Destined (31 page)

“I did not mean to startle you,” she said.

“Yeah, well, it’s been a spooky kind of a day,” I said, and then remembering how the wind had swirled around her when she’d gotten pissed at Dallas, I added, “Hey, do you have an air affinity?” She lifted a brow at me, and I also remembered how super scary and powerful she was and said, “Unless it’s none of my business. I don’t mean to sound rude or anything.”

“It is not rude to ask, and my closeness with air is no secret. It is not a true affinity. I cannot call the element, though it often manifests when I have need of it. I have long thought that air stays close to me because of my true affinity.”

“Death?” Now I was really curious. “I’d think spirit would stay close to you because of your affinity.”

“That does seem logical, but my affinity has only to do with helping the dead pass on, and sometimes soothing the living who have been left behind.” We walked slowly, falling into an easy rhythm beside one another as we talked. “The dead move like the wind, or at least they do as they manifest to me. They are ethereal, diaphanous. They appear to have no real substance, though they are, indeed, very real.”

“Like wind,” I said, understanding. “It’s real. It can move things. But you can’t see it.”

“Exactly. Why do you ask about air?”

“Well, it’s been acting kinda crazy today. I wondered if you felt anything weird going on with it.”

“As in it being manipulated?”

“Yeah, definitely,” I said.

“No, I could not say that I have felt air being manipulated.” She glanced up at the branches of the closest tree where the wind, gently, lazily, had them swaying in time to a slow, silent tune. “Seems all is quiet now.”

“Yeah, it does.” And I wondered if maybe it wasn’t the element air that was responsible for the branch almost smooshing me.
Don’t be so darn paranoid,
I reminded myself firmly. Then Thanatos’s next words wiped all thoughts of weird wind and paranoia from my mind.

“Zoey, I must ask you two things: first a question, and then your forgiveness.”

“You can ask me anything you want.”
But I’m gonna be careful about how I answer you,
I added to myself silently. “And I don’t know why you’d need my forgiveness.”

“The question first, then I shall explain. I would like to ask that you join me in a class discussion tomorrow.” She held up her hand to stop me as I opened my mouth to answer her with an “okay, whatever.” “You should know the discussion will be about recovering from the death of a parent.”

All of a sudden my throat felt really dry. I swallowed and then said, “That’s gonna be hard for me to talk about ’cause I haven’t gotten over my mom’s death.”

Thanatos nodded and then, not unkindly, said, “Yes, I realize that. But there are several other students who have also not recovered from losing a parent, though yours is the only loss, thus far, due to death.”

“Huh?”

“Three other students asked the same question as did you.”

“Really?”

“Yes. You must know it is a universal experience for those of us who complete the Change. We are not immortal, but we will outlive our human parents. Many of us choose to sever ties with the mortals from our childhood early in our vampyre lives. That seems to make the eventual loss less painful. Some of us maintain relationships with the people from our past—for some of us
that
makes the loss less painful.”

“But it’s not like either of those things for me. I’m not a vampyre, and my mom was killed—she didn’t just die of old age.”

“Were you very close to your mother?”

I blinked hard, not wanting to cry. “No. Not for the past three years.”

“So, is your biggest struggle the manner of her death?”

I thought carefully about her question before I answered Thanatos. “I think that is part of it. I think knowing exactly what happened to her would help me have closure. But there’s also the fact that now that she’s gone, there’s no chance she and I will be close again.”

“But that chance is only over for you and her in this lifetime. If she waits in the Otherworld you could reunite there,” Thanatos said. “Did she know the Goddess?”

I smiled, this time through my tears. “Mom didn’t know Nyx, but Nyx knew my mom. The Goddess sent me a dream the night she died. I saw Mom being welcomed to the Otherworld.”

“Well, then, that sadness should be alleviated from your spirit. All that remains is the uncertainty surrounding her death.”

“Her murder,” I corrected her. “Mom was killed.”

There was a long silence and then she asked, “Exactly how was your mother killed?”

“The police say by druggies who were ripping off my grandma’s house. Mom was there and got in the way.” My voice sounded as hollow as I felt.

“No, I mean
how
was she killed? What were her wounds?”

I remembered Grandma saying that her murder had been vicious, but that Mom hadn’t suffered. I also remembered the shadow that had passed over Grandma’s expression when she’d told me about it. I swallowed hard again. “It was violent. That’s all Grandma told me.”

“Your grandmother saw her body?”

“Grandma found her.”

“Zoey, is there any way your grandmother would speak with me about your mother’s murder?”

“I’m sure she’d talk to you. Why? What good would that do?”

“I do not want you to become overly hopeful, but if a death is very violent the very fabric of the earth is sometimes imprinted and I can access those images of death.”

“You could see how Mom was killed?”

“Perhaps. Only perhaps. But I need to question your grandmother first to know if it might even be possible.”

“I can’t guarantee how much Grandma will say. Right now she’s observing the seven days of ritual cleansing after a death.” In response to Thanatos’s questioning look I explained. “Grandma’s a Cherokee Wise Woman. She keeps the ancient religion and its ways.”

“Then it is important that I speak with her immediately if there is any hope of resurrecting the images from your mother’s death. How many days have passed since her murder?”

“She was killed last Thursday night.”

Thanatos nodded. “Tomorrow will be the fifth night since her death. I need to speak with your grandmother today.”

“Okay, well, I’d take you out to the lavender farm, but I know she doesn’t want anyone out there until it’s cleansed.”

“Zoey, does your grandmother not have a cell phone?”

“Uh, yeah. You wanna call her?”

Thanatos’s lips tilted up. “It is the twenty-first century, even for me.”

Feeling like a moron, I rattled off Grandma’s cell number while Thanatos put it in her iPhone.

“I will call her, but I would rather do so alone.”

Thanatos’s look said she really didn’t want me to hear the kind of questions she was gonna ask Grandma, and I quickly nodded. “Yeah, I understand. That’s okay with me. I need to get to sixth hour anyway.”

“May I ask your forgiveness first?”

“Yeah, sure. But what for?”

“I told an untruth earlier. I would ask your forgiveness for it, and I would also ask that you keep what I am about to tell you close to your heart. Do not even share it with your Warrior or your best friend.”

“Okay. I’ll keep it secret.”

“When Stark asked if I could see the Darkness that surrounds Neferet and Dallas’s red fledglings, my answer was a lie.”

I blinked. “You mean you can see Darkness?”

“I can.”

I shook my head. “You need to ask Stark and Rephaim and Stevie Rae for forgiveness, too. They’re the ones who can see Darkness with you—they’re the ones the lie would hurt most.”

“They cannot know. I have your word that you will keep this secret.”

“Why? Why should I know and not them?”

Instead of a clear answer, she just started talking. “I have lived almost five centuries. For most of that time I have dealt with death daily. I have seen Darkness. I have seen its carnage, its waste, its wages. I recognize its threads and shadows all too well. Perhaps it is because I have watched it for so long that I can also see that which is its opposite—that which causes the strength of Darkness to weaken, to falter.”

“What are you talking about!” I wanted to scream.

“You, Zoey Redbird. There is something about you that cannot be touched by Darkness; therefore, it is your fate to stand in the Light and lead the battle against evil.”

“No. I don’t want to lead any battle. You do it. Or ask Darius to. Or even Stark. Hell, get Sgiach and the Guardians! They’re all leaders. They’re all Warriors who know how to fight. I don’t know anything. I don’t even know what to do without my mom.” I ended up gasping for breath and pressing my hand against my chest. When Thanatos didn’t speak, when she just held me with her dark eyes I finally managed a less crazy voice and said, “I don’t want this. I just want to be a normal kid.”

“That may be part of why this has fallen on your shoulders, young High Priestess, because you do
not
want it. Perhaps the power that goes with the claiming of it will not be able to corrupt you.”

“Like Frodo,” I whispered, more to myself than to Thanatos. “He never wanted the damn ring.”

“J. R. R. Tolkien. Good books—excellent movies.”

I gave her a
look
and said, “Yeah, I know. It’s the twenty-first century. You probably have cable.”

“I definitely have cable.”

“That’s cool for you, but let’s go back to the Ring Bearer stuff. Uh, if I remember correctly, and I do ’cause I’ve seen the long extended version of the movies like a gazillion times, Frodo is basically destroyed by this ring he didn’t want to bear.”

“And thereby he saved his world from Darkness,” Thanatos said.

I felt a freezing shiver wash down my spine. “I don’t want to die. Not even to save the world.”

“Death comes to us all,” Thanatos said.

I shook my head again. “I’m no Ring Bearer. I’m just a kid.”

“A kid who’s already won her life back from Darkness, not once but several times.”

“Okay, if you get that—and if you get that Neferet is on the side of Darkness ’cause
you can see it
why are you pretending like you don’t?”

“I am here to settle the issue of Neferet and her true allegiance once and for all.”

“Then tell the High Council about the Darkness that surrounds her!”

“And have her admonished slightly only to return, perhaps stronger, to do more evil? What if she is really the Consort of Darkness? If that is truth, then the full might of the High Council must come against her, and for that to happen we must have unequivocal proof that she is forever lost to the Goddess.”

“That’s why you’re here. To get that proof.”

“Yes.”

“I won’t say anything about you seeing Darkness. And I’m telling you the honest truth—get ready to see a whole bunch of it. Get ready to find your proof because I know with everything inside me that Neferet has gone over to it.” I almost added that she’s not even mortal anymore. But, no. That was something Thanatos needed to discover for herself. “Oh, and I forgive you. Just promise me you’ll keep your eyes open and when the time comes, you’ll make sure the High Council does the right thing.”

“I give you my oath on it.”

“Good,” I said. And then while Thanatos was calling Grandma I did finally return to sixth hour.

Shaunee

She hadn’t had any idea how much it would suck not to be Erin’s Twin anymore. It was like that one thing—not having Erin as her BFF—changed the whole blueprint of her life.

It was so damn confusing.

When had she lost Shaunee and become Twin? She really didn’t know. They’d been Marked the same day and arrived at the Tulsa House of Night the same exact hour. And they’d been friends right away. Shaunee had thought that had been because they were like soul sisters ’cause it hadn’t mattered that she was black and Erin was white. That she was from Connecticut and Erin from Tulsa. They’d been
friends
and all of a sudden Shaunee hadn’t felt lonely anymore. Especially ’cause she never had to be alone. Literally. She and Erin were roommates, had the same class schedule, went to the same parties, they only even dated guys who were friends.

By herself in her seat on the bus Shaunee shook her head. She could hear Erin laughing with Kramisha somewhere in the back of the bus. For a second a mean little thought snaked through her mind:
guess she’s trading me in for another black girl BFF.
But Shaunee stopped that crap right away. It wasn’t about skin color. It never had been. It was about not being able to be alone. Which was super ironic because figuring that out had somehow put her in a position where she was alone.

“Hey, can I sit here?”

Shaunee’s gaze shifted from staring out the window at the lightening pre-dawn sky to Damien standing in the aisle of the bus.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Thanks.” He sat beside her and dropped his heavy book bag between his feet. “I have soooo much homework. How ’bout you?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I guess. Hey, did you see Zoey sixth hour?”

“Not during sixth hour. She has Equestrian Studies and I have business class, but I saw her right after school. Why? What’s up?”

“Did she look okay to you?”

“Okay? Like physically okay or not-stressed-out okay?”

“She’s always stressed out. I mean physically.”

“Yeah, fine. What’s going on?”

“Nothin’,” Shaunee said. “It’s just that I, uh, saw her at the beginning of sixth hour. Me and her, we talked over here by the parking lot. Then we went back to class.” She studied Damien, wondering if she should tell him the truth. “Did you feel anything weird about the air tonight?”

Damien cocked his head to the side. “Nothing odd. Well, it was windy, but that’s not really odd for Oklahoma. You know we’re the state where
the wind comes sweeping down the plain
,” he sang.

“I know that, Mr. Broadway Musical. All I’m saying is the wind was blowing
really
hard when Z and I split up, and I thought I heard something about tree limbs falling and—”

“A tree limb did fall.” Stark butted in as he and Zoey slid into the seat in front of Damien and Shaunee.