Denial (20 page)

Amy jerked her hand away. Her heart raced. Aware that her temper was building, she took a moment. “You don’t seem to get what I’m actually saying to you, Celeste.” Her shoulders stiffened. “I don’t care what you can’t hide. I love the life I have and a…fling with you is not part of it.” She couldn’t help but look around before fixing her eyes on Celeste. “There is no way that I’m going to risk everything I have to satisfy a basic biological itch.” She looked into Celeste’s eyes, and wondered why this woman affected her so. “Why Celeste?” she asked. “Why me, when you can have anyone?”

“Don’t you think, I’ve asked myself that same question a thousand times already?” Celeste looked at Amy intently. “All I know for sure, Amy, is I’ve been left hanging since that first night in your apartment. I need to feel right again. I…
we
…need this to happen.”

“I can’t believe you want to have an affair!” Amy said in disbelief. “Do you know what you’re asking?” Amy placed both hands on the table. “What about morals and integrity, and caring about family. What about all those things that are supposed to matter?”

Celeste frowned. “They’ve been compromised already, Amy.”

Amy shook her head, and leaned back. Feeling suddenly exhausted and overwhelmed, she said, “I just don’t understand it.” 

“The last thing I want to do is tear our family apart and we won’t, if we’re careful. This…attraction…is strong, too strong to keep fighting it.” For the first time, Amy heard a note of vulnerability in Celeste’s voice. “I’ve stayed away for years because of it. How else can we move past it?”

With those words, Amy realized they were both trapped, caught in this strange world of desire. A thought crossed her mind; that maybe had they met first, things might have been different. But, aware that there was no going back, she quickly closed the door on that thought.

Deciding she’d had enough, Amy said, “No matter how we rationalize it, it’s wrong. I couldn’t live with myself. To deliberately do this to Josh would be unforgivable. I’m sorry.” Pushing back her chair, she picked up her purse. “But I can’t.”

Celeste stood. Grabbing Amy’s hand.

A surge of electricity shot up Amy’s arm. Her eyes widened in surprise.

Celeste looked into Amy’s eyes. She gently stroked her thumb across the back of her hand. “Do you feel that?” she asked, as her other hand slid around the nape of Amy’s neck and pulled her close.

Celeste’s warm breath caressed the side of her face. She whispered into Amy’s ear almost hungrily, “This can’t be ignored, Amy. If we don’t do something about it, it will only intensify.”

The ache between Amy’s legs grew. She pulled away, but the hairs on the back of her neck crackled. Realizing how much she wanted this woman, she looked at Celeste and, unable to hide her vulnerability, asked, “And when it’s over?” Her voice broke. “When you’ve finished with me? Who will pick up the pieces then?”

Celeste’s hazel-green eyes gazed back, but she didn’t answer.

Amy strode out of the restaurant.

Chapter 26

Amy tapped her foot and looked at her watch. For the last few minutes, she had been standing outside Celeste’s apartment door with a finger hovering over the buzzer. “I can’t do this,” she muttered. “I can’t talk to her, not right now!”

When she got back to the office after their disastrous lunch, Josh had called to ask if she had met with Celeste. He queried whether his sister had taken her to the Italian restaurant that Amy liked, and most importantly, he wanted to know that they had sorted things out.

Unable to tell him the truth Amy cut the call short, telling him that she had a meeting to attend and would talk to him tonight. After she hung up, she realized that this was no way to handle things. Knowing that she couldn’t continue to be on red alert every time Celeste was around, she recognized that things would go from bad to worse if they didn’t find a resolution.

Unable to concentrate on her work,
Amy stared out the window. She knew for sure that they couldn’t go on like this. Particularly, now that Josh had a heightened awareness of the situation. If the tension continued between them, it wouldn’t be long before everyone noticed it, and began drawing their own conclusions. Accepting that they needed to speak and find some sort of closure
, she decided to call Celeste and ask if they could meet to discuss the situation.

On the phone, Celeste readily agreed to meet but asked if Amy would come to her apartment as she was cooking for friends that evening.
Amy hesitated about the location, but reasoned that they weren’t animals; surely they could rise above this?

Amy agreed. When she hung up she felt confident that all that was needed was some common ground, which they would surely find if they talked.

But now, standing outside Celeste’s apartment, talking things through didn’t seem such a good idea after all. Amy was losing her nerve. Her cell phone rang.

Quickly, Amy rummaged through her shoulder bag and retrieved it. Maybe, she thought, it’s a client and I’ll have to go. Smiling hopefully, she answered, “Hello?”

Celeste’s apartment door opened.

Smiling, Celeste spoke into her phone. “Hello,” she said, hanging up. “When I dialed your number, I heard a phone ring. Glad you could make it.”

Celeste motioned for Amy to come in.

Amy slowly entered. Closing the door, she followed Celeste into the kitchen. She stopped at the kitchen entrance.

“Would you like to see the place?” Celeste asked.

Amy shook her head. “No.” Her nostrils flared when the exotic smells coming from the marinating meat on the counter filled them.

Celeste removed a bottle of red wine from the rack.

“What are you cooking?”

“Vietnamese,” Celeste replied, uncorking the wine.

“Oh…nice.”

Celeste removed two glasses from the shelf and placed them on the counter. “I spent a few months touring Southeast Asia a few years ago,” she said, pouring wine into a glass. “I fell in love with the place and the food.”

“You like cooking, don’t you?” Amy asked, recalling the meals that Celeste had prepared for them during her stay.

“Very much,” Celeste replied. “If you don’t want to look around maybe you’ll join me?” She held out a glass of wine.

Amy shook her head. “No,” she replied. “I’ve got the car.”

“One glass, Amy,” Celeste countered dryly. “Not the bottle.”

Amy’s face reddened.

Celeste held the glass of wine in her hand and raised an eyebrow. “It might help relax you.”

Annoyed, Amy retorted, “I am relaxed.”

“Look, take the glass. Then it’s up to you whether you drink it or not. Okay?”

Amy nodded and took the glass.

Celeste poured wine into the other glass, then brushed past Amy and made her way into the lounge.

Amy had no choice but to follow.

Standing barefoot, Celeste looked out the large window.

Amy stood behind her.

As the moments ticked by, Celeste continued to look out the window.

Amy, feeling increasingly awkward, took a gulp of wine, then another before carefully placing the glass, her cell phone, and car keys on the coffee table. Putting her shoulder bag down, she braced herself. “Celeste, we need to talk,” she said. Taking the bull by the horns she added, “I’ve tried to explain to you that I can’t embark on…on…” she paused. “I can’t do what you suggested at lunch today.” She hesitated when Celeste turned around and looked at her. Deciding the best tactic was honesty, she dropped her eyes and said, “Regardless of what the reason is or how… attracted I am to you, I simply can’t.”

Waiting for a response, Amy lifted her eyes and looked at Celeste.

Celeste held Amy’s gaze. “Amy, do you want it to continue for years?” she asked, putting her wineglass down. “Whether you like it or not, this
thing
between us is not going to go away.”

Amy countered, “This is just chemistry we’re talking about, right?”

Celeste didn’t respond.

Amy carried on, “We don’t need to behave like animals. Surely, we can control our basic biological urges?”

“Is that right, Amy?” Celeste responded quietly, dangerously. She stared at Amy with a look of smoldering desire; a look that made it clear exactly what she wanted. “Then let’s put it to the test.”

Celeste moved quickly into Amy’s space. The look on her face was one of intense hunger. Taking Amy’s left hand, she placed it directly on her breast.

Amy tried to pull her hand away, but Celeste held it. She laced her fingers through it then manipulated both their hands.

Amy felt the full weight of Celeste’s breast. Surprised by the sensual feel and softness, her heart tried to beat its way out of her chest when, nipple hardening, Celeste groaned.

Immediately, all the fight left Amy.

While Celeste worked their fingers over her breast, her other hand unbuttoned her top.

Amy’s head spun. She drew in a deep breath. She was scared. What Celeste was able to stir in her was frightening. Who this woman was should have stopped her dead in her tracks, but it didn’t. Eyes wide, she watched the final button pop open.

Celeste lifted their entwined hands and slowly ran them down her throat, past her cleavage and all the way down her stomach. Stopping at the belt around her black jeans, she slowly moved their hands back up.

Amy’s eyelids fluttered closed.

“Look at me,” Celeste demanded, her voice thick.

Amy opened her eyes wide. She was mesmerized.

Celeste dropped her own hand.

An intense wave of desire filled Amy. Instinctively, she cupped Celeste’s breast. Feeling its weight rest in her hand, she ran a thumb lightly over the nipple and watched it stiffen.

Celeste gasped.

Enthralled, Amy fondled Celeste’s breast, and watched her reaction.

Groaning, Celeste’s dark hair wisped over her bare, tanned shoulders as she slid off her top.

“You’re breathtaking,” Amy whispered.

To Amy’s surprise, Celeste blushed. “Thank you.”

Their eyes locked. A moment of intimacy passed between them. Amy dropped her eyes to Celeste’s breasts. The urge to take Celeste’s nipple into her mouth too strong, she placed her hands on Celeste’s hips and lowered her mouth. Taking the nipple between her teeth, she felt the areola pucker. She bit gently before sucking.

Celeste gasped. Her body arched then shuddered. Amy smiled faintly. The move was obviously unexpected.

Celeste loosened Amy’s hair and ran her fingers through it. She rested her hand on the back of Amy’s head and pressed her closer.

Captured, Amy listened to Celeste’s labored breathing, taking intense delight in hearing small gasps whenever she ran her tongue around her nipple. Confidence growing, she sucked in as much of Celeste’s breast as possible, her tongue loving the weight of it as she worked it around the nipple.

Celeste slipped her thigh between Amy’s legs and Amy began to grind.

Amy felt strong, demanding fingers tug her shirt from her trousers. With a sense of urgency Celeste unbuttoned some of the shirt then impatiently ripped the rest open. Running her hands up Amy’s stomach, she cupped her breasts.

A bolt of electricity hit between Amy’s thighs, forcing her to press down hard on Celeste’s thigh. “Uggghhh.”

Removing her leg from between Amy’s thighs, Celeste whispered, “Slow down.”

Amy almost dropped to her knees at the loss. She removed her mouth from Celeste’s breast and whispered throatily, “But I’m almost there!”

“I know,” Celeste said, stroking Amy’s hair. “But I want you to touch me.”

Celeste quickly unbuckled her belt then unbuttoned her jeans, pushing them and her black satin briefs over her hips.

Amy watched Celeste undress.

Standing naked, Celeste slid her arm around Amy’s waist. With her other hand, she took Amy’s wrist and guided her hand. “Touch me.”

A jolt of reality hit Amy and she tried to pull her hand away but Celeste held her wrist. Firming her grip, she parted her thighs further, giving full access.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Celeste,” Amy whispered.

“I need to feel you touch me, like this, now, Amy,” Celeste said urgently. “I have waited so long. I can’t wait any longer.”

Breathing heavily, Amy tried to pull her hand away but Celeste pushed her wrist further between her thighs.

Their eyes locked. Amy sucked in her breath. She tensed when a film of wetness formed over her fingers. She rubbed her thumb over her fingers, and let out her breath. To her surprise, Celeste’s wetness felt sensual.

Celeste, looking vulnerable and shaking slightly, pleaded, “Please, Amy. I can’t wait.”

Amy’s knees weakened as she slid her fingers in.

Celeste groaned. She pressed her head against the side of Amy’s and wrapping her arms around her murmured, “I need this. I need you.” She caught the tip of Amy’s earlobe with her mouth and sucked it. “I’ve thought of nothing else.” She nuzzled Amy’s neck. “You’re the only thing on my mind.”

Rocking her hips, Celeste moaned as Amy’s fingers worked her clit.
 

Shuddering with pleasure, Amy was lost to the sounds of Celeste and the feel of her. Heart pounding, she watched Celeste build to orgasm. The sensations running through her were overwhelming. They were… Buzz…buzzz….buzzzzzzz…

Breathing hard, it took Amy a moment to realize that the buzzing noise was her cell phone. “Oh God!”

“Ignore it,” Celeste said, grinding desperately. “Keep going. Amy, don’t stop!”

Amy tried to pull away.

“Amy, don’t!” Celeste cried out.

Amy forcibly pulled away.

“Fuck!”

Moving quickly to the coffee table, Amy snatched up her phone. Wanting to stop the ringing and not thinking clearly, she answered it. Turning, she saw Celeste press her hands between her legs trying to stop the loss of her orgasm.

Clearly too late, Celeste growled loudly in anger.