Destined to Play, Feel, Fly Trilogy (23 page)

‘Hmmm, lucky me, an enigma
and
having a name that matches my blood type, what a coincidence.’ Thankfully, the needle is removed before I can be too concerned, his monologue about my blood type providing appropriate distraction from his actions. He swiftly places cotton wool on the entry point and bends my arm for me. I shake my head in defeat.

‘So, are you now bottling my blood, due to its “uniqueness”?’ I ask as I notice how many tubes he has filled. No wonder I have been feeling weak. The nurse efficiently removes the vials and herself from the room.

‘Some of the research Ed and I have been involved in investigates the “newness” of the AB blood type to the human race and its particular characteristics and we’ve developed some interesting hypotheses. Your involvement in the experiment enabled us to confirm that AB blood has fascinating results when the female is Anglo-Saxon — reflecting the societies where depression is endemic — and these results are even more pronounced if she has completed a full birthing cycle and is pre-menopausal, as you are. That is why we need to monitor your hormone levels and correlate them to the fluids sourced from your orgasms.’

Just when I think it’s impossible for him to provide any more shock value, here we go again. Is this science fiction or reality?

‘So that is what you just handed the nurse before?’

‘Exactly. Our results over the weekend have been more conclusive than we were expecting, so we’re a tangible step closer to finalising the formula we aspire to. We’ve been analysing the release of hormones into your bloodstream and correlating them to the secretions of your prostate gland during orgasm. This has confirmed the production of naturally-induced serotonin which stimulates your nervous system. Even more so than we anticipated. Now that we can continue to monitor your hormone levels and sexual activity as it occurs, we can test and finalise the formula that’s been eluding us until this point.’

This discovery is both intriguing and somewhat disturbing, given my direct involvement. No one does cutting-edge medical research quite like Jeremy! He gives me a moment to absorb his words, and then it dawns on me.

‘I have granted you your greatest wish, Jeremy. I am officially your human guinea pig.’ I don’t know why I am stunned by this realisation after so many years. In hindsight, it is so blatantly obvious.

‘Sweetheart, you know you are so much more than that.’

‘Since we met, I have been your guinea pig, your practice patient … blood tests, injections, bandages, and casts. What has changed? Nothing. You’re still doing it, except we are older, have more responsibilities and you very clearly have far more money, power and access to resources than we ever had back at uni. Which just ups the ante on the risks you are willing to take and, heaven help me, I’m considering coming along for the ride. I’m a mother for god’s sake!’ Strange that all of this is just dawning on me now.

‘Oh, come on, Alex, you love it, you always have.’ He snuggles into me with his puppy dog eyes and kisses and canoodles. I try to nudge him away without moving my arm
just in case we end up with blood dripping over the white linen sheets. ‘And besides, since when did motherhood give you permission to deny your sexuality?’

Jeremy and his killer questions — how, pray tell, do I respond to that? I try to think of a stinging response as my stomach launches a tumultuous cry. The perfect excuse to change the subject.

‘I could really devour a burger with the works and some super-chunky fries. Can you magic that up for me?’

‘I’ve no doubt that could be arranged, but you are having a delicious spring vegetable soup, it’s almost ready.’

‘No, you don’t understand. I really
need
fat-saturated food, seriously.’

He starts packing up his medical bits and pieces. ‘However, it’s a great sign that you have your appetite back. It has been a while.’

‘Jeremy, it’s not fair, after all you have put me through.’

My eyes search for a phone but I can’t see one so I try to shift towards the edge of the bed. He pulls me back by the ankles.

‘No way, AB, you need to stay right here. I mean it; I don’t want you off this bed. If you move, I swear I’ll attach you to it.’ I realise I still have the bands around my wrists and ankles; therefore his threat is a distinct possibility, just as he did before.

‘You can’t tell me you have the legal right to keep me bound to the bed?’

The look on his face reminds me of one of those psycho movies where the unstable psychiatrist is able to lock up innocent patients, all presumably for their own benefit. God, that can’t be possible, can it? Do we honestly give doctors that much power? He grins to show me he’s joking, in this instance at least.

‘Okay, okay, I’ll stay put, but when are you going to take these off?’

‘After you have eaten all the soup.’

‘I am not a child, Jeremy!’

‘I can assure you I’m very well aware of that fact, Alexandra. Your body needs good nutrition to fully recover.’

I dutifully eat all of the soup he insists on feeding me, until every last drop is consumed.

‘Well?’ I ask, when finished.

‘I’ll see what I can organise.’

Content, full, and more clear-minded than I have been since my arrival on Friday evening. I rest my head against Jeremy’s chest. He also seems calmer, more at ease than he has been. Automatically, he strokes my hair and face. He has always been exceptionally tactile and I love this about him.

‘I’m so relieved I didn’t have to present to the AMA. There is no way I could have done it.’

‘Hmmm, you do have a lot to thank me for I have to admit,’ he says teasingly. ‘Seriously, Alex, you had me worried for a while there. It will take you more than a few days to recover, so you won’t be going anywhere until the end of the week.’

‘You know I can’t stay here, as much as you appear to be delighting in my entrapment. I have other commitments, regardless of your plans.’

‘Sweetheart, you have no commitments this week except for me looking after you. And you know how seriously I take my work.’

I raise my chin to look up into his eyes, to help me decipher his words and assess their truthfulness. ‘You’re not joking.’

‘Not at all. You are my one and only responsibility until I chaperone you to your plane back to Hobart.’

‘But you can’t! You have nothing to do with my lectures. Fair enough the AMA but there are others …’

‘I do and I have. You are mine for the week. Period. I promise it will not impact on your work in any way, shape or form and besides, part of your work is for me now, anyway.’ He looks very pleased with himself as he adds these words. ‘This whole event has been carefully orchestrated at so many levels, with limitless funding. Do you understand what I’m trying to say to you? Our meeting on Friday night didn’t occur by chance, Alex. The entire plan has been in place for months. We provided the funding for the Tassie tiger trip for your children when it almost fell through, and sponsored your recent research and supposed series of lectures this week.’

I am beginning to realise that this whole weekend is about much more than it first appeared to be. I am a pawn in Jeremy’s greater game of life.

‘But why?’

‘My world is no longer complete without you in it.’

His words shoot like Cupid’s arrow into my heart, leaving me speechless.

‘Here, I think these can come off now. They have served their purpose.’ He picks up some kind of magnetic rod from the bedside table and carefully slides it along the seam of the leather bindings, releasing them. No wonder I couldn’t remove them. I must look shocked as he offers me further explanation.

‘They were magnetically locked, you need this instrument to remove them and they’ve also been serving the purpose of
continually monitoring your pulse.’ He really does look smug now.

‘Your invention?’ I question.

‘Unfortunately not, but as you know, I do work with some very clever people.’ What hope did I ever have? Strangely, their absence from my wrists and ankles makes me feel disconnected, as if something meaningful is missing.

‘I’m really pleased you are starting to feel better, but it’s important that you stay in bed and rest now. There will be plenty of time to discuss all this later.’ Although his words sound gentle, I sense they are steadfastly non-negotiable. He ensures I’m snuggled in tight beneath the duvet, kisses my forehead and leaves the room in darkness once again, closing the door behind him. I am asleep in minutes.

J
eremy isn’t in the room when I open my eyes again but to my great relief, the bedroom door is open. I don’t appear to have any clothes in this room, so I gather up the sheet and wrap it around my body. The light streaming through the doorway temporarily blinds me so I take a moment to allow my eyes to adjust to the brightness they have been denied for some time. Walking through the doorway makes me feel suddenly uneasy, as if I’m crossing over a threshold to another world. It then dawns on me that this room is not the same as the second room at the hotel. For some reason, I had just assumed we were back at the Hotel InterContinental and Jeremy had sensibly wanted to set up hospital in a room other than the master suite.

Startled by this realisation, I instinctively tighten the sheet around my body and tentatively step out into a whole new world.

‘Oh, you’re up. I’ve just made some green tea.’

He takes one look at me and places the cups immediately back on the bench. The look of astonishment on my face isn’t subdued by the sunglasses he quickly retrieves and hastily hooks around my ears, presumably to lessen the extraordinary
intensity of light on my eyes. I stare at him, utterly speechless as I step into the expansive space, sheet trailing behind me.

The colours ambush my vision as I am assaulted by the blueness of the cloudless sky, the greenness of vast, lush forest and the complete and utter absence of any civilisation. The sheer cliffs of the mountain peaks provide a stunning backdrop for the crystal waters that sparkle beneath a shimmer of white sand. I take a few moments to blink and comprehend this vista, before continuing my silent exploration, unable to form words. My eyes cruise past an enormous deck and fall upon a sunken spa bath as if it’s embedded within the horizon. A huge modern kitchen opens into a quasi-formal dining room and lounge room, complete with ultra-modern fireplace suspended in the middle of the room which is surrounded by the largest lounge suite I have ever laid eyes on. My sea legs slowly zigzag my body across the split-level room as I try to absorb this vast, remote environment.

How? When? Where?

Everything appears round or circular — truly unique to my eyes. Jeremy remains still as he allows my continued investigation. I move further along a corridor and open up a double set of doors into what is clearly the master bedroom. The room itself is round and surrounded by glass panels and is built within the canopy of the forest. A luxurious, sophisticated treehouse. In the centre of the room is an enormous bed, also circular, with the round pillowing on its outer edges, obviously made to measure and decorated with the finest of gold thread. The décor and colours of the room blend in perfect sympathy with the environment — except for the stark contrast of a mass of deep red blooming roses, with all but a few fully opened. Just as Jeremy promised when we met. Their beauty takes my
breath away. I sense the tears in my eyes as emotions swell in my heart at the enormity of everything I have experienced with him since then. I have honestly never felt like this in my life. I quietly walk around the entire room, examining the view from every aspect. Again I search for any sign of humankind. Nothing. Just us and nature. Although the beauty surrounding me is close to overwhelming; I can’t help but wonder — where on Google Earth are we?

I feel a little light-headed with this being up and about business. I sit on the edge of a gorgeously soft, sandy-coloured marshmallow lounge chair, completely overcome by this totally new environment. Jeremy enters the room with a grin on his face and walks over to me, hugging me from behind.

‘See, I said you were mine for the week.’

My words take a little while to be spoken aloud. ‘Jeremy, where are we?’

‘Avalon,’ he answers smoothly. ‘A place where we won’t be disturbed by anyone and I can look after you completely.’

‘But, where is Avalon?’

‘That, unfortunately, I am not at liberty to say, but as you can see, you won’t be going anywhere until I know you have completely recovered.’

I don’t know what to say or how I’m feeling. If I thought him taking my phone away from me left me feeling disconnected, it was a drop in the ocean compared to this!

Jeremy suggests that now I’m feeling better, we should move into this room and excuses himself to organise the transition. Utterly perplexed, I flop into the middle of the peculiar round bed, once again overwhelmed by the surreal reality in which I have landed. When he returns, he is bare-chested with a towel loosely hanging around his hips. A very encouraging sign, I
think to myself as he smiles and cups my face in his hand. One look at his toned torso and I pray this isn’t a dream.

‘Why don’t you replace your sheet with this towel and join me in the hot tub?’ He hands me a towel and I wrap it under my arms. He scoops me up and carries me out through the lounge room, out through the massive glass doors and onto the balcony.

This place is unbelievable. I think I’m in shock as I just stand staring transfixed toward the magnificent views. Jeremy unravels my towel and discards his own, our naked bodies descending into the awaiting water together. It’s wonderfully warm, although I notice my butt stings slightly as it hits the water. I wince at the sensation. He notices immediately.

‘Is it bad? I feel awful that you are in pain. I can give you something for it.’

‘No, no, it’s okay. I’m fine, honestly, no drugs required.’ I allow myself to become fully submerged in the water.

‘It’s only a shock because I still haven’t quite got my head around everything that has happened, and the intensity comes flooding back as I feel it in my body or down there … which is all just too strange.’

I breathe deeply and close my eyes as the thoughts and feelings come flooding through my mind, too many, too fast. I quickly reopen them to disrupt the flow. I can’t help but wonder if it feels this intense because of my lack of vision when I went through the experiences.

‘Why, Jeremy? Why choose me? Was it just because of my blood type and female profile?’ I return his stare, wanting to question his soul, but I allow my eyes to drift away before I become lost in their depths. He remains silent for a while strokes my body very gently, carefully, as though I’m a delicate peach.

‘It could never have been anyone other than you,’ he states simply and meaningfully. I attempt to interpret the intensity behind his words.

‘But the whipping … or whatever it was …?’ I find it difficult to articulate the words out loud, but the thought alone stirs some deep carnal spring as heat rises within my core. God, what hope do I have if the mere memory does this to me?

‘You looked sensational, Alexa, I had to muster all my strength to not take you then and there.’

‘I have never been more scared in my entire life, Jeremy. I didn’t have a clue what was going on, what was coming next and god, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but the whole experience was literally mind-blowing — even though I was being punished for asking questions. I mean, what was that about?’

‘It was important that you believed the consequences were real and measurable, so the fear was genuine and released the relevant hormones, without going to the extreme.’

‘If that wasn’t extreme … I’ve never experienced more extreme emotions, volatile emotions, unbelievable feelings …’ I feel my blood pressure rising and raw energy pulsating through my veins.

‘I had to push the boundaries with you, you know that. I knew you could take it, knew that deep down you wanted this more than you’d let yourself believe. So tell me, was the pain worth the pleasure?’

Again, just his words trigger the waves from deep within. These sensations are the most bizarre thing I’ve experienced. As if they are a trigger to immediately extinguish any regret or anger or hurt. Soft, warm, orgasmic waves penetrate through me, causing what feels like my whole body to flush with a glow of pure sexuality.

‘Oh … Alex, this is truly incredible. Clearly, I have my answer.’

He glides me through the water so I’m resting between his legs. There is no use pretending to argue with him, pretending this isn’t happening, so I close my eyes and allow the rhythms dancing within my loins to overtake me again.

‘You were wet, moist, engorged, more so each time you were struck. It was as if your body craved it. Honestly, sweetheart, you were dripping with desire. I was checking, monitoring, making sure you were physically sound every step of the way. The data we collected from a fear and pleasure perspective had a greater correlation than we’d ever imagined …’ My body’s reaction distracts him. The feeling of the memory is as instant as it is vivid. Probing fingers deep within me, never knowing when it would happen next or for how long, then desperately hoping they wouldn’t leave.

‘God, Alex, this is incredible; I can literally feel the reaction you are having as we talk about it. I can’t wait to take you through the detailed results; such unexpected insights. Having you on both sides of the experimentation process was sheer genius and I am completely in awe of how you surrendered to the process. I have so much to thank you for. I know it wasn’t an easy decision for you to make.’

It means a lot to me to hear him acknowledge this truth out loud.

‘I’m still coming to terms with it all. I had no idea that I’d take to it so much.’

‘I’m pleased you are finally getting to know the woman I love.’ How did he know this about me before I did? ‘A letter is being drafted as we speak to invite you to become an exclusive member of our core research team because of your skills and
expertise. Your involvement is essential to our success, now more than ever, as our research progresses to the next phase.’

I have no idea how to respond. I agreed to be involved in this research and take an active part in the experimentation process. I have now experienced what I never thought I was capable of and survived, yet I have never been so physically debased and pleasured simultaneously. How does this work in our brains? How was I capable of experiencing such sheer, unadulterated pleasure under such extreme circumstances?

I more than survived — I loved it. Would I do it again? Under certain situations, absolutely. Do I want to learn the answers to all of these questions? More than ever! He massages my shoulders as if to rub away any potential concerns I may have and I take solace in our quiet time together. Eventually he lifts me, with such delicacy, out of the hot tub and painstakingly dries my limbs before we snuggle together on the lounges, soaking up the warmth of the sun.

‘Did you ever believe your body was capable of experiencing what it did over that forty-eight hours — even in your wildest dreams?’ The memory of multiple euphoric orgasms is still palpable and Jeremy holds me tight as the pleasure of it threatens to collapse my body, again. Thankfully, I’m already lying down. It is impossible to be anything but pleased with him when my body experiences such waves of pleasure, in perfect recollection. ‘Tell me, describe to me what is happening to you.’

I try to explain the bizarre sensation to him when my breathing has returned to its normal rhythm.

‘The memories are so strong and so unbelievably intense, it overwhelms me physically. You mention it and my body reacts, immediately.’ He waits silently, patiently for me to continue. I guess he knows everything anyway so I decide to continue.
‘I had this amazing … well … very real fantasy, I suppose you’d call it. Truly incredible. I was so in the moment, and the moment was so powerful, like I was at one with the world, and then it felt like there were tongues everywhere … I couldn’t focus …’ I’m embarrassed saying it out loud; even after all we have been through.

‘They were everywhere, penetrating, probing my inner depths. I just don’t know how to describe it fully, it was so immense, intense …’ I look at him nervously as he studies my face and analyses my words. ‘I have no visual memory of it, just the complete force and concentration of the sensations. It takes over my mind and consciousness for a moment. I don’t understand how a memory can trigger such a response, Jeremy. Is it even possible? If not, what is happening to me?’ I look toward him, seeking his answers. He pauses momentarily.

‘There was no fantasy about it, Alexa. It was all very real.’ My body aches with primal lust at his words. My blush is long and deep, as is the throbbing below. ‘Having blocked your other senses, you were only left with touch, until we eventually added sound. Your cognitive processes are connecting the intensity of your feelings to your physical being. That is, they have become neurologically linked, which is why your body and mind are reacting so strongly to that specific memory or anything that triggers the memory. This is exactly what we were hoping for, actually, more than we’d hoped for. This is the critical part of our research, our uncharted waters, so to speak. With your knowledge in psychology coupled with having experienced it personally, we will end up learning more about female sexuality than has ever been researched, let alone published.’

I am dumbfounded at his words; the conversation with Samuel and his ‘elite researchers’ comes floating back into my
consciousness. No doubt he will be thrilled with the results. I become suddenly anxious at the thought.

‘Jeremy, Sam wasn’t there, was he?’

‘No, Alex, he wasn’t. I’d never do that to you. Just two of my colleagues and some people we organised for your “real fantasy”.’

‘Thank god.’ That’s a relief. My arse could only deal with being on display if it were anonymous.

‘But I have copied him in on the results and can’t wait to discuss them with him. All going to plan, we will be able to develop a drug for depression that the market has never seen before, without the sometimes horrific side effects of what is currently offered, achieving far greater success and reliability for the patient.’

‘Honestly, you’re really that much closer because of what I went through?’

‘You are fundamental to our success, my love. You are at the very heart of what we are hoping to achieve.’

‘I can’t believe we will be working together after all these years, Jeremy. Who would have thought? Tell me, what is the exact nature of the role you want me to play in the future?’