Deliver the Moon (11 page)

It had been the same after Joey died. He’d often disappeared into his darkroom, preferring the black and white images of other people’s lives to reality with her. He’d told her he felt more at home there than anywhere else.

He moved his foot from the door. Walking backward, he said, “See ya, Lou.”

The door swung slowly shut between them.

Louisa made a split second decision, one she’d probably regret later, but guilt drove a person to do crazy things sometimes.

She caught up to him just as he climbed into the empty elevator. “Gabriel, wait!” She shoved her hand between the metal doors to keep them from closing. At his surprised expression, she bit the corner of her lip. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.
Just tell him good-bye, Louisa.

“I have an idea.” Spineless. So spineless. “We have a small darkroom here that a couple of the older designers still use on occasion. You’d have to bring your own paper, but…” She cleared her throat and couldn’t quite look at him. “I’ll be working late tomorrow.”

Gabe didn’t answer right away, just peered at her through slightly narrowed eyes. For a moment, she thought he would turn down her offer. Relief. Yes, that’s what she felt. Not disappointment.

Finally, he nodded once. “Tomorrow evening, then.”

The elevator doors slid closed. Louisa stared at her reflection in the metal surface. “Oh, shit.”

****

She was going to see Gabe tonight. That knowledge made Louisa jittery and nervous and excited all day long. It also terrified her, because she could lose her job over this. Not because she was letting someone else use the facilities, but because that someone was Gabe, who her boss, Jody, would see as a threat to baby brother Evan.

Jody had nothing to worry about though. Louisa was only doing Gabe, a renowned photographer, a favor. It wasn’t like they’d be alone. On any given night, a handful of designers worked late.

“See ya tomorrow, Louisa,” Denny said, poking his head into her workstation at 7:20.

Louisa lifted her mechanical pen from the drafting paper, letting it hover above the thumbnail sketches. “You’re leaving? Who else is still here?”

“Nobody. You’re the only workaholic tonight. You’ll have to lock up.” He waved a hand at her. “Later.” Then he was gone.

O-kay, so she and Gabe
would
be alone.

Oh, shit.

No! It was really no big deal. He’d come by yesterday specifically to tell her she didn’t have to worry about him in situations like this.

Gnawing at her lower lip, she grabbed her cell phone from the corner of her desk. Maybe Sarah could give her some advice. She still hadn’t been able to reach her friend since talking to Gabe yesterday.

Sarah’s phone went straight to voice mail. At the tone, Louisa said, “Okay. I think you’re ignoring me. I’ll try not to take it personally.” She giggled. “Call. Me. Back.” She hung up, trying not to be concerned. Gabe must be mistaken. Sarah and Arty were probably so busy being newlyweds, they didn’t have time to return her call.

At 7:30, she glanced at her watch. Maybe Gabe wouldn’t show up.

A pang of disappointment nipped in her stomach. Nope. That was relief again. It was.

When a knock sounded on the glass door of the outer office, she knew she was more excited than she should be.

****

Gabe watched Louisa hurry toward the front door. Seeing how good she looked, he wondered if it had been a mistake to come tonight, if he might be torturing himself by being with her. Her hair jumbled long and loose around her shoulders. Her slim little body was clothed in a lemon yellow shirtdress, and she was in her stocking feet. For some reason, that seemed the most attractive part of her attire.

She met his eyes through the glass and smiled. Composing himself, he waited for her to unlock the door.

When she’d offered the use of her company’s darkroom last night, he’d almost told her UW had also offered him use of their facilities, which were probably more advanced than the one in Louisa’s office, but he’d held his tongue. She might be unwilling to admit she enjoyed spending time with him, but he wasn’t.

Her eyes grew wide when she saw what he carried. “I hope you brought enough for yourself, too, because I’m starving,” she said.

“You’re presuming I brought enough for
you
. Maybe it’s all for me.”

She gave him a wilted look and grabbed the white paper bags, peeking inside and sniffing. “What is it?”

“Thai food.” That had always been her favorite take-out. “I got you Phad Thai.” Her favorite dish. Her blinding smile was all the thanks he needed.

They spread the meal out on the conference room table. Louisa dug into her food with a vengeance and finished long before he did. The third time she reached over to grab a bite of his beef and noodles dish, he joked, “Didn’t you eat already?”

She flicked him in the face with a piece of rice. “Stingy.”

God, she was cute. He’d almost forgotten this feisty side of her. He shook his head and handed her the rest of his meal. “Here. Don’t worry about me.”

She smirked and grabbed the cardboard box from him, not at all embarrassed about her appetite. He watched her finish up the remains of his meal in record time.

As they cleaned up their dinner mess, he asked, “Did you ever get a hold of Sarah?”

Louisa shook her head. “I’ve called her and texted her. I’m sure everything’s fine.”

Gabe wasn’t so sure, but said nothing more as Louisa showed him around the darkroom, pointing out the supply cupboard and light switches. “No one else is here, so you don’t have to worry about anyone barging in and screwing up your work.”

So they were alone. Gabe wondered how she felt about that. Hopefully, he’d set her mind at ease yesterday.

****

Louisa ran her pen across the smooth paper, doodling more than working on a corporate identity project. Her overflowing trashcan under her desk was testament to her lack of productivity.

Gabe appeared next to her table, and she jumped. She’d been lost in thought, and she wished she could say her mind had been totally on her work.

He grinned. “Didn’t mean to scare you, but I need another reel for the film. The one you gave me is cracked.”

“There should be extras in the cupboard next to the sink.” She hopped down from her stool. “Here. I’ll show you. I’m drawing a blank on this project right now anyway.”

“Do you work late often?” he asked as he followed her to the darkroom.

“Well, yeah.” She gave a rueful laugh.

“Then I won’t keep you long tonight. You look tired.”

She ignored that and fished through a couple of cabinets until she found another reel. She didn’t tell him she planned on working very late tonight, to work until she was completely exhausted. Maybe if she was really, really tired, she wouldn’t lie awake in bed all night thinking about him. And when she did go sleep, maybe then he wouldn’t be the star of her erotic dreams.

“Lou?” Gabe stared hard at her.

She unclenched her hand around the reel. “Oh. Sorry.” She handed it to him and started out of the room. At the doorway, she turned around. “Um, Gabe? Would you mind if I stayed in here for a bit?”

He shrugged. “If you want, but I’m just going to be loading the film into the tank. It has to be completely dark, so you won’t see anything.”

“I know. But it always fascinated me how you managed to get the film from its little case and onto the reel without being about to see. Remember how I could never do it in college?”

They chuckled together at the memory. She really had been horrible in every aspect of the photography process—especially in the darkroom. Thank God for her, most of the world had gone digital.

She hopped onto the counter as he flicked off the lights, painting the room velvet black. He jumped up beside her, and the stainless steel vibrated beneath her.

Although it had been ages since she’d developed a roll of film, she knew exactly what he was doing just by listening. First, he pulled the filmstrip from its little metal canister, then he maneuvered it onto the plastic reel. As she listened to Gabe walk the film into the grooves by alternately twisting each side of the reel, she couldn’t help but remember the night he tried to teach her to load film in college.

They’d been friends for about six months at that point. She was with him in the art department’s darkroom, late at night as usual, watching as he made some prints. She offered to load his film while he was printing, to save time. When she’d thrown the reel across the room in frustration, he’d joined her in the tiny film closet.

Opening the door had exposed the roll of film she’d thrown, thus ruining it, but he hadn’t been angry. He’d simply picked up the film from the floor, closed the door again, and joined her on the counter where she sat fuming. “I’m going to show you once and for all how to do this,” he’d told her. “You will get it this time.”

He’d walked her through the steps, guiding her hands and fingers through the motions.

Although they’d been in close proximity before, they’d never done anything more than hug, being that they were “just friends.” But this night, for whatever reason, was different. All of a sudden, they were in each other’s arms.

That was the night he’d become her lover. Her first.

They certainly weren’t lovers now, but her blood raced through her veins as though they should be. She sat far enough away from him that he wouldn’t be able to accidentally touch her as he worked.

Louisa knew it was silly, but she yearned even for that kind of contact—a casual brush of his elbow against her arm, the slight nudge of his knee against hers. Their short-lived marriage might not have been wedded bliss throughout, but their passion for each other had always been incredible. Which was probably why she ached for the simplest touch from him, just to experience a bit of that old spark again.

Out of the darkness came, “Lou?” Gabe’s hands had stopped working. His soft breathing whispered nearby.

“Hmm?”

“You remember?”

He’d read her mind. She slowly let out her breath. “Of course.”

The silence reached between them, wrapping them in its embrace.

“It was great between us, wasn’t it?” he said.

“It was.”

More silence.

“Lou?”

“Hmm?”

“I wish—” His voice cut off, choked up.

They were just two words, but they conveyed volumes to Louisa. He wished life were simpler, less painful. He wished they could go back in time before their world was torn apart and they’d become strangers.

She reached across the black space between them, finding Gabe’s hands in his lap. Placing her hand softly over one of his, she whispered, “I know, Gabriel. Me too.”

She listened to his ragged breathing. She listened to hers. She didn’t know what she wanted to happen, if anything. The faucet across the room dripped, dripped, dripped into the silence.

Finally, Gabe turned his hand over in his lap and intertwined their fingers. Louisa held her breath as he lifted her hand. His warm exhalation caressed the tips of her fingers. Without seeing him, she knew his eyes were closed. Without feeling her tears, she knew she was crying. His lips brushed her knuckles, then he gently released her hand.

He began to walk the reel again.
Click. Click. Click.

Chapter Seven

Seeing Gabe’s reflection in the computer monitor, Louisa saved her work with a two-key command on the keyboard. “You done?” she asked, swiveling in her chair.

He nodded. “How about you? Ready to wrap it up?”

“Not quite yet.” She nodded to the computer behind her. “We’re beta testing a new software program, and it’s easier to concentrate when no one else is around.”

He glanced at his watch. “Lou, it’s almost eleven. Can’t you do that another night?”

She could, but she wanted to do it tonight. Anything to stay away from her bed. And traitorous thoughts about
him
. She shook her head. “I’m in line for a big promotion. To art director.” She held up her crossed fingers. “I figure if I can get a jump on this new program, it might give me brownie points with the bosses.” She moved the mouse over the pad and right clicked. Nothing happened on the monitor like it was supposed to.

“Art director, huh? Sounds impressive.”

She giggled. “Well, I think it’s just a fancy way of saying more stress and responsibility. But of course, more money too.”

She turned back to the screen. Maneuvering the mouse, she clicked the button and screwed up for about the zillionth time. She flicked the screen with her fingers and growled at her computer. “Damn thing hates me.”

“Can you talk and work at the same time?”

At her nod, he asked, “With these long hours you’re putting in, do you ever have time to draw and paint? You know, like you used to?”

Louisa’s hands stilled on the keys a moment. “I spend all day being creative here, the last thing I want to do is be creative at home. I haven’t picked up a pastel or a paintbrush in ages.”

“That’s too bad, Lou. You had a lot of talent.”

“I like to think my talent’s not being wasted here.” Her tone was more defensive than she’d expected.

“You know that’s not what I meant. I just think it’s a shame you’ve let your art slip away from you.”

She shrugged. “I’ll pick it up again someday, but right now I’m really focused on my job. It takes all the energy and creativity I can muster most days.”

She returned her attention to her work, effectively putting an end to the conversation. Gabe had touched a nerve. Fine art had been her passion for as long as she could remember. But it was like her parents and the college career counselor said—
You can’t make a living with a paintbrush.
They were probably right, and she’d made a successful design career out of her talents, but a small part of her still regretted she’d followed her head so many years ago instead of her heart.