Deliver Me From Evil (27 page)

I
t was amazing how well my in-laws had cleaned the house before they moved out. They had left nothing behind that indicated that they had even lived with us.

I didn't dive into a hot bubble bath when I got home. I was so drained, tired, and angry about what Wade had done to me that all I could manage to do was fall into bed. I didn't even take the time to stop and check in on Miss Rosetta or meet the Jamaican nurse that Jesse Ray was going to hire.

I had so much on my mind, I didn't expect to sleep much that night. As angry as I was about what Wade and Jason had done to me, I was more concerned about them telling the wrong person and implicating me. I was pretty confident that Jesse Ray would not go to the authorities or even tell his closest friends or family. Somehow I did manage to fall asleep. I didn't wake up until noon the next day.

Jesse Ray was sitting on the side of the bed, with a smile on his face. “I just put on a pot of coffee,” he told me, brushing hair off my face. “I can fix you something to eat, or I can send out for something.”

“How come you're not at work?” I croaked, attempting to rise.

“I haven't been back since … since I delivered the … ransom. Mel is holding down the fort until I return. He thinks I've got some type of infection,” Jesse Ray said in a stiff voice.

“Jesse Ray, please tell me again that you won't ever tell anybody about this. I don't want to drag the cops into this, and I don't want those white dudes to come after us,” I whispered. “We might not be so lucky the next time ….”

“As far as I am concerned, this never happened. If it would make you feel better, we can move. We can move out of this city, this state. We can even move to Canada if you want to. I've been thinking about opening up a store in Vancouver, anyway.”

“We can talk about all that later. I just want to get my bearings back. If Jeanette or Nita calls, or anybody else, I don't feel like talking. Tell them that I caught whatever it is you got,” I said, faking a cough. It wasn't really necessary for me to play sick. I really did feel like shit.

Jesse Ray nodded. “Let me get you some coffee.” He left the room and closed the door behind him. I suddenly felt more paranoid than I'd ever felt before in my life. Not knowing what Wade was up to was a frightening thought. He had tapes of our conversations plotting our crime. He even had Polaroids of himself and me in some extremely explicit poses. What if he decided he wanted even more of Jesse Ray's money and wanted me to help him get it? Would he use the tapes and the Polaroids to force me into another crime? Just thinking about all the possibilities was making me dizzy. I curled up like a snail and cried like I'd never cried before in my life.

When I couldn't manage to squeeze out any more tears, I turned over and faced the large window where I used to enjoy the view of the Bay and the San Francisco skyline. I could even see the famous Golden Gate Bridge from that same window. The curtains were open, and the hot sun made my eyes burn. I turned in the other direction because I was too weak to get out of bed and close the curtains.

I flipped over on my back and stared at the ceiling, wondering if I'd have to trade all of this for a cell in some dank women's prison. I didn't even hear the door open and Jesse Ray padding across the floor. What he said next hit me like a ton of bricks.

“Wade Fisher is dead,” Jesse Ray told me.

There was a profound jolt. My first thought was that we were having an earthquake, or I was experiencing a scene straight out of
The Exorcist
, because my bed shook so violently for a split second, I almost rolled off of it. I sat bolt upright.

“
What did you say?”
My voice was so heavy and hoarse, I could barely get the words out.

“Wade Fisher is dead,” Jesse Ray repeated. There was a blank look on his face as he stood in the middle of our bedroom floor, holding a tray with two cups of coffee on it. “The biggest wannabe star I ever met.”

“What are you talking about?” I let out a breath that was so strong, it could have blown Jesse Ray down if he had been close enough.

“You remember that punk from the old neighborhood who was always going around talking about how he was going to be in the movies? He was a dead ringer for that rock star. Uh, what's his name? Lenny Kravitz,” Jesse Ray said, snapping his fingers. “Thought he was God's gift to women. Wade, not Lenny. But then again, Lenny probably thinks the same thing. And, women can be such fools when it comes to men like that.” I didn't like the tone of Jesse Ray's voice or what he'd just said. It almost sounded like he was jealous.

He dipped his head and gave me a mysterious look. “And, don't tell me, you don't remember Wade Fisher, because males, especially young males, like to brag. Especially back in those days, when we were kids. Wade told everybody in Berkeley how he'd busted your cherry on your thirteenth birthday ….” Jesse Ray leaned over the bed, handing me one of the cups of coffee. “But, like I told you before, what you did before we got together is your business. Watch out, baby. This coffee's hot.” My hands were shaking so hard, I spilled most of it on them and my lap. And, as hot as it was, I didn't even feel it.

“How … how did Wade die?” I asked, my lips quivering. The top of my head felt like somebody had sliced it open. I recalled how nervous Wade had been standing near that mortuary the last time he called up Jesse Ray. “Bad karma,” he'd said. I prayed that Wade's betrayal would be the only bad karma I'd have to face.

“It's all over the news, on every channel,” Jesse Ray said, wiping coffee off my hands with his fingers. He was acting too calm to know as much as I thought he did. I sat there staring into his eyes, trying to read his thoughts. “Some neighbors called the cops after they heard gunshots inside his mama's house. The paper thinks it was drug related because the guy that shot Wade had a rap sheet as long as a mule's dick.”

“Jason Mack,” I mouthed. It took me a moment to realize that I was talking out loud.

Jesse Ray's body got stiff, and he gave me a puzzled look. “Yes. But … but how did you know?”

“Uh, they used to be running buddies, and I heard that they did some burglaries together,” I said. “They were real close,” I added. “You said they think it was drug related?”

“The cops arrived before Jason made it out of the house. Apparently, he hung around after he'd shot Wade and tore the place up, looking for Wade's stash. Cocaine, no doubt. When the cops tried to get Jason to surrender, he came out blasting. And that was the last thing he did in this life.”

“Did the cops find any drugs or anything else? Maybe Jason was looking for money.”

“Well, whatever he was looking for, he didn't find. And, even if he did, it won't do him any good now. Baby, drink your coffee before it gets cold.”

“Oh,” I croaked, sipping coffee I couldn't even taste, because I was in such a state of shock.

“I'm anxious for you to meet Daisy,” Jesse Ray said in a cheerful voice that I knew was forced. He strolled across the floor and opened the curtains even wider. The pain that the sun caused to my eyes was nothing compared to the pain in my head.

In addition to everything else that I had to worry about, now I had to worry about Wade's mother, the cops finding those tapes of me planning my own kidnapping, those Polaroids of my naked ass grinning into a camera, and a million dollars of my husband's hard-earned money.

Even dead, Wade was still “fucking” me.

I
crawled out of bed like a lizard around two that afternoon. I slid to the floor and stood in the same spot for at least five minutes, trying to sort out my thoughts. I took a quick shower and wrapped myself up in a bathrobe. Compared to the bleak bathroom in the motel that I'd been holed up in for the past few days, my bathroom looked and felt like something in a palace. But I didn't feel like anybody's princess or queen. I still felt like hell, physically and mentally. One of the nagging things at the front of my mind was, where do I go from here?

I started sweating and crying, standing there in my bathrobe. Bile rose in my throat, and I had to lean over the commode to vomit. With the snot that ran out of my nose, the sweat, the tears, and the puke on my face, I was such a nasty mess that I had to take another shower. After I dried myself off, I let the lid down on the toilet; then I sat there and cried some more.

“Hey. You all right in there?” Jesse Ray asked, gently tapping on the door. I didn't have my watch with me, and there was no clock in the bathroom, so I didn't know how long I'd been in there. I was sorry that I hadn't locked the door. Before I could respond, Jesse Ray eased the door open. “Baby, it's going to be all right.” He leaned over me, patting my back with one hand, rubbing my shoulder with the other. “Now pull yourself together, and come say hi to Mama.”

Jesse Ray wiped my face with a towel and led me back into our bedroom. He put lotion on my hands, face, and legs, like he'd seen me do almost every morning since we'd been married. Then he dressed me. He didn't just snatch another bathrobe out of my closet or the first thing he got his hands on. He took his time and went through all my drawers, selecting my underwear and one of the many loose-fitting dresses that I liked to wear around the house. He even pulled my hair back, braided it, wound it, and secured it to the nape of my neck with hairpins. “Now,” he said, with a broad smile, smoothing down the sides of my dress after he'd slid me into it feet first.

“I'm fine,” I insisted, with a smile, when he attempted to lead me downstairs by the hand. I didn't want to look at myself in the mirror. I didn't want to see my eyes. They were aching and itching, and I knew that from all the crying I'd just done, they were red and swollen, too. But the real reason I didn't want to look into my own eyes was because I didn't want to see what I really was. I didn't want to look at my lying, evil eyes. I couldn't face the reality of what I'd done. I managed to smile at my husband again, anyway.

“I'm fine, baby,” I said again, pushing his hand away. I slid my feet into the fuzzy pink bedroom slippers I kept on the floor by the side of the bed. I was so wobbly, I started walking like I had a big stick stuck up my ass. Somehow I managed to make it downstairs without Jesse Ray holding me up, but he walked so close behind me, I could feel his breath on the back of my neck.

It was nice to see that Miss Rosetta was doing all right. Well, not exactly all right, but as well as could be expected. She was no better and no worse. She just stared up at me from the bed that had become her prison and blinked. Then a few large tears oozed out of the corners of her eyes.

I was happy to meet Daisy Meekes, the buxom, middle-aged nurse that Jesse Ray had hired. Not only had she already cleaned and fed Miss Rosetta, but she had also done things for the old woman that I had not even considered when the chore was on my shoulders. She had permed and styled what little bit of hair Miss Rosetta had left on her head. But what really brought tears to my eyes was the fact that she had put make-up on Miss Rosetta's face. She had slapped on too much powder and the wrong shade of lipstick, just like Miss Rosetta used to do it.

It pleased me to hear that Daisy had already moved into the room that nasty-ass Odell had occupied. It pleased me even more to hear that Jesse Ray had replaced the mattress that that boy had masturbated into day and night. Not only had Daisy agreed to take care of Miss Rosetta 24-7, she was also going to help with the cooking and housekeeping. I was not surprised to hear that she was the one who had cleaned up all of the rooms that my in-laws had vacated.

“I'm here to make de day easier for you,” she told me in her charming Jamaican accent, shaking my hand so hard, I thought it was going to fall off. “You look like you need to get a lot of much-needed rest.”
Lady, you don't know the half of it
, I thought to myself, forcing myself to smile. I liked Daisy right away. She reminded me of a younger version of Miss Odessa.

“I'd appreciate that,” I told her. Jesse Ray stood a few feet behind me. “I think I just want to rest today,” I said, turning to face him. I declined Daisy's offer to fix me something to eat. Now that I knew that my house was back under my control, I wanted to go back into hiding. I had to be alone because I still had some very serious issues to work through.

“Nita and Jeanette wanted to come by, but I told them to wait until they hear from you,” Jesse Ray told me, steering me back toward the stairs that led to our bedroom. “They said that if they don't hear from you by tomorrow, they'll stop by. They wanted to know if you wanted to go to that funeral with them.”

“What funeral?” I gasped, sitting back down on the side of our bed. I slid off my house shoes and was working the zipper on the back of my dress.

“That Wade's funeral,” Jesse Ray said, with an exasperated wave of his hand. “I didn't know they knew him, too.”

My body froze. Just hearing Jesse Ray mention Wade's name almost turned me to stone. “They … they got to know his mama through me,” I stammered. “You know, almost everybody in Berkeley eventually got to know Miss Louise, the way she got around.” I paused and offered a fake laugh. “She's probably borrowed money from everybody she knows at one time or another. When I was in school, she used to borrow my lunch money to buy make-up. That old sister makes Harvey and Adele and her bunch look like amateurs when it comes to borrowing money.” I let out another fake laugh.

“I don't like to speak ill of the dead, but from what I heard about that Wade, he wasn't living right anyhow. I'm sorry he ended up dead, but he had it coming. I'm just glad you didn't get more involved with him than you did during your teens. He could have ruined your youth.” Jesse Ray shook his head. “Anyway, if you want to go to the funeral to pay your respects to Wade's mama, I'll go with you.”

“I'm not going,” I said quickly. Wade was the last person on the planet I wanted to see again, dead or alive. He had caused me enough pain to last me the rest of my life. And it wasn't over yet.

“That's fine with me, but we will send flowers. And, if you want to pay Miss Louise a brief visit, let me know.”

“I … I will,” I managed.

“You can sleep as long as you want to. I don't want you to worry about anything anymore today. You've been through a lot.”

“Where did you drop the ransom money off?” I asked. I had stepped out of my dress and was now back in bed, with the covers pulled up to my chin.

Jesse Ray gave me a slight frown at first. “That's not important. What is important is that they got what they wanted, and I got what I wanted.” He smiled. His eyes looked tired and sad. “I would have given them every penny I've got to my name to get you back.”

Then my eyes started filling up with tears, which I couldn't hold back. “Jesse Ray, I am so sorry about all this,” I sobbed.

“You don't have to keep telling me that. This was not your fault,” he said, sitting down on the side of the bed.

“And you won't call the cops? You won't tell anybody about any of this? Ever?” I asked.

“You don't have to keep asking me that. I've told you and told you that as far as I am concerned, this never happened. Now, you get some more rest.” Jesse Ray glanced at his watch. “I'm going to make a few calls.”

“Are you going to work?”

“Not for a while,” he told me. “I think you need me more than that video store does.”