Desperate Measures (8 page)

She'd told Pete she had a boring, uneventful childhood. In a way, it was true, and in a way it wasn't. Her family was unlike Pete's early family. So many times she'd wished for togetherness, but it hadn't happened. Now, when she thought about it, there simply hadn't been time for togetherness. After school she went to dancing class and from there to a gym class. She was dropped off at home at five-thirty just as the tutor arrived. She was tutored in everything, even though she didn't need it or want it. “You are going to amount to something someday, Ruth Ann. The only way that can happen is if you're well-rounded and educated.” She'd wanted to snap at her mother and say that to be well-rounded you needed friends, but she would have gotten a lecture about bad habits, going astray, and peer pressure. She'd taken piano lessons, singing lessons, had sung in the choir, attended Bible class, and then the early French and Spanish classes. By the time she was twelve she could speak both languages fluently.

High school had been the same: school, two part-time jobs to save for college, baby-sitting on the weekends. She hadn't gone to one dance, one prom, had one date, or even gone to a football game. “Well-rounded my butt,” she snorted. “I was a misfit. And I wore glasses and braces until the end of my senior year.”

And then it was off to college, where she'd met Pete. Her first real friend. Lord, how she loved him; so much, she ached at times. Tears burned her eyes. She swiped at them with the sleeve of her robe. If there was one thing she was grateful for, it was all the lessons, all the tutoring, the good study habits, for they enabled her to breeze through her own classes and help Pete with his. It wasn't that he was dumb; far from it. He simply lacked discipline and was uninterested in the details of the law. He'd remedied that, though. As long as he had a notepad and his list of lists, he was okay.

Pete was going to be successful someday, and she was grateful she had a part along the way.

“I want you to love me, Pete,” she said aloud. “I want us to share our lives. I can't think of anything more wonderful than having your babies, of talking to you about our cases after the kids are in bed. I want us to read the funnies to the kids on Sunday mornings. I want us to picnic together, I want us to depend on one another, to love each other unconditionally. I want to take care of you and want you to take care of me. I want a family with lots of little Petes. If we ever get married, I want to name our second son Barney. If you only loved me a little, half as much as I love you . . . my life would be so wonderful. So very wonderful.”

Annie cleared her throat. It wasn't going to happen, so why was she torturing herself? She whimpered as she curled into the fetal position. A moment later she was asleep.

It was a new day. Time had a way of marching on. It would never stand still for the Annie Gabriels of this world. Maybe for the Pete and Leo Sorensons of this world. Her world was going to be whatever
she
made of it.

“So there,” she muttered. “You cried your first and last tear for Pete Sorenson. So there.”

 

They were sitting on the steps of Annie's apartment building after the graduation ceremony. He didn't want to let her go. Good-byes were so terrible. It didn't matter that she would be only an hour away by plane. What mattered was they finished what they came to do. Now, both of them were going to take their places in the world. Pete felt like crying.

“Listen, I have a present for you,” he said hoarsely. He handed over a card with two five-hundred-dollar bills in it. “It's for your dress suit for court. You know, one of those knock-'em-dead suits all the female barristers wear. Don't even think about not taking it. Think of it as a tool of our trade. The Blackstone bust is ... a mate to one I bought myself. I figured I was going to have to be reminded from time to time what this crap is all about.

“And Annie, I have all this money left over. You know, I've told you, I barely touched the money Leo gave me each year. I can lend it to you to pay off your loans. Two percent interest. Actually, I don't want any interest at all, but I know you. I won't bug you like a bank if you miss a month. It's yours, Annie.”

“That's so generous of you, Pete, but I can't accept it. I've got some character building to do. I'll be fine. If I ever find myself in a bind, I'll be sure to call you. I have a present for you too. It's not much. More a memento.” She withdrew a small package from her purse and handed it over.

Pete grinned. “A pocket watch.”

“Yes and no. I didn't have enough money for the watch part, so I got the case. I owe you the watch. I put a picture of us in it.”

“I'll treasure it, Annie. This is right up there with my surfboard. Thanks.”

“Don't hold your breath waiting for the watch part.”

“Wouldn't think of it.”

“It's time to go, Pete. My dad is picking me up. It's been ... great. I'll miss you.”

“Me too. I mean I'll miss you too. Leo is waiting for me. We're always going to be friends, right?”

“Always. Forever and ever. I love you, Pete Sorenson.”

“Forever and ever is a long time. I love you too, Annie Gabriel.”

“'Bye, Pete.”

“'Bye, Annie.”

He still felt like crying. So cry, he told himself. He was blowing his nose when Leo walked up to him and offered his hand. Pete shook it vigorously.

“Congratulations, Pete.”

“Thank you, Leo. Thank you for everything.”

“Still hate the law?”

“I don't hate it, but I don't love it either. Let's just say I'm not fond of it. I'm not sure I would have liked engineering either. What I would really like to do is be a beach bum.”

“You and half the world. I'm proud of you, Peter. I'm giving you a month's vacation. I thought you might like to see the Orient.” Leo handed him a ticket. “If you'd rather go to Australia, turn it in and change it. We do a lot of business in the Orient. It's your call, Peter.”

“I'll take the Orient. I'm not ready for Australia yet. Someday.”

“Yes, someday.” Pete thought his uncle's voice sounded sad.

“Let's go, Peter. We have some celebrating to do. It isn't every day I have a nephew graduating from Harvard. Well done, Peter. Well done indeed.”

“I'm ready to celebrate, Leo,” Pete replied.

“Then let's do it.”

Pete felt himself at loose ends. He'd just finished up a
job and had four days to kill, four days to catch up on paperwork. Paperwork his paralegal couldn't handle. He should be doing something, or at least looking forward to doing something. But what?

Leo was away on a business trip. For some reason, every single guy Pete knew had gotten married during the five years since he'd left college, so there was no one to hang out with at night. He didn't have a lady at the moment, but he did have a little black book with dozens of numbers. He knew he could just make a call and have a dinner date and even sex if he picked the right number.

Or, he could drive to Boston. See Annie. Fly to Boston. He would get there quicker. See Annie. Yeah, seeing Annie was at the top of the list. Should he call first or surprise her? Always call first, Sorenson, he thought. Annie's a big girl now, and involved. He'd always thought he'd be the one to get involved first. Why hadn't he?
Because, you dumb schmuck, you thought Annie would ... yessss ... that Annie would see you were the one for her.
Ah, but are you, Sorenson? Can you see yourself getting it on with Annie?
Oh, yeahhhh.
Then how come you didn't after that Paris trip?
Because I was fucking stupid, that's why.
He'd thought she was being nice, thanking him for taking her on the trip, that Annie's kiss had been impulsive. But Annie wasn't an impulse person. He didn't want her to regret it later. How in the damn hell do you know she'd regret it later? he asked himself now. Because she
said
so. She
said
she didn't want to screw up their friendship. She
said
that and a lot of other things. He cared about her too much to put her in that kind of position.

Isn't that her decision?
Who appointed you God, Sorenson? You don't love Annie. If you did, you wouldn't be able to eat or sleep. You'd want to spend every waking moment with her. You'd get light-headed and start to look sappy, and other people would notice. Question, Sorenson: If Annie Gabriel worked here in the city, would you spend more time with her?
Hell yes.
I rest my case.

Love starts off as a friendship and grows. Forget that business about eye contact across a crowded room, that only happens in fiction. Love is something that has to develop. Love is knowing the other person inside and out. Your problem, Sorenson, is you're not ready to commit to anything. Why is that?

He hated these talks with himself. He'd fly to Boston, and if Annie were busy, he'd meander over to Harvard and talk with a few of his old law professors. Yeah, yeah, that's what he'd do if Annie were busy.

In fact, Annie was in court, and his law professors were busy with prior commitments. He called Dennis and made a date for lunch after leaving a message for Annie.

It was a warm day, great for walking. He preferred to walk with someone, but since Annie was in court, he headed for the park to drink in some sunshine and do a bit of daydreaming until it was time to meet Dennis for lunch.

It took him a full five minutes to find an unoccupied bench. He watched the children scamper about, their mothers close by. God, once he'd been that young, but he wasn't carefree like these youngsters with their balls and bicycles. He thought about Barney, and wondered where he was and what he was doing at this very second.

Barney.

Someday, somehow, he was going to find Barney and ... and tell him that when things were darkest, when it looked like he was never going to get out from under, thinking about him and what he'd say and how he'd react was what got him through, so that he was able to take his place in the grown-up world called society. He needed to tell him that Duke and Nathaniel tried to find him.

“You changed my life, Barney,” Pete murmured. He looked around to see if anyone was paying attention to him. It didn't appear that anyone noticed him at all. Still, better not to talk to Barney, better to think about Barney. In the end it was the same, because Barney never answered back.

Aloud, Pete said, “Jesus, Barney, I wish you were here.
”
A second later he was back in his think mode, when two women wheeling baby carriages approached his bench.

Pete looked at his watch. Time to move his feet. He squared his shoulders at the same moment a soccer ball whacked him in the back, moving him two steps forward.

“Gimme my ball, mister,” a child of six or so bellowed.

“Yeah, give him his ball,” a second, older-appearing child said belligerently.

“I'm sorry, mister,” the first child said.

“I know that, son, here you go,” Pete said, holding out the ball. The second boy stared at him.

He was back in Iselin, New Jersey, and he was staring at himself and Barney. He grinned. “That was some kick.”

“Don't you be talking to him, Sam, he's a stranger,” the older boy said.

“He's right, son,” Pete called over his shoulder. “Always listen to your friend.”

“I'm not his friend, I'm his brother,” the boy shot back.

Pete stopped and turned. “All the more reason for you to listen to him,” he said, his eyes on the boy named Sam.

 

Two drinks into lunch made Pete realize he didn't like his old roommate Dennis at all. He was a know-it-all, my-way-is-best type. Why hadn't he seen that side of him when they were in law school? Because he was so damn busy spending all his time at Annie's, he thought, so Dennis could bring his dates back to their apartment, that's why.

What the hell did Annie see in him?

“So, Pete, how's it
really
going? The legal scuttlebutt is you're going to be a legend in your own time. The know-it-alls are taking bets. Five years they say.” Pete heard the envy in Dennis's voice and chose to ignore it.

“Well, I'm busting my ass, if that counts. I'm traveling three weeks out of every month. I know just about every hotel in the world, and the stewardesses call me by name. If that's the stuff legends are made of, then maybe so.”

The envy was still in Dennis's voice when he said, “Those in the know are saying you walked away with five hundred thou for a real estate deal you worked out in Gstaad. True or false?”

“Put a one in front of the five and you'll be on the money,” Pete lied.
You deserve the lie, Dennis. I'd never even dream of asking you how much money you make.

“Jesus! I guess it pays to be connected. I'm gonna be slaving away for the rest of my life, and when I die, I probably won't have that much socked away.”

Pete finished his beer and signaled for a refill. Dennis was drinking a vodka gimlet.

“So, Pete, what's your game plan? If you're earning the kind of money you claim, what are you going to do with it? You
say
you're busting your ass, so that doesn't leave time to spend it. I don't get it,” Dennis said, slurring his words slightly.

There was no way he was going to tell this son of a bitch that he donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to orphanages all over the country, Pete thought. There was no way he was going to tell him he was doing his best to provide for his own future and a rainy day. Dennis would never understand. Dennis wouldn't care either. Dennis lived for the moment. Spend, spend, was Dennis's credo.
Jesus, Annie, what have you gotten yourself into?

“Well?” Dennis snapped.

“I just sock it away and let it earn interest. Why, are you thinking of hitting me up for a loan?” Pete asked irritably.

“Are you offering?”

“No,” Pete said curtly.

“Annie told me you offered her a loan to pay off her student loans and she refused. She has pride. So do I. We'll make it on our own. We don't need you to lord it over us.”

“What's this
we
stuff? Is that how you look at it, I'm lording something over you? Kiss my ass, Dennis. I thought we were friends. I value friends and work damn hard to keep them. You know what? You aren't worth a good spit. What Annie sees in you is beyond me. I'll get the check, since I invited you.”

He paid the check at the front of the restaurant and was outside a moment later. He drew deep, ragged breaths. What was
that
all about? Whatever it was, he wasn't ever going to allow it to happen again.

 

Pete hailed a cab to the courthouse. He'd watch Annie in action. Maybe he'd pick up a few pointers. Annie was the best.

He settled himself in the back of Judge Leland's courtroom. She looked good. Damn good. Annie was wearing a navy-blue suit with a high-necked, white silk blouse. A single strand of pearls looked to be her only jewelry. He felt something tug at his heart.

When court adjourned at four-thirty, Pete walked up to the railing and said, “Hey, counselor, how about a drink? Looks like you're going to win this one.”

Her smile was the prettiest thing he'd ever seen. “Pete, how nice to see you. I love it when you just pop in. Are you here to visit, or just passing through?”

“Well, I was going to invite you and Dennis for dinner, but he and I had lunch and I blew any thoughts of that happening.”

Annie frowned as she snapped the lock on her briefcase. “I swear this thing gets heavier every day. Pretty soon I'm going to need a dolly to carry it. What happened, did Dennis get on his high horse, or did you say something out of line? You're good at that, Pete.”

“Let's walk, it's beautiful out. Give me the bag,” he said, reaching for Annie's briefcase. She willingly handed it over.

When they were outside, walking, Pete asked, “What's with you two? Have things changed since last month when we talked?”

“Nope. Things are the same. Dennis ... Dennis wants it all now. Look, I'm not being disloyal, Dennis tells anyone who will listen that he has no patience. He wants the best cases, the highest fees, and he wants to be able to spend money . . . the way you do. He has never gotten over that Paris trip.” She shrugged.

“Are you two going to end up together?”

He didn't realize he was holding his breath until Annie said, “Who knows? If it doesn't work, it wasn't meant to be. We're for now.”

“I want to know something, Annie. I want you to tell me the truth. Do you love Dennis?”

“Do I ask you about the women you go out with? There are some things, Pete, that are very personal and private.”

“I'm not
involved
with anyone. Besides, I'd tell you the moment it happened. Well?”

“I like him. Dennis can be very charming. He can even be considerate when he puts his mind to it. He's a very good attorney, Pete. He'll make it if he develops a little patience. But to really answer your question, no, I'm not
in
love with him. I don't think he's in love with me either. Like I said, we're for now, Pete, it's that simple. And I resent you asking me.”

“Someone has to look out for you. Sometimes, Annie, you don't have enough sense to come in out of the rain.”

“Damn it, Pete, I resent that too. Keep up this line of talk and you'll be going back to New York minus
two
friends.”

That
should have been enough to shut him up, but it wasn't. “I worry about you.”

“Well, don't. I've been taking care of myself for a long time. As you can see, I'm doing just fine.”

And she was, that was the part that bothered him.

“We're here,” Pete said, holding open the door to a dimly lit bar the local attorneys favored. He felt a pang of something he couldn't define when several attorneys, some male, some female, stopped Annie to chat or just touch her arm in passing. Everyone liked her. And why the hell shouldn't they? She was the nicest person to ever walk the earth.

“I want a cold beer and something hot to nibble on,” Annie said after they sat down.

“I'll have the same, except you do the nibbling.”