Deviation (A Defined Series Book 1) (16 page)

Chapter Nineteen

Edith

I did it. I was finally able to have sex the way Jack wanted to, the way
I
wanted to, without thinking about Daniel’s disgusting hands all over me. It only took a few glasses of wine and Jack’s migraine medication to loosen me up to the point where I couldn’t rationally think about anything but him, the man I love.

My body the morning after feels sluggish, almost dehydrated. It must be the effects of mixing the pills and alcohol. I keep telling myself it will only be temporary. I don’t want to deal with life like this, but what choice do I have? Nothing feels right, nothing feels good, and the immense pressure to succeed is overwhelming my judgment. I slip back into unconsciousness, wondering if this is how things started for my mother. Did she feel so worthless that a drink cured what ailed her, not caring about the downward spiral that followed?

There are so many things awaiting me once we leave Miami and head home. Things that terrify me, things I don’t want to tell Jack. I should have told Sam about Daniel’s lawyer threatening me, but I just couldn’t. I wasn’t strong, but I wanted to protect Jack. I wanted to do this all on my own, but I couldn’t help feeling I was making an even bigger mistake. 

Jack

I lay in bed next to Edith. Her breathing is shallow, almost restful. Although we got back early enough, it’s after nine in the morning. I was hoping to wake her up slowly, kissing her senseless, and giving her the necklace before meeting Aiden and Shelby in the living room.

“Baby, wake up. It’s Christmas…” I nudge her awake, but she’s sluggish, glassy-eyed. Something burns in my gut thinking that maybe she was drunker than she looked last night. I would be devastated if I took advantage of her in some way. “Edith, don’t scare me like this. Aiden! Help!”

Seconds later, he comes running into the bedroom, Shelby hot on his heels in a barely there t-shirt and no panties.

“What is it?” Aiden brushes me aside, his glasses askew, shirtless and in boxer briefs. In another time and place, I might be miffed he came in half-dressed, but I don’t give a shit right now. He checks her pulse and lifts her eyelids. “Pulse is thready, eyes dilated.”

“Should I call an ambulance?” Shelby grabs Edith’s phone off the nightstand. Edith moans, trying to push Aiden’s hands away.

“No. I think we need to get some fluids in her to flush this out.”

“Flush what out?” I ask.

“Shelby, check the bathroom. Look in her bag for anything. A medication, pills, something.” She jumps up, coming back with her purse, riffling through it. I’m nervously rubbing Edith’s arm and leg, trying to get a response.

“Maybe she took these.” Shelby hands the prescription bottle to Aiden, who then hands it to me. It’s my migraine medication. I know for a fact that alcohol mixed with it is a dangerous combination.  

“Will she be all right?” I feel anger and hurt rolling into a ball of negative energy. I need to get out of here.

“I can watch her if you need a moment,” Shelby says, tentatively placing her hand on my arm.

I nod, grabbing sweats and sneakers. Throwing them on, I get the fuck out of the beach house. I need to process what the fuck is going on. Did the attack make her into some kind of addict? Did having sex with her push her over the edge? I don’t know who to blame, except for myself and this whole damn situation. I want nothing more than to leave Miami and go back home to New Jersey, to the safety of what we know…even if it means sharing the same air as the fucking piece of garbage who created all these problems.

Chapter Twenty

Edith

I ruined Christmas. Jack hasn’t said anything, but when I realized Shelby was pumping me full of water, and Aiden was taking my pulse, temperature, and checking my eyes, I knew I fucked up. My two best friends seemed to be fighting, although they were wonderful about putting whatever was bothering them aside to tend to me…again.

It was a bitter pill to swallow, no pun intended, and no amount of apologies was going to make this better. Self-medication is
seriously
frowned on. Maybe I would have felt better if Jack railed at me, expressed his disappointment, but his quiet way of pulling back hurts more than anything I’ve ever felt. The guilt and shame compound each other.

New Year’s Eve was a joke. A somber affair at the beach house where Jack stuffed us all with good food, music on the beach, and a two drink limit that killed any buzz I might have been seeking. He promptly tucked me into bed at 12:45am with a kiss on my head, as if I were a sullen child.

On the flight back, Jack sits in the row ahead of me with Aiden, and Shelby sits next to me. As she picks lint off her ripped jeans, she says, “There’s something I need to tell you, Edie.” 

“It can’t be worse than what I did this week, ruining our vacation.” Stuck in self-pity mode, I sip from my plastic cup of complimentary ginger ale, wishing Jack would have acknowledged me this morning in some way besides his disappointed glances.

“Oh, you’d be surprised. Edith Willows does not have the market on fucking up.” When the steward comes by with drinks, we both hasten to refuse. Alcohol is pretty much distasteful to me on all levels now. My body is still revolting from overdoing it.

“Lay it on me, girlfriend. I got your back.” Chuckling, we sit for a moment and I wait for her to continue.

“I’m taking an art internship next semester.” For something I know she’s been really looking forward to, Shelby Moore seems like the least excited person I know.

“You make it sound like a death sentence, Shell-bell,” I rib her and she nods.

“Well, it’s in Italy. I leave almost as soon as we get back. I don’t have much time to get myself packed up to go.” Stunned, I look at her. Blonde hair, bright eyes, beautiful smile, trembling lips. Shelby is hiding something and she looks about as fragile as I feel.

“That’s kind of sudden. When did they let you know you were accepted?” I’m not sure I want to know, but my best friend, the yin to my yang, is leaving on an international adventure before I have an adventure of my own. While I’ve decided not to testify on the stand, I’m horribly conflicted with if I’m making the right choice.

“Right before Thanksgiving.” That means she knew before she met Aiden’s family for the holiday.

“And you told Aiden then?” Confused, I’m not sure how this all played out. I review the timeline in my head. When was the last time they were a carefree couple. Heck. Would I have even noticed as wrapped up as I was in my own shit?

“No. I told him Christmas morning.”

“Holy fuck-balls! Shelby, are you serious?” I look to the seats in front of us, but both guys are leaning back with ear buds in their ears, likely watching the inflight movie.

“I know. I just… I had to tell him, but there never seemed to be a good time. He’s pissed, but it’s only for the semester. After that, we’ll figure things out…or not.”

“What do you mean ‘or not’? The world does not compute without my two partners in crime being together. Please, let this be some sort of joke.”

“I’m sorry. I just wanted you to know before… I know we’ve had a lot going on this year, and you
are
my best friend. I just, you know…” We both sigh deeply, lost in our respective thoughts, the chaos brewing collectively outside us. Yeah, we both certainly have had a lot of shit going on, but I wish I had been a better friend so she would have felt comfortable telling me this in November, not when she’s about to get on another plane and fly across the damn ocean.  

“You know what we need?” I look over at Shelby.

“What’s that?” she says sadly. I cannot, in good conscience, send my friend off mopey.

“We need a girls’ night out.” I am not convinced it’s a good idea, but since I’m batting zero, I decide to go for it. The whole “you only live once” motto and all that.

“How about I be the designated driver? I’ve still got tons of packing to do in the next forty-eight hours.”

“All right. Whatever floats your boat.”

“Can we invite the boys?” When she pleads with me like that, it’s hard to say no.

“Shelby, how can you sabotage girls’ night out already?” Typically,
she’s
the carefree one and I’m the one refusing to go out.

“Well, I’ll be gone for the next several months, so we should probably bring them along.” Shelby has a good point, although it might be difficult to be free and consume as much alcohol as I might like with Jack hawking every glass I pick up.

Our landing in Newark is uneventful. After we pick up our luggage, I convince Aiden to join us for drinks at a local comedy club downtown. Jack hesitates, but we manage to sway him. It will be good to hear a few laughs and let loose, forgetting about Miami.

Jack

The girls decide we should go out after we freshen up and nap. I’d much rather stay at home and shut out the rest of the world, but here I am, standing in the foyer of the house, dressed to go out and waiting for Edith to come down. I offer to hire us a car so we don’t have to worry about designated drivers.

The club is packed and we sit down for the 9pm show. A gruff guy, who pretends to be Italian, tells inappropriate and stereotypical jokes about his New Jersey mob family, getting us all laughing. The waitress refills our drinks several times, so our little foursome is feeling particularly tipsy. Edith and Shelby have let their hair down and are leaning into each other, giggling the entire time. Suffice it to say, I’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight to avoid any issues. I feel guilty enough for what happened in Miami. I don’t think I could take much more.

Once the night ends, we head back to the house. Aiden and Shelby come inside, deciding to stay over, and we send the driver on his way. I decide I’ll sleep in the bedroom after all, leaving the lovebirds to fight over the couch. Both have been snippy lately and I don’t have it in me to figure out their problems, too.

“Jack, babe, come up to bed.” Edith is swaying up the stairs and I’m tempted to send Shelby up with her. She looks like a dark angel with her loose hair and curls framing her face, bouncing down her back.

Harshly, I tell my smiling girl, “Get in bed, Edith. It’s been a long day.” It makes her frown, but I’m tired, a little drunk, and annoyed as hell. Looking at my watch, I see it’s well after one in the morning. I don’t think I’ve had a restful night’s sleep in a while. “Let me get some pillows and blankets for Aiden and Shelby, then I’ll be up.”

Pouting and pursing her lips, she stomps up the stairs. “Fine.” I cover my face with my hands and clench my fists, asking God for patience.

“You guys all settled here?” I say, pulling out the couch and rearranging the pillows.

“I promise no sex on the expensive couch Edith hates,” Shelby mumbles, falling into the cushions.

“I didn’t know she felt that way. Good thing Pottery Barn has a good return policy,” I mumble. I’m pissed. More shit she doesn’t communicate about. I’m a bundle of aggravated nerves right now.

“Good going, big mouth.” Aiden thwacks her butt with a pillow and she retaliates.

Taking a deep breath, I head back upstairs to my own personal hell. As I enter the darkened bedroom, I see that Edith is in bed and under the covers. She pats the spot next to her and I sit down.

“Come here, my favorite professor.” Edith pulls me down so my head rests in her lap. The sheet slips down, exposing her perfect breasts. She plays with my hair and runs her hands down my chest, unbuttoning my shirt. I stop her, trying to prevent the inevitable conversation.

A deep breath steadies me. “Baby, not tonight.” I shut my eyes and feel her retreat further away, but I don’t know what else to do. She slips from the bed and goes into the bathroom, slamming the door and shutting me out.