Defying Fate (10 page)

I LISTENED TO BRAXTON
talk to Kara for over twenty long minutes. He wanted to know all about Dominic; the dick. It was a long and very sordid story. Kara has been my best friend since junior high where we had hit if off instantly. She had my back, and I had hers.

I remember that day when the ‘popular’ clique of girls was talking smack about me; I was an easy shot for them. I never talked back; I just went along with my day like they did not exist. It was hard, and I usually hid in the bathroom crying and shit. One day in particular it was bad. I had attended a party the night before with some friends of mine. A very popular kid in our class was eyeing me, and I’d noticed he’d been watching me at school for some time. I didn’t hide the way I would watch him. He was hot and like most of the girls in school, he knew he was admired.

At times, he would say ‘hi’ to me in the halls, I melted each and every time. I was stupid not to notice that it was always when none of the popular girls were around, he made sure of it. I never noticed it then; my only thought was he was acknowledging me. Little ole me, I was lucky.

Lucky I found myself at that party. Erik was there and asked me to dance. His buddies were there and some of the popular girls as well. I was floored he asked me to dance in front of them, but I was not going to pass this chance up. No way.

We were slow dancing. While most eyes were on us, he leaned in and kissed me. Lost in his touch and his arms, I was on cloud nine. I never kissed with tongue before, so, the French kiss was all new to me. My friends told me how to do it. They would show me in the mirror how to swirl my tongue around. Yeah, I could do this.

His kiss was soft and when I felt his tongue slide across my lips I opened them and invited him in. Nervously, I swirled my tongue with his. I was nervous, so I was tentative at first. He gently told me to relax. I was a goner. Yep, Erik Landz had me hook, line and sinker. The night ended with him getting my number, and I was on top of the freaking world; little did I know that would end the next day at school.

Going to school the next day, I was nervous but excited to see him. Since he kissed me the night before and asked for my number, I assumed he liked me, and I was his girlfriend. Walking the halls, I got nervous rounding the corner to our lockers. His was down the row from mine. The minute I rounded the corner, there he was. All blonde; preppy dressed Erik is leaning against his locker. He had Amber the bitch from hell and some other girls around him. I looked down and went to my locker. The giggles and the ‘Oh my God’ were all I could hear. I never looked their way. Getting my stuff for my first class, I was about to close my locker when the girls were walking by me.

Amber the bitch, she walked up to me and flat out asked me where I learned to kiss. Seriously, she flat out asked me that. She laughed, and the other’s then followed her lead.

“Oh my God, Erik just told us you have no clue how to French kiss. How embarrassing. He is so disgusted he put his lips on you, he had to bleach out his mouth when he got home. You’re pathetic, maybe you should take lessons Izzy.” Saying my name, she let it linger; yep, pretty pathetic.

The day passed with the whole school hearing about this, and I was pretty much the laughing clown for the day. After the fifth period, I ran to the restroom and threw up. Disgusted and sickened, I wanted to run the fuck away. A girl came into the bathroom and banged on my stall door. Shocked and scared, I thought she was going to make fun of me as well. She didn’t, and she looked at me with such a pissed off look. She told me that she had heard it was Jason, Erik’s best friend who had made fun of him all night after our kiss; he made this shit up so Erik would not be associated with me.

Before going home two things happened; one; Amber got a fat lip, all courtesy of my new friend Kara. Secondly, Erik and Jason got an earful. Poor Eric got his ass handed to him in front of his buddies. She called him out on liking me, but did not have the balls to stand up to his friends. I had to hand it to her; she had me convinced before the day ended. The newest gossip was Amber’s fat lip, and Eric is acting like a dick.

That day forward she was my best friend, till this day. I started hanging with her all the time and spent a lot of time around her house. I met her brother Dominic a few times, each time he spent more and more time watching me and talking to me. He was older and off in college when we were in just the 9th grade.

I’ll never forget that one night at her house when Dominic’s girlfriend had gone home early. He was hanging out with us in the kitchen and was spending a lot of time next to me. He made me nervous; he was tall, dark and handsome. He dated the popular girls; they flocked to him.

Even in college, he dated girls in high school. They loved dating an older guy, and he liked to dominate the younger girls, I fully understand that now. That night we spent watching a movie when Kara decided to go to her room and talk to her boyfriend. Dominic told me to stay with him and keep him company while his sister spoke to Chris. Kara dated Chris off and on, tonight they were on.

We laughed, and he kept sliding closer to me on the couch. Having his arm across the back of the sofa, he would slide his fingers across my shoulder, back and forth. Talk about nervous; I was deathly scared. First I had some 9th-grade dick tell the school I couldn’t French kiss, but now I had a college guy hitting on me.

He ended up walking me to his room; I had no clue what I was doing. He sat on his bed, and I sat next to him with one leg on the floor. My leg is shaking so badly, it was jumping up and down. Dominic kept telling me to not be nervous while he kept running his hands up and down my leg.

The next thing I know I am naked and under him in, like, minutes. Hell, I am not even sure how the fuck it happened. To this day, it is a blur. I was naked in bed with a college guy who had plenty of experience, while here I am, a virgin who can’t French kiss.

After that night, I not only knew how to ‘French kiss’ and very well, according to Dominic but I was no longer a virgin. The guy dominated me; he was gentle though, and I survived. That was the only thing on my mind. I could not live with the embarrassment of being awful with him too.

Dominic finished and cuddled with me for some time. He was attentive and friendly. He knew it was my first time; it had to have been obvious. I knew he had a girlfriend, and I was just easy prey.

The next morning I saw him. I’d left him the night before as he was drifting off to sleep. I was in the kitchen with Kara; she laughed and thought it was funny. Her brother was a man whore, her words not mine. I was nervous to see him, would he make fun of me, would he be nice to me or would he ignore me. All variations of the questions that had me up all night; trying to figure out what would play out.

Not having to wait long; in strolls a sleepy Dominic. No shirt, just black board shorts. Damn he had a beautiful body, and I had that for my first time. Maybe I was lucky after all.

He noticed me and smiled. Walking over to me, he ran his hands up my legs and stepped in for a kiss. It was brief, it was soft, and it was nice. I smiled and blushed red as a tomato; I know this because I could feel my face. It was on fire, my hands were sweating.

While he’s looking at me, he acknowledges his sister with a ‘hi’ and grabs water and leaves the room. That’s it; no other words said. He goes back to his room, and I am shocked. What the hell is with that? He walks back in, smiles and kisses me. I look at Kara, and she shrugs her shoulders before making us pancakes.

An hour later we are laughing in the living room when Dominic’s girlfriend strolls in. She walks right in, smirking at us and proceeds to his bedroom. I freeze; frozen in my chair, and I had to look as pale as a ghost. What the fuck?

Kara laughs so hard that she doubles over before falling out of her chair.

“Bitch doesn’t know his dick was up in my friend last night. Let’s hope he takes a shower before she blows him.”

I choke, did she seriously just say that. Shrugging her shoulders again, I melt into my chair. I needed to get home and like fast.

I did not see Dominic again for a month or so, but the next time he is not dating anyone. He sees me and lights out; I don’t fight him, I go willingly. That is how it all started. Like all new things, it was good, no scratch that. That was awesome.

Kara warned me that Dominic was into some wild things, and I should be careful, but it was casual, and it was fun while it lasted. I never took it too seriously; he was good for my ego. I went from being a girl laughed at because she could not kiss right to being laid the next, by a hot looking college guy. Not bad for a girl, if I say so myself.

The next couple of years is much the same, I saw him whenever and when I did; he took what he wanted. It did not matter. If I was dating someone or not, he wanted me, so he had me.

Like most things in life, all good things come to an end. My personal favorite, the old saying ‘if it’s too good to be true’ yeah, that one should have been a big red flag for me. But no, common sense did not come into play when it came to Dominic.

I learned over time in the years to come that Dominic was seriously into some dark shit. He was involved with a local gang, and it was his way or the highway. I tried to take the highway, but the funny thing is, there was no escaping him. Dominic possessed what he wanted, and it would be his decision to end things if he wanted. I wanted to stop things, but he did not feel the same. I was to obey, to submit; to give it all to him.

I never realized he was grooming me. He took a young naive girl and shaped her into a person she hardly recognized. My once hot hookup saw me as nothing but a warm body for him to abuse how he saw fit.

Izzy no longer existed; the only thing, that remained, was a shell of a girl I used to be. Kara knew enough to keep her shit intact; she knew what would happen to me if she didn’t. It came to a point where Kara and Dominic were like strangers to each other. She hated him and wanted me to be free of him, but she also knew there was not a fucking thing she could do about it. It killed her, and her guilt over how we hooked up that night years before, was my death sentence.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me...yeah, that should be Dominic’s motto. I learned more than I wanted from him, escaping him, took me a long time of waiting for just the right moment. I found my chance, and I took it. Leaving everything all behind, my family, who had grown to hate me over some bullshit, was the least of my concerns. Being the family disappointment was one thing, but dying at the hands of Dominic was a whole lot worse. He was the monster I needed to get away from. I could never go far enough, but Seattle seemed like an excellent start.

One night, I did something unspeakable; I took off. With Kara’s help I did it; I took control for once and ran.

WAKING UP, I EXPECTED
to find a sexy body next to me, but instead my hand felt around and there was nothing but a cold bed. My hand kept reaching and feeling out for a hand, a leg but nothing. Just my luck; sitting up wiping the sleep from my eyes, I look around and moan in frustration. Reliving our conversation, last night has left me feeling bare. I did not hold anything back from him either, at least not before I couldn’t take anymore and I nodded off to sleep. I vaguely remember him holding me as we talked about Kara, but mostly it has been about Dominic. Dominic this and Dominic that. I did, however, keep one secret from him; it was just too personal, and I still haven’t fully recovered from it myself. When and if he ever finds out, he would need to understand my feelings.

Shivers run down my spine just thinking about my past. To think I was telling my worst nightmare stories to Braxton, it makes me sick to my stomach. A man I just met; a man I like; a man I am trying to impress. Ugh; why can’t I ever learn just to shut my mouth? My mind is still somewhat foggy, as I’m not sure how much I’ve even said to him about that sick bastard. Rubbing my forehead in disgust, it most likely is the reason he is not in bed with me this morning. There’s nothing like running him off, Iz; great. What a way to have him running for the hills, and then to tell him about your sordid past.

Showering and dressed for the day, I am cleaning when a soft knock at my door catches my attention. Opening it, I see the sweet little face I have grown to love, Eve dressed like a biker chick; she is going to grow up to be one I am confident about that. She has on a t-shirt, jeans and knee high flat black boots. The girl is so damn cute, going to be a knockout when she is older. The thought of Braxton keeping the boys away brings a smile to my face. Looking at her it is easy to see her mother; she looks a lot like her, her blonde hair with long natural curls. Eve is tall and slender for a young girl; she is beautiful, stunning even. To make her even more likable, she is sweet as sugar.

“Hey honey, what are you doing looking so cute today?” I can’t hide my smile from her; she just brightens up my damn day. Not something she gets from her mother, yep, she definitely got it all from her dad. Dimples and all; boy oh boy.