Devoted - The Complete Series: A BWWM Romance Boxset (16 page)

“Certainly,” I snap my belt closed right away under the flight attendant’s watchful gaze.

“Thank you, sir.” She smiles the dead-eyed smile of a customer service employee and walks away.

“What’s going on, Brianna?” I divert my attention back to her, but she’s recomposed herself.

“Nothing.”

I feel like I swallowed a plate of ice. I hate when she shuts down her emotions so quick. It’s too familiar, too much like Eileen and her ups and downs. I just can’t deal with anymore pushing and pulling, “Fine.” I close my eyes and lean back in my seat, too exhausted to think or feel anymore. I peek out of the corner of my eye and Brianna is sullen, and staring at her lap. Maybe she just needs some time to work through all of this. Or maybe she’s just counting down her time on this plane until she can walk away. Either way, time will tell.

Chapter Three

Brianna

“What you think about August for a girl, or Augustus for a boy?” Kendra briefly looks up from the clothes rack full of cute dresses she’s been eyeing up. With me being two months along and her two and a half, neither of us are big enough to even consider the upscale Maternity clothes in this boutique. Looking at one of the price tags on a pair of Bermuda shorts with a giant elastic sewn to the top as a waistband, I drop the tag as soon as they see the number as if it seared my hand with its ridiculous price. There’s no way I’m going to be able to afford anything in the store, not on a waitress’s salary.

I crinkle my nose and think about the names, “I like August for a girl that sounds pretty cute. I can picture the sort of girl that she would be, you know, a free spirit or maybe an artist. I picture a really fun girl with a bubbly personality. But Augustus? Are you serious?”

“What’s wrong with Augustus?” She looks at me without a hint of irony or sarcasm on her face.
Oh God, she’s serious
.

“Kendra, come on. Are you gonna break off a broom and glue it to a helmet when you send him to school? Cause that sounds like the name of a gladiator or some shit,” I giggle at her surprised face. “And with a name like Augustus you better hope he’s a gladiator, since you’d be sending him to a lion’s den every day that he goes to school. Seriously, Augustus? Was that Matthew’s idea?”

“I thought it sounded like a strong name. Gladiator? That’s what you think of?” She gives a slight shrug of her shoulders, “What names have you come up with that are so much better? Have you and Bradley decided on anything yet?” She tilts her head and places her hand on her hip as I look at the floor, avoiding her gaze.

“Ahhh, no not really. We haven’t really had that conversation yet.” I mumble to my feet.

“Is everything okay with you two? You never did tell me how he took it,” she staring at me hard now.

“I still… I, uh, just can’t seem to find the right time to tell him.”

“Brianna! Are
you
serious right now?” Her shrill tone makes the other customers in the store turn and stare at us in alarm. The last thing I need is a bunch of rich white girls staring at me and listening in on my business. I already feel like a sore thumb here, I don’t need the extra attention.

“Shhh! Don’t get all excited, I’m going to tell him. There’s a lot going on with us you know.” I lower my voice to a hush and the women around us go back to ignoring our existence. “It’s just hard to get the timing right, I mean Bradley’s life is so hectic right now. He’s got Brooklyn to think about and a lot on his plate with Eileen. I’m just not sure how much room he has in his life for me right now, and I don’t want that to change just because I’m pregnant. You know?”

“No, I don’t know,” Kendra hisses at me. “From everything I’ve seen, Bradley’s completely in love with you. Why would you think any different?” Her eyes flicker over my face for a second but she doesn’t wait for my answer. “You have to tell him, Brianna,” she urges. “You know for a fact it isn’t right that you’re keeping this from him.” She scolds me with her hand on her hip.

I know she’s right, and the truth is I’m not sure what’s keeping me from telling him. It’s just that every time I play the scene over my mind I feel like I’m about to have a panic attack. One day just rolls into another and before you know it a month somehow passed us by and I still haven’t said a word.

“Have you at least told your parents yet?” Kendra presses on, knowing full well that I haven’t.

“No. Why should I?” My words are jagged splinters of ice. “I don’t owe them a damn thing.”

Kendra’s eyes soften and her hand drops from her hip, grasping mine gently. “Okay, forget I said anything about your parents. I understand you guys have history and you’ll work it out eventually. But you gotta give Bradley a chance. You can’t hold his feet to someone else’s fire. He isn’t Joseph, he isn’t gonna run or turn you away. Besides, you know that it’s not right that Mr. Taylor knows you’re pregnant but your man doesn’t.” She tilts her head at me.

It isn’t just my boss, Mr. Taylor, who knows. Working the day shift at the diner and all of its unique smells hasn’t been the best thing for my morning sickness. Pretty much everyone in that greasy spoon knows I’m knocked up now. “Like I said, I will tell him. It’s not like I’m gonna try to hide it or anything, I’m just waiting for the right time. Brooklyn is just finally settling into the apartment and we’re waiting to see whether or not Eileen can stand trial. Everything is just up in the air right now. I’m not sure I’m ready for any of this.” I look at the giant diamond twinkling on her ring finger and roll my eyes, “Besides, it’s easy for you to say that everything will work out when you got that giant sparkler weighing down your finger. Not all of us have our lives tied up in such a neat little bow.”

“That’s an excuse and you know it. Look, you know I’m here for you no matter what, alright?” She gives my hand a little squeeze and looks me straight in the eyes. I feel some of my tension melt away, I know she has the best intentions for me.
She’s just trying to help
. “I just don’t want to see you let the darkness from the past overshadow what could be a happy future. You deserve more than that, you both do,” she drops my hand and gently touches her fingers against my stomach. “In the end family is all we got, Brianna. You do what you gotta do to make that work. I’m not telling you this because it’s just what’s best for the baby, it’s best for you too. Seriously.”

“I know, you’re right. I’m going to tell him soon, I promise. Okay?” I look her straight on. “Now, come on, let’s get out of here. You and I both know that we got no business looking at these clothes yet,” I sweep my hand across the store and nod down at our flat bellies. “How about we get a bite to eat or something? I’m actually hungry for once. Who knows maybe you can find some more inspiration for your baby names. Like maybe you could name your kid pizza or big Mac. Hey, that one actually works.” I laugh. Kendra cracks a smile and the tension between us begins to melt away.

“Okay, okay. I’m getting hungry anyway.”

Relieved to change the subject, I practically drag her out of the store in search of a restaurant. I know Kendra’s right about telling Bradley. In my heart and my head, I know it’s the right thing, no, the
only
thing to do. Yet, every time we have a moment together, I can’t seem to force the words from my mouth. I silently promise myself that tonight I’ll find a way to spill it. Maybe I’ll call him when I get off work. Or maybe I can tell him tomorrow. That might be better. Tomorrow I’ll definitely tell him…
tomorrow
.

I’m so exhausted. I swear that the pile of used dish rags and aprons in the corner is tempting me to roll up into a little ball and fall asleep on it. I can’t believe I’m only halfway through my shift and I already feel like a zombie, actually I’m pretty sure zombies have way more motivation than me. I mean, they’re dead and they still motivated to go find some brains or something. Isn’t that how they work? I never did get into that kind of stuff. I’m only twenty-eight, but I feel so old. Between worrying about Bradley and this pregnancy, I barely sleep. On top of that, being on my feet all day at the diner is really taking it out of me.

I press my face against the cool tile on the wall by the time punch clock. I feel like I just need a nap. Only fifteen minutes or so to go. “Hey Brianna, everything alright over here?” Mr. Taylor walks up to me a look of concern tattooed on his face.

“Yeah, sorry Mr. Taylor. I just needed to take five.” I turn my head to face him, keeping my cheek firmly pressed against the slightly greasy subway tile.

“I got just the thing to wake you up,” he smiles broadly and the spaces between his teeth remind me of a jack-o’-lantern. “I need you to go cover table 6, okay?”

So his answer for being exhausted is to work more? Genius. Why didn’t I think of that?
“Thanks Mr. Taylor, that’s a real pick me up.” I pry myself off the wall and make my way out of the kitchen to the dining area. My mouth hangs open as I see Bradley and Brooklyn sitting at the table. “What are you doing here?”

The smile on Bradley’s face wilts a little, “Nice to see you too.” He tries to brush off my rudeness, but I can see he’s disappointed by my reaction.

“Imma gonna eat some French fries with ketchup!” Brooklyn announces excitedly. “Do you have ketchup, Brianna?” Her brown eyes suddenly cloud over as concern sweeps over her face.

“Yes Hun, it’s that red bottle on the table, you can have as much as you want.”

“Don’t tell her that,” Bradley laughs. “She’ll just drink the whole bottle, this kid would eat nothing but ketchup if I let her.”

I don’t return his friendly smile, I’m not sure what he was thinking coming here. I’m pretty sure grimy and exhausted isn’t a good look for me, definitely not sexy. “So what can I get you?”

“Hey, come here, sit down with us. I thought it would be fun if we stopped in to see you, you’ve been such a stranger lately.” He reaches out and attempts to wrap his arm around my waist, but I pull back instinctively.

“I can’t just sit down, I’m on shift here.” A step back from the table.

“Oh, sorry. I just thought –”

“Did you think? I mean, seriously, what did you think would happen? You were gonna come here and we’d have some kind of picnic? I’m a waitress Bradley. If you come to the diner, where I work, I have to serve you. Is that what you wanted? Just tell me what you want to eat, please.”

“Whoa, hang on. It’s not like that at all. I didn’t come here so you could serve me or whatever. I came here because we missed you. We haven’t seen you a lot lately and I thought it would be nice to surprise you. I certainly didn’t think you’d act like this,” he flips his palm up at me and disappointment pinches his face. I look over at Brooklyn, who is watching us intently. There’s no emotion on her face at all, like she still hasn’t decided whether to react to our little argument.

To my side Fiona is watching the scene unfold, blatantly staring at us. “Oh,” she says mockingly, “someone’s got some baby-Daddy drama.” I could slap that stupid smirk off her face.

“Don’t you have a job to do? Get out of here and mind your own business,” I snap.