Dialogue (13 page)

"I changed my mind; let's go," Bull said, picking up the basketball.

"Oh, no, Bull," Lillian said, marching toward her husband. "You're not going to cheat the boy out of his victory."

"Who in the hell asked you anything?" Bull said, glaring at his wife.

"I don't care if anybody asked me or not. He beat your fair and square and I'm not going to let you take that away from him."

"Get over here, mama's boy," Bull said, motioning to Ben, "and let's you and me finish this game."

Ben moved forward until he heard his mother shout at him, "You stay right there, Ben Meecham. Don't you dare move."

"Why don't you go hide under your mother's skirts, mama's boy?" Bull said.

He was gaining control of the situation again and was entering a phase of malevolent calm that Lillian was having difficulty translating.

"Mama, I'm gonna play him," Ben said.

"No, you're not," his mother answered harshly, with finality, then speaking to her husband, she said, "He beat you, Big Marine. He beat the Big Marine where everybody could see it, right out in the open, and it was beautiful. It was just beautiful. Big Marine can't take it that his baby boy just beat him to death on the basketball court."

"Get in the house, Lillian, before I kick you into the house."

"Don't threaten me, Big Tough Marine. Does Big Tough Marine have to pick on his family the day his son becomes the better man?"

This novel's theme is about a man growing smaller and his family growing larger—on the inside. Ultimately, it's about forgiveness. It's painful to watch, but something inside of the reader cheers when Bull missteps and Ben and the others are given the glorious opportunity to emerge as bigger people. In this basketball scene, Bull continues to taunt Ben, but we know something is

different. We can feel it. This is a pivotal scene in the story and Conroy executes the character transformation so well, I think it's my favorite story scene of all time.

reveals/reminds of goals

The most important element of each scene that you create in a story is to know what your protagonist wants and be able to
show
it through the action and dialogue. The protagonist wants something in the overall story that in each scene he takes steps to achieve. You're moving the story forward in each scene by challenging the protagonist, throwing an obstacle at him, thereby reminding us of his goal and intention in the scene and in the story.

In the following excerpt from
Saint Maybe
by Anne Tyler, Ian, the main character, is trying to confess a perceived horrible sin to his parents. His mother, however, is just not hearing him, choosing instead to focus on her role as a victim. Ian believes he is responsible for his brother Danny's suicide because of something Danny told him shortly before smashing his car against a concrete wall and killing himself. Now Ian has decided to drop out of college and learn to build furniture so he can help his mother with his brother's stepchildren after their mother also dies. He feels he needs to in some way pay for his sin. In this scene, we're reminded of Ian's goal, his intention—penance and forgiveness—and the story moves forward as we see once again what he's really all about.

His mother said, "I don't believe this. I do not believe it. No matter how long I've been a mother, it seems my children can still come up with something new and unexpected to do to me."

"I'm not doing this to you! Why does everything have to relate to you all the time? It's for me, can't you get that into your head? It's something I have to do for myself, to be forgiven."

"Forgiven what, Ian?" his father asked.

Ian swallowed.

"You're nineteen years old, son. You're a fine, considerate, upstanding human being. What sin could you possibly be guilty of that would require you to uproot your whole existence?"

Reverend Emmett had said Ian would have to tell them. He'd said that was the only way. Ian had tried to explain how much it would hurt them, but

Reverend Emmett had held firm. Sometimes a wound must be scraped out before it can heal, he had said.

Ian said, "I'm the only one who caused Danny to die. He drove into that wall on purpose."

Nobody spoke. His mother's face was white, almost flinty.

"I told him Lucy was, um, not faithful," he said.

He had thought there would be questions. He had assumed they would ask for details, pull the single strand he'd handed them till the whole ugly story came tumbling out. But they just sat silent, staring at him.

"I'm sorry!" he cried. "I'm
really sorry!"

His mother moved her lips, which seemed unusually wrinkled. No sound emerged.

After a while, he rose awkwardly and left the table. He paused in the dining room doorway, just in case they wanted to call him back. But they didn't. He crossed the hall and started up the stairs.

This is a pivotal scene as Ian unburdens his soul to his parents and gets no response whatsoever. We're reminded of his intention in the story when he says, "It's something I have to do for myself to be forgiven." This is what the story is about, Ian working hard to get forgiveness for his "sin." In every scene, you want to remind your reader of the main character's intention, as this is the way you engage your reader and keep engaging her as the story progresses. Using dialogue for this purpose is especially effective because the character is stating his goal out loud. It's coming right from his mouth.

Your protagonist can sit around and think about his intention or you can create a scene of dialogue and action and show his passion about his intention in a scene with other characters. Dialogue shows.

keeping your characters in social settings

Dialogue can only keep the story moving when you put more than one character in a scene. When you isolate your characters, there's no one for them to talk to. There's no dialogue. Of course, there is no way to get around putting your characters in scenes by themselves once in a while. But if an isolated character scene goes on too long, the story starts to dry up.

This seems to be a problem with many mainstream and literary stories; the protagonist is too often alone in scene after scene, engaged in self-analysis. The reader will hang in there for a while, but rambling self-analysis

slows the story way down, and if it goes on too long, you risk losing the reader. So, when thinking through the scenes you want to create, remember that, for the most part, your reader most enjoys those scenes where two or more characters are engaged in some degree of dialogue and action.

A scene of dialogue must always move the story forward in some way. No exceptions. If you ever find yourself creating dialogue that fails in this purpose, you'll just have to throw it out later, no matter how creative, clever, funny, or brilliant.

Now, have you ever wondered if there's a strategy to bring all three elements of the scene together—dialogue, narrative, and action—so the scene is balanced and focused in its purpose? This is what we'll deal with in the next chapter.

Provides new information. Stephanie and Peter, a married couple, are opening up a new business together, a Greek restaurant on the south side of town. They have had their door open for several hours now and are serving customers. This is a dream come true for this couple. Suddenly someone walks in the door and gives them some information that lets them know this may not be their dream come true after all but the beginning of a nightmare. Write a three-page scene of dialogue that is full of tension and suspense and includes some new information that will take the plot in another direction entirely.

Reveals new obstacles. Imagine the kind of conflict that would make you crazy. (Our best story ideas come from experiences that we ourselves have lived, would want to live, would hate to live, wish we had never lived, etc.) Yes, this is fiction, but in this scenario make yourself the protagonist. Think of a goal that you have in your life and put yourself in a scene with another character—someone who knows you well. Write three pages of dialogue that opens with the other character announcing the obstacle to your goal. How do you feel? What would you say? How would you act in that moment that you know you may be facing an insurmountable obstacle to your goal?

Increases suspense. Every scene in every story should have suspense, but in thinking about a dialogue scene moving a story forward, the suspense needs to connect to the overall plot and theme. Whether the plot is action/adventure, romance, or literary, the dialogue can be used to create suspense. Choose one of the following subjects and write a three-page scene of dialogue that shows the characters in conflict and the suspense intensifying as far as the story's outcome.

• war • assisted suicide • prison reform

• racism • gay parents • homelessness

Furthers the theme. Choose a subject you feel strongly about, that you could write a story about. Summarize it in a sentence—the conflict or problem and what you see as the resolution, if you have one. Now put two characters into a scene who are on different sides of this issue. It's your story, so the theme that should be evident in the scene is the way you perceive the situation can be resolved. In your three-page scene, show your characters in conflictive dialogue to the point where both of them are thinking a little bit differently at the end of the scene than they were in the beginning.