Despite the Angels (38 page)

“I don’t think it’s going to work, not in the short term,” Trynor answered, “Watch.”

Lucy pulled herself up in the bed, so that her eyes were level with Martin’s. “Please explain.”

“I told you,” Martin said, “I’m going to take this new course, become a jeweller. You can charge good prices for unique items in precious metals. We’ll be rich!”

“And in the meanwhile?”

“Well, I’ll keep my job during the course. It runs weekdays, six till nine. And one Saturday a month, unless we ask for more.”

“So I’m going to be on my own, nearly all the time. With a tiny baby. You said you were going to be supportive; I don’t think I’ll feel supported. And how much does it cost?”

Martin looked at his hands. “Not too much. The savings account covered the first term.”

“What do you mean, the savings, and ‘covered’?” Lucy was worried now.

“I took out the money from our account and paid the deposit for the course with it. Simple.”

“That was our money, Martin. More than half of it was mine. You should have asked. We should have discussed this. We had all sorts of plans for that money. Including a decent couch. A new cooker. Not a pipe dream. And now it’s gone. We’re stuck with a couch that should be in a skip. A cooker that doesn’t always come on. You’ll have to start saving again, harder.”

“Oh, I won’t be saving for a while. I have the two other terms to pay for.”

“How much?” When Martin told her, Lucy winced. “But that won’t leave us enough for the mortgage. Never mind the bills.” Tears began to creep down her cheeks.

“But you have a good job. We’ll be fine.” Martin put out a hand and rubbed Lucy’s shoulder. “My girl is great, a real Liberated Woman!”

“He’s doing it again, Roki,” said Trynor, “Having his own life at her expense. Stole her job last time, stealing her freedom and choices this time. You should stop him.”

“It doesn’t feel liberated, to be sitting here with a new baby, being told I’ve been robbed. That I’m going to have to go on working full time. That my baby is going to have to have a minder.”

“It’s only for a year. Then I’ll be working with gold and precious stones and we’ll be in clover. Come on, Lucy, give me a smile. I’ll make something beautiful for you first. You should be pleased you have a husband with get up and go.”

“I was pleased to have a husband with a secure job. Plenty of people don’t. Jen’s Peter was made redundant last week.”

There was a tentative knock at the door. “Can we come in?” Betty Browne put her head round the door and went straight over to the little cot, smiling down at it and stroking the baby’s hand. Robert came to the bed and leant past Martin to kiss Lucy.

“So, how’s my girl? And my other girl?”

“I’m fine, Dad. And Aisling is great. The feeding is going really well.” She smiled and looked over at her mother, who now had Aisling in her arms and was crooning softly to her. Lucy hoped the tears would not show on her face. She didn’t feel up to explanations just now. Or having to stand up for Martin. She needed to get used to the way life was going to be now. Busy. Working full time, if she could get the hours; minding the baby on her own in the evenings. Oh, please, she thought
, let him just do the course but stay in his job afterwards. Then we can get back to normal. Maybe he could make his jewellery in the evenings, as a hobby. It would be a good hobby, maybe I can get him to teach me. I wouldn’t mind having a go. I wonder would I be any good?

“You would be spectacular, my darling. But there is no point. You have done that, in Crete, in ancient Rome, one of the times in China, when you weren’t making the fabulous pottery and once I think in Germany. Enough. Time to do something else. Just enjoy wearing the jewellery this time.”

“You’re a selfish bastard, d’you know?” Kathleen slammed a plate down in front of David, so that the piece of battered fish on it jumped. “You completely ignore what I want, don’t do anything I ask, even when it’s for a really good reason, and I’m here sorting out everything about the house for you.” Kathleen’s speech was very slightly slurred and David looked at her more closely.

“Have you been drinking again?”

“There you go again. Nothing I say is valid. Always blamed on drink, or PMT, or something. Never on you. Bollocks.” She sat down and rested her head on her hand, staring at him angrily. David looked back at her, partly glad that the girls were away at a friend’s house, but mostly wishing they were here, to defuse Kathleen’s wrath. Maybe she wouldn’t be drunk if they had been here.

“What have I done to upset you, Kay?”

“Still the same. No change. Still argue about everything I want. Never come home and offer that we’ll go away somewhere, I always have to ask.”

“How could I offer? When would I get the chance? You’re nagging at me about it all the time.”

“Well, if you suggested it first, it would be nice.”

“I’d have to suggest on the second day of a holiday that we’d go somewhere else. That’s when you start nagging.”

“That’s a lie. I love our holidays. Why else would I want to go?”

David reached for the ketchup. “I don’t know why you want to go, love. I know you love it the first day. I’ve said that before, I love you the first days. Then you change back and push me away.”

“I told you, years ago, no vasectomy, no touch.”

“Not that again? You seemed to get over that idea, actually, you were quite friendly for a few months after that,” David reached out for Kathleen’s hand. “Let’s try to recreate that. How did we do it?”

“Haliken did it, David,” said Jotin, “we needed you off that hook and he pulled out the stops, got Kathleen to feel more sexy. Couldn’t keep it up, though, sorry.”

“I don’t remember how I felt. I only know you are always on at me.”

“Oh, Kay,” David sighed, “I don’t think expecting to make love to your wife is abnormal, you know. I think most men do it.”

“Maybe they’ve all done what their wives asked.”

“You’re not trying to tell me you think every other man out there has had an operation?”

“Sandra’s husband has,” Kathleen sniffed, “so she feels respected. Not just used.”

David stared at her. His friend Ken had been home this summer and had confessed that he had had ‘the snip’ as he called it. But he had five children, so he had to ‘do something drastic’, as he had said. His wife had had to have a section for her last delivery, twins who had been lying the wrong way. “And we only have to look at each other, and she’s pregnant,” he had boasted. “You’re lucky, just the one set of twins, and then freedom!” David thought back over all this and wondered if Ken had done it as a gesture of respect to his wife. Seemed a bit cold. The way he had nudged David and winked didn’t seem cold at all. Quite the opposite. Kathleen’s angry voice called him back to the present.

“Why are you staring at me like that?”

“I’m sorry, I was thinking. Ken had a vasectomy.”

“First good thing I’ve heard about Ken, then. He has some sense.” She got up and went over to the counter, where a heap of papers languished, waiting to be dealt with. She rummaged through them and pulled out a coloured leaflet, which she slapped down on the table in front of David. He picked it up. ‘Family Planning Services’, it was headed, and then, ‘Vasectomy’. He read through it and looked at Kathleen again, his fish growing cold on the plate between them.

“Why now, Kay? You haven’t mentioned this for ages. Are you feeling like being cuddlier for some reason?”

“You want me in that way. That’s the deal. Or no more at all.”

“Not even on holidays?” David tried to keep the mood light, but found he was struggling.

“Not even then.”

“Oh, Kay. You don’t leave me much choice, do you?”

“Yes. You always have choices, Davy. Leave her. For goodness sake, you’d get more sex if you did! We’ll watch you, keep you safe till Lucy leaves Martin. Once little Aisling is a bit bigger, once Martin has finished his course, we reckon she’ll see sense and run. Come on, no operations now. Dawn is waiting for you to be ready for her.”

David sat woodenly and stared ahead of him. He couldn’t work out why this suggestion bothered him so much.

“My fault. I’m saying too much. NO VASECTOMY! Leave her!”

“I’ll leave the choice to you, Kay.”
Jotin screeched softly in frustration and then said “No, trust me, David, trust.”

“I’ll trust you. You make an appointment for this first visit and we’ll follow it up.”

“What do you mean, you’ll trust me?”

“Did I say that? I suppose I’ll trust you that things will improve, once this is done. That you’ll relax.”

“Of course I will,” Kathleen leant over the table and kissed him. He put up a hand to her head and stroked what she had left of the thick curtain of hair he had fallen in love with. It was still thick and slightly curled now, but it had lost a lot of its old sheen. Maybe that would return if they could rediscover what they had lost.

“Don’t count on it.”

“I’ve a terrible confession to make, Trynor,” Jotin was sitting hunched, protecting his energies from passing guides and other spirits. I tried as hard as I could, but I didn’t succeed. He’s having the operation this morning. Misunderstood everything I said to him. So unless we can get him together with Lucy in the next few months, before the sperm die off, we’re out of time. Sorry.”

Trynor sat down and put out a hand to Jotin. “Don’t take all the blame. It was me who made the biggest mistake here.” He stood up and paced up and down a little, his energies circling his head as they wove patterns of thought. At last he sat down again.

“I don’t know that you need to be too hard on yourself, really. I mean, I can’t be sure I’ll get her away from Martin at all. She’s really busy now, he’s doing that course and she is so busy with her work and the baby, she just doesn’t hear me at all.”

“What a change,” Jotin’s tone was sarcastic, “when do they ever?”

“I know. We’re not really getting through, are we? Maybe we need some more training, before their next lives. We have to get this sorted next time.”

“You feel we’ve had it, this time round?” Jotin was jiggling his energies, as though trying to keep himself warm.

“Well, let’s look at the facts,” Trynor said in a voice that began to bubble with amusement, “they are both, possibly irretrievably, married to other people and he now can’t get anyone pregnant. Good material for making a baby, which is the whole point.” He sat down and his energies began to subside, in a way that would have reminded a human watcher of a pressure cooker after it was taken off the heat.

“Well, all’s not lost.”

“We know that, really. In what way in particular?”

“They have a lot to learn, all of them. Patience, forbearance, tolerance. They can do all of that.”

“Don’t forget enjoying life. They need to do that too. That’s what we should do. Help them to enjoy. And try to practise getting them to hear us.”

“Yes. We’ll have lots of time for that,” Jotin stood up and stretched, “But first I have to check on some of my other humans. They’ve been a bit neglected recently. See you round.”

David looked over at Kathleen, who was sitting hunched over an atlas, turning a strand of hair through her fingers. He noticed again the deep furrow between her eyes and the pinched look to her mouth. She had used to smile all the time before they got married, in fact that was one of the things that had attracted him to her. Now she looked permanently cross and worried. Poor Kay, he thought. We’ll never be able to fit in enough away time for her to be able to cope when we’re here. I can’t afford the time, or the money. He thought back to their last holiday, with the girls, when they had gone to Spain on a package trip. That was fun, playing in the Mediterranean with them, three of them squeezing onto one pedalo, the girls giggling and pushing. Better than the Irish Sea any day, it was no wonder that Kathleen wanted to go. But then David remembered that it had been him playing with the girls, while Kathleen lay on her sunlounger reading. She hadn’t joined in, not once. She had wanted to go on the supplementary coach trips and had enjoyed the one they did manage, but it wasn’t enough. Kathleen just had wanderlust and it was carving a trough down her forehead. The vasectomy hadn’t made any difference, not in the long run. She was still happy and sexy on the first day of the holiday and gradually less friendly after that magical day. She didn’t actually refuse him now, when he approached her in bed, but she didn’t respond, just lay there and waited politely for him to finish. He had thrown away his precious picture of ‘Clothilde’ after she had fulfilled her purpose of emptying his tubes after the vasectomy, thinking he would not be needing her again. But he had had to buy another magazine. No Clothilde:- he fleetingly hoped she had moved on to a better job, as he transferred his attentions to Paulette, a busty blonde. She’s not much less responsive than Kathleen, he thought, smiling behind his hand and she never sighs.

“Kath?” said David, surprising himself. He didn’t usually start conversations these days, in the hope that peace would reign for longer and Kathleen might become more content.