Deeply Devoted (20 page)

This time Clara moved out of his embrace. “Because it’s the right thing to do, Mac. Let me ask you, have you ever been married?”

“What has that got to do with us?” He frowned.

“It has everything to do with us. I do feel a lot for you . . . I may be in love with you.” She made no move to leave the foyer but stood waiting for his response.

Mac sighed. “Clara, I was married years ago, but it didn’t work out. I do care for you, maybe more than I’ve ever cared for any woman.” His eyes softened and he took her hand. “I care for you a lot . . . a whole lot.”

Tears threatened when she didn’t hear what she longed for him to say. She chewed her bottom lip to keep from saying something that might push him away, and she didn’t want that. “But you don’t
love
me?” Her voice sounded flat and seemed to come from far away.

“I didn’t say that. What is love? I’m not sure if I know. I know that I love spending time with you even when we are at odds. You’re pretty and smart, and I enjoy your quick sense of humor.” He gave her his most endearing smile and tucked a loose curl behind her ear, then stroked her cheek with his thumb. “I think you’re special . . . very special. But I need time to figure this all out.”

She swallowed hard. Perhaps he was right. She wouldn’t want him to say he loved her just to make her happy, but oh, how she longed to hear it. “Meaning what, Mac?” Her voice trembled.

“I’m not really sure if I can be tied to one place. Many times I’m on the road and you would be left alone.”

Ah, so he
had
thought about marriage, if he was worried about her. She felt somewhat relieved. She would give him the freedom to choose.

Clara searched his handsome face. It would be easy for her to let him stay the night. No one would know, and she wanted to feel his arms wrapped around her. She mentally shook her head.

“Mac, I’m going to have to ask you to leave now.” She moved to open the door, but he brushed against her and she was filled with desire—something she’d felt only in the early days of her marriage. Right now she didn’t trust herself at all. This had gone too far.

“Please, Clara.” He stroked her arm. “Let me show you how you make me feel . . .”

She faced him and felt a poignant sadness. “Mac, there’s nothing more I’d like than to have you do that, but I just can’t.”

His face grew solemn. “All right. I’ll leave. Does this have something to do with my not going with you to church? If so, I promise to go with you. But I personally don’t need church.”

Clara blinked at him. She knew he had no clue. “That’s only part of it, Mac, and if I have to tell you the other part, well . . . I pity any man who thinks he doesn’t need God.” She felt tears threatening, but she fought them back.

Mac’s face looked like a thundercloud. “I’ll be back tomorrow to take you for a drive, and we’ll talk then.” He squeezed her hand, then slipped out the door, closing it behind him.

Clara leaned against the door, her hand against her mouth to try to hold back the sobs, but it was no use. How she wanted him. She loved just being in his presence. He was charming and delightful and made her feel so womanly and desirable. Hot tears flowed down her cheeks.
Oh, God, help me be strong.
She slid to the floor, her dress ballooning up around her in a heap and the corset cutting into her stomach, then yanked the jet earrings off and threw them across the hall.

First thing Monday morning, before Catharine finished washing the breakfast dishes, two hired men arrived with their plows to help Peter make a trench around the wheat field. Earlier, when she’d dug into the flour barrel, she squealed when she found grasshoppers, and everyone had come running. This was not a good sign, and she prayed the bait Peter was putting out today would be enough to kill the locust eggs in the fields. Today she would make certain the men had plenty of water to drink and a hearty lunch.

Anna bounced into the kitchen just as Catharine was finishing up. “I’ve been wondering, Cath. Could I help you make a cake for Greta’s birthday on Friday?”

“Of course you can. Maybe between the two of us it won’t be half bad.” Catharine smiled at her baby sister.

Anna giggled. “I think your cooking has improved. Since I don’t know the first thing about baking a cake, I figured I might as well learn, and now is as good a time as any to start.”

Catharine gave her a funny look. “Did I say anything about knowing
how
to make one? I’ll have to resort to a cookbook again.” She snapped her fingers. “I just had an idea! What about getting something from the bakery in town or getting Mario to make something special? His desserts are delicious.”

“Whatever you decide is fine with me, but if you do bake something, I want to help. I can’t think of a single thing for her present except . . . one of the puppies.” Anna picked up the dried glasses and carried them to the cupboard.

Catharine shook her head. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea. Peter’s already told you that you can only have one. Remember?”

Anna’s face fell. “I know, but I’m hoping he’ll change his mind. I think he really likes them, don’t you?”

“I really haven’t noticed, Anna. I’ve been too busy. In fact, I could use your help with making lunch for the men when they finish plowing.” She finished drying the last dish and laid the cloth aside.

“Where’s Greta? I thought she was helping. After all, I fed the livestock so Peter could get on with the plowing.”

“She’s doing some mending. It won’t take us long to make sandwiches for the men.”

“Do you mean right now?” Anna whined.

“
Nee.
I have to bake the bread first and I’m just about to shape the loaves now. The dough has been rising since dawn.” Catharine sighed.

“Cath, you look tired. Maybe I’ll stay and help with the bread.”

Catharine glanced over at her sister with fondness. “I’m fine. You’re free for a couple hours, but come back and we’ll make lunch. Was there something you wanted to do this morning?”

Anna shrugged. “I’m going to give the pups a good brushing. The little darlings’ fur mats easily, especially with this heat. If you’re sure . . .”

Catharine propped her hands on her hips, cocking her head to the side. “Would I lie to you?”

“I guess not.” She gave Catharine a quick squeeze. “I’ll be back soon to help.” In a flash she was out the door.

Catharine watched through the window as Anna hurried outside to the small pen that Peter had constructed for the pups after the last incident in the kitchen. How she envied that Anna hadn’t a care in the world. Part adolescent, part woman, she thought affectionately. It wouldn’t be long before she’d start noticing the opposite sex like Greta.
Heaven help me!
She guessed that was part of the reason Anna wanted to be certain the chores were divided equally. Just like a schoolgirl would think. Tit for tat.

She moved to the counter, quickly shaped the dough into four loaves, and slid them in the oven. She wiped her brow with the back of her hand and decided to work a little on the chair for Anna. It was too hot to stay inside, so she dragged the chair to the front porch, where the cottonwood tree shaded one end. While the bread baked, she went to work on the chair, removing the old fabric with an upholstery tool, humming cheerfully.

When the men returned from the field, Peter suggested they eat outside under the trees since they all were dirty. “We don’t want to track dirt in the house, and we won’t change clothes until we put the bait out.”

“
Goed
,” Catharine said. “I’m not interested in washing the floors today, and for certain it’s a bath you’ll be needing.” She held her nose between two fingers, then swatted him with her dish towel. Peter skipped sideways, pretending fear, and the other men laughed good-naturedly.

“You men wash up at the well. I left bars of soap and fresh towels there for each of you. We’ll bring your lunches out momentarily.” Catharine hurried back inside where Greta and Anna were slicing the bread and meat.

After everyone had their fill and heartily thanked Catharine and her sisters, they used rope to fasten their coveralls to the tops of their boots. “This will keep the poison from touching our skin,” Peter explained to the women. “The mix could easily burn us. That’s why I had you sew my pockets closed last night.”

“Yours is definitely not a job I want,” Greta said to Peter.

Catharine handed Peter a pair of soft cotton gloves, and after he’d put them on, he pulled on another pair, a leather gauntlet type. The other men followed suit.

“Catharine, we’ll mix the bait near the fields, then fill the plowed furrows with the bait to kill the hoppers. I suggest you ladies stay indoors for the next couple of hours. If the wind decides to kick up, I don’t want you ladies to breathe this stuff. Promise?” His unshaven face held concern.

“We promise, Peter.” Catharine bit her lip.

“My clothes will have to be washed, but I’ll do that myself.” He leaned over and kissed her head. “Don’t start fretting. We’ll be through before suppertime.” He turned to the others. “Ready?” They nodded and he said, “Then what are we waiting for? We’ll cover our faces right before we mix the bait.” The men climbed in the wagon and rumbled out of the yard.

Catharine stood watching until they were just a mere speck on the edge of the wheat fields. She silently prayed for Peter’s safety and for the wheat crop.

“Come on, Cath.” Greta took her hand. “Let’s go inside and take a break.”

“I know,” Anna said. “Why don’t we plan your birthday dinner?”

A big smile crossed Greta’s face. “I’m all for that. I’ll make us some tea.”

They crossed the yard to go inside the house. Catharine, for one, wanted to be out of the heat. She paused as they passed the yapping puppies and said, “You know, maybe we should bring them in. The cow and horses are protected in the barn in case the poison gets carried on the wind. It won’t hurt this one time for the puppies to come inside.”

That’s all it took for Anna’s face to light up. “Cath, you and I can carry them in while Greta makes the tea.”

“At least they can entertain us while we stay indoors. I’m glad Peter told me not to wash clothes today.” Catharine was glad to go sit in the living room and prop her feet up on the footstool. She’d been up before dawn and suddenly realized how tired she was. One of the puppies curled up in her lap, and she and Anna dozed until Greta returned with the tea. She poured the fresh brew into Catharine’s favorite Blue Willow teacups.

“Anna, you need to give these puppies proper names so they can get used to coming when they’re called.” Catharine picked the puppy up from her lap and kissed its little head, then put him on the floor. “They are so adorable and soft.”

“Do you think that’s a good idea, since I won’t be able to keep them?” Anna asked.

“Mmm . . . I don’t think it would hurt.”

Greta sat next to Anna. “I like the name Sugar for this one. She’s my favorite.” She bent down to pat the puppy on the head, and the pup settled down next to her feet.

“This one is the cutest and the smallest, so I’ll call her Baby,” Anna said, holding the pup in her arm. “And this one”—she pointed to the fireplace where another puppy had plopped down—“I’ll call Prince.” Anna looked over at her sister. “So . . . Catharine, what will you name your favorite?”

“Let’s see . . . how about Ginger because of her mixed coloring? What do you think?”

“It’s perfect, but you better not get too attached, Sis.” Greta took a sip of her tea. “You know how strict Peter can be sometimes.”

Catharine laughed. “But I know his soft spots.”

Greta raised an eyebrow. “I’ll bet you do,” she said with a knowing look.

A loud knocking at the door interrupted their dog-naming session. Catharine jerked up, hoping there wasn’t a problem in the wheat field. She moved to rise from her chair, but Anna was quicker.

“I’ll get it!” Anna hurried to the door as Catharine watched. “Bryan. Was Greta expecting you?”

The handsome soldier took his hat off and stood waiting at the door. “No, but I was out on patrol and my shift just ended, so I thought I’d drop by for a few minutes, if that’s all right.”

“I—” Anna stammered.

“Bryan! What a nice surprise,” Greta exclaimed. “For heaven’s sake, Anna, let the man come in.”

Anna threw the door wide open, and he nodded a thank you to her. “I hope I’m not interrupting or keeping you from anything.”

“No, we’re all in the living room having tea. It’s been a busy day around here. I’ll have to fill you in.” Greta handed his hat to Anna to hang up, then hooked her arm through his. “Come and join us.” She led him to the living room with Anna close behind, and the puppies came racing toward him. “What have we here? Not one but four puppies.” He smiled down at them.

“Look who’s here, Catharine.” Greta propelled Bryan directly in front of her, and Catharine couldn’t help but notice a tinge of flush that crept down Bryan’s face to where the top of his double-breasted uniform met his neck.

“Hello, Bryan. So nice of you to stop by. Will you have some tea with us?”

“Don’t mind if I do. I can’t stay long,” he said, turning to Greta.

“Anna, we need another cup, if you wouldn’t mind fetching one.” Catharine looked at Bryan and felt she had to explain. “I’m sorry. I don’t own the full set but still enjoy using it.”

“Oh, a mug will work just fine. I’m not particular.” He bent down and inspected the tea set. “Very pretty. I can see why you’re fond of it.”

“It’s the last of our mother’s china, and Catharine always fancied the Blue Willow. An unfortunate storm at sea broke all but these pieces,” Greta said.

“Have a seat, Bryan, and make yourself comfortable.” Catharine was glad that he’d finally come to call on Greta in the proper way. She could tell that her sister was in love with Bryan by the way she gazed dreamily at him and by the blush on her cheeks. He seemed to be smitten by her as well.
Maybe this will all work out. I’m glad I had that talk with her.

The puppies gathered at Bryan’s feet and yanked on his pant leg. When he shook his leg to shoo them away, they seemed even more determined. He laughed at their antics until Greta took control and made them settle down.

Anna returned with a mug and Greta filled it with tea. Bryan took a sip, gazing at Greta over the mug’s rim. “I’m more of a coffee drinker, but I think I like your tea.”

“Thank you.” Catharine set her cup down. “We were about to plan Greta’s eighteenth birthday party for this Friday. Perhaps you’d like to come too.”

“That all depends on the army, I’m afraid, but I’d like to.” When he smiled, his teeth shone white.

“Maybe we can make sure it’s when you’re free then,” Greta piped up, glancing over at Catharine for approval.