Delphi Works of Ford Madox Ford (Illustrated) (33 page)

Then when she had finished, the herons snapped their bills; and the gulls cried, “Kea-ah;” and the peewits, “Peewit;” and the geese hissed, with their necks stretched out — but that too signified applause.

As for the frogs, they made haste to spring with a plop into the rushes, without any applause at all; but that was because the herons had opened their eyes and were stalking towards them.

So the Queen was very much beloved in the bird-meadow, and the gulls would come out of the shining pools to greet her when she came in the freshness of the morning, and the herons would lay fish at her feet, and the peewits would perch upon her shoulder and fly round her bead, and the whirr of wings was everywhere. But the geese were her guard of honour.

One morning before they set out for the bird- meadow, whilst the Queen was engaged in tidying up the hut, the geese suddenly set up a most terrible hissing and quacking.

“Dear me!” the Queen said, “there’ll be a terrible rain-storm soon.”

But at that moment the old grey gander came running excitedly into the hut.

“There’s a man — two men — three men coming,” he said, quite out of breath.

The Queen said, “Good gracious I and my hair in such a state!”

But she went to the door all the same.

There, sure enough, she saw three men coming one after the other. The first two were quite near, but the third was a great way off, though he appeared to hop along over the dunes in a most remarkable manner. He seemed to be habited in a suit of black, and carried a black bag; but he was still a great way off, and the Queen turned her attention to the other two, who were now quite close to her.

The first one was a handsome, very bronzed young man, in a suit of shining armour, that, to the Queen’s critical eyes, did not seem to fit him to perfection; whilst the second, a delicate-looking, haughty youth, with a very fair skin, was habited in a shepherd’s coarse garments, and carried a crook and a sling at his side.

The man in armour bowed a clumsy sort of “Good morning;” whilst the shepherd bowed in a most courteous and elegant manner.

“Good morning, fair madam. Is Mrs. Hexer at home?”

The Queen said, “No, there’s no one of that name living here.”

“Dear me,” the man in armour said, “how annoying! I am the — the Prince of Kamschkatka, and this is a shepherd of Pendleton.” He said it in a great hurry, just as you might say a newly learned lesson.

But the shepherd of Pendleton said, “Ah, perhaps Mrs. Hexer does not live here.”

The Queen said, “No, she doesn’t; I live here.”

“What,
alone!”
they both said.

And the Queen answered, “No; I live with my geese.”

The shepherd said, “Oh, then perhaps you could tell us where Mrs. Hexer
does
live.”

“I’ve never heard of her,” the Queen said.

“
What!
never heard of Mrs. Hexer?” they both said.

“The famous witch who has the well of the Elixir of Life,” the prince said But the shepherd said, “Of love.”

The mention of “witch” brought something to the Queen’s mind.

“There used to be a horrible old woman who lived here with a great black cat,” she said. “Perhaps
she
was Mrs. Hexer; but she disappeared some time ago.”

“That must have been her,” the prince said.

And the shepherd continued, “Ah, if you would let us sit for a while on the coping of your well, or even give us a draught of its water, we should be infinitely obliged to you.”

The Queen said, “Oh, you’re very welcome,” and turned into the house to get her bucket, when she was astonished to see a coal-black thing with horns and a long tail sitting in the very middle of her fire.

She rubbed her eyes in surprise, and when she looked again there was only a gentleman, clad in an elegant suit of black, with his coal- black hair carefully parted in the middle and falling in sinuous lines on either side of his forehead. He held his hat in one hand, and in the other a black bag and long narrow book.

“Oh, good morning, Mrs. Hexer,” he said. “You will excuse my liberty; but I saw you were agreeably engaged, and so I took the opportunity of slipping in by the back way.”

“I didn’t know there was a back way,” the Queen said.

“The chimney, I should have said, Mrs. Hexer,” the gentleman said.

“But I’m not Mrs. Hexer,” the Queen replied.

“No, indeed,” the gentleman answered. “The elixir has had a most remarkable success in your case. A photograph of you now would be a most valuable advertisement — before taking and after. I suppose you haven’t got one of your former state?”

“But I tell you I’m not Mrs. Hexer,” the Queen said.

Whereupon the gentleman became a shade more serious.

“You have exactly five minutes more life,” he said, after having consulted one of those keyless watches that never seem to have had enough winding. He laid down his hat and bag, and looked carefully in his book. “Is this not your signature?”

The Queen said, “Good gracious, no; and I’m not going to sign anything more.”

“You’ve signed quite enough in this,” the gentleman said.

“But I tell you I never signed it,” the Queen replied.

“Oh, nonsense, Mrs. Hexer,” the gentleman said. “Come, your time is nearly at hand.”

“It’s nothing of the sort,” the Queen said.

And the gentleman bowed. “You know best, Mrs. Hexer,” he said. “There’s one more minute.”

The Queen waited to see what would happen.

The seconds passed by, and the Queen’s heart beat. Then the gentleman tore the page out of his book, at the dotted line, and put the book in the bag.

“By-the-bye,” he said, “what’s become of the cat?”

The Queen said, “It disappeared with the witch.”

The gentleman looked at his watch. “Time’s up, Mrs. Hexer,” he said, as he put it back in his pocket “By virtue of this document, signed by your blood—”

“It isn’t my blood,” the Queen said, when, all of a sudden, the hut vanished away over her head, and she found herself standing in the open air among the sand-dunes, amid a large crowd of people; whilst the two men, shepherd and prince, were lying tumbled on the sand, for the well on which they had been seated had disappeared.

But the most astonishing thing was what happened to the gentleman in black, for he suddenly changed into a black demon and advanced roaring towards her, until something seemed to stop him, and he changed just as suddenly back into the gentleman that he had been before.

“I see there has been some mistake,” he said, bowing and placing his hand upon his heart. Then he knelt upon the ground. “Be mine! be mine!” he said. “Oh, most adorable maiden, be mine; marry me, and I will reform; I’ll give up smoking; I’ll never swear; I’ll — I’ll go to church — only marry me.”

“I can’t,” the Queen said. “Don’t be ridiculous and kneel; I never let the Regents kneel.”

“You can marry me — you can,” the gentleman said. “I can marry while I’m on earth. Of course, down below it’s different. But I’ll keep regular hours; I’ll be most respectable — I will, if you’ll only marry me.”

“I tell you I can’t,” the Queen said; “I don’t know what I’ve done to make you go on in this ridiculous way.”

“It’s the elixir. You’ve been drinking it, you know,” the demon gentleman said; “and so I can’t help it. But if you won’t marry me, madam, perhaps we can do a little business in my line. I pride myself that my system is the very best — the seven years’ purchase system, you know.”

“I don’t understand you at all,” the Queen said.

“Why, it’s very simple. You give me what I — want, and I will re-erect for you the desirable family residence that stood here, with all its advantages — the delightfully secluded spot, the landscape, the well of pure water, and the fowl- house with its stock of geese. Come, let me fill you up a form.”

“Yes, but what do I have to do for it?” the Queen said.

And he answered, “Oh, a mere trifle — only a formality.”

“But what
is
it?”

“Oh, you only give me your soul — it’s nothing at all.”

“My soul!
” the Queen said. “Certainly not.”

“But I’ll make you rich,” the gentleman said.

“I’m quite rich enough already,” the Queen answered.

“I’ll make you powerful — make you a great queen.”

“I’m one already, thanks,” the Queen said.

“I’ll give you a broom that you can fly on,” the gentleman remarked.

“I can fly without a broom,” the Queen said.

“I’ll let you drink the elixir,” he went on.

“I’ve had quite enough already,” the Queen said.

The demon gnashed his teeth. “Then you won’t trade?” he said.

“Certainly not,” the Queen answered.

“And you won’t marry me?”

“Certainly
not!” the Queen said.

There was blue flame, and a great pillar of sand shot up into the air. The wind carried it slowly away — the gentleman in black had disappeared.

“Come, that’s something!” the Queen said, with a sigh of relief, when her eye fell suddenly on the crowd of people that were standing looking at her. They were mostly standing on one leg. “Why, whoever are you?” she said.

And a grey-haired man answered, “We are — that is, we were — the geese. I am the oldest of them, and, as such, let me remind you that a ripe man is by far the best one to marry. Oh, maiden, many
me!”

But a perfect storm of voices went up. “No; marry me! I’m—”

But the Queen held up her hand to command silence.

“Don’t make such a fearful noise. I can’t even hear myself think. I’m not going to many any of you, though you were very nice, dear geese, and I was very fond of you.”

“No; the lady is going to marry me!” a voice said, and the man in shepherd’s clothes stept forth.

“No, marry me!” the man in armour said.

“I’m a prince. I will make you a princess,” the man in shepherd’s clothes said.

“I’m a shepherd,” the man dressed like a prince said. “A shepherd is a far better match for a goose-girl than a prince is.”

“But why were either of you so deceitful?” the Queen said. “Because it’s so ridiculous. You don’t look like a shepherd, prince — your skin is much too fair; and you are much too brawny to be a prince, shepherd.”

“Well, I thought it was not quite respectable for a prince to be seen visiting a witch, and so I changed clothes with the shepherd here.”

“And I changed clothes with the prince because I had seen you from afar, and had loved you; and because I thought a prince would hare seemed more splendid than a common shepherd.”

“But you were both wrong to try to deceive me,” the Queen said. “As for you, prince, I will not many you to be made a princess, for I am a Queen already; and for you, shepherd, I will not marry you to become a shepherdess, for I — am goose-girl already, though my flock has turned back from its goose-shape again. But how did you become geese, anyhow?” she asked of them.