Carter’s head snapped back. “You had me investigated?”
Her eyes flashed to his. “It was my mother who had you investigated. Apparently her suspicions were warranted.”
“You really think that I’m somehow connected to this Collins guy?” Carter closed his eyes and ran a hand down his face. He could not believe this. “Do you think this has all been some kind of elaborate scheme? You think these past three weeks have been a lie?”
She pressed her lips together, shook her head. She glanced up at him, but quickly averted her gaze.
“I don’t know what to think anymore, Carter. The one thing I
do
know is that three weeks ago I had no idea who you were, and you supposedly had no knowledge of me, either.”
“I
didn’t
know you,” he said. “Sure, I knew of your family—who in Chicago hasn’t heard of Hawthorne-Hayes Jewelers? But it wasn’t until our picture turned up in the paper following our first date that I discovered
you
were a Hawthorne-Hayes.”
When she looked up at him, her big brown eyes were filled with accusation. “Did that episode occur by chance, or did the photographer get a tip that we would be at the restaurant?”
Carter’s eyes widened. “Are you kidding me?”
“It wouldn’t be the first time that I’ve had something like that happen. I’ve learned over the years that the people you think you know well can turn out to be the most unscrupulous.” She shook her head. “The fact is, Carter, despite the time we’ve spent together, I really don’t know you all that well.”
Carter looked around, pretty sure he was being
Punk’d.
He returned his attention to her and held his hands out, pleading for her to consider her accusations, and how they made zero sense.
“Lorraine, do you hear what you’re saying? I met you when you came to the bakery to order a cake. If this was all some elaborate scheme, how in the hell would I have orchestrated that? It’s not as if I dragged you into Lillian’s that day.”
She stared off into the distance, as if she wasn’t even paying attention.
“Why me?” she asked, bringing her eyes back to his. “You’ve been with dozens of women in the past. Why am I the one you’ve supposedly fallen in love with?”
“What makes you think I’ve been with
dozens
of women?”
“It was in the report. Apparently, your string of ex-girlfriends—if one could even call them that—are all too willing to talk about Carter Drayson’s penchant for loving them and leaving them. What did I do to make you commit to an entire three weeks, and to fall in love, as you claim?”
For a long moment, all Carter could do was stare at her. His lungs constricted, making it hard to breathe. He shook his head, grappling with the mixture of hurt and anger rioting through him.
“You’re going to take the word of some guy your mother hired—the same mother you admit has tried to control your every move for the past five years?”
“What would she gain by lying, Carter? My mother is trying to protect me. Although I don’t always agree with her tactics, her goal has always been to protect me.”
“Your mother is trying to control you,” he argued. “And you’re allowing her to do it.”
“I want to believe you, Carter, but when I put together everything—all the women you’ve been with, that picture of you and Broderick...” She pressed a hand to her throat, as if it were hard for her to swallow.
Carter dropped his shoulders, defeat sinking into his bones. He saw the uncertainty on her face and it was too much for him to stomach. He’d spent too much of his life trying to prove who he was to people who supposedly loved him. He wasn’t up for this fight.
“If that’s what you want to believe, Lorraine, I can’t stop you.” He hunched his shoulders. “I’m just some player with a string of women lined up to take your place. How does that sound?”
This time the hurt that flickered in her eyes didn’t affect him. He had his own hurt and disappointment to deal with; he couldn’t be concerned with hers.
“Is that true, Carter?”
“That’s what your mother wants you to believe, right? She told you that you were just another notch on my belt? Fine, you were just another notch on my belt.”
Her bottom lip trembled, and she seemed to fold even more into herself, wrapping her arms around her middle and bending over slightly. Carter had to stop himself from reaching for her.
When she looked up at him, her eyes were filled with so much pain it nearly brought him to his knees.
“You promised you wouldn’t turn out to be like all the rest,” she accused in a quiet, hurt-filled voice. “You said you wouldn’t hurt me.”
“Don’t blame me for this. I didn’t do this. You did. Your mother did.” Carter tipped his head up to the sky and let out a mirthless laugh. “When I think about what I had planned to discuss tonight...” When he returned his gaze to Lorraine’s pained expression, he couldn’t summon a bit of remorse. “I guess this means I’m taking that job in New York. Thanks for making the decision easy for me.”
He turned and stalked away from her.
Chapter 15
L
orraine stared unseeingly out the window of her loft. Her brain registered only the muted colors of the outside world, which were dulled even more by the overcast sky. When her gaze came into focus, it homed in on several beads of rain trailing down the pane of glass.
Lorraine quickly averted her eyes. The rain reminded her too much of the tears that had been rolling down her face for the past two days.
She backed away from the window, running her hands up and down her arms in an attempt to ward off the chill in her bones that she couldn’t seem to get rid of. She trudged over to the bed, her limbs heavy with the weight of her conflicted emotions.
She didn’t know what to think anymore. She didn’t know whom to believe. Although she had been appalled at her mother’s methods, Lorraine had no doubt that her mother had had her best interest at heart. No, that wasn’t true. Abigail had had the interest of the Hawthorne-Hayes family name at heart. Nevertheless, her actions were explainable.
Carter’s, on the other hand, were not.
She had been swept up in the fantasy of his attention these past three weeks, yet Lorraine couldn’t deny the pesky feelings of doubt that had crept into her mind on several occasions. He’d seemed too good to be true. Now she knew why.
Or did she?
Was it all one big coincidence? Was there a possibility that Carter had had no idea that the man who had blackmailed her family was the same man who had belonged to his fraternity?
Lorraine closed her eyes, trying to recall his face at dinner the other night when he’d looked at the photograph. She’d kept her eyes on his face, hoping to catch any glimpse of recognition. She’d been waiting for that flash of guilt. But there had been none. Did that mean he really didn’t know Broderick, or that Carter Drayson was a compelling actor?
She curled up on her bed with a pillow, trying to convince herself that she didn’t smell his scent on the linens, and cursing herself for ever bringing him into her most sacred space. Carter had spurred her to do things she’d never considered. He’d motivated her to open up in ways she’d never thought possible.
“How could it have all been a lie?” Lorraine whispered.
Her cell phone trilled, startling her from her melancholy stupor. She recognized the number as one that she’d called earlier today. Lorraine forced herself upright. Pushing aside her mother, Carter, the private investigator and every other negative drain on her emotions, she answered the phone.
“Hello, Mrs. Stanton,” she began with a cheerfulness that was completely opposed to what she was actually feeling inside. “Thank you for returning my call. I have an idea I would like to propose for the patients at Comer Children’s Hospital and the pediatric burn unit at University of Chicago Medical.”
* * *
Carter stuffed an extra couple of pairs of boxers into the side compartment of his carry-on, then went into the bathroom to retrieve the toiletry bag that he kept packed. He used to keep it in his car, just in case he found himself spending the night somewhere other than his own home after a long night of clubbing. He remembered the day he’d brought it in from the car, after his second date with Lorraine. After years of playing the field, he’d decided after just two dates with her that his nights of hard partying and casual hookups were over.
Carter let out a long, eloquent string of curse words as he continued packing. He’d ordered himself not to think about her. If Lorraine wanted to believe the worst about him, that was her choice. It wasn’t up to him to try to change her mind. He had enough issues on his plate; he wouldn’t waste any more of his mental energy thinking about her lack of trust.
Her complete, wholehearted,
revolting
lack of trust.
“Forget about her,” Carter bit out.
He needed to erase from his mind what she’d come to mean to him over these past three weeks. Carter knew of one sure way to accomplish that.
He opened the cabinet underneath his sink, grabbed the box of condoms and tossed a handful into his toiletry bag. Best way to get over one girl was to find himself another. Or several. Hell, he’d hook up with half the women in New York if that was what it took to prove that he was over Lorraine.
A ball of nausea settled like a lead anchor at the sight of the foil packets. Carter emptied everything from the bag onto his counter, plucking the condoms and dumping them in the trash.
Random sex with random women wouldn’t solve a damn thing. It never had in the past. In fact, it probably had a lot to do with how screwed up he was when it came to relationships.
“Relationships?” he snorted.
He didn’t
do
relationships. He didn’t even know how. These past three weeks with Lorraine had been the closest thing he’d ever experienced to a real relationship, and it had all just blown up in his face.
It was time he face the inevitable. He was thirty years old, and like his father, he was well on his way to living a life filled with one-night stands separated by stretches of long, lonely days.
Carter sat on the rim of his tub and cradled his head in his hands.
He didn’t want to follow in his father’s footsteps. He needed more. After that morsel of happiness he’d found with Lorraine, Carter had quickly begun to crave the taste of it. He wanted to savor that feeling every day for the rest of his life.
Like a fool, he’d allowed himself to picture a future with her. Finally, he’d begun to see himself as more than just the bastard Drayson grandson, more than the black sheep who was merely tolerated by the rest of the family. When Lorraine looked at him with those soulful brown eyes, he saw reflected in them the man he’d always hoped he could one day become. He saw a man who deserved the love of a good woman.
But she didn’t love him. Carter refused to believe that she could love him yet believe him capable of something as heinous as colluding with that bastard who’d blackmailed her.
“Forget about her,” Carter said with more force. This time, he meant it.
He grabbed his phone from the bathroom counter and called Malik.
“Hey, man,” Malik answered.
“Do you have everything you need?” Carter asked him.
Carter had only been responsible for one specialty cake order for this weekend, which he’d finished decorating earlier this morning. But he always had contingencies in place just in case any of his customers needed an emergency cake.
“I’ve got a handle on everything,” Malik answered. “Although I still don’t think you should get on that plane.”
He’d been over this with Malik, and frankly, he was tired of hearing his best friend’s opinion.
“I’m not discussing this again,” he said. “I have an eight-thirty return flight scheduled out of JFK for tomorrow night. Text me if anything pops up that needs my attention.”
“So, you’re worried about the place falling apart with you gone for one day? How can you justify leaving forever?”
That feeling of nausea climbed up his throat again. Carter tamped it down, refusing to succumb to the guilt that had been eating away at him from the moment he’d first entertained talks with Robinson Restaurants.
“I’ll talk to you when I get back,” he said, then disconnected the call before Malik had a chance to respond.
He wasn’t doing this to hurt Lillian’s. He was doing this to help himself. He was done being underappreciated, sacrificing his own career without getting anything in return. It was time that he put himself first. It was time for a fresh start.
New York would be that fresh start.
Carter repacked his toiletry bag, leaving the discarded condoms in the garbage. He dropped the toiletry bag into the carry-on, turned off all the lights in his condo and headed out the door.
Chapter 16
C
arter tapped a nervous rhythm on the crisp white linen as his eyes roamed over the tasteful, yet understated decor of Robinson Restaurants’s flagship location in Midtown Manhattan. From what he’d read, the proprietor, Grant Robinson, believed in keeping his restaurants simple and elegant, because the food spoke for itself.
And he wanted Carter’s desserts to become a part of that proud tradition. It was humbling. And exciting. And just a bit overwhelming.
It wasn’t until he was strapping himself into his seat on the airplane at O’Hare that the reality of what he would face had dawned on him. His cakes would have to stand on their own. They would no longer be backed by the reputation Lillian’s had built.
“Carter?”
He popped up from his seat and turned to face the man holding out his hand.
The man introduced himself. “Grant Robinson.”
“Carter Drayson,” he said, shaking Grant’s hand. He was immediately taken aback. Something about Grant Robinson’s green eyes looked eerily familiar.
“How was the flight from Chicago?” Grant asked as he unbuttoned the single closure on his jacket and took the seat across from Carter.
“Quick and easy,” Carter answered.
“I guess that’s a good thing. I’m sure you’ll be taking frequent trips back home to visit family. Everyone still lives around that Drayson Estate in Glenville Heights, right?” he asked with a smile.