Die Once Live Twice
Read Die Once Live Twice Online
Authors: Lawrence Dorr
LIVE TWICE
a novel by
Lawrence Dorr, M.D.
Silverado Books
Napa, CA 94558
Copyright ©2011 by Lawrence Dorr, M.D.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
ISBN 978-0-9817425-6-4
Library of Congress Control Number: 2011932181
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or, when based on historical figures and events, used fictitiously.
Cover photograph: © Geoffrey Clements/CORBIS
Painting:
The Agnew Clinic
by Thomas Eakins
First edition.
To my wife Marilyn, and my kids,
Michael, Kristy, Randy, and Hunter.
A family worth living twice for.
I would like to pay tribute to the following physicians who helped bring
Die Once Live Twice
to life. These medical pioneers live again in the pages of my novel, and when you see their names know that they made real life contributions to the world of medicine and we are all indebted to them.
D. Hayes Agnew
Joe Megis
Herman Biggs
William Osler
John Shaw Billings
William Park
Ernest Chain
Louis Pasteur
Marie Curie
Walter Reed
Harvey Cushing
Peyton Rous
Alexander Fleming
Albert Sabin
Simon Flexner
Wilbur Sawyer
Howard Florey
Arthur Steindler
William Gorgas
Max Theiler
William Halsted
Emil von Behring
Danny Heatley
Warren Weaver
Hunter McGuire
William Welch
Cover Illustration:
The Agnew Clinic
, the clinic of surgeon David Hayes Agnew at the University of Pennsylvania, painted by Thomas Eakins, 1889.
PART I
1853–1893
Chapter One
—1853—
A
s the evening sunlight of a long summer day cast a streak through the window of the Pennsylvania farmhouse, Katherine Lovington sat in a straight-backed wooden chair with her hands pressed together as if in prayer.
I wonder if Mother will eat supper with us tonight. Please, God, let her get up and come help me. Please
.
Her silent prayer was answered by a cry like a wounded animal. “Aaah! Dear Lord, isn’t that enough?” Katherine leaped to her feet, but before she could run to her mother’s bedroom, another agonized wail made her cringe. “Aah! Kather—aah!—Katherine.”
Katherine moved briskly to help her mother. Maybe God was not answering prayers today.
Katherine could not believe a person could change so much. For all her thirteen years she had wanted to be just like her mother. Look like her. Dress like her. Act like her. Now her mother had lost so much weight her face was nothing but bone and shadow. Her hair, what was left of it, had turned completely gray. “Katherine, please, can you give me...” Lillian’s hand fell toward the night table, and Katherine knew she wanted more laudanum. The sweat that drenched Lillian’s gown told Katherine that the pain was raging in her body.
Katherine carefully measured out the drops and then lifted the spoon to her mother’s mouth. “My sweet daughter,” Lillian said. “I am sorry to cause you so much trouble.”
“Oh, Mama, hush,” Katherine said, fluffing her mother’s pillow and tucking the blanket up under her chin. The laudanum would quickly quiet her mother’s pain. She wished her own pain and anger could be assuaged so easily. She was tempted to try this medicine, but the smell was so foul that she could not bring herself to do it. She was agonized by her mother’s illness and enraged that the doctor could do so little. Her grandfather was the richest man in Philadelphia. His shipping and textile business employed more people than any other business. He entertained the President of the United States. She knew he had hired the best doctor in Philadelphia. But still she had to witness the horror of her mother’s suffering.
Katherine sat with her mother until she fell into a restless sleep. With this temporary peace, Katherine’s anger calmed.
What makes Mother feel better makes me feel better.
Rising quietly, Katherine returned to the kitchen to help Emma cook supper, but her mind would not leave her mother’s condition. What exactly was wrong? Why had they moved from Philadelphia to their farm near Lancaster? She wished her parents would tell her more.
“Cancer,” her mother had said. The word kept playing over and over again in her brain. She had no idea what cancer was. None of her friends had it. No one she knew had had it. She knew it was powerful, though—she could tell from the fear in her mother’s eyes. Never before had she thought her mother would be afraid of anything. Lillian Donovan Lovington was the strongest person Katherine knew, her Queen Victoria, the president of every women’s organization in Philadelphia. She raised all the money for the church, entertained the president now that her own mother had passed. Katherine truly believed her mother ran Philadelphia.
All that changed the night Lillian came home from the doctor. Though a visit to the doctor was unusual even for people with the wealth of the Lovingtons, Lillian had confidently expected Doctor Agnew to prescribe a salve that would heal. After supper, her mother had said to her, “Katherine. I went to see Doctor Agnew today at Pennsylvania Hospital. You see, I had a sore here.” She nodded her head toward her right breast. “It was draining pus.” Her mother hesitated for a second and looked at her father, who nodded. Then she continued, “You should know about this. You may have to face the same situation.” Katherine could see the fear come into her mother’s eyes. “Doctor Agnew asked for permission to feel in my armpit. When he touched me, it was quite painful.” She shuddered. “Then he said, ‘Please forgive me, Lillian,’ and that I should dress while he brought in your father.”
“Why did he need to speak to Father?” Katherine was confused. “How could he help?”
“It was not a matter of help. Sometimes doctors need to talk to both the mother and the father at the same time. When it is serious. He told me that I have cancer.”
Katherine’s head jerked back as if she’d been slapped. Then she turned back to her mother. “You’re going to heaven, aren’t you.” It was a statement, not a question.
Her father started to intercede with an optimistic tone in his voice, but Lillian stopped him. “Give the girl credit,” she said quietly. Then she turned back to Katherine. “It may turn out that way, but I don’t believe it yet.” Lillian looked into Katherine’s deep blue eyes as they misted with tears. “We will pray each night for as much time together as the Lord will allow.” Then she tried to smile. “Maybe God wants me closer to him to help him run Heaven.”
Katherine shook her head furiously. “No! I want you to be close to us. God doesn’t need you right now.”
“Well, maybe He does. God’s will is His will.” Lillian stood up. “Off to bed. We will talk more about this tomorrow if you like.”
They never did.