Didn't I Warn You (13 page)

SIXTEEN

I
SAT
IN
the speedboat, gazing up at the yacht towering above us. Under normal circumstances, this would be considered a big speedboat. Much bigger than the one Dad used to take Josh and me out in. Mostly Josh—but sometimes me, too.

Next to the yacht, the speedboat could’ve been a toy.

The sea lay calm as a painting but so much more vivid than anyone could hope to capture on canvas. You’d never know it’d stormed last night. The sun blazed in the sky, and we in the speedboat were nothing more than a speck in the vastness of the ocean.

“You ready?”

To let Haithem whisk me off into nothingness?

Sparkling blue stretched around us. Not a scrap of the land he’d promised.

I nodded.

He reached underneath my seat, pulled out a life jacket it and handed it to me. I put it on and did up the straps as tightly as they would go.

He started the boat, steering us away from the sun. I held my hat on my head with one hand. The air cascaded over us. Haithem’s T-shirt rippled over his back. I almost hadn’t gotten into the boat with him looking that way. Pale blue T-shirt, white board shorts, bare feet. Casual, like some regular hunk. I preferred him in his immaculate, formal dress. At least that made him look like what he was—someone to be reckoned with.

Not sexy beach guy.

The boat hit a bump. My backside rose off the seat then slammed back down. A thrill ran from my knees to my head.

I laughed and gripped the edge of the seat.

Haithem glanced over his shoulder—striking me with an even deeper thrill. He pulled a lever, taking us faster. We rushed across the ocean, parting the air and water around us. My insides rose and fell, while my outsides flailed and bounced. He turned the boat in an arc.

My heart lifted.

I shook with laughter. Air swept the hat from my head. I lunged for it, but it blew into the water, disappearing from sight as we sped on. The boat slowed, and I glimpsed the so-called land.

Starting as a pin-sized island, it grew into something big and vegetated enough to outrank a sandbar, but it wasn’t what I’d anticipated when I’d asked for solid ground.

We drew closer, approaching a small dock—the only evidence anything human had ever been to the island. Haithem stopped the boat and helped me out.

My feet hit wooden planks, yet the ground still didn’t seem steady as it should be. I took a step, and the dock rolled. I stumbled off onto the sand and sat.

“Sea legs,” Haithem said, carrying a basket and a bunch of towels out of the boat. “You’ll adjust in a minute.”

I kicked off my sandals and buried my feet in the hot beach. I’d been longing for the hard, unshakable security of land beneath me—concrete, bitumen, brick paving perhaps.

Trust Haithem to be sneaky.

“I’m not sure I’d call this land.”

He dropped the towels and basket in a patch of shade. “If we go in a little farther, there’s dirt. Dirt means land.”

“You’re way too tricky,” I said, and lay down. The sand warmed my back like an electric blanket. “What do you plan on doing with me on a deserted island, anyway?”

He walked toward me, looking even bigger than usual from my vantage point with my back against the ground. “Whatever you want.” He tugged off his T-shirt and dropped it beside me. “That’s the point.”

Holy bananas, Batman.

I made a sound, tried to pass it off as a cough. His big chest could’ve been airbrushed if it weren’t for the hair spattered over his pecs and down his stomach. Perfectly sculpted yet not over-the-top. Muscles that screamed raw strength. Screamed for my fingernails to claw over them.

“But right now, let’s take a swim.”

I glanced at the water. It was probably warm on a day like this. “I’m not wearing bathers.”

“Whatever will the fish think?” He took my hand and hauled me to my feet.

“I’ll watch from here.”

“Take off that dress, unless you want to wear it in the water.” His eyes glistened. His chin lowered.

Excitement curled in my stomach. Today, Haithem was the one who wanted to play with me.

I stepped back and pulled my dress over my head.

He stepped forward. I shuffled back. He walked around me. I turned with him. He grinned then lunged for me.

I ran.

Made it to where the water licked my toes before they flew clear off the ground. My feet went over my head as my stomach hit his shoulder and my breath rushed out in a squeal. Haithem jogged into the water, turning me the right way up. I reached for his shoulders. He tossed me. My fingers slipped over his skin.

I crashed into the water, body sinking down, head submerged.

I kicked my legs and burst through the surface, gasping. Salty water streamed over my face. He hauled me to his chest. I panted.

He laughed, his chest vibrating against my skin. I pressed myself to him, absorbing the sound. He walked us farther into the water then grabbed my waist. This time, I held my breath. He lifted me high over his head and threw me. I dived down, turning underwater and swimming along the sand.

I reached his ankles and tugged his feet. He didn’t wobble. He was unmovable, as though his legs had roots. I climbed up him from behind, wrapped my arms around his neck. He jostled me on his back, then pulled my legs around his hips and dipped us both underwater. I clung to him, letting him drag me along.

We came up in a burst of sputters and laughter. He dragged me from his back to face him.

I couldn’t stand looking at him with the sun shining in his face—making him look like a golden hero. I closed my eyes and lay back, squeezing his hips with my legs. My back touched the water, and I floated. He stroked my belly. My muscles twitched. He traced my belly button then flattened his hand on my middle.

I had no delusions of tininess, but his hand on me was like the hand of a giant. I squinted at him.
He is a giant
. And I was a waif in his arms. I arched my chest, my forehead dipping below the water.

He didn’t grope my breasts—even though my body bowed with invitation. My hands drifted from my sides. He held my waist and turned, spinning us around. I raised my arms over my head. The sea churned in my fingertips.

The world rotated, and I didn’t close my eyes—I watched the earth move around us. Let the sun punch a brand in my vision.

He played with me.

Played with me for hours. Until then, I don’t think I’d ever truly played before. Not like that. Not without caution or restraint.

Not with my arms stretched out to the sky.

* * *

W
E
COLLAPSED
ON
beach towels. My legs were like weights, but my stomach ached the most. Muscles deep in my core were activated from laughter.

Haithem pulled sandwiches and cans of soft drink from the basket. “Chicken and avocado, or turkey cranberry?”

I liked both. “Whichever.”

Haithem narrowed his eyes and unwrapped both—swapping half of each sandwich for the other.

He handed me two halves. I ate the turkey, dulling the pang of my empty belly. Haithem ate leisurely, as though he hadn’t just burned double the calories I had.

He still finished before me, only by virtue of his bite size being four to my one. I gave him my chicken sandwich and watched him eat it.

I could’ve eaten the other sandwich easily, but I must’ve been feeling generous. I sipped on a lemon-flavored soda. My lips tasted like sunscreen.

Haithem finished and put the rubbish into the basket. I stretched on the towel and closed my eyes. Fingers brushed my left side.

I flinched.

The scars had faded better than I ever could have hoped. Even with creams, lotions, massage, laser and microdermabrasion. Must be that good teenage skin the surgeon had assured me he’d do his best to preserve.

Still, direct natural light and all.

“What’s this?”

I put an arm over my eyes. Maybe I could pretend to be sleeping? His finger traced the curve of the biggest scar, slightly silkier than the skin around it.

Was this the first time he’d noticed, or simply the first time he’d thought to ask?

“Angelina?” He stretched beside me, rustling the towel we lay on.

I took a breath and dropped my arm. “It’s from a kidney donation.”

“You donated a kidney?”

“Yep.” I cleared my throat and brushed sand off my forearm.

Haithem rubbed his thumb over the thickest part of the scar. “Ah, Josh?”

“Yes.” My heart somersaulted as it did every time I heard his name.

I examined my elbow. Not surprisingly, the joint looked the same as always.

Haithem took a loud breath. “But he didn’t make it?”

I dropped my arms flat. My ribs could have been soldered together the way they hardened around me.

“He made it...” Words jammed. I didn’t do this—didn’t talk about it.

Haithem touched my cheek.

I blinked at him. His face hovered over mine. Warmer than the sun behind him.

“The transplant went fine. He’d been in remission from leukemia for four years when we did it. But eighteen months after this—” I touched the scar with my index finger—”he wasn’t anymore.”

I sniffed. “He always did have the worst luck, especially when it came to being born at the same time as me.” Wetness hit my lips, salt from my tears, salt from the ocean, chemical bitterness from sunscreen. “Everything that happened to him was my fault—”

Haithem grabbed my chin, made me look at him. “Who the fuck told you that?”

“Everyone. Not with words. But every time something happened to him, they froze me out.” My nose trickled. “He was born little and weak because of me, because I was bigger and stronger. That’s why he got sick, and I didn’t.” I swiped my face. “That’s why he got kidney damage from the chemo, that’s why no one ever asked me—” My breath hitched and choked my words. “That’s why no one ever asked what I wanted. That’s why no one who mattered ever asked how I felt about all the things I had to do, or all the things I had to give up. They all knew it was my responsibility because it was my fault.”

I covered my eyes with the backs of my hands. My head throbbed. Haithem dragged my hands from my face and held them both in one of his.

“Well, I’m asking. How the fuck did you feel?”

It was impossible to look away with his gaze boring into mine.

My temples pounded. Pressure built behind my nose and eyes.

I wouldn’t have answered, couldn’t have answered—if it weren’t for the way he looked at me. Not with compassion, not with empathy. I’d had a shitload of that from everyone—friends, teachers, counselors—after Josh passed. Haithem locked gazes with me, watched me with every single part of his attention fixed on any word I might utter.

No obligatory patting on my back.

No temporary sympathy.

What I said
mattered
.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Pretty damn worthless. I’d have done anything for Josh—anything. Even when it terrified me. Because I
wanted
to, not because it was expected.”

Haithem’s fingers shifted on mine.

“We were the only ones who understood each other. We always knew with just a look what the other was thinking.”

Haithem’s features flickered softly, his eyes searching as though he had a direct view into my head. Not like having a twin, but I couldn’t deny the connection—the way Haithem read me, knew me without me saying a word.

But I didn’t know him.

I had no idea who this man was. Yet my heart screamed its secrets to him.

“Then he was gone, and no one had any clue the way it killed me.” The words left a bitter sharpness on my tongue, but it didn’t stop them pouring out. “How much I hated myself for being the one still standing.”

My cheeks burned, and I lost control of my tears and they streamed. I pulled my hands free and wiped my face. “I probably sound so petty and self-obsessed. It’s hard for people to understand what it’s like to lose half of who you think you are in a day.”

“No.” He sounded as if he’d swallowed sand. His jaw muscles stuck out. “I know exactly what that’s like. I lost my entire family in a day.”

My tears froze half-formed.

Everything inside me stilled, turned around and centered on him.

His chest rose and fell evenly.

“What happened?”

His jaw ticked, but he didn’t drop my gaze. “They were killed.”

Killed
.

Even covered in sweat beneath the sun’s hot caress, my skin chilled.

Killed, not died.

“
What killed them?” My heart galloped like horses in my ears.

He finally looked away. “Underestimating the power of greed.”

His words rolled over me—low and chilling. I wouldn’t ask more about it. He sat up and rested his elbows on his knees.

I dragged myself up beside him. “Where are you from, Haithem?”

He stared at the ocean. “Nowhere, not anymore.”

“You live on the yacht?”

He gave a half laugh. “Fuck, no. I have a few places, an apartment in New York, another in Paris, a villa in Spain, but nowhere is home.”

“Where was home?”

He glanced at me, studying me for a moment before answering. “Egypt, but my father’s work took us around the globe.”

“What was his work?”

Haithem’s eyes narrowed. I didn’t think he’d answer. “He was a scientist, among other things...”

He stared out at the water. Three times I tried to speak, but as soon as words got to my mouth, they seemed to get lost. I reached out and touched his cheek, absorbing the feel of him through my palm.

He went still.

Didn’t move. Didn’t react. Didn’t recoil.

I’d always wanted to touch him this way. To trace the bones of his face. I ran my finger from his chin to his lips and back again.

Rough, soft, rough.

I rubbed my knuckles under his jaw then up to his ear and buried my fingers in his hair. Heat from his scalp radiated into me.

My heart fluttered like a jar of trapped moths. I trailed the touch to the back of his neck and tugged him in.

I didn’t get to kiss him—he leaned down and kissed me. Kissed me as though I was something to eat. Tasted me. Tugged my bottom lip, then opened me and sucked my tongue. He took my head between his hands.