Authors: VC Andrews
“So, don’t even begin to think of her as some poor immigrant,” she warned. “She can probably buy and sell all three of us.”
I was shocked at her exaggeration, but Cliff looked impressed. Once we arrived at the restaurant and were at our table, he began to talk about himself and his family. It seemed important to him to make sure I understood he was from a wealthy family, too. I could see Fani was growing bored with the conversation.
“Tell me, Clifford,” she asked. “Is your nurse aunt your father’s or mother’s sister?”
“Father’s,” he said.
“So, why doesn’t your moneybags father just give her money so she doesn’t have to continue nursing and be depressed?”
“Maybe she doesn’t really want to leave nursing,” I answered for him. I saw he was embarrassed by her question. “Everyone complains about the work he or she does.”
“That’s probably it,” Cliff said, and smiled at me. “You’re very smart, Delia.”
“For a Mexican immigrant,” Fani added, and he started to protest that he didn’t mean anything negative. She broke out in laughter, but I could see he was upset with how she was teasing him in front of me.
Fani winked. Later, in the bathroom, she told me I had him wrapped around my finger already.
“If you want him, he’s yours for the night,” she said. “He’s what is known as smitten. You can bring him back to my place. You have your own bedroom.”
“What? No, no,” I said. “I don’t want that.”
“Soon you will, Delia. Don’t make like the Virgin Mary. You might not find anyone better than this guy. He’s not as bad as most of them, and he’s rather good-looking. If you toss him back into the sea, I might just reel him in myself.”
“No, Fani. It’s too soon for me.”
“No, it’s not too soon for you; it’s too bad for you,” she said. “How are you doing? Can you stay awake, or do you want this?” She showed me a pill.
“I’m awake.”
“Okay. Let’s get you in the groove, then.”
We returned to the table. After we had dinner, Fani told Larry to take us dancing at a club she knew downtown. He knew it, too. It was a college hangout. Despite what I had told Fani in the bathroom, I was feeling very tired. I just didn’t want her to know it and push that pill at me. When we got to the club, I knew I wasn’t very good on the dance floor, but Cliff didn’t seem to mind. Actually, he was eyeing other girls and showing off.
Fani moved closer to me to shout over the music. “Pay more attention to him. You’re losing him.”
“I never had him,” I replied, and she laughed.
Suddenly, I stopped dancing. There, not more than ten feet away from me, was my cousin Sophia.
Mi tía
Isabela would be outraged if she saw how she was dressed, I thought. She had on a very low-cut, tight
blouse, a bare midriff, and pants tighter than mine, cut so low they left little to the imagination.
“What’s wrong?” Cliff asked.
I shook my head and moved closer to Fani.
“Sophia is here,” I told her.
“She is? Where?”
I nodded in her direction.
“So she is. I’m not coming here anymore. They let anyone in,” she joked, but continued dancing with Larry. She was teasing and tormenting him by drawing very close to him and then pulling away. He was a bad dancer, gangly and awkward, but he was trying very hard to impress her, which only made her laugh more and tease him more.
“I want to sit for a while,” I told Cliff. He looked as if he might stay out there and dance by himself, but he reluctantly followed me to the table.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “I thought we were having lots of fun out there.”
“It’s been a long day for me,” I said. “Traveling, moving to a new place…”
He nodded but didn’t look very sympathetic. His gaze went everywhere else, and occasionally he smiled at some girls who smiled back.
His behavior, the whole scene, brought back memories of Adan and how calm and mature he had been. I was lucky to have been with him. Fani was wrong to tell me he had been with me only because he had felt sorry for me. He had wanted to be with me. We hadn’t had to prove anything to each other. We had already known who we were.
I was so lost in my memories that I didn’t realize
Sophia and her friend Trudy had approached our table and were standing right beside me.
“Well, look who’s here,” Sophia said. “Surprise of all surprises.”
Cliff looked up at her. “Who’s here?” he asked.
“This is my cousin you’re with, Mommy Delia.”
“Huh?”
I looked up at her.
“How come you’re not home with your baby, Cousin Dearest?” she continued.
“What baby?” Cliff asked.
I looked for Fani. She was still very much in Larry’s spotlight and hadn’t even realized that Cliff and I had left the dance floor.
“I heard you were thrown out of college,” I snapped back at Sophia, hoping to get her off the topic quickly.
“It was boring. But let’s not talk about me. Is your baby with you?”
“I don’t get it,” Cliff said, leaning toward me. “What baby?”
“She’s got a baby. Didn’t she tell you? She was also in a nuthouse for a while.”
He shook his head. “Is that true? What does that mean, nuthouse? You have a baby?” Cliff asked. He grimaced as if it were something disgusting.
I felt myself falling into a panic. Fani was still distracted. Sophia’s friend Trudy was rattling off stories about me, weaving the story of Ignacio, Adan’s death, and my pregnancy together so fast it made Cliff’s mind spin. He was sitting back with his mouth open. Sophia was smiling gleefully.
And then suddenly, she broke into hysterical laughter and pointed at me.
“Baby hungry!” she screamed.
I looked down at the tight, strapless gray tube top I was wearing. In my haste to find something to wear, I had forgotten to put some pads in my bra. My nipples were leaking, and it was showing through. Cliff’s eyes widened in amused surprise. The scene Sophia was making stopped some dancers near us, who turned to look. It finally attracted Fani, who stopped dancing, too.
Embarrassed, I shot away from the table and rushed toward the ladies’ room, Sophia and Trudy’s loud laughter trailing behind me. Inside, I got into a stall and stuffed tissue into my bra. I was sobbing so hard that I didn’t hear Fani knocking on the stall door.
“What is it? What’s going on?” she shouted.
I caught my breath and opened the door, turning to show her.
“Wow. You know, I never saw that happen.”
“I have. Many times,” I said. “I don’t know why I forgot it could.”
“Take off the top. I’ll wash it out and use the hand dryer.”
“I want to go back to your apartment, Fani,” I said, wiping the tears from my cheeks. “I don’t want to stay here.”
“Okay, okay. First things first, Delia. Take it off, and let me fix it. You don’t want to walk around out there like this, do you?”
I sucked in my breath and did what she asked.
“You’d better give me that bra, too. It’s damp. Just stay in here. I’ll fix things. It’s actually a very funny situation,” she added.
“How is it funny?”
“Clifford Carolina or whatever his name is sitting
there in shock. He looks like he’s going to faint. He’s telling Larry what happened, and Larry keeps going, ‘Huh? Huh?’ This is a blind date Clifford will never forget. Give me a few minutes with all this,” she added.
I closed the door, put my arms around my naked breasts, and sat on the toilet seat. Moments later, I heard Sophia and Trudy come into the bathroom.
“Doing laundry now, Fani?” Sophia asked. “Where’s Mommy Delia?”
“She’s in there,” I heard Trudy tell her. She came to my stall and tried to open the door.
“Better stay in there, Delia. Everyone’s talking about you on the dance floor. You’ve made a wonderful first impression in Los Angeles,” Sophia said. Trudy laughed. “I can’t wait to tell Edward about this leaking of information.”
“Leave her alone, Sophia,” Fani said.
“I thought you weren’t going to protect her anymore. I thought after what happened with Adan, you hated her,” Sophia snapped back at her. “Why are you with her, anyway?”
“Get out of here, Sophia. What I do and don’t do is none of your business,” Fani replied.
I heard the hand dryer go off and on.
“Oh, really. Well, Trudy and I might just steal away your boyfriends.”
Fani laughed. “Sophia, you’re such an idiot. You think we care about them?”
“Yeah? Maybe I don’t care about the boys. Maybe I care about something else, something you can give me and better give me.”
“Forget it, Sophia,” Fani said.
“You owe me. I spied on my mother for you.”
“Shut up, Sophia!” Fani shouted.
“I’m not going to shut up,” Sophia replied. “Trudy and I would like some X now, and don’t say you don’t have any.”
“You had better get away from me, Sophia,” Fani told her.
I stood up in the stall. I felt helpless, half naked, but I wanted to hear more. Why would Fani want Sophia to spy on
mi tía
Isabela? What was this about X?
“We can make quite a scene if we have to,” Sophia said. “Think you want all that attention? Think Mommy Dearest in there wants it? Maybe it will get back to your parents, and they won’t be so generous anymore.”
Fani was quiet. I heard the hand dryer go off. No one spoke. And then I heard the door open and close. Fani knocked on the stall.
“It’s all clear. I’ve fixed this pretty well, too,” she said.
I unlocked the stall and looked past her.
“Where is she?”
“They left. Forget about her. Here, put this back on. It’s all right for now,” she said.
She handed me my bra and top. I got dressed as quickly as I could.
“Why did she say she spied on
mi tía
Isabela for you?”
“That was back when Adan was thinking about asking you out again. I wanted to be sure Isabela wouldn’t embarrass him. Forget it.”
“That X she mentioned, isn’t that the drug they accused me of taking?”
“It’s very common around here, especially with younger people. It’s as easy to get as popcorn. Only an idiot like Sophia has trouble getting some for herself.”
“So, you have this drug? Is that what you offered me earlier? Did you give it to her? I told you I have read about it, what it can do.”
“Stop being such a worrywart, Delia. I’m trying to help you have a good time, and all you do is think about the dark side of everything. C’mon.”
Other girls came into the bathroom, but none seemed to be paying any attention to me. I looked in the mirror. There was still a faint stain around my breasts, but it wasn’t going to be that noticeable when I left the bathroom.
“Are we going back to your apartment now?” I asked.
“It’s still early,” Fani said. “I don’t want your first night here to be a disaster, Delia. You’ve got to start a new life.”
“Why is it so important to you that I start a new life so quickly, Fani?”
“Larry told me about a party,” she said instead of replying. “Let’s at least stop by for a while. Maybe you’ll meet someone nicer than Clifford.”
“I’m just so—”
“Just come along,” she said, and pulled me toward the door.
I stepped out with her, terrified of facing a crowd of people looking at me and laughing. Instead, all I saw was what I had first seen when we came in, a crowd dancing, laughing, drinking. Fani leaned toward me.
“See? You’re already forgotten. No big deal. Let’s salvage what we can of the night.”
I followed her timidly back toward our table. Larry was there, but Cliff was not.
“Hey,” he said. “Everything all right?”
“Peachy keen. Where’s Mr. North Carolina?”
“He went off with that girl who made a big scene with Delia.”
“Sophia? Well, I’ll be,” Fani said. “I wonder what she offered him.”
Larry smiled lustfully. “You could make the same offer. I’m interested.”
“Don’t blow your gaskets, Larry. The night is young. Let’s go,” Fani told him. “We need a change of scenery right away.”
“Aye-aye, commander,” Larry replied, saluting and standing up quickly.
Fani looked at me and shook her head. “What an idiot,” she whispered. “We’ll lose him before the evening’s over.”
“When is it over?” I asked.
“When it’s over,” she replied.
We followed Larry through the crowd and out the front door.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“A secret party thrown by one of the fraternities. They do this once in a while, rent a house for a weekend. Since it’s out of the area and away from the college, they have more freedom, if you know what I mean.”
She started to get into the front seat with Larry.
“We don’t want him to think he’s just a chauffeur,” she whispered, “even though that’s all he really is.”
“Where is this secret party?” I asked.
“Hollywood Hills,” she said. “Here. This will give you the energy you need for the night.”
She handed me a pill.
“Is this—”
“Just take it. You don’t have to worry about complicating a pregnancy now, and I guarantee you’ll have a better time. Go on, take it, Delia,” she insisted. “You need something to get you out of your funk. Go on!”
I pretended to put it in my mouth, and then I crushed it between my fingers and let it dribble to the car floor. Minutes later, with the radio blasting, we were winding down city streets and weaving our way to the secret party.
And the ending of an evening that would be the true beginning of a new life.
Only it wouldn’t be the new life Fani Cordova had envisioned for me.
W
e could actually hear the music, laughter, and loud conversation from the bottom of the hill, where we had to park because there were so many cars on both sides of the road. I couldn’t imagine why the people in the homes we walked past hadn’t already called the police. Fani laughed when I wondered aloud.
“Who says they haven’t?” she told me. “The police are probably chasing parties like this all over the city tonight.”
Larry thought that was funny, too. I saw him pull her aside and whisper something. A moment later, she handed him what looked like the pill she had offered me.
“How are you feeling, Delia?” she asked.
“I’m okay.”
“Just okay?”
“I’m not tired, if that’s what you mean,” I said, afraid she would realize I hadn’t taken the pill. “I might even dance with Larry,” I added, so she wouldn’t be suspicious, and she laughed.
“Thatta girl,” she said, putting her arm around me. “We’re going to light up this city together.”
We marched on to the party house.
As we walked up the driveway, I saw people dancing on a side patio. The music was spilling out of every open window, and when I looked up, I saw there were people dancing on a second-story balcony as well. Inside, the furniture had been shoved against the wall. In the center of the living-room floor was a large keg of beer. Apparently, some of the partygoers had jumped into the pool at the rear of the house. They were wearing towels around their waists, and some girls were in their bras with towels serving as skirts.
Everyone was dancing and shouting, waving his or her arms in the air. To me, it looked like bedlam, but Larry was very excited.
“Let’s get into this!” he screamed.
“Go ahead. We’ll be right behind you,” Fani told him.
He shrugged and joined two girls dancing nearby. I thought they looked as if they would dance with any warm body, but he obviously was flattered when they accepted him. He looked our way, smiling and dancing close to the girls to make Fani jealous.
“He’s such a goofball,” she said. “See what I meant about these college guys? It’s like shooting fish in a barrel!” she shouted in my right ear. The music was so loud that no one could hear anyone without shouting.
Why, I wondered, did she think this was any fun? To me, it seemed as if everyone was trying too hard to
prove he or she was having a good time. If this was the world she wanted me to embrace now, I couldn’t see her ever being happy with me. I would never be able to room with her for a long period of time, I realized.
“You want some beer?” she shouted.
I shook my head.
“Let’s get some beer,” she insisted, and led me to the keg.
“One kiss per glass,” the fat, curly-black-haired boy at the keg told her. He was dripping wet and wearing a towel that looked soaked through.
Fani seized his towel at the waist and threatened to pull it off him.
“Give us the beer if you know what’s good for you,” she said, raising her other hand with her long fingernails out like tiny knives.
“Take it easy,” he said, quickly pouring two cups.
She handed me one, and we wove our way through the mob of wild dancers toward the rear of the house, where the patio doors were thrown open.
What would this house look like in the morning? Who would rent his home to such a crowd? I wondered.
The music piped out was loud enough for the partygoers to dance on the patio down by the pool, where we could see boys throwing one another into the water and some girls screaming and being thrown in as well.
“Wild, huh?” Fani said. She looked at me. “You didn’t take the pill, did you?” she asked. Before I could reply, she laughed and shook her head. “You’re going to be a challenge, all right, Delia, but one way or another, I’m going to get you to loosen up and have a
good time. You were rushed too quickly out of your youth. I’m bringing you back.”
She downed her glass of beer, tossed the cup, and joined a group dancing to our right. She beckoned for me to join her, but I wandered off to the right to watch some of the havoc at a safe distance. I found a place to put the cup of beer and then sat on a wide railing that ran along the back patio.
Despite the loud music, the screams and laughter, and the partygoers dancing close by, I was able to close my eyes and focus back on Adan Jr. I thought about his little face when he turned toward me and the way he reacted to my touch. Surely, in his baby mind, he was wondering where that touch was and when would it return. My heart ached thinking about it.
“Delia?” I heard, and turned to see Cliff. He had come up the small grassy hill between the patio and the pool below. He looked out of breath, his hair wild and his shirt wide open. “Thank God I found someone I know,” he said. He was gasping for breath.
“What is it?” I asked, standing.
“It’s your cousin,” he said. “Something’s really wrong with her.”
“Where is she?”
“We’re over there,” he said, nodding toward the
casita.
I could see a small group near the small guest house.
“What do you mean, something’s really wrong with her?”
“She went into convulsions, and then she passed out,” he said quickly. “Her girlfriend is hysterical. I don’t know what to do.”
I looked for Fani. She was really into her dancing
and had found a boy she appeared to like and was no longer paying any attention to me. There was no way she could hear me shouting. I looked at Cliff. He was in a genuine panic.
“Someone’s got to do something, and fast!” he screamed.
“Let’s go,” I said, and I hurried after him down the hill and toward the
casita.
As we drew closer, I could see Sophia lying on the patio floor. It was hard to believe, but a few girls and some boys were actually dancing around her as if the whole thing were a big joke. For a moment, I wondered if it could be. Was this all an act to get me there and embarrass me further? How could the others be so nonchalant about someone being unconscious? I saw Trudy off to the side being consoled by another girl.
“Get the hell out of the way!” Cliff shouted at the dancers. They looked at him and parted but continued to dance.
I knelt down beside Sophia and touched her face. She was burning up. I remembered reading about the symptoms of an overdose of Ecstasy and knew what this could mean. Trudy came closer. I looked up at her.
“How much of that Ecstasy did she swallow?” I asked.
“All of it,” Trudy said. “She said one pill didn’t do anything for her. What’s the matter with her?”
“She’s going into hyperthermia,” I said.
“What’s that?”
“Her body temperature is very high. Very high!” I shouted.
Incredibly, none of the other partygoers paid any attention to what I was saying.
I felt for Sophia’s pulse.
“Her heartbeat is too fast. I’m sure her blood pressure is way up, too. We’ve got to get her to a hospital quickly,” I said.
“Oh man, oh man,” Cliff chanted. “I’m going to get into so much trouble. This isn’t the first time I’ve been around something like this. My parents will kill me.”
“Go get Fani,” I told him.
“Hey, I can’t have anything more to do with this. I don’t even know her, really,” Cliff said, nodding at Sophia and backing away. “She’s your cousin, not mine. You guys take care of it.”
Before I could respond, he turned and walked off to disappear in the crowd.
“We’ve got to get her to the hospital!” I screamed at Trudy. She seemed incapable of moving. “She could die!”
The music seemed to get even louder. The laughter and screams around me put me into more of a panic. Was everyone insane? Couldn’t anyone see what was happening? I stood up and reached for the nearest boy, seizing his arm.
“Hey!” he complained.
“Help us get her into a car!” I shouted at him. “She has to go to a hospital.”
He looked at me and then down at Sophia. “She’s just drunk.”
“No. She took drugs. She’s dying,” I said. The girl beside him shrieked and put her hand over her mouth as if she had to shut herself up.
“Wow,” he said. “I ain’t going to any hospital with
you,” he warned. “I could get thrown out of college over something like this.”
“We don’t need you to go to the hospital. Just help me get her there. Please, get her feet,” I said.
I knelt down and lifted under her arms. Sophia was no lightweight, and I struggled.
I looked to the other boys, who were now watching, hoping one of them would step forward. Finally, as I stumbled back, one of them did. He was stocky, so holding her was no effort for him.
“Where are we going with her?” he asked, looking as if he might drop Sophia if I didn’t answer very fast.
“Trudy, show us where your car is. Quickly!” I said.
She nodded and led us around the side of the house. The boy complained when he saw how far down the road Trudy’s car was parked.
“I’m going to get a hernia,” the boy holding her at the legs said.
I told Trudy to rush ahead and get the rear door opened. When we got there, the boy was very clumsy about putting Sophia into the rear. He bumped her shoulders and her head. I got in from the other side and guided her onto the seat. As soon as she was fully in, the stocky boy closed the door and walked away as if he had simply helped someone load his or her car with groceries. Trudy, still in a panic, was just standing there stupidly.
“Get into the car and drive,” I ordered.
“Where?”
“The nearest hospital!” I shouted. How could she be so stupid?
“I don’t know where that is. I don’t live here, Delia.”
“Just drive down the road, and we’ll stop at the first place we see people to get directions.”
She got in and started the engine. I felt Sophia’s face again. Her skin was so hot that it was difficult for me to hold my fingers there. Her pulse was still very, very fast. She’s actually going to die in this car, I thought. Despite all she had done to me, the horror of such an event sent cold chills through my body. I sat back and lowered her head to my lap. Trudy drove erratically. She was crying as she was driving.
“Be careful!” I screamed when she made a turn too close to the side of the road and went over the sidewalk. The moment I saw a lit storefront, I shouted, “Park there, and get directions. Quickly!”
She did as I said. I was worried she wouldn’t understand the directions well enough to follow them, but when she came out, she said it wasn’t far. She simply had to follow this street, and then she would make a right turn on the fifth street. She kept repeating what she had been told, babbling now. The only thing I thought was in our favor was that according to Trudy, Sophia had passed out just before Cliff had come for me. She wasn’t unconscious that long.
When we arrived at the hospital, I thought it was better for me to rush into the emergency room for help. I told Trudy to stay in the car with Sophia. A nurse and an emergency-room attendant listened to my quick report, and moments later, two attendants wheeled out a gurney and loaded Sophia onto it. I told Trudy to find a place to park the car, and then I followed them into the emergency room.
Trudy never came in. Later, I realized she hadn’t looked for a place to park the car. Instead, she had driven away.
Such were the friends Sophia considered her dearest, I thought, and actually pitied her.
Not long afterward, a policeman came into the waiting room and beckoned to me. My heart began to pound. Sophia had been in the emergency room for almost a half hour. I had given the admittance nurse as much information as I could, including
mi tía
Isabela’s name and telephone number, and she had told me to wait in the lobby area.
“I need to speak with you, Miss,” the policeman said.
He looked very young, I thought, but he also looked very angry.
“Where is this party you mentioned?”
“I’m not sure,” I said. He pulled his head back in disbelief. “I’m not from here, and I don’t know the streets. It was up a hill. I was too frantic to pay much attention to anything but getting her here, sir.”
He grimaced. “Did you give your cousin the drugs?”
“No, sir,” I said, astonished at the question.
“Are you carrying any on you now?”
“I never had any,” I said, and rushed out a description of what had happened at the party.
He looked at a clipboard on which I could see some of the information I had given the admittance nurse.
“This is the address where you are now staying?”
“Yes, sir.”
“And this is the name of the person who lives there?” he asked, pointing to Fani’s name.
“Yes, it is.”
“And this is your aunt’s address and phone number?”
I nodded. “How is my cousin?”
“The doctor will speak with you as soon as he can. In the meantime, don’t leave this area. Any drug overdose is a very serious situation.”
“I understand,” I said.
He didn’t look satisfied. “I’ll be back in a while,” he said, and left.
When I turned to go back to my seat, I saw the way the other people waiting were looking at me. No one smiled. I lowered my head and sat. At the moment, I was too tired and numb to feel anything, even fear. I wondered if Trudy had returned to the party to tell Fani or if Fani had met Cliff and he had told her. Surely, she was looking for me by now and would seek out anyone who knew me.
Almost another forty minutes went by, and still no one came to speak with me. I went to the admittance desk and asked the nurse there if she knew anything about Sophia. I told her how long I had been waiting.
“When the doctor is able to speak with you, he will,” she told me. She looked as angry as the policeman.
Why were they angry at me? I wondered. Did everyone assume I had given Sophia the drugs?
This time, when I returned to my seat, I closed my eyes and leaned back. Despite the lights and the noise around me, I was so exhausted, both physically and emotionally, that I actually fell asleep. I had no idea how much time had passed, but I woke up when I felt myself being nudged and looked up at Tía Isabela.
For a moment, she seemed to loom above me like
some imaginary giant whose head brushed the ceiling. Her eyes rained down rage and disgust. She was dressed in a black pantsuit, with her hair pinned back severely. Although she was wearing her usual ton of makeup, she looked pale.