Delphi Works of Ford Madox Ford (Illustrated) (17 page)

‘Don’t be rude, or you shan’t succeed,’ said the voice.

‘If I don’t succeed the Princess will never become Queen of the kingdom.’

‘How can she become Queen of the
king
dom? — it would have to be a queendom. And I don’t see, if you do succeed, how she is to become Queen!’

‘As I’ve said before,’ said the Prince, ‘you’re excessively dull if you don’t see.’

‘I shall tell her what you said.’

‘Oh, do anything you like, only leave me alone, do,’ said the Prince, who by this time was quite in a temper.

So she let him alone, and made no answer when he wanted her to talk again. However, in a few minutes Ablot came into the square, followed by a large number of men, whom she heard him command to surround the Palace, which they accordingly did; and then, choosing five men, he and the Prince entered the Palace, Ernalie following them, for she didn’t know exactly what else to do. The first of the Palace guards they came to was fast asleep, and they did not molest him; but the second one was awake, and so was the third one. These two made some resistance, but they were soon knocked down and bound; but that was not much good, for they made such a noise that they would soon have brought the household about their ears, only it happened to be Saturday and all the servants were having a half holiday, and the only effect of the shouting was to bring King Mumkie out on to the landing. He had been sitting up to let the servants in when they came home, and he was in rather a bad temper.

‘What the deuce are you making such a noise for?’ he shouted to the guards.

But as the guards had been gagged by this time, they could only gurgle hopelessly.

‘Why don’t you answer?’ roared the King. But the guards made no reply, and the King came running down to see what was the matter. He was holding a candlestick above his head, and the light that fell on his face showed that he was in a very great rage indeed. When he saw the Prince in the hall he stopped, and said:

‘What do you want making this unearthly row at this time of night?

Every one’s in bed, and I shall catch my death of cold coming down in my dressing-gown into this cold hall. Now, just go off — do, and leave me alone.’

‘I shall not,’ answered the Prince. ‘Why not? What do you want at this time of night?’

‘I want the throne!’

‘Then you can’t have it; it’s a reserved seat, and I’ve taken it already.’

‘But what right have you to it?’

‘I’m the sovereign,’ said Mumkie.

‘You’re a false coin then — you’re not
half
a sovereign!’

‘I’m quite as good as the last sovereign. He’s lost the crown, so he’s only worth fifteen shillings.’

‘Well, fifteen shillings is three crowns, and you haven’t got one.’

‘Yes, I have.’

‘Well, then, you won’t have it long.’

‘I shall have it to the end of my life.’

‘Not if I can help it,’ retorted the Prince.

‘But you can’t help it.’

‘Why not, pray?’

‘Well, you can’t, unless you scalp me, — it’s the crown of my head I mean.’

‘Well, then, I’ll have your head cut off.’

‘I shall die then, so I shall keep the crown until I die. Besides, I shall have your head cut off instead, for I’ll call out the soldiers.’

‘That’s no good. They’re all on my side,’ answered the Prince.

‘Then it’s all up with me. As Julius Cæsar says — let’s see, what did he say, now? — ah yes!’ and he began to roar ‘A horse! a horse! my kingdom for a horse!’

‘You’ll make
yourself
hoarse if you go on roaring like that. Besides, your share of the kingdom isn’t worth a horse — it’s not even worth a horse- chestnut.’

‘That’s rather old,’ said the King. ‘However, what are you going to do with me?’

‘I’m going to turn you into what you wanted to turn my father into. You shall have his cottage and all the live - stock and implements thereto appertaining.’

‘What does that mean?’ asked the astonished Mumkie.

‘Oh, find out,’ said the Prince. And he found out eventually.

The Prince now gave orders that he should be taken to the coal-cellar and locked in there for fear of escape. And so the poor old man was led off, muttering to himself, ‘Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.’

But the Prince answered:

‘Well, you needn’t talk; your head doesn’t wear a crown.’ And from that time forth it didn’t.

While this was being done, the Princess had noticed that a man had been stealing round the corner. He was standing close beside her now, and he seemed quite unconscious of her presence. The Princess looked at him.

‘He must be one of the five they brought in with them,’ she said to herself. So she counted; but to her astonishment she found there were six of them — with him.

‘He must be some one belonging to the Palace,’ she thought, ‘and he may be up to some mischief.’ So she watched him closely. It was evident that the rest thought he was one of themselves, for they took no notice of him in particular.

The man, however, seemed quite innocent; but the Princess noticed that he was fingering a pistol that he had in his belt in a most suspicious way. So she kept quite close to him while they descended the stairs to the cellars. And she was right; for, in the twinkling of a bed-post, he drew the pistol from his belt and aimed straight towards the Prince. But before he could draw the trigger, she lifted up her hand and gave him such a box on the ear that, in his astonishment and pain, he dropped the pistol altogether, and it exploded harmlessly. As for the man, he was so astonished that he sat down on the floor with his mouth and eyes wide open, looking like an expiring frog.

At the report of his pistol every one turned, and Ablot noticed him for the first time.

‘Why, who are you?’ he said.

But the man only gasped.

‘Who is he?’ asked the Prince of the men.

‘We thought he was one of us,’ they all answered in astonishment.

‘Who are you?’ asked the Prince.

But he only gasped on in silence.

‘Stick a pin into him, and see if that will bring him to.’ And a man was just going to do it when he said, in a gruff voice:

‘Don’t; I’m Wopole.’

‘Oh, you’re Wopole. And who’s he?’ asked the Prince.

‘I used to be the falconer of the late tyrant, now sojourning in the coalhole there.’

‘Oh! and so you tried to shoot me?’

‘Not at all, your Majesty. I was only firing a royal salute to show my joy at your ascent to the throne.’

‘That’s not true,’ said the voice of the Princess, so suddenly that every one started and the falconer collapsed again.

‘I’ve a good mind to have your head cut off,’ said the Prince, who by this time had grown used to the voice. ‘However, I’ll just put you in the coal-hole along with your late master.’

Wopole having been accordingly put into the hole, everything seemed quiet; and as it was getting late, the Princess thought she would leave them. She therefore returned as fast as she could, and getting into bed slept soundly till morning.

She did not awake until long after her usual hour, for you see she was not used to being out so late, and she was only roused in the morning by the Queen knocking at the door.

‘Ernalie! Ernalie!’ she called;
‘get up. It’s half-past seven. You ought to have been up this two hours.’

She got up as fast as she could; and when she had laid the table, the King and Queen came down.

‘I wish you’d knock at Treblo’s door and tell him we’re waiting breakfast for him,’ the Queen said to Ernalie, and she accordingly went; but she couldn’t get any answer, and she went downstairs once more and told them he seemed to be out.

‘Where can he be?’ asked the King.

‘I rather think he’s gone out for a walk,’ suggested the Princess.

‘It’s funny; he usedn’t to be fond of getting up so early. Just go to the door and see if he is coming across the fields.’

Ernalie obediently went to the door, and shading her eyes from the glare of the sun, looked over the fields towards the road.

She came back quickly.

‘I can’t see him,’ she said; ‘but there’s a whole lot of people coming across the field.’

The King looked vexedly astonished. ‘What on earth do they want?’ he said. ‘It must be some fresh trick of Mumkie for bothering me.’

However, by this time the people had reached the garden gate, and they could hear a man’s step on the gravel- walk. It stopped at the door, and a knock was heard.

‘Come in,’ cried the King; and the man entered, bowing profoundly.

When the King saw who it was he looked surprised, and said:

‘Why, Lord Corax, what do you want with me?’

‘I have come to receive your Majesty’s orders,’ said the man in a singularly hoarse voice.

The King looked still more astonished.

‘My orders! What
do
you mean?’

‘I mean your Majesty’s orders for the management of affairs,’ said the man, with a still deeper obeisance.

A light broke on the King’s face.

‘Oh! that’s what you mean, is it?’ he said.

‘It is, your Majesty,’ answered the courtier, bowing once more.

‘It strikes me you’re rather late in the day coming here, aren’t you?’ asked his Majesty.

The courtier pulled out a large watch.

‘It is, I believe, at the present moment thirty-five and a half minutes after eight A.M., your Majesty. At eight precisely I received orders from your Majesty’s son to come hither, bringing with me your Majesty’s coach and guard of honour. Likewise a person, by name Mumkie, who is for the future to inhabit this cottage, and to enjoy the privilege of using for his own purposes all the live stock — sheep, oxen, kine, sows, pigs, cocks, hens—’

Here the King” interrupted him. ‘That is enough. Tell them to get the carriage ready for three, and send Mumkie to me.’

‘Just so, your Majesty,’ said the courtier, and departed on his errand.

When he had gone the King said to the Queen and Ernalie:

‘Now, my dears, run up and put on your best things, and, Araminta, just see if our crowns are
very
tarnished. We ought to make our triumphal entry in state, for we are reinstated. And, by the bye, see if you’ve got an old coronet of Treblo’s that will fit Ernalie.’

‘What for, your Majesty?’ asked Ernalie in surprise.

‘For you to wear, of course,’ said the King.

‘But what do I want with a crown? I have to stop here with Mumkie — Pm part of the live stock.’

‘Good gracious! what do you mean?’ said the King and Queen together.

‘Well, you see, the agreement between your son and Mumkie was that Mumkie should have
all
the live stock of the farm, and as I’m alive I suppose I’m part of the live stock.’