Desperate (8 page)

“Tell me, Meg, do you find me attractive?”

She stopped and stared at him in surprise. Didn’t he understand that’s why she’d chosen him instead of some other cowboy? Did he think she’d have chosen just any man?

“That’s why I asked you to dinner. You were the only man in town I would have considered.”

“And what happens if I say no?” he asked.

She gazed at him, her stomach falling to her feet. “I…I don’t know. There’s no one else from town. I may have to consider a mail-order husband.”

Zach smiled at her and brushed the hair away from her face. “You’re beautiful.”

“Nah,” she said, turning her face away. “I’m just a woman stuck wearing pants.”

“Does that bother you?”

“More than you’ll ever know,” she said, her voice whisper soft. “So, are you attracted to me?” she asked, thinking it was only fair to ask him the same question.

“Yes, I am,” he whispered.

His face was inches from hers. He was so close she could see the way his eyes flickered in the moonlight. Her heart was galloping like a runaway horse. Her lungs felt like they were being squeezed, and her face burned where his fingers had touched her skin. She watched as his lips lowered toward her own.

She tilted her face up, eager to meet him halfway, wanting, needing this kiss like her next breath. His lips covered hers, and he pulled her up against him, smashing her breasts into his chest. He tasted of sweet buttermilk pie and moonlit madness.

His lips devoured hers, his tongue running along the edge of her mouth. She’d expected to feel revulsion since she’d never been kissed before, but no, there was enough sizzle in this man’s lips to have her craving for something she couldn’t define. She didn’t want to stop. She didn’t want him to cease what he’d started.

He broke off the kiss, and she moved closer, wanting more, not ready for this to end. When she opened her eyes, he was staring down at her. “I think I better go.”

“Oh,” she said, startled he was leaving so soon. They’d just walked out the door. He hadn’t told her yet if he wanted to marry her, and she needed an answer. She had to know.

He tilted her chin up and brushed his lips against hers once more. “Don’t be stealing anymore hams.”

She stepped back and shook her head. “I won’t. I’ll take it back tomorrow morning.”

“Keep it. I’ll pay for it as long as you promise you won’t steal again.”

She sighed. “Thanks. It’s pretty sad when you have to buy your own dinner.”

He laughed. “No. Dinner was good. The stolen ham was excellent, the vegetables wonderful, and the company sparkling. “

Maybe he was interested. Maybe he was going to ask her to marry him. Maybe there was hope of saving the farm yet.

Meg gave him her best coquettish smile and wink. “So are you going to give me the answer to my proposal or not?”

He placed his hat on his head and gazed at his horse as if he wanted to make a quick get away. “I like you, Meg. I like you a lot. But marriage is forever. I need more time before I can give you an answer.”

Disappointment gripped her, and she couldn’t restrain the frown she felt drawing her brows together. “I’m running out of time, Zach.”

“What’s the hurry?”

What did she say without telling him her reasons?

“I need your answer no later than next Saturday.”

Zach opened his mouth to say something and then stopped. He nodded. “I’ll let you know. Goodnight.”

She watched as he rode off on his horse into the darkness. Why did everything have to be so hard? She understood his reasoning. She knew marriage was forever, but she was quickly running out of time. The bank loan would soon be due. She needed some quick cash.

M
eg opened the door and was greeted by her sisters with their arms crossed, their expressions a matching set of you-messed-up, waiting for her. Now she would have to face their wrath, and yet, she’d had no choice. She knew they were starving. They needed food.

“All right, I stole a ham. I was wrong,” she admitted, throwing up her arms.

“And you kissed Zach. I saw you,” Ruby said, her tone defiant. “I got into trouble for kissing boys.”

“I’m older than you,” Meg said defensively.

The memory of his kiss filled Meg with warmth in places she’d never before imagined. The sense that she was a woman, even though trousers covered her legs and a man’s shirt habitually covered her breasts.

Annabelle’s hazel eyes were cold, her expression stoic. “You might as well feed that ham to the chickens. We’re not eating it.”

“The chickens would be having a rich man’s feast. Zach is going to pay Mr. Moore for his damn ham.”

“Why did you do it, Meg? We’re not starving,” Ruby asked, staring at Meg like she didn’t know her.

What could she say regarding her actions? No, she didn’t believe in stealing, but they were trying so hard and getting nowhere. No matter how much she worked, it was never enough. “I’m sick to death of chicken. I can’t bring myself to kill a goat, and the cows are for the market. Plus, I was starving.”

She walked over to the table and began to clear the dishes. “I’m not throwing out this ham. You can now consider it a gift.”

How embarrassing for the sheriff to know she’d stolen the ham and then to agree to pay for the meat to keep her out of trouble. It was generous, as he could have taken her to jail. What would her sisters have done then?

“Don’t ever steal food for us again, Meg. You know Papa would not have agreed with what you did,” Annabelle told her.

“Papa is not here to help us put food on the table.” Weariness filled Meg’s soul, leaving her bereft, empty. There was still mending for her to finish tonight. And Zach had not given her an answer. What would she do if he said no?

“Why didn’t you just buy the ham?” Ruby asked.

“Because Ho Chinn hasn’t paid me yet. Have either of you gotten paid?”

“No,” Ruby said.

“I have some tips, though they’re not much.”

“Enough to buy a ham?” Meg asked, her voice rising with sarcasm as she clenched her fists. If only Ho Chinn would pay her what she was due.

“No.”

“That’s why I stole the ham,” Meg said triumphantly as she finished clearing off the table and picked up more of her alterations. She worked day and night on these pieces of sewing, repairing, replacing broken buttons, and still, there was more work when she arrived at the laundry. More work and no pay.

Annabelle began to wash the dishes. “Papa always told us to stay on the right side of the law. Don’t bring home any more stolen food.”

Neither of them understood Meg considered herself a complete failure at taking care of them. She’d done everything she could and still it wasn’t enough. “I know what Papa thought about stealing, but I couldn’t watch the two of you getting skinnier and skinnier. It’s my responsibility to make sure you’re fed, and today I took matters into my own hands. I did what I had to do.”

Ruby stared at her. “How is that any different from me earning money for Papa’s birthday present? Stealing is stealing. Wrong is wrong. Don’t do it again, Meg.”

Meg sighed. How could she argue with her sisters when she knew they were right? Hopefully everything soon would be settled. She and Zach would be married, and he could help take care of her sisters. She sought to marry him for the right reasons, not just because he could help, but she was trying as hard as she could. She felt like she was running through water, getting nowhere fast.

And after that kiss this evening, maybe being married to Zach wouldn’t be bad. She wouldn’t mind spending time in his arms, his lips moving over hers. And the marriage bed…just the thought sent warmth spiraling through her body and giddiness filling her stomach. If kissing were that nice, what would marriage be like?

***

While Meg’s body plowed the garden and took care of the necessary physical chores, her mind fantasized about the dress shop she’d own someday and the clothes she’d design. Doing the spring planting gave her plenty of time to dream. The ideas that flitted through her mind gave her hope and strength and helped her get the arduous chores done.

She would have a different future someday. Someday her dreams would be a reality.
Someday
.

The sun was sinking ever closer to the horizon, and her body ached from the day’s labor. A cold wind blew from the north, a not-so-gentle reminder that winter was not finished.

She stopped, giving the horse a rest and her arms and her back a break. Almost done, she was ready to change out of these dirty clothes and spend the night working on the never-ending pile of mending.

She glanced off toward the south and saw a man riding in her direction. Squinting her eyes, she realized it was Deke. He’d come back, and her sisters would be falling all over each other in their haste to attach themselves to the handsome bounty hunter. She had to beat him to the house to stop the carnage and protect him from her wayward sisters.

Why was he returning so soon? Did he have news of Papa’s killer? Anxious to learn the reason for his visit, she slapped the reins on the back of the horse, and the plow moved at a fast clip.

Quickly, she finished the last row and took the till and the horse to the barn. As she walked to the house, Deke rode into the yard.

Ruby threw open the door and danced out onto the porch. “Deke! You came back.”

“Hello, Miss Ruby,” he said, his voice a low, deep drawl as he tipped his hat. “Annabelle. Meg.”

Throwing his leg over his horse, he slid to the ground. “How are you?”

Annabelle and Ruby were smiling at Deke like he was Santa Claus in the flesh.

“We’re great,” Annabelle said, her voice a sultry mix of sweet Texas twang and southern comfort.

Ruby twisted her hands behind her back, pushing her breasts out toward the man. “Perfect as sweet peaches and cool lemonade.”

Meg resisted the urge to give them both a good swift kick in the skirt. They couldn’t have been more obvious with their eyes all dreamy, their voices dripping with honey, and their faces lit up like he was delivering presents. “Okay, ladies, why don’t we invite the gentleman into the house.”

“Come in, Deke. We were just about to sit down to supper,” Ruby invited.

“There are still a couple of pieces of buttermilk pie left that I fixed for dinner last night,” Annabelle promised, her smile gracing her face, her hazel eyes all warm and soft, like she would melt in a puddle at his feet.

“Thanks, ladies, I’m famished.” He unstrapped his saddlebags, removed them from his horse, and carried them in his right hand.

Ruby stood back and waited for him to reach her side, where she promptly threaded her arm through his. He looked down at her, startled.

Oh, this was going to be an interesting night. One poor helpless man and two women chasing after him like they were cats in heat.

Annabelle opened the door and frowned at Ruby.

Meg followed them, shaking her head at her sisters’ antics. This poor man had no chance around these women. It was a wonder they didn’t smother him with their sultry looks and sweet as molasses voices.

“Did you catch James Rivera, the man who hurt our Papa?” Annabelle asked no sooner than the door closed behind him.

Deke smiled and sat his bags on the floor, letting his arm go limp. Ruby had to remove her hand. He opened the flap and pulled out several bundles of cash. Meg stared in disbelief as he raised and handed them to her.

“Your papa’s part of the bounty. I caught the bastard down in San Antonio. After a brief struggle where he suffered a couple of black eyes and sore ribs, I turned him into the sheriff. “ He smiled as he took off his dark cowboy hat and laid it on top of his things.

The girls squealed with delight.

“Oh, my gosh,” Meg said, as she stared at the cash in her hands. It had to be several hundred dollars. Tears welled up in her eyes, closing her throat as her chest squeezed tightly. She refused to cry. She would not cry. She could not appear weak. Here was the bounty money her father lost his life over.

“Your papa was the one who convinced me to go after him and showed me how to find Rivera. Without his help, I would never have caught this bastard. You girls deserve his part.” His warm emerald eyes pleaded with Meg to take the cash.

The cash felt dirty lying in her hand, and nausea clenched her gut. Blood money. Accepting part of the bounty was the last thing she wanted to do, but they were almost desperate. They were one week away from the bank taking the farm. “Deke, you deserve this cash. You caught that man.”

“Take it, Meg,” Annabelle beseeched. “That man is the reason our papa is dead.”

Meg took a deep breath, knowing this would make their lives so much easier. They needed this cash. This was what her papa was trying to earn to pay the note on the farm. She must accept the money; she had no choice. “Thank you, Deke.”

Ruby threw her arms around Deke and pressed her young woman’s body against him.

Annabelle moved toward Deke, but frowned as she watched her younger sister in his arms.

“Thank you, Deke,” Ruby gushed. “Thank you for catching that man and helping us out.”

Annabelle stepped back and stared at the bounty hunter.

When Ruby unfurled her young body from the man, Annabelle whispered, “Thank you. How can we ever repay you?”

He smiled at the group. “You can feed me. I’m starving.”

For a moment, Meg thought she should warn Deke about her sisters, but then decided he was a grown man and he’d probably faced perils far more dangerous than two women. Ruby was vivacious, young, and flirtatious. Annabelle was just lonely and longed for a man of her own.

“Coming right up.” Annabelle went into the kitchen where she started putting food on the table. “Ruby, can you help me please?”

Ruby sighed and went into the kitchen, leaving Meg alone with Deke. “Thank you, Deke. We were down to the blanket.”

The money could help feed them and prepare for the spring planting season. It would do a lot for them, but it still seemed like blood money. The blood of her father.

His eyes widened in shock. “You were broke?”

“Yes, we were about to lose the farm. Papa went back to bounty hunting to make the balloon payment to the bank,” Meg said, thinking what a generous man he was to bring back their papa’s portion of the bounty. The very bounty that had killed him.