Denying Ecstasy (The Guardians of the Realms Series) (12 page)

He’d gone too long without a female if the sight of Elizabeth’s naked body had any effect on him. He would never allow his dick to touch her again. He would finish here and have Angus, his second, take her back to the cell he’d made for her. She couldn’t be trusted outside of it. After his duty was seen to, he would go in search of a female to slake his needs with. He knew better than to wait too long, but with Cyril gone, there had been much to do in cementing himself as the new leader. He’d given many assurances that they would find the answer to the mating curse and fought all the challenges that arose. Most had stayed with Cyril for the promise of a mate, or like Elizabeth, to avoid the wrath of Immortals and Guardians for whatever heinous part they’d played in the Gods’ labs those centuries ago. The minute they went to Cyril’s side, it assured they’d never be accepted again by the others, so in reality they had little choice but to follow Kane.

Much as he disdained his own choices, they were the only ones he’d had. They were finally close to the answers that would make it all worth him having become a monster. He blew out a harsh breath and dropped Elizabeth to the ground. There was work to do. He’d bargained with evil, and he would see it through. He had to.

Chapter 7

Guardian Manor, Tetartos Realm

Rain rolled her shoulders, trying to relieve some of the tension that irritated the crap out of her. She’d taken to avoiding the interior halls and even the courtyard, where so many liked to sit when the weather was so beautiful. That meant taking the back path around the big mansion to the door she’d used to escape from Dorian the day before. She hated what her existence had become. She’d never snuck around like that in her life, always facing life head-on. Lack of sleep and the thought of catching the sultry or cocky grins from the Immortal staff members changed that. She hated that they scented her constant arousal and assumed it was for them. They weren’t privy to the fact that she was Dorian’s mate. Claimed or not, Sirena suggested keeping that information quiet.

Her symptoms were officially getting worse. Before it would hit at awkward times; now it felt more intense. She needed to ask Sirena if there was anything she could do, if there was anywhere she could go. She needed to get the hell away, but she wasn’t stupid, she needed to be safe. She just wanted to be alone while she suffered, instead of having to put on a happy face for the world when she was a damned mess.

She slipped through the door to the hallway to the infirmary. All doors were magically coded to allow access to only those that were supposed to be there. A few more feet put her in the same place she’d been pinned against the wall and nearly screwed. Shit, she couldn’t even look at the wall without wanting to rub against it. She frowned, thoroughly annoyed at having zero control of her urges. She knocked at the entrance to the infirmary and waited impatiently for Sirena to come and open it. No one else was in the hall for the moment, but who knew how long that would last?

Sirena opened the door. The beautiful female never had a blonde hair out of place, always resembling a petite version of an Earth pin-up girl. Rain wondered if she could pull off that look. She was tired of her purple-tipped blonde hair and had been itching for a change. She was itching for a lot of things…

Sirena frowned at her. “What are you doing here?”

Rain frowned right back at the Guardian. She was in no mood to take crap from anyone. “I have questions.”

Sirena shook her head as if to clear it. “I only meant that I thought you would be with Dorian.” Her gaze morphed quickly to concern. “What happened? Alyssa asked me yesterday, and I told her I thought you were off working through the frenzy.”

She blew out a frustrated breath. “It was a bad plan. I waited for him, wanting answers, but all we did was snap at each other and make out. If I’d have let anything more happen, he would have hated me. I would have hated me. I honestly don’t know if I could mate that asshole if I was dying and screwing him was the only option for my survival,” Rain said with an annoyed bite. She was exhausted. Her sleep had been tormented. She felt unsettled and, oddly… stalked.

She found the nearest stool and sat. “He fought it?” Sirena seemed shocked, and that reaction set off Rain’s defensiveness.

“I fought it.” She felt ridiculous and childish that she’d said it. “Shit, yes, he was fighting it too. He said a lot of shitty things about not wanting a mate, and basically insinuated I was a Guardian groupie wanting him for power and Immortality.” She inhaled deeply, managing to get it all out there without getting hit with all of the feelings that came from remembering all that was said. It had hurt, every damn word somehow striking her nerves.

She’d never been an emotional female, but her life had flipped upside down. She was selling her business, her home and had a mate that was unlike anything she’d ever dreamed. Not in a good way. He was an asshole. An asshole she wanted to jump at the first chance, pride be damned, and she hated herself for that weakness.

Sirena gritted her teeth. “He said that?”

She needed to let it all out. She hadn’t known Sirena long, but felt like they were friends, plus she had insight into all the mating stuff as well as Dorian. “Pretty much, and as much as I wanted to deny every bit of it, a part of me thinks maybe he’s right. I don’t know him. He doesn’t know me and has no desire to get to know me. And I
would
rather be an Immortal with enough power to protect myself and those I care about than a mortal that is weak and a liability.” She fidgeted on the stiff seat. “I don’t want to get old and die. I’ve made the most out of my life, but now I’m supposed to live in hiding because I’m not strong enough to protect myself. If I try to go back to my old life, I risk being taken and used as an experiment or they take me to use me against Alyssa.” She shook her head. Sirena watched her carefully. “That doesn’t mean I’m willing to forgo my pride and open myself up to a male that hates me. I want a male that can’t wait to claim me, not one that is forced to.”

“He doesn’t hate you, Rain. I think there’s a lot going on in his head, but you’re right, he doesn’t know you, so he couldn’t hate you.” Sirena sat down on another stool that was under the counter along the wall.

Rain hadn’t seen or heard anyone else in there. A curtain divided part of the room, and she wondered if Vane was still out cold and recovering there.

“He used to be a completely different male, fun, playful, with way too much energy. When he was betrayed and his friend was killed in front of him, he changed.” Sirena’s eyes filled with sorrow. “Drake thinks it’s because he was denied vengeance for Cahal’s death. The females were killed when we went for him. The bodies were accounted for in the wreckage.” The healer looked away. “I think there’s more to it that Drake hasn’t said. He refuses to push Dorian now, but says he will when the time is right.”

“What do I do? I’m not forcing it. I don’t even think I could live with myself if I went to him again. I refuse to let him fuck me while hating me. The thought alone makes me want to hit something.” Her jaw clamped down tight at the thought. “Have you come up with anything for the symptoms? I’m exhausted and horny as hell. It’s awkward since I’m basically trapped here at the manor. Add that to the new effects I’m feeling today and I’m hating my existence.” She fidgeted in her seat.

“What new symptoms?”

“I feel odd. Something’s going on in my head, and I feel paranoid like I’m being watched.”

Sirena’s blonde brows furrowed. “What exactly happened when he saw you?”

Rain explained what little there was.

“Okay. I’m guessing your links are clicking in place. You’ll start to feel his power too. Do not try to use it.”

Crap, what does that even mean?

“I’ll keep looking for something to dull the effects, but even if we manage it, where does that leave you? I had no idea how hard he’d fight this; Drake did.” Sirena’s eyes held sadness.

“I don’t know about what’s going to happen with any of it, but at least we’d have relief. I wish we could find a way to talk, but he’s in full flight mode. I’m trying to understand what he might be feeling, but he’s such an asshole to me. I haven’t seen one redeeming quality about him. I know its destiny, but she’s being a total bitch.”

“He’s really not an asshole. He’s pushing you away,” Sirena said softly. “He’s loyal and will be a total sweetheart when he finally gets through his issues.”

“Do you really think I’ll see that side before I kill him?” Rain said without humor. If she started getting his power, she would not take responsibility for using it against him if he pissed her off. It actually made her feel marginally better knowing that she would get power even without being fully mated.

“So the weirdness in my mind is the start of a mental link with him.”
Damn, this is really happening.

“Yeah, you’ll be able to talk to him that way.”

She knew that Alyssa was mentally linked to Gregoire and, through that, all the Guardians. “I have to direct the question to him, right? He can’t just get in and take a look around, right?”

“Guardian matings are still new. Yes, you direct your questions to him, but as a Mageia, you might project without thinking about it. Immortals usually have family links and are conditioned young to shield. You’ll likely be mentally open.”

Talking in their minds might actually be a good option. She could have a conversation with him without going insane with lust, but she didn’t like the idea that he might be hearing random thoughts.

“Can I block my thoughts?”

Sirena sat there a moment, seeming to think about it. “Uri should be able to help you with that.” Uri was an Aletheia. That meant he had the best mental skills of all the Immortal races.

“I need to check on Brianne and Vane again. Do you want to wait and we’ll talk some more?”

“Brianne’s here too?” Rain was surprised. Alyssa hadn’t said anything about Brianne being injured.

“She tried to suck the poison from Vane’s wounds, and it affected her too.” Sirena blew out a breath.

Rain could see a hint of worry flash in her eyes before she leveled them out. What wasn’t the healer saying? “Are they going to be okay?” She’d originally felt confident that Vane would be fine. He wasn’t just any Immortal, he was a Demi-God. A little hell-beast bite should’ve been nothing to him… Now she wasn’t so sure.

“They’ll be fine,” Sirena said, a little too fast.

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help,” she offered, not liking that she lacked any skills that might prove useful. She had no purpose in general. In a week her shop would go to a new owner and she’d have nothing.

“I’ve got them covered.” Sirena smiled as she declined Rain’s help.

It didn’t feel right staying when Sirena was obviously busy. Rain had a sick feeling in her gut from the healer’s reactions regarding Brianne and Vane. What was that all about? She shook her head; they would be fine. She needed to talk to Conn. She went down the hallway and upstairs to the room she remembered was the war room and where he said he always worked if she needed him. That had been part of his tour when she moved in. He was so damn sweet to her. She knocked when she finally came to the door.

Conn popped it open in a second, and then frowned. “Rain, are you okay?”

“Actually, I was hoping you could help me.”

“Come in.” He held the door open so she could enter the massive room with electronics everywhere. There were a couple of desks in the back. A huge solid wood table sat in the middle with chairs surrounding it. “What’s wrong?”

She almost snorted. What wasn’t wrong with her situation? It didn’t help to dwell on it. “Is there anywhere else for me to stay? Somewhere that’s still safe but will allow me some privacy. A place to cook so I don’t need to go to the main kitchen.” She bit her lip.

He just stared at her for a second. She knew he scented her arousal, but was sweet enough to ignore it. “I’m really sorry, Rain. He will eventually come to his senses. Don’t give up on him.”

“I don’t even know him. There’s nothing to give up,” she said, and she knew bitterness hung on her words and hated it. She pinched the bridge of her nose. “I just hate that everything’s dependent on what he wants. His emotional baggage. I haven’t had a say in any of it, and everything comes from everyone but him.” Damn it, she didn’t go to Conn to have a pity party. “Never mind. I don’t even want to talk about him. I just don’t want to feel awkward in the halls anymore. Can you help me out?”

She was so damn tired and knew it was only going to get worse.

“There are a couple of cottages on the property, and they’re equipped with small kitchens. I’ll get one set up with food and help you move in there.”

She blew out a relieved breath. Good. A cottage of her own sounded amazing. “Thank you.”

Chapter 8

Guardian Manor, Tetartos Realm

It felt as if she were in a cloud. Her body was weightless. She was dreaming? Brianne looked over the grass and felt a heated connection to the male she saw crouched there. A beautiful white lion with bright sapphire eyes.

He was more dangerous to her than any male had been in her long life. Even now, she itched to know what his fur felt like all over her skin. She’d never experienced a connection like theirs. They’d been playing the same risky game for decades. Those wild bouts of sex to fuel their body’s needs had turned to something else over a month ago.

He changed into his human form as she watched, his bright eyes scanning the beautiful meadow. It was her dream haven and was safe. His gaze landed on her and heated. That look alone made her breasts swell. The gorgeous nude male stalked toward her with the grace of his animal, and she was transfixed by all his muscled beauty. Her stomach clenched. She wanted to launch herself at him as she always did.

“What’s happening?” he growled out. He was frowning instead of thrilled to see her. She narrowed her eyes. He was always happy to see her; she scoffed at his attitude.