Devin's Mercy [Shifters of Mystery 4] (14 page)

“You defended yourself. I’m proud of you for staying alive.”

Devin closed his eyes, wishing he could close his ears. The deep

ruggedness of Mercy’s voice was just too much for him. Devin had

always craved the man, had chased behind him, imagining being

exactly where he found himself now.

But so much had changed. He wasn’t the young guy who hung on

every word out of the ex-enforcer’s mouth. And he was hardly the

young man who had such foolish dreams of sharing a life with this

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wild creature. It only proved how young he truly was back then

because Devin had thought he could tame the beast in Mercy.

Now…now Devin was too afraid to live beyond the small box he

kept himself in. Thoughts of breaking free terrified him. He once

thought he was safe, but that fragile belief was shattered the day

Martin got a hold of him.

“But I killed a man.”

“So have I. Do you look at me as a monster?”

Devin shook his head, his hair falling over Mercy’s still-upturned

hand. “No.”

“Then you shouldn’t look at yourself as one either. If you hadn’t

killed Keegan, you would be dead, Devin. I would much rather see

you alive than him.”

“Really?” Devin asked before he thought better of it.

Mercy’s chuckle was low, seductive, and making Devin’s body

impossibly harder. “Oh, yeah.”

The chuckle died as Mercy brushed his hair aside once more. The

touch was light, tender, and made Devin feel at ease. “You can trust

me with your deepest and darkest secrets, Devin. It’s hard to fight

one’s demons alone.”

“Who do you go to for help with your demons?” Devin lay

perfectly still, allowing Mercy to play in his hair. It felt good. It was

comforting. Devin was experiencing a closeness he never before felt

with anyone else.

Mercy was quiet for so long that Devin thought the man wasn’t

going to answer him. “I’ll trust you with them.”

This surprised him.

“Tell me one of your secrets, and I’ll tell you one of mine.”

Although Devin didn’t move, he could feel the well-muscled body

under his hand. His fingers begged him to explore, but Devin kept

them where they were. Mercy’s skin was hot, inviting, and so damn

tempting that his hand actually ached to run up and down the rigid

planes of Mercy’s abdomen.

Devin’s Mercy

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“I’ve killed men.”

Devin grinned. “You told me that one already.”

Mercy’s grey eyes twinkled as he smiled. “You got me there.” He

laid his head back, staring up at the ceiling. “I once stole a pie from

my nana’s window as it cooled. She never knew it was me. After I ate

the entire thing, I threw up from being a glutton.”

Devin laughed. The sound was small, barely audible, but he

couldn’t help it. The image of a young Mercy stuffing himself until he

was sick was funny.

“Your turn.”

Devin thought about what he wanted to share. Although Martin

had fucked his life up, Devin had had a happy childhood. “I skipped

school once and spent the day at the lake. I thought I had it made and

was making plans to go back the next day, until my mother found out

and nearly whipped the skin from my backside.”

“How did she find out?” Mercy asked, still grazing his fingers

over Devin’s hair, leisurely, as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

“You’re not going to believe this.”

Mercy gave a low chuckle. “Try me.”

“She worked in the attendance office.”

Mercy gaped at him and then started laughing. It was contagious.

Devin began laughing as well. He remembered that day as if it were

yesterday. He had come home with a smile on his face and a nice tan.

Then his mother came through the door, with that look on her face

that all mothers had when pissed, and Devin knew he was busted.

“Now that was dumb,” Mercy said between chuckles.

“No shit. But you know when you are that age you think you

know it all and no one can get the upper hand.”

Mercy nodded. “Yeah, I was the same way. My nana loved those

little red and white peppermints. She kept a bowl filled with them. I

had some friends over, and we ate the entire bowl. I panicked and told

her we were robbed.”

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Devin was smiling from ear to ear. “Let me guess. She didn’t

believe you?”

“Worse.” He snorted. “She took me to the dentist and made the

man clean my teeth…twice.”

Devin grimaced. A tooth cleaning was painful. He didn’t care

what anyone said. “Gods, how did adults know exactly how to punish

kids back then?”

Mercy shrugged. “Because they actually took their time to get to

know them. These days, both parents are working and the child

basically raises himself.”

So true.

“It was more of a community effort back then. When I messed up

at my friend’s house, his mom kicked my ass, and then my nana did

the same just for embarrassing her,” Mercy added.

Devin knew some people thought it was a harsh time back then,

but in his opinion, the kids turned out a lot better than the ones being

raised nowadays.

“So, what changed your life?” Mercy snuck the question in, going

in for the kill when Devin’s defenses were down. He answered before

he realized what he was saying.

“Martin decided he needed an outlet and beat me for stress relief.”

Devin froze, his heart rate picking up and his body breaking out in a

cold sweat.

“Relax, Devin. We’re just talking.”

Yeah, but Mercy hadn’t just revealed something horrific, though.

He looked away, too ashamed to look the guy in his eyes any longer.

“Do you know why my nana raised me?” Mercy asked.

Devin shook his head, still unable to turn back around and face the

man.

“Because my dad thought the same thing. The hospital must have

caught on, or couldn’t ignore the facts any longer when I came in for

the fifth time with a black eye and something on me broken. Social

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services became involved, and my nana was granted full custody of

me.”

Devin’s gaze shot up to Mercy. “Really?”

Mercy placed his hand on Devin’s shoulder, moving him aside as

he turned, showing Devin his back. “You see that long scar down my

back?”

Devin reached out, tracing his fingers along the fine white line.

“He did this?”

“With a belt.”

“Martin did this.” Devin lifted his arm, showing Mercy the thick

scar right by his armpit where Martin had bitten into him in his lycan

form, trying to rip skin from bone.

“I have a scar from the bastard, too.”

“I know,” Devin said as Mercy lay back down, pulling Devin

close. He traced the freshly healed scar Mercy had. It ran from the left

side of his navel all the way up to the right side of his nipple. “I

remember him giving this to you.”

“We can’t always win against the bad guys, Devin. Sometimes

they fuck us up before we can fight back.”

Devin kept tracing the scar he had seen Martin slice into Mercy,

nodding. “I wanted to kill him. I wanted to rip his throat out. He used

to keep me locked in a cage, like the one in the basement, every full

moon. I’m not sure if he was afraid I would shift and try to kill him or

he did it for sick kicks.”

“Knowing Martin, he did it for kicks.”

“But I never did anything to gain his attention,” Devin said

angrily. “Why me?

“Because, Devin, you were our friend. And if I had known you

would pay for us leaving, I would have taken you with us.”

Devin refused to cry. He wasn’t going to allow Martin to have one

more tear. He was tired of being afraid, so damn tired of hiding in the

secret place in his mind. All Devin wanted was his friends back, his

old life back. He laid his head on Mercy’s chest, needing the anchor,

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needing the comfort. Mercy ran his callused hand down Devin’s back,

the touch soothing.

“And Charles?”

This time Devin slammed his eyes closed. “I don’t want to talk

about him.”

“No problem.” Mercy kept right on petting him, the strokes long,

helping Devin to push those demons away.

“Do you want to go down to breakfast?” Mercy asked.

No. Devin wanted to stay right where he was forever. It was safe

here. Mercy was safe. Mercy was comforting.

And Mercy was so handsome that even though Devin wanted to

run and hide from the world, he wanted Mercy to run with him.

“Yes.”

A pat on the back. “Then let’s get dressed.”

Devin rose, turning to his side, and then was snagged back, Mercy

staring into the depths of his eyes. “I’ll never look at you any

differently, Devin. You are still as handsome as ever, and a damn

good person. Don’t let what others have done to you tarnish that.”

“I don’t know how to let go.”

An evil twist formed on Mercy’s lips. “I know how.”

Before Devin could ask, Mercy was laying a gentle kiss on his

lips. Devin froze, unsure of what to do. He was terrified of what may

happen next and praying at the same time that Mercy took the

nightmare away, not letting Charles be the last man who had him in

that way.

“Let’s go eat.” Mercy slowly released him, but Devin pushed

forward, not ready to break the spell woven around them. He wasn’t

looking for sex per se, just the intimacy they had been sharing

between two friends.

“I’m scared, Mercy.”

“Tell me and I’ll slay your demons, Devin.” Mercy pulled Devin

closer, wrapping an arm around him.

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“Of life, of sex, of people looking at me and knowing what

Charles did.”

“Nobody knows and nobody has to know, Devin. Hold your head

up high. Don’t let anyone make you feel dirty and unworthy. Be

proud of who you are.”

Devin nodded into Mercy’s chest. It was so easy to believe he

could accomplish those things, but he wasn’t sure that he could.

“Then help me.” Devin took a chance, gambling that Mercy

wouldn’t push him away as he placed his lips on Mercy’s.

“Don’t use sex to cope, Devin.”

“I’m not. I just want to be with you, Mercy. I’ve always wanted to

be with you.”

“Then you’ll still want to be with me later. Right now I want you

to get your head together.”

Devin wanted to shout in frustration, but pulled away instead,

ready to get dressed and go downstairs. He had finally wanted

someone to touch him…no, he wanted Mercy to touch him, and the

man was rejecting him.

“Come here.” Mercy pulled him back onto the bed. “Don’t run

from me.”

“I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

He was. Being rejected sucked. Why would he stick around if

Mercy was politely turning him down?

“Look at me, Devin.”

Devin turned.

“I don’t want our first time to be tainted. I want it to be special.

I’ve been attracted to you for as long as I can remember and having

sex with you just to chase your ghosts away isn’t a good enough

reason for me.”

Devin sat there stunned. Mercy had wanted him. Since when? The

guy had never given Devin the time of day. It was true that he had

overheard Sage in the kitchen that first morning telling Mercy that he

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knew Mercy cared for Devin, but Devin hadn’t believed it at the time.

Hearing Mercy confirm it blew his mind. “You’re attracted to me?”

Mercy grinned, melting Devin’s heart on the spot. “Don’t sound

so surprised, Devin. You are one good-looking-ass man. Of course

I’m attracted to you.”

“Then why did you always avoid me?”

“Because I thought you too young for me.”

“You’re only seven years older than me, Mercy.”

“I kind of thought you were younger.”

Devin rolled his eyes. “Glad to know you were thinking of my

virtue.”

Mercy growled, pulling Devin closer. “Now that I know you are

old enough in my book, your virtue better watch out.”

Devin’s heart thundered in his chest. Mercy was serious. The

man’s eyes had darkened to a stormy grey, telling Devin he meant

what he was saying. He swallowed around a dry throat, nodding.

“Okay.”

“Now, let’s go eat.” Mercy placed a quick kiss on Devin’s lips

before pushing from the bed. Good lord almighty, the man was

standing there in nothing but a pair of boxers, and he was hard as

steel.

But so was Devin. His cock was ramrod stiff. “I don’t think I