Destined to Change (15 page)

She was standing in front of me in a lacey black bra and panties. I stripped down to nothing but my socks. I didn’t have time to take them off. Priorities.

I couldn’t wait another second. I grabbed her and kissed her hard. I thrust my tongue into her mouth. I didn’t want this to end. There was something about this woman. I couldn’t say for sure what it was. But it just felt right.

I started licking a line from her throat to her nipple.  When I bit down she hollered.  I straightened up and looked into her eyes.  Those beautiful, fucking eyes.  She saw my tattoo on my chest and leaned in and licked a trail all the way around it.  I couldn’t take another second of this.  I had to be inside her, now.

I motioned for her to follow me over to the couch. I turned her until her stomach was pressing against the arm of the couch. I covered her body with mine. Grabbing her panties, I ripped them off of her and threw them across the room. I unhooked her bra and started to massage her breasts, paying special attention to her nipples. They were so hard.

She wanted me just as much as I wanted her. I could feel it. My hand found its way to her pussy. She was so wet and ready for me.

I started to press into her from behind, when she said, “Condom. You promised.” She was breathing heavy and rubbing her backside up against me. I was about to explode and I wasn’t even inside her yet. I left her just long enough to grab my wallet and get a condom. I got back over to her and entered her in one hard thrust. She screamed out, “Oh my God, Cade.”

After the couch, I took that woman in every position I had ever tried or imagined. She was fuckin’ amazin’. She made me howl more than any other woman ever had. When she finally had enough and fell asleep, I laid awake just watching her breathe. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. There was somethin’ about her. I ran my hand along her jaw and she twisted to press her cheek into my palm.

This woman was gonna be trouble. I could already feel it in my...heart. Seriously? What the fuck was happenin’ to me? I don’t have feelings for women. I fuck women. That’s it. No sappy love stories here. What the hell was makin’ me want to know more about her?

Jaxon

“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked Stacy.

“I should ask you the same thing. I’ve missed you so much, baby. Why are you here? Why did you leave Richmond?” Stacy sashayed over to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. I pushed her away.

“Are you still using?” I asked.

“No, baby, I quit that shit a long time ago. I’ve been looking everywhere for you and finally your mom told me where you were.”

She looked sincere, but with Stacy you could never tell. Her pupils looked normal and she didn’t look like she was using. She had actually put on a little weight. She was still really small, but she had some meat on her bones.

“Where have you been, Stacy? I looked everywhere for you. It was like you fucking vanished.”

“I was in rehab, baby. Trying to fix me, so I could come fix us. I love you, Jaxon. I have loved you since I was a kid and I always will.”

Before I knew what was happening, she was kissing me and touching me and trying to push her tongue into my mouth.

I pushed her away, using a little more force than I meant to, and she fell to the couch. “I can’t do this with you Stacy. When you left I filed for divorce. All I need you to do is sign the papers. As far as I’m concerned, we have been divorced for almost two years.”

She burst into tears. “Is this because of that country bumpkin you were banging on the desk when I walked in here?”

I couldn’t even look at the woman sitting in front of me. This was not the same woman that I had loved. I had to keep telling myself that. She was not the love of my life. She was just my ex-wife.

“I love her, Stacy. I really love her. She’s my future, and I need you to remain in my past. I need you to sign the papers and move on with your life. Can you do that for me?”

Stacy was still crying. “I have something to show you that might change your mind. You need to come out to the car with me?”

I agreed and followed her out to her car. I noticed as we got closer that there was a woman sitting in the front seat holding something in her lap. When we reached her car I realized the woman was Stacy’s sister Megan and the “something” she was holding was a little girl.

She looked to be about a year old – maybe, I don’t know, I couldn’t really tell. When I looked over at Stacy she was smiling from ear to ear, “I would like to introduce you to your daughter. Her name is Jazmine, but I call her Jaz.”

I couldn’t move, I couldn’t speak, all I could do was stare at the beautiful little girl sitting in front of me. She looked just like Stacy. But how could she be mine? Could she be mine?

“Stacy, she’s mine? Are you sure?” I asked.

“Of course I’m sure, Jaxon. I always used a condom with everyone but you. She has to be yours.”

“That’s bullshit, Stacy. You were so high most of the time, you have no fucking idea if you used a condom or not.”

She looks just like you Jaxon. I know she’s yours. I have no doubt that she is ours. We made her with our love. How can you deny that?” Stacy pleaded with me.

“I’m sorry Stacy, but I can’t take your word on this. I need a DNA test. If she’s mine, I want to be a part of her life, but we are through. I don’t love you, and I don’t want to be married to you.” I didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but I needed to make her understand. I couldn’t stay married to her even if Jaz was mine.

Jaz was so beautiful, little, and sweet. I would love for her to be mine. I know that would complicate my relationship with Lor, but had always wanted to be a daddy, and Stacy and I tried for so long and it didn’t happen. I was so afraid I couldn’t have kids of my own. I needed this test, I needed to know, and I needed to know as soon as possible.

I couldn’t hold Jaz yet. I didn’t want to have any attachment to her until I knew for sure. “I can call the clinic in town and see when we can schedule a DNA test,” I said.

“It’s not fucking necessary, Jaxon.  She’s yours.  I know that with all my heart.” Stacy said as she stepped closer to me and tried to put her arms around my neck.

I pushed her back and said, “I want the damn test, Stacy. I’ll call and get it scheduled.”

Stacy nodded and I went back inside and made the call.  The clinic said they could see us first thing in the morning and we would have the results in a couple of weeks.

Stacy informed me they were staying in town and she would meet me at the clinic in the morning.

I had to try to fix what I fucked up with Loralei.  I didn’t handle any of this well.  I should’ve ran after her, but I didn’t.  I didn’t do a damn thing to stop her from leaving.

I drove to her house and she wasn’t home.  Since she wasn’t there I went to her parents’ house.

“Mrs. Harper, is Loralei here,” I said sheepishly when she answered the door.

“No, Jaxon.  She isn’t here,” She answered with a “go to hell” look on her face.

“Do you know where she is?” I asked.  I was having a hard time making eye contact with her.  I knew that she knew what had happened earlier.

“She doesn’t want to see you right now, son.  You need to give her some time.  To be perfectly honest with ya, I’m not real happy with ya either.”

How could she be?  I had just hurt her daughter.  I hadn’t meant to, but I was shocked when I saw Stacy.  I didn’t know what the hell to do.

“Mrs. Harper, it was never my intention to hurt Loralei.  I love that woman, so damn much.  I need to fix this.  Please tell me where she is.” I was almost begging.

“I think you need to go home and sleep on it.  Think about what’s happened and how you intend to fix it.  Give Lor some time to think about things too,” She said.

I couldn’t argue with her.  I was sure Lor needed some time to think.  I couldn’t stand the thought of not seeing her until tomorrow, but it was better this way.

“Did she go on to Joplin?” I asked sheepishly.

“She did, Jaxon.  But I’m asking you to give her until tomorrow.  I think you both need to calm down before you do something you wish you hadn’t.”

I agreed to not go to her until tomorrow, but that didn’t keep me from calling her.  I knew she wouldn’t answer, but I called anyway.  I didn’t sleep a wink and didn’t even change my clothes.  Nothing mattered until I could speak with Loralei tomorrow…just a few hours and I could try to fix this.

Chapter 7

Loralei

I had to get away from Cade, but how? We were in my room and once again I was struck with disbelief at what I had done. I called home to check on the kids and wish them good luck at school while I thought up a polite way to get Cade to go the hell away.

When I finally walked back into the bedroom, Cade was awake and on the phone.

“Yeah, a couple of western omelets, fried potatoes, and some biscuits. Thank ya kindly ma’am.”

He looked up at me. “I thought you might be hungry after last night, so I ordered us some breakfast.”

All I could say was, “Thanks.” I was having a hard time even looking at him, every time I did I could hear him howling or see a flash of him on top of me or hear some of the dirty things he said during sex.

He got out of bed and walked to the bathroom, still naked, not a care in the world. When I saw him walk away, I realized why my lady parts were so damn sore - that man was huge and I mean
huge
in every way. I was surprised he didn’t split me in two with that damn thing.

But if I was so repulsed by it, why did I get kind of excited when I thought of him maybe wanting to do that again? I really was a slut. What had happened to sweet little naïve Lor? I didn’t know, but this Lor was going to enjoy life and do whatever she needed to do to forget all about what’s-his-name. The man I would now refer to as “asshat.”

Breakfast was delivered, and Cade came walking in with a towel wrapped around his waist while he used another towel to dry his short blonde hair. We sat and ate in silence. A couple of times when I ventured a look up, I noticed he was staring at me. With the whole “Cade’s in my bed naked” debacle this morning I forgot to turn my phone off. Apparently Jaxon was awake because it was now ringing non-stop.

“Aren’t ya gonna answer that, hon’?” Cade said, scrunching his eyebrows at me.

I just shook my head and shoveled a huge bite of omelet into my mouth.

All of a sudden Cade’s face got really serious. “I need to ask you a question hon. Is that your husband you’re ignorin’?”

I couldn’t believe he thought that. How could he think I would do something so horrible? I mean I knew he didn’t know me at all, but what kind of woman would do something like that?

“I would never do that. I’m not married now. Actually, I’ve never been married.”

He looked really relieved. “That’s good to hear hon, real good.”

As we finished breakfast Cade asked, “Any big plans for today?”

I didn’t expect him to hang around; I kinda thought this would be more of a “wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am” type of thing.

“I do have plans while I’m here, so it would probably be best if you went ahead and left and got back to your business.”

He stood up, dropped his towel and stepped around the table to me. “I would rather you do what you promised me you would do last night.”

Holy hell
, what had I promised to do?

This couldn’t be good, the man was standing in front of me, naked, and I couldn’t remember what I had promised while I was drunk, and in the throes of passion. I looked up with my eyes bulging out of my head, I gulped. “Uh, what exactly did I promise to do?”

He grinned. “You told me if I would wear a condom and not try to get you pregnant like the asshat did, you would do anything I asked you to do to me.”

Had I really promised something like that? I didn’t think I would do anything that stupid, but that part about the asshat sounded about right.

“So what would you like for me to do for you Cade?”

He let out a little chuckle, leaned down to my ear, and whispered, “I would really like for you to suck my...” before he could finish his request someone pounded on the door, yelling my name. I knew who it was, but I sure as hell didn’t want to talk to him not now, not ever. He wouldn’t let up, yelling, “I am going downstairs, and I will make them give me a key to your room. You are going to talk to me whether you want to or not.”

Cade gave me a puzzled look, asking, “Asshat?”

“Yep that would be him. We are not married, he apparently is, but he didn’t bother to tell me that before he slept with me, so I don’t really think we’re anything right now.”

“It sounds like you have some stuff to work through, and it would probably be a good idea if I was gone before he gets back up here. Unless, do ya think he’d hurt you? Are you scared of him? I can make sure he doesn’t lay a hand on you.”

“No, Cade, I’ll be fine, but I do think it would be best, if you went to your room now.”

“Will I see you again?”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Cade. I have some stuff I need to figure out. This was a mistake. I never should have let it happen. I’m so sorry I used you like that.”

He closed the distance between us and put his arms around me. “Hon, you can use me like that anytime. Last night was not a mistake. It was amazin’. Didn’t you feel that spark, I felt?”

I pulled out of his embrace. “Sorry, no spark, but thanks for helping me make it through last night; I don’t know that I could’ve done it without you.”

He leaned down and whispered in my ear, “Hon, most of the things we did last night you definitely couldn’t have done without me.” He gave a low chuckle and pulled his jeans on. I watched him a little too closely as he buttoned up his shirt and slipped his boots on.

He got out of the room about a minute before Jaxon barged in. He looked awful. His eyes were all red and puffy, like he’d been crying and probably not sleeping. He had on the same clothes he had on the last time I saw him.