Defenseless (24 page)

His head dips down and he bites my nipple through my bikini. I bite my lip to keep quiet as he does it again.

My fingers slip under the water to untie his bathing suit. Thank god for board shorts. I slip them off. Mark pushes my suit to the side. He slowly pushes himself inside me and moves deeper. “Fuck me, Charlie. Ride my dick.”

I use the buoyancy of the water to rock easier. He holds my ass in his hands and helps control it. “You feel so good,” I say against his lips.

“You feel incredible. You’re gonna be the death of me like this. Your tits bouncing in the water. Your pussy gripping my dick. I’ll die a thousand deaths if this is how I go.”

His fingers dig into the flesh of my thighs as I push faster. My climax is looming, and I can’t hold off. I use my hips to rub my clit against him. He supports my back, and my hair dips into the water when I tilt back so he hits the spot. “I’m gonna come.” I say. I’m out of breath and ready to explode.

Mark pulls my hair as he sucks on the spot right below my ear, and I fall apart. Everything goes bright while my muscles clench. I fall as he pumps his hips and draws my orgasm even longer. “Fuck,” Mark groans against my neck as he follows me.

We stay like this, entangled in each other’s arms as we both catch our breath.

“My name is Charisma,” I announce without thinking.

Mark pulls back and his eyes flash. “Really?”

“Yes,” I say, and I feel a little self-conscious about the disclosure. I hate the damn name, but now he knows. “So, now you know.”

“It fits you, beautiful. It fits you, and you fit me. I’ll never betray you, Charisma.”

A part of me is now his. A part of me I’ve never given to anyone. It shows me just how deep I really am. “I hope not.” Little does he know I’ve already done so by texting Mandi.

Mark laughs as he starts to slide out of me, and for once, this secret is killing me. I’ve been lying to him for a week. This is my thing. I’m a liar, but I can’t keep doing this. He’s broken me.

“I texted Mandi,” I blurt it out and his eyes close.

“You did what?”

“She can help.”

He huffs and turns away. “I can’t even look at you. How could you do this? How could you text her?” Mark spins back to glare at me, and he’s screaming. “Do you want to get killed? Do you need me to lose my fucking mind because something happens to you?”

I’ve never seen him like this. It’s as if I just destroyed him.

“Goddammit, Charlie! Did you think I was lying to you? That I was making this shit up for fun? The CIA is behind what happened to you.” He steps close. Every emotion plays across his face. He’s angry, that’s clear, but more than that . . . he’s hurt. “I can’t believe you.”

I need to explain this, because it makes sense. “Look, Mandi isn’t behind this. She would’ve never responded on that phone. There’s a bond between a handler and an operative. Something similar to what you and Jackson have! Why can’t you trust that I know what I’m doing?”

“Because you’re fucking blind!” Mark adjusts himself and stalks off. “You know, I thought we were finally past all this. I thought we were a team. It changed for us that night. I saw it in your eyes, but then you ask me, I say no, and you do it anyway? Fuck you!”

“No, fuck you!”

“Pretty sure you just fucked us both, babe.” My anger boils.

“Did you hit your head? Eat lead paint off the crib?” I ask with sarcasm laced through my words. “You keep putting your foot in your mouth.”

He runs his hands down his face. “You confuse the shit out of me!”

“And you piss me off!”

“Right back at you, babe!”

I start to head out of the water. I’m not about to let him scream at me. His hand grips my shoulder and he turns me. “You’re leaving?”

“I’m done arguing with you. I’m not going to justify myself. I’ve been doing this a long time. I know you feel one way, but I disagree.”

“You disagree?” he scoffs. “You disagree that you were drugged in DC at a function? Or maybe that
only
you were targeted? That the waiter doesn’t exist on any paperwork, and the other waiter who was supposed to attend is nowhere to be found? I’m not making any of this up! I’ve been investigating it, and all roads lead to one place.”

My mouth falls slightly agape. Okay, but that proves nothing. “And you think Mandi is involved?”

Mark groans and lifts his gaze skyward. “I think every person in your agency from your handler to your boss is a suspect. I’m pretty sure your brain is working overtime here, but you’re so stubborn you refuse to admit that you betrayed me.
Me!
The person who has been nothing but honest with you. Take all the other bullshit aside and see what you’ve done to me.”

“Do you think I want this right now? No! I don’t!” I inform him. “I don’t want anything to happen to either of us. But you’re out of your damn mind if you think I entered this carelessly. You dragged me on a plane to California to prove that Jackson was loyal.”

His jaw clenches. Fury radiates from him. “You—” He stops. “I—” He stops again.

“Sucks not being in control for once, huh?”

He steps forward but stops when we’re eye to eye. I wait for his typical mode of shutting me up, but he stands here. His nostrils flare and a storm rages in his eyes. I can see how angry he is.

“This isn’t about control. This is about you and me. This is about you going behind my back for how long? How many other times have you lied to me?”

I open my mouth to speak but close it before I say something I can’t take back.

“How many times have you told me something but it was just some twisted version of your truth?”

“Are you serious right now? I’ve been honest with you.”

“How many?” he yells.

I glare at him, ready to rip his throat out. “So much for not betraying me. You stupid idiot! I trusted you. I gave you something no one else has ever had. I gave you my name! If that isn’t a sign of how much I trusted you, I don’t know what is. Then, you treat me like I’ve been lying about everything? Fuck you!” Instead of allowing him to answer, I turn and leave him standing there.

“Don’t walk away from me!” he yells.

Instead of responding, I lift my middle finger in the air and head out of the water.

Once I reach the shoreline, I turn back. He hasn’t followed. No, Mark turned away, faced the vast ocean, and let me go. It hurts me, more than I care to admit. Knowing that he’s so upset—so ridiculous about me doing my job—breaks me apart.

I won’t let him hurt me. I won’t allow anyone to tear me down until I’m one of those girls. He won’t penetrate the remainder of my heart. Except . . . he already has. If he hadn’t, I wouldn’t be this distraught.

When I bend down to grab my clothes, a tear falls. I hate that he’s now made me cry twice. No more. I wrap a towel around my wet body and trudge back to his house without looking back.

I check my phone and notice a new text.

Mandi: You need to come back to DC. I have something. Text me when you are in a safe place.

I call a cab, pack the rest of my things, and wait. He doesn’t return before I’m done, thank God, but that also says it all. If I were worth anything, he’d have followed. I thought things were different between us. I truly thought he loved me. Steel cages surround me and protect me from the pain. I won’t allow myself to feel it. Instead, I focus on what’s in store for me. I have a man to hunt down, and by doing so, I’ll hopefully save Mark. That can be my parting gift to him.

The driver grabs my bag and tosses it in the trunk. I open the back door and gaze out at the water once more.

“Good-bye, Mark.” I blow a kiss toward the water.

It’s time to go home and get back to work.

Mark

O
f all the stupid, irresponsible shit she could’ve done, this takes the cake. To go to the one person I told her could be behind this is unbelievable. My anger toward her is beyond anything I’ve ever felt before.

Then she has the balls to tell me I’m wrong, and of course, she told me her name without me asking.
Fuck
. If she only knew how close I was to telling her the three little words I never thought I’d say. She’d never believe me, because even I don’t understand it. It’s too soon, she’s too frustrating, and we can barely tolerate each other.

I could almost get past even that. I should’ve known Charlie would go behind my back. It’s my job to protect her, and then she destroys any chance of that. She’s like a fucking maniac. Her mind never stops. She thinks she has it all figured out, even when half the time she doesn’t. She pushes me, and I shove her right back through the wall she erected.

I stand in the water, trying to piece together all the shit that keeps going on between us and the damn job. It’s a wonder I haven’t lost my mind already. Friends dead, friends shot, friends abducted—and then, of course, I’ve been messed up. Not to the extent of those bastards, but I had dark times.

How the hell does a woman like Charlie make her way into my world, and why do I let her? This is the woman who apparently is aware we were all supposed to die. She kept my friend hostage. She lies all the time, about everything, yet I love her—a lot. I need therapy.

After a while, I start to get cold. I make my way back to the shore and notice she’s gone. Of course she is. She wasn’t happy about being in the water to begin with. It’s fine. I’ll just try to thaw her frozen heart when I get to the house. I continue my trek and hear someone call my name.

“Mark!” I turn as my brother Garrett jogs over.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

He’s never out this way. Annika, his girlfriend, lives fifteen minutes from me, but I can count on one hand how many times he’s dropped by.

“I stopped up at the house. No one answered so I figured you were at the beach. Catch any waves?”

We both look at the water where the waves are calm and crap for surfing. “Umm, no.”

He lets out a low laugh. “How’ve you been?”

“Good,” I answer apprehensively. I’m not really sure what the hell the point of him being here is. “What’s up?”

Garrett rolls his head to the side and then releases a deep sigh. “I’ve been thinking about my life. Things obviously sucked in New York. I never should’ve married Emily, but I thought she was the one.”

“I hated her.”

“You hate everyone.”

“This is true.”

We both laugh. “Anyway, when I moved down here, I thought things would be different. I love where I work. Annika is great. But Erik mentioned he talked to you, then Mom asked me this morning why we don’t talk.”

“Doesn’t she always?” This doesn’t really surprise me. Mom learned early on I wasn’t a big sharer. She’s the world’s nosiest person, which means she has the world’s biggest mouth—my brother—to tell her what she needs to know. I didn’t realize my brother was a traitor, so I told him a lot, which meant my mom knew I had porn in my closet. That was the day Garrett got cut off. Don’t fuck with a man’s porn.

“Yeah, but she knows you and I don’t talk like that.”

“Your doing.”

He huffs. “I think you remember shit a little differently.”

I look over at the house thinking now isn’t really the perfect time to get into this with him, but at the same time, Garrett doesn’t usually come down for a heart to heart. “I’m not trying to cut you off, but what did you come here for? Not that I don’t want to see you, I’m just curious.”

Garrett sits in the sand. So much for trying to talk through this mess with Charlie. “I want to know why we’re like this. What the hell did I ever do to you?”

“You got my Playboy mags taken.”

He looks at me as if I sprouted a second head. “Are you serious?”

“Dude, I had Pamela Anderson’s tits in my face to look at. Then you went and told Mom about it, and I had to try to remember it.”

“You’re fucking kidding me.”

“Did you or did you not tell her?”

Garrett shakes his head. “I was eight! She offered me cookies to tell where you kept your magazines.”

“Traitor.”

“You broke my bike that day. I think that was payback.”

“Pffft,” I roll my eyes. “Tits or a bike?”

“This is the most insane conversation I’ve ever had.”

I slap him on the back. “That’s because you’re a pussy and have pussy friends. You prefer a bike over some fun bags. But seriously, it’s more than that. We just were never close. I don’t know if it’s because we have a few years difference or you were smarter than me and would rather study. I was more focused on ways to convince Claire Attar to suck my dick.”

“She never did.”

“No, but she let me touch her tits once.”

He laughs and smacks my chest. “She let me, too.”

“God, she was a slut.”

“Yup.” Garrett stands and brushes the sand off. “Let’s do this again. Maybe with less shit between us.”

I get to my feet and extend my hand. “Say you’re sorry and that you’ll replace my porn.”

Garrett laughs. “I’m pretty sure Mom smoked weed around you. There’s no other explanation.”

I shrug. “Do we have a deal?”

“Fine, Mark. I’ll give you twenty bucks to replace the porn I apparently cost you.”

“Good. Nice to have you back in the family. Now, I have a sexy woman waiting for me, and I can only imagine how hostile she’s gonna be. It’s been nice chatting, but I’m going for round two today.”