Destiny Undone: The Complete Series Box Set (45 page)

I’d promised to help at the tank and I was going to keep my promise. However, I wanted to do one other thing. I was going to have it out with Evangeline—once and for all. She was going to know what I really thought of her. I was done tiptoeing and letting her run the narrative.

I just knew I couldn’t tell Gabe. He’d try to talk me out of it but I had to do this for me—and for Mills—and for Dad. I wondered if he was still dating Charlotte. I rarely saw her or heard him talk about her anymore. I hoped Evangeline hadn’t done something to break that relationship up. Another reason to hate her. I’d liked Charlotte. She was the nicest girlfriend that Dad had ever had.

I turned my thoughts back to planning my confrontation. I knew she wouldn’t answer my calls, so I’d have to find her. Where would she even be? It wasn’t like she had a real job anymore. Other than being a vindictive old whore.

Suddenly, it hit me—her yoga instructor lived on Destiny Beach. Mills had once told me she went there every morning for private yoga lessons to help her ‘find her center’—or was it chi?

Whatever the hell it was, she’d be there. My plan quickly came together. I’d show up there and tell her how I felt. There wouldn’t be reporters or a bunch of other people lurking around. It would have to work.

I got up and went to join Gabe in the shower. Sadly, by the time I arrived he was already getting out. “Leave me any hot water?”

“Of course, beautiful. I’d love to stay, but I’m gonna go check on Mills. I heard her throwing up in the hall bathroom when I went to the kitchen to start the coffee. Anything we can do for her?”

“Not really. About all I’ve been able to do is hold her hair back, but I’m sure she wouldn’t want you to do that for her.” I stepped into the shower but I left the door half open so we could talk as Gabe dried off and started getting dressed. “You headed right into the office?”

“Yes, actually, I am. You want to ride with me. My mom will be here if Mills needs anything.”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine here or Dad can come get her if things have settled down over at the house. I’ll take my own car because I have to make a pit stop. I want to stop by Jack Rogers this morning and get some new work clothes. You need anything?”

“Just you! Don’t be long, though. I want the employees to see you are back at work and that everything is taken care of.”

“Sounds like a plan, Baby. I’ll be there in a couple of hours. Any word on Sophie this morning?”

“No, not yet. There probably won’t be, either. I get the feeling the less she sees of me, the better.”

“God, that whole thing was so weird,” I agreed with him.

“I’ll say. What a nightmare.” He pulled a shirt on just as I was rinsing my hair. “I’m gonna go get some coffee. Come out when you’re done so I can say goodbye.”

“Will do!” I called back.

I hurried through the rest of the shower and dressed quickly. I decided against blow drying since I was just going to get it wet again at the pool with Singh. I padded down the hall and stopped at Mills’ room to check on her. She was lying on the bed and looked pale.

“Are you going to live, baby girl?” I asked, sitting on the edge of her bed.

“Oh, God, I think so. How are you and your loud sex buddy?”

I laughed and covered my mouth with my hands. “Oh, my goodness! You heard us?”

“Yeah, but I’ve heard worse.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, first of all, I lived in a dorm room. Secondly, Dad and Charlotte used to spend most of their weekends together at the house, holed up in Dad’s room, if ya know what I’m sayin’.”

I wrinkled my nose.

Mills ignored my face and continued. “Dad is so ridiculously loud. I used to have to walk around wearing headphones to block it out. But, I guess I don’t have to worry about that anymore.” Her voice was soft and sad.

“What do you mean? Did they break up?”

Mills nodded.

“What? Why?” I was shocked by the news. I’d been so wrapped up in my own world with the adoption news and everything with Gabe and Sea Lab. I hadn’t felt very connected to Doug since he gave me the news, and I guess in some ways, I had detached a little bit since moving out.

“Well, she didn’t like the way he handled the situation with you. She thinks he should have told you about the adoption a long time ago. And she told him—yes, I’m an eavesdropper—she told him he and Mom needed to quit using you as a pawn between them. She told him she thinks he must still love Evangeline.”

“Well, that’s just ridiculous. She’s unlovable,” I scoffed.

“Why else would he refuse to stand up to her? I mean, I kind of get what she’s saying.”

I didn’t have an answer. Doug and Evangeline’s relationship was complicated at best, hostile at worst. I usually stayed out of it and hoped eventually it would become a non-issue.

“I don’t know. But I’m sad that Charlotte broke it off. I know she made Dad really happy. Maybe I should see if I could have lunch with her or something.”

Mills stopped me. “No, Pepper. Don’t interfere. Things are complicated enough right now, don’t you think? If it’s meant to be, it will work out. Just like you and Gabe and me and Fallon!” She smiled but turned green again. “Uh oh, I have to go. Talk to you later.” She ran back to the bathroom and I could hear her dry heaves through the wall.

Poor girl. I hoped this violent sickness wasn’t going to last much longer.

I got some coffee, made a piece of dry toast and took it back to the bedroom. I dug through my clothing bags as I nibbled on the toast, looking for something to wear to work. In the end, I settled on shorts and a Sea Lab shirt. My little fib to Gabe wasn’t actually a bad idea. It would be nice to pick up something fun and nautical-themed from Jack Rogers, but I wouldn’t have much time. Maybe tomorrow I could stop by.

I Googled the yoga instructor’s address and plugged the info into my phone’s GPS. I felt bad leaving Mills hugging the toilet, but I knew this was the best chance I had to get Evangeline alone, and hopefully stop the madness.

It was an easy drive, really, to the beachside yoga resort. There were teakwood walkways and an interesting Asian garden on the way to the yoga yard. I opened the gate and surveyed my surroundings. I found my ex-mother easily. She looked ridiculous in a bright yellow, spandex suit with leggings and a cropped top. She did have the decency to wear spandex bottoms, too. Her hair was piled up on top of her head in a wild ponytail. She looked like someone right out of a 1980s Jane Fonda workout tape.

The instructor, a slim, bird-like woman, had her hand on Evangeline’s hip, correcting her form slightly. As Evangeline turned into the next pose, she spotted me and tumbled right out of her pose, landing in an undignified splat on her pink mat.

“What are you doing here? What do you want?” she snarled at me.

“Oh, Mom. Not happy to see me? I can’t imagine why. It’s just your adopted kid, Pepper Anderson. Well, maybe not Anderson but let’s not get into that just yet. I actually came by to see you, MOM.” I said the “Mom” word as loudly as I could.

The instructor murmured an excuse and left us alone in the yard.

“I guess you know, MOM, that you will be a GRANDMA soon! That’s right! GRANDMA, or G-MA or maybe GRANDMOTHER! Now that’s not from your adopted kid, MOM. That’s from your real child. She’s made you a GRANDMA! Isn’t that great?”

Evangeline sneered at me. “Stop it, Pepper. You’re embarrassing yourself.”

I looked around the deserted yard. “No, I’m not. You’re the only one embarrassed by our family. I’m proud of who I am, even if I don’t have all the pieces. I’ve learned that I’m strong, independent, and that not only do I have the capacity to love, but I’m actually lovable. That’s right, I’m in love. Someone loves me. Well, actually, a lot of people do.”

“What is your point?” she snapped at me. “Why don’t you call your therapist or something? I’m sure they’ll be much more interested in your breakthrough.”

“God. Why are you such a monster?” I threw my hands up. “This isn’t about me. I’m mad as hell, but I’ll be okay. I know who I am now. This is about Mills and your future grandbaby. You need to get it together. Not for me, but for them. You can’t pull this psycho shit with them!”

“Don’t you dare tell me what I can and cannot do, Pepper. I’m a grown woman.” She stooped over and started to roll up her mat.

I grabbed her arm to stop her. She flung her arm back as though I’d burned her. “Then you need to act like it. Otherwise, I’m going to take matters into my own hands. I’ll call Oprah myself to set up my own interview. She wants a story? She’ll get the whole story, the real story. My story. Then the whole word will see who you are.”

She froze and said in a low voice. “You hate me that much? You want to destroy me?”

“No, I don’t hate you. I feel sorry for you. There is a huge difference. I just refuse to allow you to have any more control of my life. It ends here. It ends now. That’s it, Evangeline. I’ll never call you Mom again. I will never call you, period. This is over!” I turned and left her staring after me as I walked back to my car.

I pulled out onto the freeway and headed towards Sea Lab. I was still shaking from the conversation with Evangeline. I’d meant every word. If she stepped one more French-manicured toe out of line, I’d be on the phone with Oprah’s production team so fast it would make her head spin. I started rehearsing my side of the story, imagining myself out on that stage, spilling my guts to the world.

I didn’t want to do it, but fighting fire with fire was sometimes the only way to go.

To clear my head, I decided to do a little shopping after all. I wanted to get to work and see Gabe and Singh, but not feeling the way I was. It would be too hard to focus, and if I’d learned anything, it was that working at Sea Lab required all my attention.

It took me longer than I expected and I ended up shopping for over two hours. By the time I left, my car was loaded down with bags full of cute new shorts, tops, totes—and, of course, a few pair of shoes. I’d also bought a bunch of stuff for Mills and my future nephew. She needed a pick-me-up after being so sick. I decided to take everything back to Gabe’s place and then change for work so I could wear one of my new outfits. Something Gabe would love seeing me in.

“Mills? Mills? Are you here?” I wandered around and didn’t find her right way. “Mills? Are you lost?” I laughed until I saw her lying on the couch, her face swollen and red from crying. “Sis? What’s going on?”

“She tried to kill herself, Pepper. Dad is on the way to the hospital.”

“Who? Charlotte? Sophie? Who?” I felt the desperation rising.

“Evangeline. She overdosed on sleeping pills this morning. They’ve got her at the hospital now, pumping her stomach. Oh, my God, Pepper. I did this! She heard about the baby online and now she’s so depressed that she, she tried to…oh, my God!” She cried and sat up, putting her arms around my neck but I barely felt her. I was numb. Completely numb.

Mills was sobbing, her entire body shaking with the force of her tears. “Shh, shh. Sweetie, it’s okay.”

No matter what I said, I couldn’t change Mills’ mind. She was convinced it had been her that had driven Evangeline to the edge when I knew perfectly well it was me. I had done this. I’d challenged her and threatened her.

Now she was dead, or almost dead.

I couldn’t help it. I cried too. That’s where Gabe found us when he came back home. Mills was sick and in no shape to visit the hospital and I didn’t have the courage to go. What if she saw me and tried to kill herself again? I couldn’t have her attempted suicide on my hands twice in one night. I realized that deep down, I did love her—even if she could never love me the way I wanted her to. I must have broken her heart. Broken it into a million pieces.

Now what? What could I do now except wait and see what would happen next. For the first time in a long time, I prayed and hoped somebody up there could hear me.

“I’m sorry, Mother. I’m so sorry.” I kept saying it over and over again. What would happen to us now? I didn’t know, but I was more grateful than ever that Gabe was here with me, ready to walk through the wreckage beside me.

Once we got Mills calm and asleep, I pulled him to the bedroom and sat on the bed. I poured out my heart and told him what I’d done.

“I just wanted her to hurt like I hurt. Now I know that it worked, but I had no idea she was so broken—that she’d respond like this. Her overdose isn’t just for dramatic flair. She was that hurt. I hurt her that bad. I’m such a bitch, Gabe.”

“No way. I’ve seen you at your worst and your best. You might be a strong woman and have some strong opinions, but you are not a bitch. She never let you see her weakness. She never let you know how much she cared. This is just something that happens in families, sometimes. All we can do is wait. But you gotta stop blaming yourself, Pepper. You’ve been blaming yourself for everything, all your life. Now, it’s time to set it free. Set her free. Love her no matter what, because now you know. Now you can see she’s emotionally frail, just like Sophie. Sometimes, the signs aren’t there on the surface—you have to look a little deeper. It’s okay, I’m here. It’s going to be okay.”

Someone knocked on the door. Gabe went to check it out and it was Fallon, looking for Mills. Gabe led him to her, resting in her room. I was glad he’d shown up for her. It was a good sign for their relationship. She needed him now.

Gabe was right. Everything he said was true, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling hanging over me. I prayed again that she’d recover completely. If not—well, I’d have to find some way to deal with it.

At dinnertime, no one was really hungry, but we all sat on the couch watching the news and waiting for Dad to call. Each time the phone rang, I thought it was him but mostly it was well-wishers and friends who wanted me to know they were praying for her speedy recovery.

This was going to be a long day. Sooner or later, I’d have to go to the hospital and sit face-to-face with her. I wondered if she’d accuse me or cry when she saw me. I wasn’t sure, but I knew I had to see her before… before anything happened.

Now the tables were turned. I needed
her
to forgive
me
.