Denial (27 page)

“But she laughs like a hyena, for God’s sake,” Amy said, her face showing annoyance and amusement at the same time.

“I know,” Celeste replied. “But the qualities that you might find…unappealing are the same qualities that often get many of our team through the day.” She brushed her fingers over Amy’s chest. “Susan is larger than life, and I love her for that.”

“I guess so.” Amy said.

Celeste smiled at Amy’s petulant lip. She did feel slightly guilty that Amy had struggled through the evening. She had built a friendship with the couple separately, but meeting them as a duo for the first time would drive anyone crazy.

“Is it enough to accept that the chance of it happening again is highly unlikely?”

Amy looked at Celeste. A strange, almost wistful, expression crossed her face. She nodded.

“Did you enjoy the exhibition today?”

Amy shrugged. “I couldn’t really focus.”

Celeste nodded. She knew Amy struggled to focus at the gallery. The few times that the artwork had absorbed her, Celeste watched her, adoring what she saw. She recalled Amy’s outfit: a light cashmere V-neck sweater that showed the swell of her breasts beautifully. With her washed-out jeans and her hair down, Amy carried that look of sophisticated casualness that only artisans and the city chic get away with.

Celeste whispered, “At the gallery, you looked beautiful.”

Surprise, then pleasure, filled Amy as she looked at Celeste.

“More than once I had to stop myself from wrapping my arms around you. I loved it when a piece of work intrigued you,” Celeste said, brushing her lips over Amy’s. “Do you know, you have a little habit when something catches your attention?”

“No,” Amy said. “What do I do?”

“Well, you tuck your hair behind your ears, fold your arms and tilt your head, just so,” Celeste tilted her own head to show Amy. “Then you’d catch your bottom lip as you fully absorb the canvas.”

Amy looked at Celeste. Eyelids heavy, she whispered, “Kiss me.”

Amy uttered a groan of pleasure when Celeste’s naked body moved on top of hers and her knees urged her thighs apart. She eagerly opened and spread them wide, wrapping her legs around Celeste, giving her complete access.

The feel of Amy was exquisite. Celeste wanted to savor this—being here, caught, watching this beautiful woman give herself freely. Looking deeply into her eyes, she felt a deep connection. Taking Amy’s hands, she brought them to the edge of the bed. Pinning her down and keeping eye contact, she pushed her hips into her.

Amy gasped and tried to capture Celeste’s mouth. But each time, Celeste teasingly pulled away.
 
Eventually, she let out a low moan of frustration. “Stop teasing, Celeste. I need you to kiss me really, really badly!”

When Celeste didn’t answer, Amy struggled to break free of her grip, but Celeste held her. Enjoying her struggles, she continued to pull away each time Amy tried to kiss her.

“Kiss me, Celeste…
please
.”

“Not yet.”

Celeste’s eyebrows rose when she felt Amy’s wetness begin to cover her lower abdomen. She whispered seductively, “You’re a hungry little tiger, aren’t you?”

Amy growled, then whispered, “Hungry isn’t the word I have in mind. Try craving.” Her eyes narrowed. “I’m craving you. I need a fix. I
need
you, Celeste.” Groaning, Amy’s head fell back. Her lashes fluttered closed. She finished, almost unwillingly, “I need you.”

For the second time, Celeste’s stomach clenched.

Frustrated, Amy pleaded. “Please…I need to taste you.” Her hips surged. “I’ve needed you like this all day.”

Wanting to cherish the feel of Amy trembling underneath her, Celeste slowly put her lips to Amy’s and lightly kissed her.

Impatient, Amy pushed her tongue into Celeste’s mouth. Groaning, Celeste kissed her deeply.

Moaning, Amy’s hips undulated eagerly.
 

Not wanting Amy to come quickly, Celeste stilled and broke the kiss.

Amy groaned into Celeste’s throat. “Don’t stop.”

“Shhh.”

Amy’s head dropped back, closing her eyes, a sigh escaped.

Celeste watched Amy, adoring her. She waited for Amy’s breathing to quiet, for her body to still, before catching her lips again.

Gently, Celeste began thrusting her hips as she explored Amy’s mouth fully.

Amy pulled her mouth away. “Bite…me,” she said, gasping between words.

No longer able to resist, Celeste placed a hand between Amy’s thighs and touched her clit. She kissed down her neck, and at the base, bit hard.

Amy bucked underneath, heels digging into the bed. Crying out, she shuddered long and hard as she climaxed.

Celeste couldn’t help but be amazed at how quickly Amy reached orgasm, and how intense they tended to be. Breathing heavily, she slowed her movements as Amy stilled. The strength of Amy’s orgasm filled her with a sense of elation. She loved the feeling of being here, in bed, with the woman she adored. It felt as if this was her rightful place.

Celeste didn’t want it to be over so soon, but she couldn’t hold off any longer.
 
Urgently, she placed Amy’s hand between her thighs and, closing her eyes, moved against her.

Feeling the first twinges of her orgasm, Celeste opened her eyes to look at Amy. A strong image of Josh making love to Amy pierced her. A shock wave hit her when she realized that this is how incredible Josh must feel. As her mind grappled with the thought, a new emotion ran through her, one of raw naked resentment.

Celeste’s stomach churned as jealousy rode through her body just as her orgasm pushed through. She had no choice but to ride with it. Afterward, breathing heavily, she collapsed on top of Amy.

Chapter 34

Amy struggled to release her trapped hand. Wrapping her arms around Celeste, she smiled, surprised by how much she loved the feel of Celeste on top of her, and loved the film of hard-earned sweat between them. “God, that was incredible,” she said, nuzzling her neck.

Listening to Celeste gulp for air, Amy’s groin clenched as she replayed Celeste building to orgasm. “That was amazing,” she said, stroking Celeste’s hair, unable to believe how quickly her own desire was building again. After a moment, Amy frowned. Sensing something was wrong, she asked, “Are you okay?”

Lifting her head, Celeste frowned. “I…”

To Amy’s complete surprise, Celeste began to cry. Shocked, she put her arms around her comfortingly and held her tight.

Stroking Celeste’s hair until she quieted, Amy lifted her face and kissed her gently. “Sleep with me,” she said tenderly. “I want to hold you tonight.”

Nodding, Celeste slid off Amy and lay on her back.

Turning on her side, Amy wondered why she was so upset. Reaching out to stroke Celeste’s cheek, fascinated, she watched her take control of her emotions.

Eventually, Amy whispered, “When was the last time you cried?”

Wiping the tears, Celeste laughed, and sounding slightly self-conscious, answered, “When I first started with MSF, I cried all the time.” She smiled weakly. “I used to cry out of frustration, in anger, in empathy at the situations people, often with no control, found themselves in, but the last time,” she said looking at Amy, “was with you.”

Amy kissed Celeste tenderly. “Why did you join MSF?”

Celeste looked at Amy. “I wanted to help.” She turned her head and fell silent.

Amy whispered, “Look at me.”

Celeste looked at Amy.

“Tell me.”

“I joined MSF because when I was eight years old, I watched some TV documentary on international relief.” She looked at Amy. “It was as if a light went on in my head and I thought, that’s it, that’s what I want to do.”

Amy smiled when Celeste laughed. “That year, I plagued my parents for a doctor’s uniform, a hospital play set and everything medical, but, like all kids, soon something else caught my attention and I hung up the stethoscope, so to speak.”

Celeste turned fully to face Amy.

Amy smiled, enjoying Celeste confiding in her. “But you went to medical school?”

“Yeah,” Celeste revealed. “I guess the seed was sewn. It wasn’t until I left med school, intending to work that…” She stopped talking and focused on Amy’s lips. Cupping her face, she rubbed her thumb seductively over Amy’s bottom lip.

Not wanting to get sidetracked, and knowing that Celeste didn’t talk about herself much, Amy grasped her hand, “
And
…”

“And,” Celeste answered, amusement flicking across her eyes, “when I graduated, a friend gave me a book on the founder of Médecins sans Frontières and when I read this incredible story, I remembered that was why I went to med school in the first place.”

Amy smiled at her. “As simple as that?” she whispered. “No big complicated story?”

Looking at Amy, Celeste whispered, “Yes.” She kissed her. “As simple as that.”

Amy smoothed Celeste’s hair from her face. “I cry at the drop of a hat,” she shared. “Even more since I had the boys.”

Celeste placed a hand where she had bitten Amy earlier and, stroking the faint marks, asked, “Have you always needed that to bring you to orgasm?”

Surprised by the question, Amy drew in her breath. Aware that they were being open, she made the decision to answer her. “No,” she replied. “I have never needed that…before…before…you.”

Celeste hesitated then asked, “Why do you like it now?”

Amy looked at her. “I like a lot of things I didn’t know I liked.”

“Why that?”

Amy gave it some thought. “I think I like it because the first night it added something.” She eyed Celeste. “I’m not into pain or anything like that, you know.”

Celeste laughed. “I know. That’s not what I’m asking.” She ran her fingers along Amy’s neck and shoulder. “Added something. What?”

Amy’s pulse quickened and her stomach tensed. “It added something to my orgasm.”

“Do you ask Josh to do it?”

Amy’s eyebrows rose in surprise.

“Does he?” Celeste asked, eyeing her intently.

Amy hesitated. “No.”

“Why?”

Amy stared at her.

Celeste repeated, “Why?”

Unsure where this line of questioning was going, Amy replied slowly, “Because I don’t want him to.”

Amy noted relief flicker across Celeste’s features.

“Why do you think that is?”

Amy shrugged and hesitated.
Should we be discussing this?
Hadn’t we agreed that this was a no-go area? Hadn’t we agreed that we wouldn’t talk about Josh, never mind how we made love?

Amy cringed at the thought of discussing how she and Josh made love. The reality of who Celeste was, in relation to Josh, was always lurking around in her mind. It’s bad enough what you’re doing, her inner voice muttered. Don’t start comparing notes!

Amy closed her eyes, wanting to be honest with Celeste, but knowing she couldn’t.

Celeste cupped Amy’s breast lightly and began kissing her throat.

Opening her eyes, Amy moaned. She was being driven to distraction by this woman. She was feeling hot,
very
hot. To her surprise, she really had to fight the urge to place Celeste’s hand between her thighs.

Celeste asked again, “Why?”

Unwilling to give a detailed response, Amy muttered, “Josh and I…it… Well…it’s just different.”

Celeste pushed. “Why is it different?”

“Celeste, I can’t talk to you about that.” Her jaw clenched. “I need you to touch me.”

“Talk to me.”

Amy fought with her internal voice, which was cautioning her to say nothing. Worried that Celeste might leave, and the need for her to stay too strong, she stuttered, “Celeste…I…Josh and I…we’ve…I’ve never felt….” She sighed and ignoring the warning bells in her head said, “I’ve never been this….” She didn’t know what to say. Blanking her mind, she let the words form. “I’ve never been this sexual with him, with anyone.” Her brows rose. “It seems I have no control over my body when it comes to you.”

Amy’s internal voice choked with her disclosure.

A look of satisfaction flickered across Celeste’s eyes. Reaching out, she stroked Amy’s face. “Tell me what it feels like.”

Amy whispered, “Why don’t I show you?”
 

Celeste kissed Amy deeply then replied stubbornly, “Tell me.”

“Och.” Annoyed, Amy balled the bed sheet in her hands.

Celeste rose on her elbow, and propping her head on her hand, drew her thigh over Amy. Deliberately, she made a show of pressing her breasts into her as she stroked up and down Amy’s trembling stomach.

Eyes smoldering, Celeste waited for a response.

Annoyed, Amy huffed. “You’re enjoying this,” she said, kicking her feet out.

Amy knew that Celeste was using her power over her. Her internal chatter turned up the volume and told her to back away, to stop the conversation, stick to the arrangement, avoid the emotional detail; otherwise, closure would be difficult. She opened her mouth to tell Celeste that she’d had enough and wanted to sleep, but instead she whispered, “I’ll tell you, if you’ll touch me.”

Amy’s inner voice sighed.

Celeste ran her fingers lightly down Amy’s hips, down her leg and up the inside of her thighs.

Instantly, Amy opened her legs to allow her access.

Celeste stroked Amy’s clit lightly, teasingly.

Amy groaned.

Celeste’s hand stilled. With her head resting on her palm, she leaned her face close to Amy. “Tell me,” she whispered.

“For God’s sake, stop this!”

Amy was close to losing her temper, but Celeste insisted. “Tell me.”

Amy wanted to scream with frustration, but instead uttered, “The first time with you it should have hurt, but it didn’t.” She reached for Celeste’s breast. Stroking her nipple, she muttered, “It seemed so…”

Celeste groaned. Her breath caught when Amy pinched her nipple. “No, Amy,” she said, pushing her hand away. “No distractions. Answer the question.”

Ignoring her, Amy continued to cup and stroke her breast.

Celeste slid her fingers inside Amy.

Amy’s hand abruptly stilled. She drew her leg up when a jolt passed through her. Moving her hand to grasp the bed sheet, she closed her eyes and pumped her hips.

Celeste slid out of Amy and began stroking her clit, slowly, lightly.

Amy’s eyes fluttered open. She focused on Celeste.

Celeste purred. “You were saying?”

Amy murmured, “Uhmmm…it seemed to heighten my orgasm.” Letting go of the bed sheet, Amy pulled Celeste to her until their lips touched and whispered, “And make it more—” She abruptly stopped speaking when her groin clenched.

Celeste’s hand stilled.

Amy groaned. “Powerful,” she finished then sighed. “Uggghhh.” Forcing herself to speak, she pleaded, “Please, Celeste. Go inside me again.” She kissed her hungrily.

Celeste pulled her mouth away. “Not until you tell me,” she replied, dancing her fingers lightly around Amy’s clit.

“Uhmmm,” Amy said quickly. “Highly aroused,” she whispered against Celeste’s mouth. “My orgasms are powerful with you. Aagghh.” Celeste’s teasing was unbearable. She begged, “Inside me, please.
Please
, Celeste.”

“Tell me more.”

Amy didn’t want to talk anymore.

Celeste’s hand stilled.

In frustration, Amy covered Celeste’s hand with her own. Desperate to keep the momentum, she pressed both their hands into her clit. She stared at Celeste and with her voice deadly serious, said, “Please, Celeste…this is torture.”

Celeste moved Amy’s hand away then rubbed her thumb lightly over her clit, keeping her on the edge.

Amy’s hips rose high with each slight touch.

Celeste asked, “Why do you think there is a such as strong attraction between us?”

Amy didn’t respond.

Celeste stilled her hand.

Amy continued to move her hips.

Celeste asked again, “Why?”

Amy stopped moving and, looking directly into Celeste’s eyes, said in anger, “Celeste, I really don’t know. All I know is that right now I need you.”

Celeste groaned heavily. She stretched out and pressed her full length into her. With her fingers, she opened Amy up and slid inside. Sliding down, she anchored Amy’s thigh between hers, then took a nipple in her mouth and bit it lightly.

“Celeste I—”