Dirt Bomb (12 page)

THE WEEK RACED past, even though it should have dragged because of the milking. I was getting better at managing the sixteen-a-side thing and by the middle of the week I didn’t need to turn it into a fourteen. Mum was usually the one who rolled out of bed to take me, and she was okay with me doing the driving.

Each day I went to the paddock with Buzz and Robbie, but we’d give it away around lunchtime to head for the beach. Erina and Mary Lou weren’t lifeguards but they mostly hung out there. Robbie looked pissed off that we could chat away to our girls but he couldn’t talk to his till she was having a break.

On Thursday afternoon, during one of her breaks, Jayna said, ‘I’ve got tomorrow off. Us girls want to drive the basher.’

‘We do?’ Erina said. First she’d heard of it, I’d say.

‘Yep. We do,’ Mary Lou said, even though you could tell it was news to her too.

‘Okay,’ Robbie said.

We told them where and when to meet us. That was something to look forward to while I dodged streams of cow shit that evening. It wasn’t so bad, though, the milking. Buzz was right — the cows were okay. The dog was a good ’un too.

While I was waiting for Gramps to collect me, the thought crossed my mind that a mobile could be useful. I really didn’t want one, even though most people seemed not to be able to survive without one. Mobiles chewed through the cash. Cars chewed through the cash as well. I’d have to have a real job to stop the whole lot crashing and burning if I got a rally car …Yeah right. Dreams.

Gramps arrived at last. ‘You’re finished early. Getting the hang of it, are you?’

That wasn’t worth replying to, so I didn’t.

The girls were on time next morning. The three of them were jumping around, all happy and excited.

‘I’ve never driven before,’ Jayna said. ‘Can’t wait to give it a try.’

Erina and Mary Lou both had their restricted.

Seeing as it had been Jayna’s idea, we let her have first turn. Robbie sat beside her on the manky wreck of a passenger seat.

We watched the car bunny-hop around the paddock, and we could hear Jayna’s hoots of laughter. When she brought the car back she belted it down the hill and the rest of us scattered, just in case she didn’t know how to stop, but she must have stood on the brakes judging by the squealing and general locking up of wheels. She wriggled out through the
window looking like she was all fired up, and she couldn’t stop talking.

Robbie had his go and did some showing off. Lucky for him his handbrakey worked perfectly the first time.

Erina said, ‘How did he do that? I wanna do that!’

So I explained the finer points while she listened like she was soaking it into her skin. ‘I’ll jump in and watch while you do one,’ she said when I’d finished.

‘Okay.’ It should be all right, I thought. Not even Robbie had tipped the car arse over tit doing a handbrakey. I made her hold on though, and she sat sideways, one hand on the dash and one grabbing the remains of the seatbelt. My mind went all jumpy for a second or two — what if I messed up?
Concentrate, Jake. That’s the key.

We roared up the paddock. ‘Hold tight!’ I shouted as I turned the wheel. The car slewed around in a perfect 180, and stalled.

Erina yelled, ‘Yee ha!’ and punched her left arm up in the air. ‘Can I have a go now?’

‘Sure,’ I said, grinning at her. ‘But drive a couple of laps to get the hang of the car first.’

We swapped places and she belted around the edge of the paddock. She was a good driver, smooth and fast. Impressive. She stopped at the top, ran through the instructions again to make sure she’d got it right. She nailed it first time. And the second time. What a girl.

She drove us back, both of us laughing.

Mary Lou had a try too, but she didn’t manage to get it right and came back shaking her head.

It was Robbie’s turn again. ‘I’ll take it over the jump,’ he said.

All the girls raced for the car and scrambled in, no matter that the back seats were even more munted than the front passenger seat.

Buzz and I ambled over and bent down, one on each side, to talk to them. ‘You happy there?’ I asked.

‘Yes! Come on! Hurry up! We wanna hit the jump!’ they yelled.

Buzz said, ‘Robbie’s got a history with the jump.’

‘So what?’ Mary Lou asked. ‘Let’s get this show on the road.’

‘He’s in the habit of flipping upside down,’ I said.

‘Best you do up the seatbelts,’ Buzz said.

We watched as they hunted around for the
nonexistent
belts. Then, without saying a word, they got themselves out of the car.

He didn’t flip, but the car did a couple of spectacular rocks before it decided to stay on its wheels. Mary Lou and Erina both wanted to try. No sweat for either of them.

THERE WAS THE usual note from Louise when I got out to the farm that afternoon. Hubby was doing well and would be home late afternoon but not back in the shed.

So what did that mean for me?

I found out when I’d finished the milking and was about to follow the cows down the race to tuck
them up for the night. I hadn’t even noticed the guy watching until he said, ‘Jake. Hang on a tick if you don’t mind.’

I spun around, feeling like a complete dick because I’d just been chatting to the last cow.

He nodded at me. ‘I’m Wally Long.’

I muttered something and hoped my face wasn’t as red as it felt.

He said, ‘Just wanted to thank you. You’ve saved our lives.’ He gave a bit of a grin. ‘Probably literally in my case.’

I managed another mutter about how I was glad he was okay.

‘I’m impressed, Jake,’ he said. ‘You’re good with the animals. The cows are calm, the milk take is up slightly, and even old Buster’s happy to work for you.’

I think my mouth fell open. I didn’t have a clue what to say.

He smiled. ‘I’ll leave you to finish up. But would you mind stepping up to the house before you go? I’d like to chat about the next few days.’

He went back to the house, so I felt quite safe chatting to the dog. ‘Hey, Buster — what d’you think of that, eh? Jake Stringer, brilliant cow man.’

Myself, I didn’t know what to think. And did I want to keep milking until Wally Long felt fit enough to get back into shit heaven?

Gramps turned up in synch with me finishing, so of course he decided to come up to the house with me. I didn’t mind too much, especially if Wally gave him an earful of the Wonderful Jake story.

He did. Gramps looked right chuffed. I rolled my eyes. The crux of the little chat, though, was — would I milk for them till school started?

I kept quiet and ran a few thoughts through my head. They all had dollar signs attached.

‘All right,’ I said.

Wally let out a big breath. ‘Thanks, Jake. That’s a load off my mind.’ He tipped his head at Gramps. ‘Thank you too for doing the chauffeuring. Much appreciated.’

So of course Gramps piped up with, ‘You’re welcome. Anything to help out a neighbour.’

Wally said, ‘I’ll drive you from now, though, Jake. I wake up early anyway.’

Louise popped her head around the door at that point. ‘It’ll give him something to do. He’s sending me round the bend. Heaven alone knows what he’ll be like if he ever retires.’

So it was all arranged. Wally would collect and deliver me, and I would milk for another couple of weeks. I’d be ready for a good sleep by the time school started.

It wasn’t so bad in the end. Wally was a good driver, and when I told him I had my learner’s he told me to bring it with me next time and I could do the driving. That was good. I liked the way he drove: smooth and tidy. I asked him to tell me things, and he was a good teacher too.

We hung out with the girls every day until Erina left to go home. ‘Buy a phone,’ she said. ‘Text me.’

‘What’s wrong with Facebook?’ I asked. ‘It’s free.’ She laughed, and gave me one last hug and kiss
before she jumped in her parents’ car. She was driving.

I didn’t go to the beach that day, or the paddock. I was bushed. I went home and slept till cow time.

The bros had left me a message when I got back after milking.
We round at Jayna’s. Come on over.

I flagged it. Didn’t want to be the spare wheel. I flopped onto my bed. Speck took up her usual position on my chest. I lay there, the purring weight rumbling away, and I was thinking about Mary Lou, not about Erina, although she was tucked away at the edges of my mind.

Mary Lou was going into the army. The army paid you while you trained. You also had to do a heap of physical fitness stuff, and I was okay with that. I didn’t want to be a soldier, but if Mary Lou was going to be an electrician I figured there must be other career options too. I wanted to do something where I got to drive. I could just see me behind the wheel of a Unimog or a tank.

I shifted Speck to my shoulder and went to consult the computer. It took a while to track down the info I needed on the site, but I eventually found it under support careers — drivers. I sat looking at the word DRIVERS for a few moments. That would be one hell of a big step. I knew exactly what Mum and Gramps would say, could almost hear their voices in my head, and I looked round to make sure they weren’t there.
Good for you, Jake. I’m so proud of you. Great career, the army. Blah blah blah.

But I could handle that. I started reading the info about it.

I had the minimum quals already, and I’d be seventeen in April, which would be old enough. I was reading the part about how you should have your restricted, which I could get in June, when I read the next bit and my heart gave a thump. I read it again, and then again, but there was no changing it.
You should have no traffic convictions.

I sat back and stared at the screen.
Should
have no convictions? Did that mean if I did okay then they’d forget about the fine for driving without a licence? Somehow I couldn’t see that happening.

I DELETED THE site from History just in case Mum went investigating, and I tried to forget about being an army driver.

A couple of days later, the bros and I had to confirm our subject options for the year. We rocked on up to school, but I was so over it. How in hell was I going to get through a whole entire year of the place?

Buzz said, ‘Swap to Automotive. We can all do it. We’ll cruise through.’

‘Okay,’ Robbie said, so I said okay too. Might as well.

Mr Watene was pleased to see Buzz, enrolled him and sent him on his way. But old Wattie didn’t hand Robbie the big tick. ‘No, Robbie. Not Automotive. There’s machinery in there, lad. You’d have to keep your mind on the job and from what I’ve seen, your mind doesn’t stay in one place for a second.’

Robbie looked like Wattie had nicked his lollipop. ‘But sir — I’ve had a job all summer. I can keep on
track now, sir. Honest.’

I decided to give him a hand. ‘He’s all grown up now, sir. I don’t have to yell at him to stay on the road these days.’

‘Hmmm. Okay,’ Wattie said. ‘I’ll give you one chance.’ He lined Robbie up in the glare from his glasses. ‘Understand? One lapse of concentration and you’re out.’

‘Yes sir. Thank you, sir.’ Robbie got out of there before the old guy could change his mind.

My turn. Wattie turned his icy glare full on me, so I pulled out the job thing too. He kept glaring, but the ice melted a degree or two. ‘Why Automotive?’ he demanded. ‘And what are your plans for the future, Jake?’

I told him about getting the Holden going. ‘I got interested in it. Fixing it and all that. Learning to drive’s been pretty cool too.’ I figured it wouldn’t hurt to show a bit of enthusiasm.

‘I see,’ he said, but he didn’t go all soft and caring like he’d done with Buzz. ‘I’m warning you — I won’t put up with your usual slacking, absenteeism and general bad attitude. From what I’ve seen so far, Jake, you’re an ambitionless drifter.’

Thanks for that excellent testimonial, sir.

‘Well?’ he barked. ‘Has that car magically given you some direction in your life? A goal or two?’ The ice in his glare ramped right back up again. ‘I know your type, Jake. All go one minute and dead stop the next.’

I glared back. That was so wrong — I’d never been all go in my life. ‘I get the picture. You don’t want me.
Fine.’ I stood up. I’d stick with Tourism and sleep my way through another year of it. I slouched my way to the door, but then I thought,
Bugger you, Wattie.
I turned round and said, ‘Actually I did have ambition. I wanted to go into the army. Be a driver. But it says you shouldn’t have a traffic conviction, so I can’t.’

That made him look at me without the ice. ‘Sit down,’ he said, ‘and tell me about this traffic conviction you appear to have.’

‘Driving without a licence.’ I didn’t sit down.

‘Did you go to court because of it?’

I shook my head. ‘Nah. Got a fine. Four hundred bucks.’ I reached for the door handle.

His voice stopped me dead. ‘That’s not a conviction, Jake. A conviction is when you go to court and a judge sentences you.’

I swung around. ‘You’re sure?’

He actually smiled. ‘Absolutely. One hundred per cent.’ He wrote my name into the computer. ‘You’re accepted for Automotive. Same rules as with Robbie. One foot wrong and you’re out.’

Buzz and Robbie were waiting for me. ‘What took you so long?’ Buzz demanded.

I told them the whole story, not forgetting the army bit.

Buzz shoved me. ‘Bro, you’d better watch out. You’ll be buying a mobile next if you’re not careful.’

‘The army doesn’t let you have a mobile for the first three months,’ I said. ‘So no point.’

‘You broken the news to the mother and the granddad yet?’ Robbie asked.

I said, ‘That is a treat waiting to happen. Come on, let’s hit the basher.’

Buzz jumped on his bike. ‘First one there gets first drive.’

He beat me by two miserable seconds. ‘Cheating bastard!’ I yelled.

He slid into the driver’s seat. ‘Eat my dust!’ He gunned the motor, spun the wheels and with his foot flat to the floor roared away up the paddock. Barely got round in time to miss the fence. Crunched it into the next gear, flicked the tail out one way, then the other. Gunned the motor and zoomed in for the jump. The car lifted in the air, landing on all four wheels but rocking around like it wasn’t sure whether to flip over or not.

‘Yee ha!’ We were yelling, punching the air until Robbie started running. ‘Awesome, dude. Best jump yet! My turn next.’

I grounded him with a flying tackle. ‘Not so fast, bro. You got here last. You get last drive.’

Just to make sure, I chased after the car, took a flying leap, heard Buzz shout, ‘What the hell?’ as I clambered onto the roof. I lay flat, head down over where the windscreen would have been if we’d had one, and grinned at him.

He shook his head. ‘Dumb bastard. You won’t stay there long.’

I shifted my hands to get a better grip. Somewhere behind us I could hear Robbie yahooing and cheering. He tore up to the car from the side, took a leap good enough to qualify for the Olympics, and
thumped down onto the bonnet.

‘As I was saying,’ Buzz said, and revved the motor. I hooked a foot round the rear pillar.

He sent Robbie flying into the grass with the first flick of the tail. I held on for two more before gravity proved too much. I felt myself sliding, shoved down with my foot and kind of somersaulted onto the grass.

Robbie sat where he’d fallen. He was laughing too hard to get up. Good. I took off for the car. Buzz climbed out. I slid in.

The clutch felt heavy after driving Wally Long’s ute. The gears graunched too. I patted the steering wheel. ‘Poor old lady.’ She was suffering from old age and a tough life. I set about giving her as hard a time as I could.

Foot flat down, I took off up the paddock. Swung into a doughnut. Yes! Got all the way round. Did another one. Hell! The old girl was heading sideways for the fence. I stood on the brake, yanked the handbrake and locked the wheels up so that the car skidded head on for the fence. I hauled on the steering wheel. Didn’t make any difference.

‘Stop! Stop, ya bitch!’

She stopped, nose tucked between a couple of wires. I whipped her into reverse and eased out. Buzz and Robbie’s laughter carried up on the breeze. Let them mock. I’d nailed that doughnut.

Now for the jump. I nailed that too, rising into the air, floating, then thumping down in a landing that sent the old girl rocking and groaning.

I drove back to let Robbie have his turn. ‘She
doesn’t sound the best,’ I said as we changed places. ‘Better take it gently, bro.’

Robbie didn’t bother answering. He didn’t take my advice either, not that I’d thought he would. Just said it to wind him up, even if it was the truth.

Buzz said, ‘We’ll bring some tools tomorrow. Tighten a few things.’

‘The gear box is pretty munted, I reckon,’ I said. ‘Can’t do much about that.’

‘Well, we’ll drive her till she dies,’ he said.

Which she nearly did, thanks to Robbie. He went for the jump and landed upside down again.

Buzz and I wandered up the paddock, taking our time and admiring his excellent stock of curses. We just stood there, looking at him. ‘Like the view, do you bro?’ I asked. ‘The world’s better upside down?’

‘I’ve heard it’s good for the brain — being upside down,’ Buzz said. ‘D’you feel really really smart now, Robbie old pal?’

Robbie didn’t appreciate our humour. He said he’d like us to tip him the right way up. He used a few interesting words, and he didn’t say please.

Being the good friends we were, we rocked the car until we worked up enough momentum to flip it right side up. Robbie swore without stopping during the whole operation, but when he got out he was laughing.

We ran out of gas in the middle of Buzz’s next drive.

‘There must be a leak in the tank,’ Robbie said. ‘We shouldn’t have run out yet.’

‘You probably drained it when you flipped over,’
Buzz said. ‘C’mon. Let’s hit the beach. We’ve got time for a swim.’

THE BEACH WAS packed with kids like us, making the most of our last days of freedom before school started. Jayna was on duty. Robbie said hi so she’d know he was around.

‘Where’s Mary Lou?’ I asked Buzz.

He shrugged. ‘Dunno. We don’t keep in touch.’

Damn. I should have asked her about the army while I could. I lay face down, letting the sun do its thing, then Buzz and I headed to the water. Robbie waited till Jayna could go in with him.

I was starving when we got out. Actually, I’d been starving before then, but swimming on a full stomach and all that. I took a twenty from my shorts pocket. ‘Back in a tick,’ I said. I bought us a pie each, a coke and a couple of scoops of chips. If Robbie had a thing about not eating before swimming, he could well miss out.

I set the feast down on my towel. ‘Help yourselves, bros.’

They stuffed chips in but kept their eyes fixed on me. I wanted to tell them to eat up and shut up but I didn’t. What the hell — Buzz had earned the right to have me on if he wanted to. In the end he just said,

‘Thanks, bro.’

So I said, ‘Makes a change, eh?’

They laughed. ‘Good chips,’ Robbie said.

He went swimming ten minutes later. If he drowned, Jayna could rescue him.

They were still in the water when Buzz said, ‘Cow time.’ He stood up, brushing sand off himself. ‘When are you going to break it to the olds about the army?’

‘Probably tonight. I might need to sleep at yours if they go on too much about it.’

He laughed and we headed for home.

I didn’t say anything when I got there because Wally Long was parked at the table, chatting away to Gramps like they were best mates. It was okay though, because Wally was bending his ear about what a fine, upstanding young man I was. I went off to change into milking gear, and didn’t laugh out loud till I had my bedroom door safely shut.

I gave Gramps a cheery wave as we got into Wally’s ute, him in the passenger seat and me driving. The gear lever moved smoothly from reverse to first. Not like the poor old basher.

I snuck a look at Wally, wondering if he looked well enough to start milking again. I hoped he would be. I’d miss the dollars though.

When I finished the milking, I went up to the house as usual to collect Wally.

‘Jake,’ he said, ‘I can’t tell you how grateful I am to you. It’s not right, though, for you to be doing this when school starts. I’m fit enough to take over again, thanks to you.’

‘Okay,’ I said. ‘School starts for Year 13s on
Thursday
.’ Three days away.

Louise didn’t look thrilled, but she said it was
useless to argue and would I be available to help out if needed?

I said yes. I wouldn’t be sorry to be finished with the milking, even though I’d miss the income. And the dog. Even the cows.

I went home, got cleaned up, then broke the news about the army.

I was right about them making a fuss, but I stayed staunch while they hugged me and went on about how brilliant I’d be and what a terrific soldier I’d make. I did notice though that Gramps had an evil glint in his eye and he kept rubbing his hands. Must be the thought of me on the end of army discipline. I wondered when he’d remind me that I’d have to have short hair.

‘I’ll get paid too,’ I said, just to show him where my priorities were.

‘You’ll earn it, lad. You’ll earn every last cent,’ he said, his eye twinkling like the turn indicator on a car and his hands just about bleeding from all the rubbing.

I escaped to the computer and sent Erina a Facebook message:
skype at 8 tonite?

I hoped she’d find it in time. She did.