Just promise me you won’t. Please. Don’t tell, Noah.

The way David had been watching her. David, so silent, almost eerie … and, once, violent.

Why had she been meeting him and why was it so crucial that Noah not tell anybody?

But there were no answers, and without them …

Closing his eyes, he shoved all of those unanswered questions aside. The discovery of that body in the cellar of the Frampton—no. They’d found the body in
Trinity
’s house and that discovery solved nothing, answered nothing. For all he knew, the only thing that would come of this was more questions.

Gravel crunched and he opened his eyes, watched as Detective Jeb Sims moved to stand in front of him. “You know, when I heard you were taking this job, I tried to warn you,” Jeb said.

Noah rolled his eyes and looked back at the house. “Since when were you into general contracting, Jeb? I thought law enforcement was your thing. Unless you’re giving up your badge?”

“You always were a smart-ass.” Jeb sighed, shook his head. “I knew this was going to happen, son. I knew it, and I tried to warn you, but you didn’t listen. Now here you are, standing there, looking like a man on the edge of a cliff. Doesn’t it get old, standing on that edge?”

Noah ran his tongue along the inside of his teeth, told himself to stay level. Going off on a cop never did anybody any good. Noah knew that from experience. Even if Jeb wasn’t a cop, he’d wrestled his temper under control a long time ago. After a few seconds had passed, Noah thought he’d have his voice steady, so he replied, “My balance is pretty decent, Jeb. But I appreciate the concern.”

“The last time you stood on the edge of a cliff, you didn’t balance. You fell. Hard. Just about killed your folks from the heartbreak, too.”

Fury rolled to a slow boil inside him as Noah closed the distance between them. He leaned in, staring the shorter man down. Jeb lifted his chin, but Noah just continued to stare. After a taut fifteen seconds passed, he said quietly, “I stand on the edge of a cliff every day I drag myself out of bed. I manage to get by just fine.”

Turning away, he went back to staring at the house.

“Are you going to keep on managing just fine if that body turns out to be Lana?”

“At least I’ll know.”

He crossed his arms over his chest.

Trust me.…

He blocked out the echo of the whisper as Jeb came around to stand in front of him.

“Son, you just keep fooling yourself with that lie if it helps you sleep at night.” Jeb sighed, a heavy, mournful sound.

Then he headed back toward the house, joining the cops who were standing on the porch, talking quietly. This was the second weird thing to happen in this town in just a matter of weeks. Just over a month ago, a car had been found in the river. And in the trunk the body of a woman had been found. Noah had heard about it, and although part of him knew it hadn’t been anything, he’d wondered. Waited … it had been the body of Nichole Bell, a mother who’d gone missing fifteen years ago.

Now they had another body. Instead of focusing on that, Jeb wanted to hassle Noah. For a long minute he eyed the cop’s back, and then Noah lifted his gaze upward. “I know I’m not supposed to dislike anybody, Lord. But that man gets on my very last nerve.”

Then he looked back at the house, that pit of hell. The source of so many nightmares. Jeb wanted him to regret taking this job? Yeah, Jeb could just take that idea and shove it.

Noah had been there when Trinity fell. She hadn’t been alone. The boy hadn’t gotten hurt. That mattered to Noah.

It was a weird thing to take comfort in. Noah didn’t mind it at all. The thought of somebody else being around to hold her while she shivered and tried not to let her boy see how afraid she was put dark and nasty hooks of jealousy inside Noah, tearing at his flesh.

Worse, though, was the idea of her going through it
alone.

It was a crazy thing, but having his arms around her was the one thing in his life that had actually felt
right
in a very long time. If only it had been under any other circumstances. Any other circumstances at all.

*   *   *

“Ali’s a nice lady,” Noah said as he pulled up in front of her house.

Trinity just continued to stroke Micah’s hair.

Noah cleared his throat. “She doesn’t mind at all you staying with her. If she didn’t want you here, she wouldn’t have offered. So don’t worry about that.”

Trinity laughed softly. “Right now, I’ve got bigger things to worry about. I was so stupidly grateful when she offered, I might have kissed her.”

“Okay.” He nodded, feeling awkward. Unsure. He’d felt like that ever since he’d gone into the house with her, carrying Micah’s quiet, sleeping form, so she could pack some clothes. “I just … okay. I want to make this better and I can’t. I can usually find words and I can’t. It bothers me.”

“You made it better just by being there.” In the darkness of the truck cab, she turned her head to look at him, a sad smile on her lips. “You can’t even know how much better you made it.”

Lo and behold, that little demon of temptation grabbed him by the throat. Before he could stop himself, he reached up, cupped her cheek. Her eyes widened in surprise, but she didn’t move away. If she’d done that, he could have wrestled everything inside him under control. He could have pulled his hand back, but instead she angled her head ever so slightly so that the silky skin of her cheek rubbed against his palm.

Now another urge warred inside him, the need to slide his hand around the back of her neck, pull her up against him and taste that mouth.

Idiot.
She’d been through what had to be one of the hardest days she’d ever faced, if not
the
hardest. The last thing she needed was to have him moving in on her.

Fumbling for those words that proved to be so elusive, he brushed his thumb down her skin just once. She was so soft. So soft. “It will be okay. Maybe not tonight, and maybe not for the next few days, but it will get better,” he said.

“I’ve been telling myself that for the past couple of years.” She dropped her head back against the seat. “You ever heard that saying about the light at the end of the tunnel?”

“Yeah.” He chuckled, but the sound was more tired than anything else. “It might be light. Or it could just be a train. I know that feeling, all too well.”

Silence lapsed and he went back to staring at the warm, welcoming lights of Ali’s place. Part of him wished he was a different kind of guy, the kind of guy who could move on what he felt inside, act on what he suspected Trinity felt, too. He’d seen that glint in her eyes, more than once.

If he could have just acted on that. Clenching his jaw, he shoved his head back into the headrest while a hundred
if onlys
ran through his mind.

Maybe if he wasn’t who he was, he could offer to let her and Micah stay with him. Neither of them would have to be alone that night. It didn’t even have to be about anything more than that.

Shoot, they could have used the pullout sofa in his living room and he would bunk on the chair. Nobody would have been alone with the thoughts in their heads.

But he was who he was. No escaping it. No changing it.

It was a bad, bad idea anyway.

Besides, Ali and Trinity seemed to be pretty friendly. Trinity definitely needed some place where she could relax, maybe let her guard down.…

She can do that with you.
He’d actually love to have her relax around him. Let her guard down. Lean against him, the soft rhythm of her breath warm against his chest. He could tangle his hand in her hair and just hold her. His chest ached just thinking about it.

“You sure you’re okay staying here?” The question slipped away from him before he could stop it.

She gave him a wan smile. “Yes. Ali was actually one of the first people I met when I moved here. And Micah likes her boys. He’ll do better having the distraction around. We’ll be fine.”

“Hopefully, it will just be a few days.”

From the back there was a sleepy little grumble and then a yawn. “Mama?”

She turned to look at him. “Hey, sleepyhead.”

“Where are we?”

She told him, and just like that the sleepiness was gone from the boy’s voice and he practically started to vibrate in his booster. “We’re staying here? Really?
Really?
”

Trinity slid Noah an amused glance and then she nodded. “Really.”

She had her hands full with Micah for the next few minutes. Once she had him out of the truck, she watched as he bolted up the sidewalk to meet the boys who came whooping out of the house. She didn’t move to follow. Instead, she turned to look at Noah, her eyes grim, her face tight. “Can I be really honest, Noah?”