Dirt Road (41 page)

Dad what's a fantasy?

This; what ye're talking about.

It's everybody else as well.

Yeah – except me, everybody except me. They all know and I dont. I'll tell ye something son people here go about in a stupor. They dont seem to know anything. Dad walked a couple of steps, shaking his head. Seriously, he said, it's kind of strange. They dont seem to know anything at all about what goes on in the world; politics and history. Geography! What a joke! It's a bloody dream world; that's what they're living in.

Dad we're only talking about music.

Oh are we! Is that what we're talking about? I've been with Declan all day, away and tell him that. He's a musician too if ye remember.

Of course I remember, he's a brilliant guitarist.

Yeah well…

Dad, he is.

Dad shrugged. I'm no disputing it. Actually it makes my case. How come he works offshore? Eh? He hardly does any gigs at all. He's not even part-time, he's just once in a blue moon. That was a one-off last Saturday. And how much do ye think he got paid for it?

It's not my business.

Seriously, how much? Think about it son. I'm talking the practicalities.

Murdo shrugged.

How much did Queen Monzee-ay get paid for tonight?

Aw Dad.

No. I'm only asking the question. Ye've got to. Never mind you and the girl and the other guys. Did ye ever hear about the big opera star that came to Glasgow for a one-off concert and got paid a million dollars? D'ye know what the orchestra got? Bugger all. Nothing. None of the orchestra got paid a penny.

What d'ye mean?

I'm not meaning anything except what I'm saying. If that was Queen Monzee-ay's only gig in the past six months, how much did she get paid?

Murdo frowned.

And is that to last her another six months?

I dont know what ye mean.

Is that how long it'll take her to get another gig?

Dad she's retired.

Dont fall for that one, retired, it's only rich people retire son the rest of us stagger on. It's just people wont give ye the right wage for the job. They want somebody young because they dont have to pay them so much. So you're left twiddling yer thumbs. What I'm saying is it's a struggle and a fight, a total fight.

Queen Monzee-ay fights.

Sure she does. All I'm saying is ye've got to ask these questions. How does she get by? Is she on an old age pension?

I dont know Dad how do I know! Murdo shook his head. Jeesoh Dad.

I'm only asking.

The family has the store. That's her store. She bought it when she was making money.

Right, replied Dad, okay. So that keeps her going. What about the rest of the family?

How do I know?

I'm only asking.

Well Dad ye're better asking her. I'm no being cheeky.

I know ye're not. Dad nodded. It is interesting but, when ye think about it in that way. Likes of the Gathering, when Declan played the gig, nobody paid to get in. Did ye notice?

They paid at the entrance.

That was for the actual Gathering Murdo. That was yer ticket for the whole thing. Everything that was there. That was what ye paid for. All the games and prizes and the kids' competitions, bouncy castles, everything. Yer entrance ticket paid the lot. The dance too. That dance band, how much did they get paid? Add in yer traveling costs and the rest of it. These guys needed a truck for all their sound equipment. Plus they had two roadies.

The roadies were their pals.

It doesnay mean they dont get paid. They will. Then there were seven guys in the band. Seven guys! Motel costs, petrol, food. People have got to eat and that needs paying. Dad smiled. Ye've got to pay for food ye know. People dont give ye it for nothing.

Murdo stared at him.

Dad smiled for a moment. They dont, he said.

Murdo nodded. I made eleven dollars and seventy cents busking this morning.

Ye were busking!

Yeah.

Busking?

Yeah Dad why not. Eleven seventy, it was enough for a meal, more than enough. Murdo shrugged, and made to enter the bathroom, but he paused and said, I know people need to work like in an ordinary job Dad I know that. That was always Mum, that was her. Stick in at school and go to college. It was so as I could get a job and then I could like relax and play music and not have to worry about the next meal. I mean, I know that Dad. Murdo sighed.

Dad had his hands in his pockets. He glanced at the front door, then back at Murdo and he said quietly, How much did Diego Narciso get paid for tonight?

No Dad.

For talking's sake?

No Dad no; jeesoh!

Come on, what? A hundred dollars, a thousand dollars, ten thousand dollars? What?

How do I know?

How many people went to the gig?

Murdo shook his head and stepped inside the bathroom doorway.

Just work it out, said Dad.

I dont want to work it out. I need to shower and go to my bed. The guys are coming early.

Dad stared at him.

Seven or something.

So ye're going with them? Dad smiled. I'm not that bad surely.

…

Eh? That ye want to run away. Am I that bad? Really, am I? Dad was still smiling. He shrugged. I think I'm entitled to ask that.

Dad

No, well… Dad shrugged. We've been through a lot together.

Murdo gazed at him.

Eventually Dad said, I need to ask Declan something. Dad held up his hand. Just a minute son, if ye dont mind. He opened the outside door. Declan, he said, will ye come in a minute? Just for a minute.

Declan appeared in the doorway, gripping a bottle of beer by the neck. You want the heavy-weights in on this?

Naw just eh, we're trying to bring some clarity into this.

Oh yeah so you got me, yeah… Declan yawned.

No I just mean like the practicalities, getting by as a musician.

Are you serious!

Just the basics I'm talking about; earning a wage and so on.

Declan held up his hand to stop him. Dont speak to me about no basics man, I been to Georgia on a fast train. Declan planked himself down on the edge of the double bed. You're asking me man I'm the wrong guy. I would have cut off my nose to play with them guys Tom. Sure I would. Declan growled: Clara never got paid for nothing in her entire life, except baking cakes. Chess gigged, she stayed home.

That just makes the point, said Dad.

Folks need to live Tom I aint gonna deny that. They went gig to gig, same like most of us.

Hand to mouth, said Dad.

Hand to mouth is okay brother. Diego's boys got a head start. You think he wont give them a leg-up? You heard him man they are family. He puts the word in they'll find work everywhere. Like you go to the west coast man, their kind of music, they'll get gigs. Hell Tom old Diego could fill a stadium. You come to Houston when him and the band are playing, his own band! Hey, ever hear of Lydia Mendoza? Houston lady man, born and bred.

Declan swigged beer from the bottle. He settled back on the bed lying full stretch with one hand behind his head, raised a little on the pillow. He swallowed the last of it and lifted a fresh one from the pack.

Murdo said, I need to shower Dad.

Hang on a minute.

Please Dad I'm really tired. Thursday was my last sleep. Murdo made to close the bathroom door. Does anybody need before I go? he said.

No sir, replied Declan, but go fast.

Dad shook his head.

Murdo smiled. See when ye think about it Dad: it's all I do, is music; really, I don't do anything else.

Ye can do it in Scotland.

Yeah, or here. I can do it here. Murdo closed the bathroom door
behind him. He stood inside, looking about. Folded white towels, wee bits of soap. He had his own shampoo.

*

Next morning he was roused by Dad. Dad was over him shaking his shoulder, and whispering, Half six son ye better get up.

Murdo was dressed in moments. Dad collected the remaining sandwiches from the fridge. Declan was asleep when they left the room. Sun and blue sky, a beautiful morning. They sat eating sandwiches on the two chairs by the wall, listening to the whooshing traffic noises. A main road was not faraway, and visible between buildings; big trucks passed every few seconds. Murdo said, I think that's the interstate road.

Mm.

Murdo glanced at him.

I do have a kind of sensitive question: ye got anything left out the two hundred dollars?

It was actually two hundred and ninety dollars. Ye gave me forty at the Gathering and Uncle John gave me fifty.

Uncle John gave ye fifty?

Yeah.

Dad chuckled.

I didnay spend anything.

Ye just saved it?

Yeah. Apart from bus-fares I've hardly bought a thing, except the accordeon. That pawnshop in Allentown Dad, I saw it that time we were there.

So have ye anything left?

Well only a bit.

Dad smiled. So what like's the accordeon?

Aw no bad, fine, it's alright. Eighty-five dollars. They reduced it from a hundred and twenty-five. It's paying itself already, like I
mean if ye count the busking. It's not a bad sound either, although it might not look much.

Not look much! Ye kidding! It's a beauty!

Well… Murdo smiled.

Seriously. It just glistens!

Murdo looked at him.

Even from the side of the bar, said Dad, from where I was standing. Yer playing I mean it was just… God! I'll tell ye something too, people were knocked out; Declan too, you might not have noticed. But see that slow one ye did, the one where ye took the lead. Ye could have heard a pin drop. Did ye hear that audience? Eh! Did ye hear them! God son that was something, and that accordeon too, it was just sparkling and glistening and God! just part of it the way ye were playing. It was just special, like you, you are special.

Aw Dad.

I'm telling ye.

Dad You are.

You've got to stop this modesty nonsense.

Dad I'm not modest. That's the last thing I am is modest. It's just that you're talking about another accordeon, you're talking about the turquoise one. That isnay it. That belongs to Queen Monzee-ay. She just brought it for me to use. Mine's is in the accordeon-case. And really… Murdo chuckled. It's fine but I mean, it's okay, it's actually alright.

Let me see it.

Murdo got up and opened the door quietly. Declan's bed was empty and the bathroom door closed, he was in having a shower. He collected the accordeon-case. He chapped the bathroom door on his way back out: Morning Declan!

No reply.

Outside he closed over the room door. Declan's in the shower, he said.

Glad to hear it, said Dad.

Murdo sat down on the chair and held the case on his lap, and opened it. The turquoise was inside. It was the turquoise. Murdo frowned at it, the turquoise. They had forgotten to change it. Joel should have done it. Joel had forgotten to. He should have changed it after the gig and he didnay. Joel was supposed to collect it and take it to the pick-up truck. Murdo had left the turquoise onstage with the other instruments. So he should have taken it. He did take it. He must have put it into the accordeon-case by mistake, and brought out Murdo's own one. He must have brought out Murdo's own one. How come? It's the wrong accordeon, he said.

What?

It's the wrong accordeon. Murdo shook his head and made to lift it out, but left it instead. Joel must have seen the pawnshop one when he opened the case. It was Murdo's case, so when he opened it he must have seen the accordeon. So he had to take it out to put in the turquoise. So he took it out, then he put it in, the turquoise. Murdo stared at it. He looked at Dad. Dad, he said, they've gave me it. Dad…

What?

Dad. Murdo started greeting.

Dad leaned over to him.

Murdo clenched shut his eyelids trying to stop it he just couldnt stop it, couldnt stop bloody greeting. I'm just bloody greeting, he said, I'm just bloody greeting Dad always bloody greeting.

Aw son dont worry. Dad put his arm round his shoulders. Dont worry.

But Murdo was shaking with it and had to stop just bloody stop greeting, always greeting. I'm sorry Dad.

Dont be, no; no son dont be I'm always bloody greeting.

I'm always bloody greeting Dad I cannay stop bloody greeting just myself like Dad in the bloody bathroom I just start greeting, Dad, I'm just greeting all the time. All the time.

Me too, said Dad. Me too. Jesus Christ me too. Dad was shaking his head.

Murdo blew his nose. I just cannay get over it like I just I dont know what it is – just Mum I mean – and Murdo was greeting again. He stopped and blew his nose. Ah God.

Dad was nodding his head.

It's Queen Monzee-ay. It's her, she's gave me it. She's took mine and gave me hers. Murdo took another tissue from his pocket and blew his nose. I'm sick of greeting Dad I'm sick of it.

Oh Christ.

I'm not as bad as I was but it's still bad. Are you the same?

Yeah. Dad wiped his eyes.

Murdo shook his head. Ye know like this, Queen Monzee-ay giving me the accordeon and you asking about how much ye get paid and like I know what ye're meaning about last night too how I never got paid.

But I wasnt meaning that. I wasnt meaning that.

I'm only saying how maybe she got paid and we didnay, me and Gene and Sarah.

But I wasnt meaning that!

Yeah but

I wasnt.

I thought ye were Dad sorry. But it's this side of music I like, where ye just meet people and become friends. Then ye dont see them again till maybe six months later like doing a gig and ye bump into them. And like all the stories about who played with who and all the old-time guys and the old-time events and festivals that all used to be there. It's just special Dad, it doesnay matter who. But did ye see how he bowed to her, how he bowed to her?

What?

Diego. How he bowed to Queen Monzee-ay.

Did ye not see him?

No…