Desired by Shadow (A Shadow Walkers Novel) (33 page)

Kneeling, she picked up every stone marveling that such beauty could come from so much sadness. “I will. But not today. For now, I want to capture the hurt so the next time I think I might let someone in, I’ll touch these and remember.” Her eyes were sandpaper on silk, her throat burned from the hurt, and she tasted the bitterness of betrayal in her mouth. After being betrayed three times…by her mother, Josh, and Ned; she thought this one would be a bit easier to swallow. It hurt more than all the past hurts combined. Was this love? A silent, distorted laugh broke out inside her. Then let the curse take her, being alone would be better any day of the week than having to feel her insides ripped to shreds, over and over, again.

Draken didn’t say anything.

What was there to say?

With a heavy heart, Maggie left the East wing, deep in thought. Wandering the corridors, she came to the North wing. A small sob escaped. This was to be her school. Randomly opening doors, she could see Angus had been at work. Some of the rooms had paper taped to the walls. The lists detailed what the room might be used for and what furniture would be needed. A pang hit her and she reached out to lean against the wall. Angus could do this without her. There was no way she was staying, not after Robert’s deception. The sound of wood scraping against stone had her turning around.

“Perfect timing. Look what I found.” Enthusiasm filled Angus’s voice. He had a beautiful desk halfway into the room.

“Let me help.” They pushed the heavy furniture the rest of the way in. It looked like it belonged there. “Where did you find it?”

He scratched his head. “I came across a room full to the top with bits and pieces of furniture. There are tables and benches and all sorts of things which would be perfect for the kids to use as desks. Want to help me bring them in? I thought this room could be the history class.” He stopped and looked at her. “I didn’t want to overstep so I did this one first to see if you might like it.” He waited.

“Angus, I couldn’t have come up with a better setup myself. You have an eye for this. Might you want to set up the rest of the classrooms?” And with that line, her heart crumbled. “I have to go to Edinburgh for a while and help Monroe. Think you could work on the school while I’m gone? Draken said he’d help if you needed it.”

He grinned. “Go. Do what ye need to do. A dragon helping me? Would have never thought it in all me years.” He waved her aside, the wheels turning in his head. “I’ll have plenty to show ye when you get back, lass.”

“A dinner buffet should be set up by now. Don’t forget to eat.” Maggie gave him a quick hug and fled before the tears could spill over. She ran down the hallway, heedless of where she was going and crashed into a warm wall.

“Pretty Maggie, don’t cry. Come with me and you can watch me eat Robert.” Draken nudged her with his great head.

Throwing her arms around him, she cried until there weren’t any tears left. A small pile of stones lay at her feet. Looking down a hysterical laugh burbled up. “Diamonds from tears, it’s really rather perfect.” She scooped them up, put them in her jeans pocket and pulled herself together. “No, don’t eat him. But might I ask a favor?”

His tail thumped, making the door nearest her rattle. Thank goodness the hallways were so wide, otherwise he wouldn’t fit. “Name your boon.”

“I’m going to my room to pack, and I realized I don’t have any way of getting to Edinburgh. I could borrow one of the cars but I don’t want to. I just want to leave. Would you take me to the city?”

Draken brought his head to eye level. “Yes, Maggie. Go and pack. While you do that, I’ll eat and be waiting in the courtyard.” She turned to go, his words stopping her in her tracks. “Tell him why you’re leaving. The pirate deserves to know.”

She wanted to explode. Deserves to know, my foot. Counting to ten, she took a deep breath. Maybe Draken had a point. She’d want the courtesy of an explanation if it were her in the wrong. The thought of facing him made her knees weak. She offered up a prayer to whoever might be listening.
Please grant me strength. Don’t let me give in.
“You’re right. I’ll tell him. See you in a bit.” Walking slowly, Maggie went to pack. Her room. It was beautiful and she’d miss it.

Miss
him
.

The door shut with a soft click and yet to her ears it sounded like a thundering boom. The imagery of a door closing equating to endings struck her at the same time. Get it together. She squared her shoulders and straightened her spine. You’ve lived most of your life with no one to rely on, you can do it again. And now, there’s plenty of money so at least you won’t be back on the streets. Groaning as she hefted the four duffel bags, she made her way down to the great hall. Dropping the luggage on the sofa, she went in search of Robert.

She found him in the kitchens. His hair was windblown and he looked so sexy and perfect standing there smiling at her that she had a moment’s hesitation. She could pretend she didn’t know about the curse, un-know it. A small shake of her head and she knew she’d never let it go. The hurt would subside…eventually.

Robert filled the room with his presence. “Ready to eat? I’m starving.” He went to hug her and she stepped back noting the frown on his face. “What’s wrong? Have I done something to upset you?”

She was numb. There were no more tears, no more anger. Only regret. The scent of it—dust and lilies, filled the air, burning her eyes.

“The curse.” Maggie watched his eyes widen and his nostrils flare as the words registered. “Were you ever going to tell me? Or let the week pass and see what happened? How could you?”

Stepping towards her, he reached out as she stepped back. “Maggie, I can explain. Let me explain.”

“There’s nothing more to say. I came to tell you I’m leaving. Going to Edinburgh to work with Monroe.” She turned to go.

“Maggie, wait.” Hope filled her chest. Would he come clean, make it better?

“I didn’t want to worry you. I can handle this myself. And really, no one knows exactly what the curse entails.”

He was making excuses. The light within her extinguished without a sound. “At least now I know what Thorne meant when he asked if you’d ‘enlightened me’. We said no secrets. What you did is unforgivable. Goodbye, Robert.”

She turned and left him standing in the middle of the kitchen amongst the overpowering smell of lilies, looking shell-shocked. He didn’t make a move to come after her. She’d been wrong. She loved him but he didn’t love her. If he did, he’d never let her walk out.

Opening the door of the great hall and stepping out into the courtyard, she saw Draken waiting. Her soul screamed out at her not to leave. To make it right. This was her home, where she belonged.

Not anymore.

Climbing on Draken’s back, they took to the evening air. Don’t look back. No matter how much she ached to stay. Instead she clenched her jaw, wrapped her arms around the dragon’s neck and shut her eyes tight. Repeating over and over like a benediction,
don’t look back, don’t look back, don’t look back.

The flight to Edinburgh was exhilarating, the cold air tempered by the heat rising from Draken’s hide. They flew above the clouds. With the evening sky darkening to indigo, even if a random pedestrian happened to look up they wouldn’t see anything amiss. Maybe a shadow or large bird but no one in their right mind would think ‘oh, that’s a dragon’. A dragon in the sky. A week ago she would have thought it crazy but now after everything she’d been through, hell, anything could happen or appear and she would no longer be shocked.

The rhythmic whump of Draken’s wings soothed her temper. The hollow feeling threatened to consume her. Rubbing her temples to massage away the headache she looked down. The countryside was beautiful. Ribbons of gray and silver, lights shining from the windows of homes. The stark beauty of late fall deepening to winter as if the world were sleeping, waiting for spring to begin again. Maybe she could go to sleep and wake in the spring, renewed and able to start anew. Robert’s betrayal was different than her mother’s or Josh or Ned. His burned through her, scorching away everything in its path, leaving charred earth behind in place of her heart. Turning her into one of the walking dead. Body alive but the soul and heart destroyed. Usually she could push the feelings down deep and think about them later, but this. His face kept appearing before her eyes. Blinking, she thought of the last thing he’d said when she mounted Draken.

He was standing with one of his new crew members. The one who kept looking at her and the castle as if casing the joint. She didn’t trust him as far as she could throw him. They’d finished divvying up the treasure and Robert looked rumpled and sexy as hell. No way was he helping her onto Draken’s back. Gareth assisted her as Robert stood stiff as a stone wall, glaring, the corners of his mouth pulling down.

Anger flooded in so easily ignited when she thought of his words. That she’d overreacted. It wasn’t really a secret but rather something he was planning to take care of so why worry her? As if he really believed he was in the right.

She sighed. In her book, it was not only a betrayal but also a big fat lie that had the potential to impact the rest of her life and he basically told her not to worry her pretty little head. A snort escaped and Draken turned to glance at her.

“I’m fine, just thinking about taking you up on your offer to make a Robert sandwich.” She yelled over the wind. Draken’s response was to shoot a plume of fire. Anyone looking up would think it was a jet trail.

Robert told her she could use his house in Edinburgh. She said no, thank you. As if. Like she wanted him showing up whenever he felt like it. No, she needed neutral turf where she felt safe and wouldn’t have to see him. It was too difficult. The thought of seeing his face, she was afraid she’d cave and forgive him. That if she did, he’d betray her once again. And she’d never recover.

Part of her was angry he didn’t drag her off Draken, tell her he couldn’t live without her. Say he would forsake his immortal life to be with her. But this was real life not some fairy tale. In reality you were betrayed, hurt, and discarded. Maggie was a grown ass woman and would no longer hope for the magic of children’s stories. It might seem like she’d found her fairy tale—well the scary beasts and curses—but the charming prince was nothing more than a toad in disguise.

Time to grow up. Fairy tales never came true.

“Hold on, we’re landing.” Draken’s voice was in her head. How did he do that? Nice trick. He set them down with a soft thump in an empty parking lot down the street from Monroe’s flat. She’d only had to pull up the destination and show him on a map before they’d left. His internal radar was better than any GPS she’d ever seen.

Sliding off, she made sure she had her gear. A lone single large bag. The rest she put in Draken’s room figuring no one would dare take them. The dragon had assured her he’d eat any who tried.

“You realize I
let
all of you enter the treasure chamber. I could have turned you to ash at any time.”

She patted his snout. “I know. I think you were ready to spend time with others. Thank you for not eating us and for the ride.” She choked up. Would she ever return home? She’d only met Robert but it felt like they’d known each other forever, that she belonged at Gwrych, had finally found her place in the world. Get over yourself and pull it together.

“Will you go back home?”

“After I have a snack. Is there anything else you need?”

She told him no and bid him goodbye before she could cry again. She’d never cried this much in her life. Maybe she was getting soft.

Monroe didn’t know she was coming. In her rush to leave, she’d forgotten to call him and there was the small matter that she planned to crash on his couch. Entering the vestibule, she looked for his name and took the stairs to the flat.

Knocking twice, she waited. A few minutes passed and she shifted from foot to foot. Rapping again louder, relief washed over her when the door was thrown open.

“Maggie. Sorry, I was in the shower. Come in.” Monroe stood back to let her in. The flat was clean. She mentally chastised herself but given the way the ex-cop liked to drink she expected a dirty, bachelor pad.