Desiring the Highlander (27 page)

The only adornment she wore was attached at the shoulder. An old luckenbooth of the McTiernay crest held the heavy plaid in place. The material was of dark greens and blues with lines of gold, red, and burgundy, and it hung down to where it just barely touched the floor. The rich dark colors of the gown and plaid made the green in her hazel eyes pop with intensity, capturing the attention of any onlooker.

When Conan asked her to wear the McTiernay plaid, Ellenor had placated him by saying she would consider it, but she knew before his study door had closed her decision would be no. She was a visitor here. Welcomed by most and tolerated by the majority, but for an Englishwoman to don this proud clan’s colors and wear them as if they were her own was just too self-indulgent. She would lose the little respect she had gained, and she wouldn’t have blamed them.

Then, while she was preparing Brighid’s hair, a knock had come at Laurel’s door. A maid entered and handed Ellenor a folded plaid. On top of it was a rare, old pewter pin of the McTiernay crest—an eagle clutching a tree branch of Highland mountain ash. Ellenor was just about to refuse the items when she noticed the small rip at one of the corners. This request had not come from Conan. Cole had sent her his plaid to wear, and somehow, not insulting him was far more important than possibly losing the clan’s respect.

Laurel walked over and picked off the couple of stray hairs caught on the soft material, and then fingered the dark silver pin. “I have seen this pin only once, in his room during a rare visit. Of course, Cole said very little, but he did say this belonged to his mother and his mother’s mother. She gave each of her sons something to hand to their wives, to pass down to the next generation. I know this means a great deal to him.”

Ellenor swallowed. “It wasn’t a gift. I am sure it is just a loan to make me feel accepted and not so out of place tonight.”

Laurel arched an eyebrow and shrugged her chin. “I don’t recall Cole ever considering someone’s comfort before, but then, until now neither has he been in love.”

Ellenor shook her head. “Cole doesn’t want me. I’m English, and I don’t fit into his life.”

“Conor said he carried you all the way home and up to his room.”

“Because he had to! I fell asleep…and…and it changes nothing!”

“Conor seemed to think you and Cole were going to get married.”

“Your husband is very much mistaken.” With hands on hips, Ellenor took a deep breath and stared at the ceiling, forcing her tears back. “I actually thought I could win Cole, Laurel. Fight for his love and make him realize just what we could share together. But Cole has room in his life for his men and for Robert, nothing else.”

“Robert?”

“Yes, a ghost. And after yesterday, even if Cole
were
to ask me to marry him, I would refuse. It would be for all the wrong reasons—pity, guilt, or lust. Cole would never ask me to be his wife simply because he loved me, because I made him happy, completed him…”

Laurel was tempted to ask what happened yesterday, but decided it might be better if she didn’t. Instead, she walked over and stroked Ellenor’s arm. “That’s how you feel about him, isn’t it? And you want him to feel the same way about you.”

Ellenor nodded and brushed a tear from her cheek. “But what I want and what I can have are two different things.” She took a deep breath and pasted on a smile she hoped would someday become genuine. “I’m content with what I have and that is more than enough for me. It is much more than I deserve.”

“I will not pretend to understand your reasons, but if you don’t want to marry Cole, that is your choice. Let me simply caution you about wanting the undying, ever-professing love of a man—it rarely exists. Men like Cole do not sing love songs and speak eloquently of their feelings, but they do feel deeply. I thought you understood that. Someday I hope someone will, and if you can see Cole happy with another woman, to have someone else hold him, bear his children, and grow old with him, if you can do this and still be at peace, then your decision is indeed wise. If not—”

Laurel was interrupted by a sharp rap at the door. She called out for her visitor to enter, and Ellenor was face to face with the man she had called an ass, an idiot, and a few other things. Laird McTiernay. She had successfully avoided him all afternoon while dashing about making last-minute preparations for tonight’s feast. Now, he was peering down at her, using his height to intimidate her. At first, it worked…until she realized what he was doing. Then, it had the opposite result.

Ellenor backed up a step and raked her eyes up and down and snorted. “You are a lucky man, laird. Laurel agreed to marry you. Not too many women want a hulking giant for a husband.” Stepping around him, Ellenor smiled to herself and headed toward the door. “I’m going to check on the twins. I’ll meet you inside the hall.”

Laurel waved in acknowledgment. Ellenor closed the door but not before Conor’s laughter erupted from the other side. “Good God, Cole has picked himself one. If I looked for years, I couldn’t have found someone better for my brother. Who would have thought it? And she’s an
Englishwoman
!”

Ellenor grimaced. She was going to have to do a lot better job at hiding her feelings. Just as she was about to walk out of earshot, she heard Conor say in complete awe, “Lord, wife, you are beautiful. Once again, I will have to fight the urge to pummel every man who looks at you.”

She leaned against the stairwell wall for a second and then headed to Laurel’s chambers on the fourth floor. They were empty and provided the privacy of a good cry. She had never been a jealous person, but hearing how much Conor loved his wife, witnessing the admiration and approval in Donald’s eyes when he had seen Brighid, hearing the love in Aileen’s voice when she spoke of Finn…these were things she wanted to have and never would.

Ellenor had no idea how long she cried, but a sudden shout reverberated up from the inner yard followed by several others. It was dark and the bonfires had been lit. People were packed around them as drinks from the buttery began to be passed around. She was late.

Wiping her eyes dry, she pinched her cheeks and walked out of the room and down the stairwell. She hadn’t gotten two steps out the tower door when several men engaged in a jovial shoving match slammed into her. Barely escaping injury, she tried to wind her way through the throngs of people. They were celebrating, and after hearing bits and pieces from the crowd, she knew what about—Cole had been named the McTiernay laird for the northern nomadic clans.

Eager to find him, she continued to weave her way across the inner yard. Most clansmen she encountered ignored her. She had nearly reached her target of the Great Hall entrance when a large arm suddenly wrapped itself around her waist and lifted her into the air.

“Damn, if you aren’t the bonniest thing my eyes have ever seen. I have been gone a long time,
bòidheach
, and I want to be welcomed home properly!”

The arm belonged to a soldier but not one she recognized. “Put me down!”

“Nay, woman. I’ll put you down when I find a space where you and I can be alone.”

The man was drunk and slurring his words, but his grip was firm and he was walking away from the Hall and toward one of the nearby dark corners. Panic flooded her and she was suddenly back on the floor of her father’s solar, pinned down on the floor with a man’s hand on her legs. In her mind, Cole came and saved her, killing the beast who held her. But Cole was nowhere in sight. No one she knew was.

The man pressed her against the wall so that her feet dangled a foot off the ground and held her there by her waist. She would have screamed, but his lips were over hers, smothering all attempts to yell for help.

Ellenor began to thrash and kick and bite anything she could find that was soft, fleshy, and capable of feeling pain. The man yelled and suddenly she was in the air. A sharp pain shot through her back as it collided with the ground. As fast as she could, Ellenor whirled onto her feet and disappeared into the shadows. The instinct to run far from everyone and everything was nearly overwhelming. Her mind raced, trying to find a place she could be alone and in complete control of all things around her, but before she could think of one, another thick male arm slinked around her waist, pulling her once again into a hefty chest.

“Mmm, you smell good,” the raspy voice said, twirling her around.

Shaking, Ellenor closed her eyes and pleaded, “Please, let me go.”

Immediately he did as she asked. Her feet touched the ground and Ellenor felt the weight pressing down upon her suddenly lift. She looked up at the grisly face beaming down at her and returned the smile.

The man backed up a foot. “Ah, lass, for one as bonnie as you, I’d do anything. I’d fight all the men here tonight for one of your smiles. Tell me your name, love, and I promise to be yours forever.”

Ellenor was about to turn around and try running again when another man’s voice stopped her. “Seamus, be warned. This is
Cole’s
Lady Ellenor.”

Her eyes darted to the source of the deep authoritative voice and realized it was Jaime, but before she could sigh in relief, he gripped her arm and firmly tugged it, compelling her to follow.

“Jaime Ruadh, please let go.”

Jaime firmly shook his head no. “In this crowd, I could lose you again.”

Ellenor’s feet could barely move quick enough to keep up with him. “Could we slow down? Where are we going?”

“We are looking for Cole. He’s somewhere out here searching for you and I am pretty sure that if he doesn’t find you soon, men are going to find themselves hurt if not worse.”

“Why?”

That stalled Jaime. He paused to look back at her, his face full of incredulity. Sliding his grip from her arm to her hand, he again started his mad march through the courtyard, pushing anyone aside—male or female—who got in his way. “Because Cole saw that man grab you, and unless we find him and he sees you are unharmed—”

“He
saw
that?” Ellenor interrupted. “Why didn’t he help me out!” For the first time since the encounter, Ellenor started feeling less scared and more angry.

Her voice caught the attention of several onlookers, all of whom looked past Jaime as if he weren’t there. Ellenor shouted, “Look out!” but Jaime was already moving as one large heavyset farmer began his attack. A second later, the farmer was in the air and fell to the ground with a hard thud.

Without wasting another second on the drunken group, Jaime grabbed Ellenor’s hand again and proceeded toward the Lower Hall. Along the way, he tried to explain. “Cole was in the Great Hall, watching through the windows for your arrival. By the time he spotted you, it was too late. I don’t know what he saw, but he began to bellow out orders. Donald is right now gathering men in the Lower Hall, and unless you can be found,
unharmed
, Cole is going to demand blood.”

Ellenor remembered the promise he had made to her. That she would be safe behind McTiernay walls. He must have thought he had broken an oath, the one thing Cole held more dear than all else. His honor. She had to get to him and explain it wasn’t his fault. “Oh, Lord, where is he?”

“Somewhere hunting that man down.”

Just a moment ago, she had wanted that very thing. For Cole to find the man who had attacked her and kill him, but now that it was actually about to happen, Ellenor wasn’t sure of anything. “Then why are we headed to the Hall? We’ve got to find Cole.”

Jaime shook his head, beads of frustration forming on his brow. The closer they moved to the Halls and the kitchens, the thicker the crowds became. Shoving people out of the way was slowing their progress. “Before Cole does anything, he will meet with Donald. We need to get there before he does.”

Ellenor could see the rooftop of the Lower Hall and sighed in relief. They were almost there.

She was just about to point and say it looked like they made it in time when suddenly someone snatched her arm sleeve to get her attention. Instinct caused Ellenor to pull free from Jaime’s grasp and turn around. “Brighid?!” she yelled.

Her friend, who had looked stunning just hours ago, was still wearing her new deep rose bliaut, but most of her curly hair had sprung lose from its constraints. “Thank God I found you,” Brighid gushed. “All these people I never thought it would be possible. You
must
come with me,” she said, her words tumbling out in heavy breaths. “Now.”

Ellenor pulled back her sleeve and pointed to where Jaime was waiting impatiently. “I cannot. I absolutely have to get to the Lower Hall—”

“No,” Brighid huffed. “You must come with me now.”

She clutched Ellenor’s forearm and pulled, but Ellenor stood firm. “I must get to the Lower Hall. We will talk later—”

Brighid gave her a narrowed look, her vexation evident. “You are coming with me! Right after Cole started yelling, Donald, the laird, and all the men left. And a minute later, Laurel went into full-blown labor. We found out she had been having pains all day.”

That got Ellenor’s attention. She felt Jaime tug on her sleeve, but she gestured for him to wait. “What? Why didn’t she say something?”

“When Laurel gave birth to the twins, it took a long time. A
real
long time, and she just figured this would be the same. But it seems this bairn is coming soon. Hagatha is worried. She said something about it not being right and Laurel asked for you. She’s scared and needs you
now
.”

Ellenor stared for a moment at Brighid’s pleading brown eyes and then glanced back at Jaime. His patience was waning, and there was true fear of what would happen if they didn’t arrive in the Lower Hall soon. She looked back at Brighid. “Has Conor been told?”

Brighid shrugged her shoulders. “The men had left when the pains started coming in earnest. I don’t know whether she told him or not. My guess is no; otherwise he would never have let her come down for the festivities.”

“Where is she?” Ellenor asked, hoping she wasn’t still in the Great Hall.