Descent (14 page)

‘Of course I do—it was a week ago for me.’

‘Okay. So I pretty much thought I was incapable of doing anything. I thought no one in the world believed in me, or expected anything of me, and it made me feel like crap. All I needed was to prove that I could achieve something, that I could be a part of something. Mia needs that chance too, and telling her she can’t will only make her want to prove that she can.’

‘So you’re saying I should play along and then she’ll give up?’

Harry sighed and shook his head. ‘Jack, man. That’s not what I mean at all. I’ll put it bluntly for you. Stop being a jerk or you’re going to lose her forever.’ Harry’s expression changed as he looked at his friend. ‘Are you okay?’ he asked suddenly. ‘You keep fobbing me off every time I ask, but it’s important, Jack. How are your dreams? Don’t lie.’

Jack hesitated. ‘I’m not lying. Honestly, I’ve had no trouble at all. I’d tell you if I had.’

‘Really?’ Harry looked amazed. ‘That’s ... great! I mean, we need to keep a close eye on it, but it’s a very good sign that you haven’t had trouble so far. Maybe it’s because you’re a Stranger. Maybe we’re immune to the Valkyries. This is a big deal—it could be really helpful. Promise you’ll tell me the second you notice a change?’

Jack nodded mutely. He didn’t know why he was lying, but he knew that if he opened his mouth and spoke the truth, it would make the chill inside his heart grow so cold that it might freeze him to death.

Here it was. Tzenna’s first chance to prove herself, to make them believe that she could care about things like a normal person should.

‘Thor, it is out of the question!’ Tzenna snapped. The boy scowled.

‘I can do what I want. I’m a man.’

She stared at him, letting what she hoped was the appropriate amount of worry mixed with anger arise in her voice. ‘You’re not a man,’ she said. ‘You are far too young to be even considering this!’

‘Why? Boys my age are being conscripted everywhere!’

‘And dying,’ she hissed. ‘If you join the defence force, you will surely die too.’

Élan was sitting silently by the fire. Thor shook his head angrily. ‘You don’t understand—I have skills in these things.’

‘How could you possibly?’ Élan asked.

‘I’ve been training every day after tutoring.’

Tzenna shook her head. ‘Even so—’

Thor held up his hands. ‘Listen to me. I want to fight. And now is the time.’ Thor paused, all the youthful innocence and hope leaving his face. ‘You said that people are dying,’ he murmured, his eyes imploring them both. ‘You said children are dying. Let me help. I
have
to help. I cannot sit by in this time of need and
watch more people die. We should
all
be helping. Don’t you understand?’

Élan sat forward. ‘You are too young, Thor. Surely you see that?’

‘Terret was as young as I am when he became Captain.’

‘Yes, but Terret was ... different,’ Élan said and Thor frowned again.

‘What does age truly matter in a time like this? I am as competent as any man with a weapon. I’m not asking this lightly. It is the duty of the younger son.’

Tzenna blinked at the sudden humility of the boy. He’d only just turned fourteen—the legal age to join the defence force. But everyone knew that joining was suicide. The Valkyries slaughtered scores of boys like him every night. Another of the king’s wonderful strategies.

But looking at the boy, she realised that he was trying to fight for the same thing she was.

‘You truly believe that this is the right thing for you?’ she asked softly, no pretence in her now.

Thor nodded without hesitation.

‘Then what choice do we have?’ she asked her fiancé. Élan spread his hands helplessly.

Thor grinned. ‘Thank you,’ he exclaimed and then dashed from the house, probably to tell his friends that he’d won over his stony future sister-in-law.

Tzenna looked into the fire. Her life had become a series of trivial activities. She was the fiancé of a training scholar, and she hated the dullness. She didn’t know how to progress.

‘What are we going to do?’ Élan asked.

Tzenna considered the best response. It would make things a little easier for her if she didn’t have to worry about a young brother-in-law for a while. Maybe some service would do him good.

‘It is what younger sons do,’ she said reasonably.

Élan looked at her for a long moment, and she wondered if she’d sounded callous. Eventually he nodded. ‘I must get back to the palace. You are all right?’ he asked quietly, always attentive.

For the first time, Tzenna wondered if she should just put away the revenge notion. But the thought was gone as soon as it entered her head.

Life had to lead to something. Revenge was what she had shaped her being around, and to lose it now would be to lose herself.

‘So that was Luca. A Bright One.’ Adon said quietly as he sat down beside Ria on her couch.

Ria nodded, silently. She didn’t know what to think.

‘What was wrong with him?’ Adon asked. ‘He looked—’

‘Scary.’ Ria shivered. ‘I know. I don’t understand.’

Ria’s heart thumped when she thought of why he might be here. He’d said it was work, but did she believe that? He couldn’t possibly be here for her—could he? She didn’t want things to go back to the way they were. It was too long ago, and the memories of that time were too painful. But thinking of Luca, of what they’d once shared, she felt ... sad and awkward.

‘What are you thinking?’ Adon asked.

Ria smiled. ‘Just ... that I’m going to miss you.’

‘I can come back you know. You’re only a day’s ride away.’ He grinned and his teeth glowed in the dim light. When she didn’t reply, his smile faded. ‘You’re still thinking about him, aren’t you?’

Slowly, she nodded.

‘Do you love him?’

Ria sighed glumly. ‘I used to.’

‘And now?’ he pressed.

‘I don’t know.’

He turned away from her.

‘Adon, I’m sorry. I’m not sure what you want from me.’ After a moment she sighed and murmured softly, ‘Bayard.’

He looked at her. ‘You called me Bayard.’

Ria shrugged. ‘Don’t let it go to your head. It won’t happen again.’

Adon sat back against the couch. ‘I’m leaving tomorrow. And I know we aren’t very far away, but there are strange things going on at the moment, and I think that the next few months are going to be important.’

‘Important for what?’

‘I’m not sure. But it means I might not be able to see you for a while.’

She thought about that. ‘I think I’m actually going to miss you,’ she said.

He laughed a little. ‘Don’t sound so surprised.’

‘Sorry, Bayard,’ she said, making him smile again.

One week after his arrival in Burmia, Accolon, looking deathly tired, attended a meeting with Satine. She watched for the signs that everyone now knew to look for. It was easy enough to tell if someone was being attacked in their dreams. The High King’s eyes, she was horrified to notice, were bloodshot and darting.

‘I want someone placed in his chamber tonight, without his knowledge,’ she told her head servant. ‘I want a report in the morning of how he slept.’

So, unbeknownst to him, Accolon did not sleep alone that night. He tossed and turned, wracked by nightmares. The servant could see the signs clearly. What he could not see, what he couldn’t possibly hear, were the words being whispered into the king’s ears, over and over again.

Mia knocked on the door and waited to be admitted. Elixia was sitting behind a large desk, peering at some papers spread before her. She looked up and smiled widely.

‘Hello.’

‘Hi, your majesty.’

Elixia laughed. ‘Please—call me Elixia. This is a nice surprise. What brings you here?’

Mia fidgeted uncomfortably and took the seat that was offered.

‘Well, I have a question.’ Mia felt suddenly awkward and embarrassed. What business did she have speaking to the High Queen? It was strange that Elixia was so young—they were practically the same age.

Elixia piled her papers together, giving Mia her full attention. ‘Of course. Go on.’

‘I’m sorry to bother you. I just couldn’t think of who else to ask. It has to do with the basin of destiny.’

Elixia’s eyes narrowed.

‘I saw ... I saw something, and I was wondering if you could help me find it.’

‘If it is within my power to do so, I will,’ Elixia said. ‘But you need to think about whether or not this is something you want to seek out. Sometimes the things we see in the basin find us.’

‘I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s in my dreams, every single night. I’m going crazy not knowing.’
Mia took a breath. ‘A huge city, in the middle of the desert, with a wall wrapped around it...’ she trailed off as she noticed the expression on the queen’s face.

‘Gods,’ Elixia whispered. ‘Truly, you saw this?’

Mia nodded mutely.

The queen stared at her. ‘Well then, I had better start at the beginning, hadn’t I?’

Mia’s heart leapt in excitement.

‘Understand, I don’t know much—only a whisper—and I am one of the very few people who have even heard about this, and only because my father had an uncommon love of forgotten history. Many years ago when ... dark things happened ... there was a great and powerful city in the desert that was banished from all mortal time. It was called Samaraq.’

‘Samaraq,’ Mia whispered, shivering.

‘It was a city of evil. A city of sins.’

‘
Sins?
’ she repeated slowly.

Elixia shook her head. ‘All I know is that my father was intensely uneasy speaking about their practices. He said that ladies should not be thinking about such unseemly things, so he didn’t tell me the details.’

Mia frowned. ‘What do you mean, “banished”?’

‘I’m not sure. Somehow, the city ceased to exist within Paragor’s realms of the living. I don’t think anyone knows how. It was just ... gone. Erased from all records and histories. Few people have even heard of it.’

‘Where was Samaraq?’

‘Tirana, in the desert,’ Elixia replied. She looked at Mia more closely. ‘What could it mean, seeing that in the basin?’

Mia shifted uncomfortably. ‘I wish I knew.’

‘My father would pity you, to have a destiny which is mixed up in that place. He would say you cannot have a happy ending.’

‘Oh, please, no optimism,’ Mia said dryly.

Elixia grinned. ‘Sorry. I do not agree. There is too much unknown about that place.’

‘But how can I find out?’

Elixia shook her head. ‘It’s long gone, Mia. And like I said, there are no records.’

‘I
have
to find it. Isn’t there anyone who can tell me more?’

‘If you truly wish for answers, then the only place I can think of is Tirana. It’s not likely, but you could try. Perhaps Emperor Liam will be able to help you. I’ll warn you again though—you won’t find the city. It doesn’t exist anymore.’

Mia clasped her hands together tightly. The decision was already made. If she was here in Paragor for any reason, then this must be it. ‘Would it be possible for me to leave for Tirana tomorrow?’ she asked.

Elixia nodded slowly. ‘If you truly wish it, I can arrange that. But Mia, understand this—we can change our destinies; we can make them our own. The city was banished for a reason. Do not let the basin ensnare you like it has done so many.’

‘I’m not going to let you do this!’ Jack yelled. Mia stared resolutely at the door, her packed case in her hands.

‘Get out of the way, Jack.’

‘No!’ He turned desperately to Anna and Harry. ‘You aren’t going to let her do this, are you?’ he asked, his eyes bloodshot. Horrified, Harry suddenly realised that Jack had been lying about his dreams.

‘It’s not up to us, darling,’ Anna said gently, looking upset.

‘I need to do this,’ Mia said softly.

Jack shook his head, unable to believe what was happening. She’d had a hallucination, and she was going
to follow it to the most dangerous country in Paragor. Jack had done his homework—he’d found out about Tirana. It was utterly unforgiving, not only in its desert land, but in its treatment of women. Why did she want to go to a place where she would be treated without any respect?

‘If you do this, Mia,’ he said suddenly, ‘I don’t know who you are anymore.’

She stared at him, her eyes changing. He saw something in her he’d never seen before—it was the same thing he saw in Anna and Harry now.

‘If that’s truly what you think, Jack, then what are we doing? Why are we even bothering?’ Mia’s shoulders sank. She shook her head tiredly. ‘This is over, Jack.’

‘
What?
’

‘You act like a child. You don’t take anything seriously. You don’t believe in me, and you don’t believe in yourself. Don’t you see that this is our chance to make something of ourselves? All you see is a chance for mischief and practical jokes—you’ve got no purpose.’

Anna and Harry looked as though they were trying to disappear into the walls.

Jack shook his head. ‘You don’t mean that.’

‘See?’ Mia snapped. ‘You
still
aren’t taking this seriously! We’re over. I don’t want a boy. I want a man. Goodbye, Jack.’

He looked at her and, like a punch in the stomach, it came to him that this was the time. The time when he needed to do something, say something to save them. He had to show her that he could be the man she needed. But he didn’t seem to be able to remember any words. All he could do was watch her walk sadly from the room.

Anna and Harry followed Mia silently, and as if from far away, Jack felt Harry rest a hand on his shoulder before they, too, disappeared.

No. This was going to be okay. She would come back to him. She’d realise soon enough what a mistake she’d made and then things would go back to normal.

Jack chanted this, over and over in his mind, because it was easier than admitting to himself that maybe he was the problem after all. Far easier than thinking about the fact that this was becoming scarily like the nightmares he suffered through each night.

Fern had been schooled by his sister to believe in the importance of dreams, and their deeper connection to the psyche.

His dream was haunting him; the words of the woman would not leave his mind. It was not hard to figure out who she’d been. If there was anyone who could enter dreams, it was a goddess. And if a goddess was walking in his sleep, then what if...?

Fern was plagued by the questions, and by the thought.

She might still be alive.

Ever since he returned, Fern had been blocking out his grief. He tried desperately to not think about the way he had ended things with Jane—by making her believe she’d hurt him. And now everyone said she was dead. Which was, if he let himself think about it, the most heartbreaking thing that could ever happen to him.

So he didn’t think about it.

But what if the dream...?

‘What’s wrong?’ Athena continued to ask him, but he couldn’t speak it. Finally one evening as they were getting ready for bed she slapped him hard on the face.

‘You are walking around like a ghost; not looking at anyone, not talking to anyone. You eat because you have to, and sleep because you don’t want to do anything else. What is
wrong
with you?’

He touched his cheek. ‘It has nothing to do with you,’ he told her flatly.

Her eyes filled with tears. ‘And that’s the problem.’

Fern shook his head tiredly. ‘Athena,’ he said, then stopped, shrugging.

‘Why can’t you tell me?’

‘You don’t want to know. Believe me.’

‘That’s just it—you don’t seem to understand that I want to know everything about you! Not just the good things!’ She had stormed from the room in frustration, but he hadn’t been able to conjure any sort of real feeling about it. A vague sense of guilt, but not much else.

Which was why he walked from the ice castle of the Elves, away from the city and out onto the plains of Cynis Witron, alone amid a seemingly endless field of yellow grass. How could they not let him grieve? Rationally he knew they couldn’t understand—they didn’t know about his feelings for Jane. But he resented them anyway for their blind ignorance. For their blunt, oafish happiness and their messy emotions. All he had was one. Despair, in all its forms.

So Fern stood there alone. He closed his eyes, and tried, somehow, to feel her.

He ached to be able to kiss her, to hold her. He imagined her everywhere. Laughing with the other Elves, dancing with them. Every corner he turned he thought he saw her, and it made him feel like he was actually going mad. At night he imagined her next to him, and the desire was so strong it made him ill.

He’d never had cause to know grief before. His life, until recently, had been ridiculously easy, foolishly whimsical. And now—now the grief was enormous. Nothing worked for his bruised, broken body. The body that carried within it a heart that would never again work. Not without her.

‘Jane,’ Fern whispered into the air, his eyes closed, trying to imagine her there with him. The word was like balm on his lips, sweet and healing. The first time he’d let himself speak it. He thought he could feel it caressing his ears from where it flew with the wind.

He shaded his eyes against the sun and stood for a moment longer.

Then Fern clenched his teeth and turned to walk away. He was a fool. Jane was dead. Why did he torture himself? He was making life agony for himself, and the ferociousness of his rage just then was startling.

He thought he understood something though. Why she had left. Jane had watched him get killed; she had stood there and had seen him die. And if she’d felt even a portion of the grief in his heart, he knew it would have been the easiest thing in the world to just give up.

His steps were slow as he trudged back across the plains to the castle on the horizon that was supposed to be his home now. Each movement was an effort, and the sight of the city made his feet so much heavier to lift.

But then he felt something, and he froze. A change in the wind, so slight it would have been imperceptible to anyone else. A whisper against his ears, a caress against his skin.

A gasp escaped his lips, because his senses had come alive as if shocked by lightning. He spun around wildly, his breath quick, not knowing what was happening. And then he saw it.

A figure in the sky, riding one of two unicorns, though he could not tell if it was the white or the black.

As he watched, her outline became clear, lost its ephemeral shadings as she entered the world of mortals and became what she had once been. Out of the sky she rode, graceful and wondrous, and Fern’s heart began to thump violently.

The unicorns landed at precisely the same moment, their hooves hitting the ground, their wings tucking in behind their backs. Before they had even stopped moving, Jane leapt to the ground. The two brilliant creatures trotted away and began to graze nearby. Jane stood a few feet away from him. She didn’t move.

A dream, he thought. Just like all the others. He was going insane. It had to be an illusion—she could not possibly be standing before him.

But then he noticed that she was breathing very heavily, her chest heaving with the effort of pulling air into her lungs, her eyes wide and otherworldly. Her body was shaking.

‘Fern,’ she whispered, and sank to her knees. He ran forward to catch her, tightening his arms around her. Her eyes fluttered open and then focused on him, big and brown and flecked through with hazel.

‘Jane,’ he whispered, panicked. Their eyes locked, and the longer they stared at each other, the more solid her focus became. Very slowly, her breathing calmed, and her body stopped trembling. She sighed wearily, and then she smiled.

‘What took you so long?’ she asked faintly, and the sound of the humour in her voice was enough that he finally believed she was real.

‘How ... where have you been?’ he managed.

‘Help me up,’ she murmured. He lifted her to her feet, his skin electrified where it touched hers. Jane gave a soft laugh. ‘I’m a little weak,’ she explained. ‘It has been a very long time, hasn’t it?’ Then, seeming to remember his question, she shrugged and smiled again. ‘I’ve been learning things. Remembering things. Waiting for you.’

Fern sank to his knees, too overwhelmed to stand any longer. She moved closer and knelt in front of him. ‘Oh, Fern,’ she said. ‘It’s all right. I’m here now.’

His arms encircled her and held on to her desperately. ‘I thought you were dead,’ he said, his hand in her hair. His grief had been like a living thing, debilitating him, and now it was just ... gone. His body felt as though his heart had only just begun to pump blood again.

‘And you
were
dead,’ she laughed, her voice muffled where her face was pressed into his shoulder. ‘I had to leave, so that while I waited for you, I could finally understand some things.’

‘What things?’

‘We can talk about that later.’

‘How did you know to wait? How did you know I would come back?’

‘Fern, your sister is a necromancer. I was fairly certain she wasn’t going to give up on you.’ Jane stroked his cheek gently.

It was so long ago, and yet they both remembered it as if it were yesterday. ‘Jane,’ he said desperately, ‘You know I was lying, don’t you? On the boat? I only said what I did to protect you. You never did anything wrong, it was all my fault, and I’m so sorry—’

‘Stop, Fern,’ she said. ‘It’s all right. It doesn’t matter anymore.’

‘I hated myself for hurting you like that.’

‘I understand,’ she murmured.

And then finally the full weight of his mistake came crashing down on him.