Dex (15 page)

Liza shook her head in disbelief. “Wow, even for you. Wow.”

Dex came back determined not to let them or anyone see his disappointment about Sarah. He had a show to do and he couldn’t let anything or anyone ruin his performance.

“How you doing?” Liza asked Dex, as if he had just gotten a divorce.

“I’m fine. Really,” Dex lied. “But, I have to go to make-up. Come with me.”

“Make-up?! Yo, sssshhhh…,” Jordy said, putting his hand by his mouth, “that ain’t right!”

#

The lights in the audience dimmed and a large teleprompter set up away from the camera’s view instructed silence. The kitchen lights turned from a soft gold to a bright white as members of the crew took their necessary places. The announcer’s voice boomed:

Five. Four. Three.
A stage hand motioned ‘two’…‘one.’

Courtney gave Dex a now familiar shove into the studio kitchen.

“Hey Guys!” he boomed. “It’s a ‘School Day’ in the studio. I’ll be teaching my class from William Alexander Middle School how to revamp retro faves to make the grade. Let’s get cookin.’”

The theme music began to play and Dex started to busily compose his menu. Even with all the crazy twists and turns of the morning, Dex felt relaxed. He had started at Eatz only a short time ago, but he had taken to his role quickly. Nothing had ever thrown him like the shaky rehearsal he’d had at home. At the studio he had no one to please or disappoint but strangers, and somehow that made his job easier.

As Dex continued to chop, mix, and simmer, he was relieved Casey had been right and that none of the new products were difficult to use. The good news was that in a little while this show would be over and he would no longer have to obsess about how things would go. Instead, he could go back to obsessing about Sarah. As he was working minced scallions into biscuit dough, part of him wanted to search the audience for her. The other part told him he was crazy.

‘Lose her!’ Dex heard a crew member shout backstage. He nearly knocked the mixing bowl off the counter. How could anyone read his mind like that? Then the guy shouted again, but this time Dex heard him more clearly.

“Looser, Fred!” The director motioned for Dex to keep going. It wasn’t easy since Dex could see that one of the wires connected to the DEX-O-METER was pulled dangerously taut.  A skinny guy in a brown sweater crawled around Dex’s legs like a stealthy cat, careful to remain unseen by the audience behind the long kitchen island. He tried tugging on several wires before he reached the ripping cable just as it was ready to snap.

When the repair was done, the guy gave Dex a thumbs-up and slithered away.

Dex continued shredding cheddar cheese like nothing had happened. “It’s important to be quick and light-handed so all the ingredients marry but the biscuits stay flaky. That’s why I sprinkle the cheese over the dough and work it in with just a couple of easy motions. The result is a delectable biscuit.”

Why did he have to say ‘marry?’ Now he was thinking about Sarah again, still in shock that she had gone for Bryce Watson. Another wrestler he couldn’t compete with. He took his frustration out on a fat Vidalia onion and with his giant knife took seconds to dice it into amazing bits.

A few chops and blends later, Dex was done and plating his dishes. Aside from the food he had just prepared, there were larger batches of each dish he and a group of assistants had made earlier.

“And that’s how easy it is,” Dex said, putting a final sprinkling of parsley on top of a plate of bite-sized sandwiches. “You guys hungry?”

The entire audience applauded and shouted “Yeah!”

The cameras still rolling, the crew began distributing mini-plates of food to the audience. There were random shouts about how delicious everything was. Dex managed to keep his mind off Sarah long enough to feel proud of himself. It had been a challenging day, but he stood up to it. Not to mention it was cool getting so many compliments from the kids he went to school with every day. For the first time since he’d started his show, Dex finally believed he was a chef.

And then the unthinkable happened.

All the smiles and cheers turned to moans and groans, as people began to retch and grip their stomachs. Dex stared at his classmates like he was watching a train wreck and could do nothing to help. And it didn’t stop there. An instant later, a kid screamed:

“I’M GONNA HURL!!!”

Within seconds, he and everyone else started puking up everything on Dex’s menu, from his Simply Caesar Salad to his Rocky Road Brownies. The audience soon looked like the cast of a cheesy horror movie, but there was more than just cheese flying from every direction. Girls screeched and boys grunted, all the while skidding around the mess of barf lining the ground. Teachers were frantically shouting to gain control between bouts of puking, but it was useless. The exits were jammed with vomit-covered people trying to escape.

Ezra ran frantically from the side of the stage to push the now unmanned commercial button to take the show off the air. “What the hell happened?” He blared at Dex.

“I don’t know.” Dex was whiter than pale. “Everything was fine and then I…” He looked out again at the chaos. “I quit!” He shrieked as he ran out of the studio too quickly for anyone to catch up with him.

Liza and Jordy couldn’t believe what was going on. They had been too busy helping Alicia with interviews to eat. Liza saw Dex running out through a stage exit door that led to the street, but he was too far away for her to get to him.

CHAPTER
tweNty

“I couldn’t believe it!” Kyle coughed. “They cut to a commercial right after Tracey puked on the main camera.”

Dex cringed as he and Kyle walked past the empty cafeteria. He wasn’t interested in going out with Tracey Waters, but she liked to talk. A lot. If she was angry at him for what happened he could bet no one was going to forgive him any time soon.

The thing is Dex still couldn’t figure out what happened.

Kyle pulled a tissue out of his pocket. “Do you know you made history?”

“I know I made something.” Dex frowned.
“How?” he asked, certain he didn’t want to know.
Biggest group barf in the world
was all he could think of.

“Yesterday, in just that one day after your show, there were the most recorded absences in the history of our school!” Kyle blew his nose. “My mom’s friends with the attendance lady.”

“That’s great, Kyle. I’m so proud. Bet next they’ll be throwing me a party. Or a parade.”

“Parades are cool. As long as you don’t have to play a tuba. Take my word for it. That’s not fun.”

“Kyle, I keep going over the whole day in my head. I can’t think of anything I did wrong.”

“I believe you. Maybe it was just some mutant strain of puke bugs in the mayonnaise. My mom always says it’s a dangerous food especially when it’s warm. Was it warm in the studio?”

“No, not unusually. And I know everything was being carefully watched and prepared,” Dex swore.

“Well,” Kyle speculated, “maybe someone with a stomach virus coughed all over everything.”

Dex braced himself as a short girl with a tiny nose and thin lips approached them. She put her hand over her mouth dramatically, and then pulled it off.

“HUUUUURPH!” she croaked out, her mouth in his face as she grabbed her stomach. She then stopped herself and began laughing loudly, darting away before Dex could respond. She was followed by a tall, nerdy guy who was holding his stomach and making loud retching noises as he walked past Dex.

Kyle looked at Dex sympathetically. “Sorry,” he whispered before going into his science class.

Dex felt completely alone. And what was worse, he was scared. He hadn’t meant to hurt anyone, but it happened. The only thing left was payback.

Tracey Waters didn’t look like she had spent yesterday barfing. Every hair fell just where it was supposed to and her make-up was the usual loud mess of perfection. She wasted no time trapping Dex in her scornful gaze and surprised him by shoving a bottle of Pepto-Bismol into his hand.

“Here. Sign this,” she sneered. “We are so over!” Tracey spun around and left without even trying to catch his eye.

A group of kids standing not far behind Dex heard her and laughed. They continued to talk as if he were invisible.

“What a loser,” Dex heard one long-haired girl say.

“I heard he trapped a bunch of pigeons,” a boy with the start of a mustache offered. “Then he cooked them and shoved them on toast.”

Dex could still hear them as they began to walk away.

“Yeah, I heard that too,” said a kid in a denim jacket. “I think the pigeons crapped first, and he left it there like a sauce.”

“That is beyond gross,” the long-haired girl remarked as she scrunched her face.

“He ain’t no cook,” insisted a kid in a Jimi Hendrix tee-shirt.

“That’s for sure.” The guy in the jacket put his arm around the girl.

They were finally out of Dex’s earshot when a kid who looked like a linebacker started toward him.

Dex shuddered and tried walking faster, but the kid blocked him.

“Hey, Skeletor,” the linebacker said right up in his face. “You got my little sister sick, you skinny twiglet. Guess who got to clean it up?” He pointed to himself. “I should snap you into twins.” He gave Dex a push and walked away.

Dex was shaking as he pulled out his phone and dialed. “Please come get me. Please...”

CHAPTER twenty-
one

“Dig in.” Geema put a big pan on the kitchen table then got a wedge of parmesan cheese
from the refrigerator. She didn’t smile once.

Dex knew it was his fault.

“Vince,” Marla said, holding up her hands to show him she was wearing her dinner gloves. “I have an audition tomorrow for Happy Golfers’ Hand ointment. Can you please do the honors?”

Vince nodded and cut out big squares of lasagna that he slid onto each plate. When everyone was served he cut up Marla’s food into bite-sized pieces.

“There is no way, Dex,” Vince continued the argument Dex had started. “Quitting the show was your decision but, you are not going to be home-schooled.”

“You don’t get it, Dad. They hate me. They all hate me.”

“Even if that were true, and I’m sure it isn’t, how would leaving change that?”

“It wouldn’t. But at least I’d live.”

“You’re being dramatic,” Vince said.

“I’m being honest. They’re all bigger than I am. Even the girls. You aren’t there to see what I’m going through!”

“Honey, I think what your dad is trying to say,” Marla flashed Vince a look, “is that you’re strong and you can handle this. Isn’t that right, Vince?” She looked at him again.

“Of course,” Vince speared a stray noodle on his plate. “You can’t quit everything.”

“I’m not saying I want to quit school. I just don’t want to be there,” Dex persisted. “If I’m not there they won’t be in my face every day.” He pushed the food around on his plate.

“You’re right,” Geema chimed in. “But, you have to look at yourself in the mirror, and the way you see yourself has a lot to do with what you face.”

Dex knew there was some important message he was supposed to get, but all he could think about was the linebacker hunting him down.

“I know I must have done something wrong, but I still can’t figure out what.”

“Obviously one of the ingredients you used was spoiled.” Vince had an unruly string of cheese dangling from the corner of his mouth. “Go over the menu again. What did you use?”

“Use this, please,” Marla jumped in and handed Vince a napkin as she made a wiping motion. Just then, the house phone rang. “That better not be another reporter!” Marla groaned, taking a deep breath before answering the call.

“I’ve gone over all the ingredients and I’m telling you Dad, they’re really careful about refrigeration. They even throw out anything they think could be turning bad.”

“Okay, who was handling the food, besides you?” Vince helped himself to another hunk of lasagna.

“I don’t know everyone’s name. They have a bunch of people who help.” Dex took a sip of water. “Kyle said maybe someone who had a stomach bug touched stuff.”

“He could be right.” Vince grated fresh parmesan cheese over his plate.

“Well, I doubt it. I mean Preston LeTray, his assistant, and this guy Arby all seemed fine.”

“Yeah, but you never know with stomach flu. Dex, I’m sure you didn’t do anything wrong, but whatever the reason, you still have to deal with it.”

“Jazz asked about you,” Alicia said, finally done texting a message that had kept her out of the conversation. “He didn’t watch the show, but he saw it on YouTube.” She put her phone in her pocket. “He said it got more hits than Surprised Kitty and Baby Panda Sneeze combined!”

“Thrilling. So now everything’s gone viral.”

Marla came back to the table, completely giddy. “I got the job!!!”

“What?!?” Vince shrieked.

“I’m the next hands for Skin-So-Smooth!” She was grinning from ear to ear. “I didn’t want to say anything. There were over three hundred other models called in.” She held up her hands triumphantly. “These beat out six hundred others somehow. Now I don’t have to go on that dumb Happy Golfers’audition!”

“That’s so great, Mom,” Alicia said, back to texting with Jazz.

“Yeah. It really is,” Dex agreed, still picking at his plate.

“I’m not making much, but your Dad and I get to go to Aruba, all expenses paid, for a whole week!”

Vince got up and kissed her.

“The shoot starts the day after Christmas.”

“That’s wonderful Marla,” Geema said, hugging her close.

“But you guys’ll miss New Year’s.” Alicia was suddenly upset.

“I know Leesh, and I am disappointed about that,” Marla admitted looking at Dex. “But, I have to do this. It’s my job.”

#

Dex sat on his bed with his laptop open to Facebook. His wall was covered with comments that hurt him to the core: LOSER! You make me AND everyone else BARF!!!; Screw DINE WITH DEX, I’m DONE WITH DEX; Heard you’re a pigeon killer! Guess you hate animals as much as your audience; Dex--look up at the sky. Maybe you can see Halley’s Vomit!; PUKE YOU…DEXcrement!

One after another, after another. The list seemed endless, and as much as Dex wanted to slam the computer against the wall, something in him made him keep reading.

A knock at the door forced him away from the screen.

“Hey,” Alicia said, carrying a video tape. “I need to show you something.”

“Great. Is it a documentary about what went wrong?”

“No, actually, it’s a clip about what’s going right.”

“There is no right anymore,” Dex moaned.

“You are going to have to stop obsessing at some point,” Alicia warned. “There’s too much at stake.”

“Whatever. So show me. Did ‘Class Puke’ reach a billion views or something?”

She pushed the tape into his dvd/vcr player and flopped next to him on his bed.

“These are the interviews I did at your show before they served lunch.”

“Before, being the operative word,” Dex added.

“Just listen!” Alicia insisted pressing ‘play.’

A heavy girl in a baggy pink shirt was speaking. “For someone really thin, he knows a lot about what tastes good. I’m really looking forward to lunch.”

“Or bringing up lunch as it turned out.” Dex forced a laugh.

“Sshhh… Listen,” Alicia insisted.

A dark-skinned guy with dark spiky hair said, “I took an International Cooking class because Dex makes cooking look cool. My girlfriend might love me more if my food could taste like his.”

“He’s an awesome chef,” said a girl who wasn’t Tracey but looked like her. “He could so be my boyfriend.”

“Thanks Dex,” whispered a dorky kid, “for showing us that kids can be successful doing the unexpected.”

Alicia changed the tape. “These are the interviews I did with Liza and Kyle at school a few days ago. I asked them why they think you’re a success and if they think fame has changed you.”

Dex let out a long sigh and sunk back in his pillow while Alicia turned the player back on. Liza was on the screen.

“That’s a good question. Why is Dex a success? Um…I don’t know.  He’s still, you know, Dex. But when he’s on TV, he’s like, Dex on TV. He’s got watch--ability. Yeah, that’s it. And when you see him cook stuff, you want to eat it. I don’t think he’s changed really. I mean, more girls kiss him now, but that’s about it.”

Kyle appeared on screen next looking wide-eyed and stuck, like a deer in headlights. This time you could hear Alicia speak.

“What do you think has been the biggest reason for Dex’s success?”

“His white chocolate chip cookies are awesome.” Kyle sounded like a robot.

“And?” Alicia prodded.

“His almond crusted crab cakes are real good too.”

Alicia turned off the tape. “See. They think you’re great. We all do.”

Dex rolled his eyes. “Things are different now.”

“Yeah. You gave up your lunch stand and you quit the show.” Alicia started for the door. “But just remember, some things haven’t changed, Dex. We’re gonna lose Poppy’s Kitchen.”

“I get it. But, who’s going to buy my lunches or watch me cook when my food made my entire class puke?”

That was an obvious question, but try though he might, Dex could not find an obvious answer.