Destiny's Path (34 page)

But on the way home Maia wept silently, unable to stop the tears falling.

Sean was sitting in the back of the cart, scowling in the direction of the church. He exchanged glances with his master and said suddenly, ‘I think I’ll stretch my legs a bit.’ He got off the cart and as they left him behind, Conn put one arm round Maia and left the horse to find its own way home. ‘My darling, I’m sorry. So very sorry.’

‘It wasn’t your fault.’

‘I can’t bear to see you weep like this. What can I do?’

She looked at him blankly. ‘Do? Why, nothing. We can’t change what we’ve done, and I don’t want to. But . . . I don’t think I’ll go to church again. I’m not strong enough to outface ostracism each month.’

‘How did they find out?’

‘Does it matter?’

‘Of course it does. Someone working for me must have told people, and that sort of disloyalty I can do without.’

But he had no need to dismiss anyone. One of the stable lads sent a message that his parents didn’t want him working there any more and he was sorry to let Mr Largan down. For a while the other stable lads stared at Maia as if she’d changed overnight, but after Sean had spoken to them sharply a few times, they stopped doing it.

Maia didn’t let herself weep again, because it wouldn’t do any good and would only hurt Conn, who was feeling guilty.

He held her close that night, not making love, but she could feel his love surrounding her.

‘What have I done to you, my darling? I should be taken out and hanged for being so selfish.’

‘They’d have to hang me too, then, Conn, because I came to you willingly. And in spite of – everything – I don’t regret it.’

‘No. Heaven help me, neither do I. You’re all the world to me, my darling.’

When they reached Westview, Kathleen jumped down from the cart and vanished into the stables. Without saying anything, Leo went after her.

‘Sometimes only he can calm her down,’ Livia said.

‘She seemed different today,’ Reece said with a frown. ‘More uncontrolled and so very angry. It’s not as if she and Conn are even living together. They’re trying to get an annulment.’

Livia couldn’t hold back a sigh. ‘She sets a lot of store on doing things the right way. The correct way to behave must have been dinned into her as a child and young woman. But she does seem to be getting stranger, almost by the day, and I’m finding it harder to keep her peaceful. I couldn’t manage at all without Leo.’

‘If you need help, don’t hesitate to come for me,’ Reece said, still not signalling to the horse to move on.

‘I’ll be all right, I’m sure.’

‘Perhaps Conn should find some other solution for her.’

‘What other solution is there? And what other solution to my present problems could
I
find? Francis left me nearly penniless. I won’t dip into my meagre capital because it’s all I have behind me. The money Conn gives me is what keeps me going in my daily needs.’

‘You know we’d never see you go hungry. And later, when we get the rest of Cassandra’s money, we’d like to buy your land.’

‘I know. But I need more than food. I need to find a more pleasant way of life and I can’t decide what to do. Perhaps I will open a school, after all. Or buy a house in Perth and offer lodgings to people. I don’t intend to stay here for ever. But I’m not ready to change things yet.’

As Reece drove the cart back down the slope and turned into their own drive, he shook his head sadly.

‘You’re worried about Kathleen, aren’t you?’ Cassandra asked, cuddling little Sofia.

‘Yes. She’s getting quite strange at times. You must have noticed.’

‘I have.’

‘Leo told me the other day that her head isn’t right inside and he doesn’t know how to mend it. I think that sums up the situation. But Livia really needs the money Conn pays her. I don’t like to think of a lady like her struggling on her own.’

‘There’s nothing else we can do to help? Perhaps invite Kathleen to tea?’

‘I’m not exposing you and Sofia to Kathleen. Don’t ever leave our daughter alone with her.’

‘Of course not.’ She looked down with a fond smile at the sleeping infant. ‘Wasn’t she good at the service today?’

‘Very good. She’s a happy child.’

Reece continued to worry about the situation but didn’t talk about it any more, even to his wife, because he didn’t want Cassandra worrying about her sister. He felt he had to keep an eye on Kathleen, though, and he wished Maia and Conn hadn’t decided to act on their love yet. But it was too late to worry about that now.

The following evening he sat reading the newspaper someone had passed on to him at church. It was a few weeks old and contained an article about the new Lunatic Asylum in Fremantle. He read it carefully and studied the engraving of the building, which seemed to be a fine example of the gothic style.

‘Have you seen this?’ He showed it to Cassandra. ‘I couldn’t help thinking when I saw it that if Kathleen’s behaviour continues to deteriorate, that’s where she’ll wind up.’

She stared at him in shock. ‘Surely not?’

‘Where else could she be kept? She’s a strong woman physically. It took four of us to subdue her today and she left her mark on each of us.’ He touched the scratch on his cheek. ‘I’d not like to face her on my own – and I don’t like to think of Livia alone with her.’

‘She has Leo and Orla.’

‘Yes, thank goodness. But he’s only one man and Orla’s not a big woman. I doubt even the three of them together could hold Kathleen down if she went as mad as she did today.’

‘Conn’s father has a lot to answer for, making him marry a woman like her.’

‘I agree. But some people will do anything for money, even sacrifice their children’s lives.’ He gave her a kiss on the cheek. ‘Now, let’s talk of more cheerful things. Tomorrow I’m going to start work on digging out that cheese cellar. We have to have somewhere to keep the cheese cool in the summer heat. When the cellar is ready I’m going to offer to buy milk from people around here, so that I don’t have to keep too many cows myself. Lots of people have too much milk, but need to keep a cow for their own family’s needs. That money of yours is going to be put to very good use, I promise you.’

‘I think you’re only intending to make cheese because you love eating it so much,’ she teased.

He smiled. ‘I do love it. But I also see a way of making money. Not the only way, but one of them. I’m thinking of selling timber too, but for that we’d need a sawpit and someone to help me saw the trees into planks.’

‘You can’t do everything at once, Reece.’

‘I know. But I enjoy planning things. And do you realise we’ve still not explored all of our property? It’s amazing to think how many acres Kevin owned. I didn’t realise till we saw the deeds. I want to get to know every slope, every tree, every rock.’

‘Even you haven’t got that good a memory. It’s not like English land, though, is it? Some of the soil is very poor, even I can see that.’

‘In which case we should look at what grows naturally and see if there’s anything we can profit from.’

‘Stop dreaming and come to bed, Reece Gregory. I’m tired, even if you’re not.’

He folded up the newspaper carefully, because it would be passed to another family once he’d finished with it. Livia had her own newspaper now and didn’t offer to share her copies with anyone. She clearly had some purpose in keeping them.

But as he lay in bed, he thought again about the new Lunatic Asylum and Kathleen. Surely it wouldn’t come to that? Poor Conn had had far too much to bear in recent years.

19

I
n late January Xanthe got up and looked out at the snow falling. She’d not be able to go out for a proper walk until it melted, let alone travel.

Christmas had passed without a word from Ronan, though she’d written to wish him a happy festive season. He hadn’t written back to her, though.

Well, she’d made a decision last night. She’d given him enough time to sort out his life. She wasn’t going to wait any longer. She was going to do something about it.

Pandora looked at her the next morning and said, ‘You’re growing thinner and you look unhappy.’

‘Does it show? I try to put on a cheerful face when I’m with people.’

‘To me, it shows clearly – and Zachary commented on it the other day. Why, even his sister Hallie asked me if you’re unwell.’

‘She’s a lovely girl.’

‘Yes. She’s nearly as bad as you, wants to see a bit of the world before she settles down and her mother complains that she’s too fussy about the young men who come courting her.’

Her sister’s words gave Xanthe an idea. She didn’t act on it straight away. She’d learned the hard way not to do that, especially when her ideas didn’t suit what people thought right for a young woman. But she thought things over carefully for the next few days.

When she’d made up her mind, she said thoughtfully, ‘I think I need a change of scene. I could go into Manchester one day, perhaps. Do you think Hallie would come with me? I’d ask you, but I know you’d not leave Hebe for a whole day.’

Pandora pulled a face. ‘No, I couldn’t do that.’ She looked down at her little daughter and smiled fondly.

‘She’s a very good baby, isn’t she? I love it when she smiles.’

‘Yes, thank goodness. How our mother managed with four of us, I don’t know, especially when two of her children were twins.’

‘We live in luxury, compared to her.’

Pandora nodded, then a shadow passed across her face. ‘It hasn’t always been easy for us, though, has it? At least Cassandra and I are happily married. I do worry about you and Maia.’

Xanthe changed the subject. She didn’t want any more lectures about accepting invitations, going out walking with young men, or the futility of loving a landed gentleman. She knew all the arguments, but she knew Ronan, too, or at least she thought she did.

And she’d given him enough time! She was going to see Hallie and ask if she would help.

But there was another reason for going. She had a strong feeling that he was unhappy and needed her. She had feelings sometimes about her twin, knew whether Maia was happy or unhappy. But she’d never had this special feeling for anyone else.

Which just went to show that he was the right man for her.

Maia was sick for the second morning running and when she looked up, Conn had come back into the bedroom and was staring at her.

‘You’re expecting a child!’

She nodded. ‘Yes.’

He came to enfold her in his arms. ‘That’s wonderful. There’s no other woman I’d want to mother my children. But I wish—’

‘That it hadn’t happened yet. I do too. Still . . .’ she beamed at him. ‘I’ve always wanted children, always.’

‘I’m going to make a money settlement on you straight away, so that whatever happens, you’ll have enough money to support yourself and the child.’

‘I have some money of my own.’

‘Then you’ll have more. And I don’t want you doing any more heavy work from now on.’

She pulled a mocking face at him. ‘No, sir.’

His expression grew sad. ‘I’m sorry my first child will be born out of wedlock. Nothing we do will hurry the Church in the question of annulment, but I did reply to my brother’s letter and write to the Bishop in Perth as well, to make sure the matter is under consideration. There hasn’t been time for Kieran to get back to me but I did get a letter from Perth, saying it was under way – whatever that means.’

He held her at arm’s length again to say softly, ‘A child. Our child. How we shall love it!’

Although it was a bitterly cold day, Xanthe and Zachary’s sister went for a walk, because it was the only way they could be sure of privacy. Hallie lived with her widowed mother in the house where she and Zachary had grown up. She no longer needed to worry about finding a job, because he made sure they had everything they needed, but neither he nor their mother seemed to understand that she wanted more than to spend her days doing housework, shopping, sewing and reading.

After Xanthe had explained the situation to her friend, she let it sink in while they walked round.

‘What do you intend to do about it?’ Hallie asked.

‘I want to go to Ireland and confront Ronan, only . . . I’ve already found out that a young woman travelling on her own can be considered fair game by a certain type of man. So I wondered if you’d like to come with me? I’d pay for everything, of course.’

‘Oh, I’d love to! I’ve never been anywhere.’ Then Hallie’s smile faded and she stopped walking. ‘But I don’t think Zachary will allow it.’

‘Leave Zachary to me. What about your mother?’

‘I think she might let me go. She knows I long to see more of the world. And she could invite her cousin Martha to stay with her. Martha rents one room and is always short of money, so to have her food found for a week or two will help her.’ Her face became very determined. ‘In any case, I shall make it clear to them both that I’m going with or without their blessing.’

‘How do you think I should broach the matter to your brother?’

After a moment or two’s thought, Hallie said slowly, ‘I think it’d help if you asked Zachary to help you plan the trip without telling him you’ve asked me to come. Let him persuade you to take someone with you.’