Desolate Souls (Forgotten Souls MC, #1) (17 page)

“Because I was there, listening to every word he spoke about what that fucker did to you. I saw the pain in his eyes, heard it in his voice whenever he spoke about you.” I feel my eyes fill with tears as he speaks. I am unable to speak for fear that the dam will break and I will have a complete meltdown right here. “And I saw the devastation on his face the night he went back for you.”

My eyes immediately meet his, my bottom lip trembling. “He never came back for me,” I say, shaking my head.

“He did. We both did.”

I continue to shake my head, not believing his words. No one came for me or tried to help me except... I lift my head, staring into Deuce’s eyes, trying to remember a time I have tried so hard to forget.

“You remember me now, don’t you? You never saw my face, but I was there. Jax was there.”

My chest tightens and I can’t breathe. It can’t be. I close my eyes, wanting to remember for the first time ever.

“I’ve got you, babe. He’ll never hurt you again,” the guy whispers, holding me in his arms. His voice is soothing, familiar, yet I can’t focus on it. My mind is still trying to grasp the horrors I have seen tonight.

“Darlin’, can you hear me?” another voice asks. I will myself to look at him but can’t, fear gripping me. “I think she’s in shock, but she’ll be OK. The threat is gone.”

“Look at her. I can’t leave her this way.” The conversation around me sounds muffled, like this is nothing but a dream.

“We have to go, man,” the unfamiliar voice beckons. “She’ll be safe.”

“You go. I won’t leave her.”

I lift my eyes at that moment, everything suddenly becoming clear. That voice and the feeling of safety. I have only ever felt that way with one person – Jax.

Looking over at Deuce, I am overcome with emotion. His eyes, the familiarity they contain, it was all right in front of me this entire time.

“You do remember, don’t you?” he asks again, this time prompting me to nod my head in agreement. “All these years you have blamed him for abandoning you, for leaving you in that situation. He was forced to leave, but he made the decision to come back for you. He didn’t want you to see him that way, to think of him as a killer, but it was the only way to end it.”

Tears stream from my eyes, reality hitting me full force.

“I convinced him to leave you that night. He wanted to stay, but I was certain that when the cops arrived, they would see what was really going inside that place and know it had been an act of self-defense. I was wrong, Alana, and I’m sorry. We came forward, admitted what we had done, but even in death, Phil Martin held all the stakes. You were supposed to be living out your dreams, not continuing to live a nightmare. If you have to blame someone, blame me.”

This is all too much to take in. I don’t know what to believe in this moment. All I know is that everything I have ever thought was true is a lie, and I have hated the one person who truly never let me down. No longer able to contain my emotion, I release it all, not caring that all eyes in the restaurant are on me.

––––––––

T
hree a.m. phone calls usually only mean one thing, especially when they come from Deuce. I have no idea what I am about to walk into, but I am prepared. With my .45 tucked into the waistband of my jeans, I mount my bike and peel out of the compound.

Fifteen minutes later, I pull into the parking lot of Body Shots, immediately spotting Deuce’s bike parked at the entrance. Scanning the area, I see no sign of anyone in the vicinity, making me feel even more uneasy. I contemplate placing a call to Doc but decide to analyze the situation before I call for reinforcements.

Reaching for the door, I slowly pull it open, half expecting to see Deuce laying in a pool of blood. Instead, I am met with a devoid, dimly lit room. “Deuce!” I call out as I walk towards the hallway leading towards the back of the club.

“Over here,” his voice echoes into the otherwise silent room. I turn to see him standing in the hallway, a grim look on his face.

“What the fuck’s going on?” I ask as I close the distance between us.

“There’s something you need to see,” he says before turning, his face remaining solemn. I follow behind him as he leads me to the office, pausing outside the closed door. “I told you that I would lead her back,” he says before pushing open the wooden barrier.

Stepping inside behind him, I scan the room, stopping when my eyes land on her. She is curled up on the couch, her eyes reddened from crying. My immediate reaction is to run to her, but I force myself to stay put, not knowing how she will react. When she stands, her tear filled eyes boring into mine, I almost lose it.

“I think you two have some catching up to do.” Deuce slaps me on the back before turning towards the door.

“Deuce,” Alana whispers. He turns slowly, looking over at her with more emotion than I have ever seen. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, darlin’. I’d do it all over again.” He smiles at her one last time before exiting the room, leaving Alana and I alone.

We stand in silence for several minutes, neither of us moving, unsure of what the other is thinking.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, her eyes filled with pain. “For not believing in you. I hated you for all these years when I should’ve been thanking you.”

“Alana, if anyone should apologize, it’s me. I wanted to protect you and I failed.”

“You didn’t fail,” she says, taking a step forward. “You ended something I thought would never end. Deuce told me everything.”

“I never wanted you to find out this way,” I tell her, closing my eyes. “I should’ve been the one.” Only when I feel her warm hand touch my arm do I open my eyes, looking down into her tear filled ones that shine so impossibly blue.

“And I should’ve given you a chance to explain. Instead, I treated you like you were a monster, when it was me all along.” Her words are filled with pain and despair. “I failed you. You didn’t fail me.”

“Don’t ever say that, Alana. You were never the monster. It was him. It was always him.”

Without saying another word, she rushes into my arms, gripping me tightly as she sobs into my chest. Wrapping my arms around her, I close my eyes. I tried so hard to forget her, to move on, but in the end I knew it was impossible. Alana has always been in my heart, ever since the day we first met. No amount of distance could ever change that, and having her in my arms at this very moment is proof. This is where she belongs, where she will stay for as long as I am on this earth.

When she steps back, Alana looks up at me with shimmering eyes. “I never deserved you and I still don’t, but I don’t want to lose you again.”

“Alana, you never lost me babe. You could never lose me. All the years we spent apart, you were always here,” I say, placing my hand over my heart, “where you have always been.”

“You mean you didn’t forget about me?” God I hate that she could ever think that way.

“It’s hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember. Our pasts, the history we shared, what we meant to one another, none of it will ever end. You’re stuck with me Alana, no matter what.” This is more than a promise, it is my vow not only to her, but to myself. I couldn’t let her go now if I tried.

She nods her head, accepting my words as truth. “So where do we go from here?” she asks, her eyes searching my own.

“We can’t start the next chapter in our lives if we keep re-reading the last one.” My words are just as much for me as they are for her. She has been letting the past control her present and future, and that ends today. The pain and sorrow in her eyes will be replaced with love and happiness, something she deserves more than anyone, and I will be the one to give it to her.

Her eyes fill with tears and for the first time in so very long, I see her smile at me. In that moment, I know we will survive.

––––––––

S
tanding in the shadows, I watch as Jax pulls into the parking lot of Body Shots. He scans the parking lot, his eyes landing on the Harley sitting outside the front door, the one belonging to Deuce.

It seems as though I have been standing here for hours, when in fact it has been less than thirty minutes. I had been on my way to the car when I spotted Deuce pulling into the parking lot, the image of Alana holding onto him tightly permanently burned into my mind. Now with Jax’s arrival, I am more than a little concerned.

I know what Deuce is capable of and that alone has me feeling like everything is falling apart around me. Add Jax into the mix and I am downright fearful. Both have made it perfectly clear what they want and neither will stop until they get it –Alana. If I had a bit of sense, I would walk away and let them have her, but I can’t. She is mine and I won’t let her go without a fight.

I slowly make my way to the back door of the club, pulling out my key to unlock it. Cautiously, I open it and step into the darkness, letting my eyes adjust for a moment before I make my way down the hallway, stopping in front of the office door.

As I press my ear to the cold wood, I hear Alana’s frail voice.

“You mean you didn’t forget about me?” she asks, and I can tell she is crying.

“It’s hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember. Our pasts, the history we shared, what we meant to one another, none of it will ever end. You’re stuck with me Alana, no matter what,” Jax tells her, causing me to clench my fists at my side.

“So where do we go from here?” I close my eyes at her words. I know she loves him and he loves her. If I were a better person, I would just walk away and give her the happiness she deserves.

“We can’t start the next chapter in our lives if we keep re-reading the last one.” I step away from the door, my head swimming. I have to end this or I will lose her forever. I just don’t know how I am going to accomplish it.

Reluctantly, I push myself away from the door and through the exit, quietly locking it behind me. I move swiftly across the parking lot until I reach the car parked at the curb and climb inside, my mind reeling the entire time. How does one man take down an entire MC? If it were anyone but The Forgotten Souls, I might stand a chance.

My options are limited and with Jax back in the picture, time is running out. Desperate times call for desperate measures and I am willing to do whatever it takes not to lose her.