Dirt (The Dirt Trilogy) (11 page)

“Yeah. I’ll be out in a minute.” After drying off, I put on my
mother’s clothes.
They
fit perfectly
and
it’s
surreal. I
keep
reminding myself these were Nuin’s...Mom’s.

I smell something delicious coming from the other side of the
house. I leave the sentries to their discussion, and find Ivy in the
kitchen.

“
Sure. I’d love some. Here, you can slice up this bread. Stew is
almost done.”
The kitchen looks a lot like most kitchens in Montana, except
for the water source.
Whatever she’s cooking infuses the house with a wonderful
aroma and I’m starving. We don’t talk much, we don’t need to. I
feel
like I’ve known
her my whole life,
like family. Then I
remember we are family.I’m so unusually comfortable with her.
“Okay, boys, it’s time to eat.”
Coll and Ruis storm in, while Alder and Rowen stroll in with a
little more finesse, calmer and more grown-up.
We sit at the table, Rowen next to me, Ivy and Alder across
from us, and Coll and Ruis at the ends. The boys discuss strategic
plans for dealing with The Dark Thorn while Ivy stares at me. I’m
not uncomfortable, but curious.
“What is it?” I ask.
She looks down at her bowl. “I’ve never been to your world
nor have I seen anyone from your world. I had no idea what to
expect. You look so differentthan us, but then I again…I see Nuin
when I look at you.”
I blush not knowing how to respond.
“What’s dissemination, Alder, and how do you know about it?”
Rowen asks, not purposely changing the subject.
“Because of the other bithlings.”
“How many?” Coll asks.
“No more than a dozen in the last three hundred years. We
haven’t had an issue because sooner or later they all died. Luis, as
you remember, didn’t have the trait. I think he’s been the only one
without it.” Alder turns, to me. “I didn’t mean to upset you, Ashe.”
“No, really, I’m okay.” In the last few days, I’ve been exposed
to a reality I could not have imagined. At this point, I’ll believe
almost anything.
“Your father is a brilliant man. The serum he created has kept
you alive. But, if The Dark Thorn ever gets a hold of you, your
father or the serum, it’ll be disastrous.”
I want to ask the question, but I’m hesitant. “Why didn’t they
let me die? Why was I given a sentry?”
Everyone begins looking at one another knowing something I
don’t.
“We’ve got to tell her, Alder,” Rowen insists.
“We don’t have to tell her anything,” Coll refutes with a loud
tone. Rowen and Coll gape at one another as the tension between
them multiplies.
“Boys,” Ivy says attempting to keep tensions down.
Alder continues, but he’s very careful with his words. I’m not
sure I want to hear what he’s going to say. “Ashe, you aren’t like
any other bithling. Your grandfather is Elder Arcos, ruler of Durt.
Nuin was his only child. His wife, your grandmother, she…” He
stops mid-thought.
“What?” I insist while the heaviness in the room grows thicker.
“We really aren’t supposed to talk about it,” Alder reminds
himself.
Ivy holds her face in her palms.
“What good can come out of keeping things from me? Look
where lies have led me, where they have led you?”
“Ivy’s sister, your grandmother killed herself after your mother
died. Ashe, you’re all Arcos has left. He couldn’t bear to lose the
rest of his family. She’s the only one of our kind who has ever
committed suicide.”
Can things get any worse? I know none of this is my fault, so
why am I feeling so guilty? The room is silent. Ivy pulls her hands
from her face and tears stream down like opened flood gates.
“I’m so sorry, Ivy,” I say, although it won’t undo the past.
“None of this is your fault, Ashe. You’ve been through so
much yourself. Don’t blame yourself.” She’s reading my mind. The
problems of this world are my fault. I’m the destroyer. Everyone at
the table is solemn. As we eat, there is a hush about the room.
I help Ivy clear the table and clean the kitchen while the guys
sit in the den discussing strategy. Ivy and I make small talk and
then she brings it up.
“I can see you have feelings for Rowen,” she says.
“Yes, I …I do,” I stutter not sure about where this conversation
is leading.
“Ashe, I can understand your infatuation.”
I don’t appreciate someone I hardly know telling me how I
feel. I put up my defenses.
“I’m not infatuated.It’s more than that.”
Anything I liked about her is now going out of the window.
I’m not a child and all I’ve been through in the last week or so is
enough to make me realize what I want. Life is too short. Many of
the people in my life who should be here are gone-my mother, my
grandmother, and who knows where my father is. I’m not wasting
another day pretending the things I care about aren’t important.
There are a few more moments of silence as I dry another dish and
place it in the cabinet.
“There are rules in Durt. Rules made in order to keep peace, to
keep order in our world,” Ivy says.
“Well, I’m not from Durt. I didn’t ask to be here. I didn’t ask
for any of this. Everything has been taken from me, my home, my
father, my mother, everything. Rowen is the only thing that makes
sense to me if anything makes sense at all. He is the only one I have
right now, the only one I want. I won’t give him up. You can keep
your rules.”
Out of my frustration, the plate in my hand barely avoids
breaking when it hits the counter and I storm out of the room,
giving Ivy no chance to respond.
Rushing through the living room, I swarm by the guys and
slam the door to my room. I’m not the type who has fits, if you
want to call it that, but I’ve had enough. I plop face down onto the
plump bed and scream my anger face down into the crisp linen
pillow. I’m done with the lies, the secrets.
“Ashe?” Rowen stands in the doorway. I don’t think he knows
what to think. This is a side of me he’s never seen. It’s a side of me
I’ve never seen.
I end the outpour and lay on the bed looking up at the ceiling,
seething with irritation. Rowen lies down beside me, turning on his
side. His face hovers over mine. “Ashe, you know how I feel?”
I’m not sure what’s coming next.
“I know a lot of this makes no sense to you.”
“You’re wrong,” I interject. “None of this makes sense. My
entire life has been a lie. Now, I’m in another world, not knowing
what I’m supposed to think or feel. I don’t know the rules and
basically I don’t care about rules anymore.”
The setting sun beams through the green-tinted window pane
casting a glowing hue over Rowen’s face. “When someone is
chosen to be sentry, he’s not allowed certain things. Falling in love
is forbidden.”
“That’s crazy,” I say confused.“But why?”
“We are commissioned to protect. We aren’t allowed any
distractions, nothing and no one to complicate our objective.”
“So, I’m a complication.”
“You are more than a complication,” he responds while the
corners of his mouth curl
up highlighting his strong jawline.
“You’re an obsession. My obsession.”
He places one hand on my face and the other hand behind my
neck pulling me in, kissing me softly until my lips are satisfied.
“You’re everything to me. I didn’t know what living was until I
found you.
For so long you were a name, an assignment. The
minute I laid eyes on you I felt something different. I tried to ignore
it, but it was stronger than me.”
He studies my face, tracing his finger tenderly down my cheek.
He turns on his back letting out a breath of frustration.
“What will happen now?” I ask. He’s at a loss for words.
“Well, Alder and Coll are concerned and feel betrayed or at
least I think they do, but they can’t really understand our situation. I
don’t expect them to.”
I watch confusion riddle his face.
“I thought you could read one another’s minds.”
“We can’t read one another’s mind. We do sense one another’s
circumstances. If one is in danger the rest of the brethren will know
it and I guess Alder and Coll sense a difference in me. I really don’t
understand anything I’m feeling. So, I can’t expect them to be able
to relate to any of this. I know I’m a disappointment to the brethren.
No one has ever questioned the rules of sentry life. No distractions.
Full commitment. It’s not something I chose. It was chosen for
me.”
“Who chose this life for you?” I see his confliction and I’m sad
for him.
“It’s something
you are
born into. I
was born with the
characteristics of a sentry, or so that is what was said and I was
assigned at an early age. My parents were thrilled. I was given up to
Congramaid when I was about five years old. I was fine with it. I
love my parents and still see them on occasion, but Congramaid has
become my home, my family.” Sorrow hides behind the shallow
tears glazing over his lenses.
“I know you are special.” I inch my body closer to his, unsure
of my intentions. “Why a sentry? You were a child.”
“My parents and the leaders of our village recognized a trait of
resistance; the ability to resist pain, evil, greed, all temptation. I’ve
been in training all of my life. But….” Concern shows in the bend
of his brow as he raises himself up on the bed. I move back.
“But what?”
“I never expected…”
“What is it, Rowen?”
He looks at me surprised, as if he’s never seen me before. “I
never expected to meet you.” He speaks as if he’s disappointed in
himself. “I guess I’m not as strong as they’d predicted.” He brushes
the back of his hand to my cheek and curls up beside me as I rest
my head on his chest.
“I’m sorry, but how do they think you can love others and
never fall in love? It doesn’t make sense.”
“Being a sentry requires selflessness. We sacrifice for the good
of others, always putting others before ourselves. In order to do that
you must love, but falling in love is considered a selfish act.” He
squeezes me in closer. “You come before everyone and everything
now and according
to the brethren that’s a distraction. A
complication that could put others at risk.”
I drift off to sleep in his arms, my head resting on his chest, his
heartbeat as my lullaby.

Alder knocks
on the door. “Hope
I’m not disturbing
something,” he says waking me up to an awkward atmosphere.
Sunbeams warm the room.

“
What is it?” Rowen asks with squinted eyes avoiding the
resplendent rays of light.
“We’ve been summoned. All of us.”
Alder gapes at me.
Apparently, I’m a part of all of us. He closes the door behind him.
Rowen jumps out of the bed. “We’ve got to go.”
“What’s going on, Rowen?”
“We’re going to appear before Arcos, your grandfather. I knew
this was coming sooner or later.” He’s concerned, but unexpectedly
calm.
“What do you think he knows?”
“Everything.” He leans down, gently kissing my forehead.“It’s
going to be okay,” he reassures and leaves the room. I lay on the
bed thinking of meeting my grandfather. This should be an exciting
time, but for some reason I’m terrified. The possibilities of what
might happen. Are we going to be punished?
As I lay here pondering, I see an old white wooden dresser on
the other side of the room with the initial‘N’ carved on the front of
the second drawer. It’s not
artistically
done,
but looks
like
something a child would do to claim her property. The worn paint is
uneven, but I guess that’s what gives it character. I prod over to the
antiquated furniture and trace the engraving with my finger.
Nuin.
It
was my mother’s dresser. An iciness bites through me as I pull
open the top drawer. The wood squeaks as it rubs against its tracks.
It’s filled with worn faded jeans and old t-shirts. I sift through them
and pull out a change of clothes.
I struggle to open the second drawer. I pull harder and it pops
out. Soft plain white gowns lie neatly folded. I sift through each
stack without disturbing the contents. At the bottom of the stash is a
gray marble box about half the size of a small shoebox. I pull it out
carefully to keep the sound of my intrusion at a minimum. I know
I’m snooping, which is totally out of my character. I carry the
heavy box over to the bed worried I might drop it. After setting it
down, I remove the loosely fitted lid with dubiety, uncertain of
what I will find. It’s like meeting my mother for the first time. My
mother’s box of memories, the closest thing to her I will ever have.
A photograph of Dad and Nuin is the first thing I see. Dad has
his arm around her and they are smiling. I can almost hear them
laughing young and carefree. Dad’s thick, black hair is shoulder
length. He wears bell-bottoms and tie-dyed t-shirt sporting a peace
sign. His face is full of life, nothing like the man I know now,
withdrawn,
preoccupied,
and
secluded.
Nuin
appears
much
different in this photograph from the one that once sat on our
mantle. There is cheer in her beautiful face. The photograph I
remember displayed a woman veiled in sorrow.
I continue to forge through the box. A dried, red rose lay
beneath the picture. The fragility of the bud is obvious, so I’m
careful not to disturb its rest. Beside it sits a leather necklace with
an oval shaped stone pendent, about the size of a quarter, with a
symbol engraved in the center of it. Its shape is a backwards “E.”
There is a knock on the door. “Ashe? It’s me,” Ivy says.
“Wait a minute,” I quickly respond. I place the lid back on the
box and shove the necklace in my back pocket. I put the box back
into its secret place. I try to push the drawer back in, but it’s
hesitant. “I’m coming,” I shout again. As I push the drawer closed,
it squeaks. I hope my invasion isn’t given away. As the drawer
closes the door begins to open.
“Did you sleep well?” Ivy pokes her head through.
“Yes, ma’am. Come in.” I try to hide my surprise.
“I see you found something fresh to wear.” She sits on the edge
of the bed, lifts the navy blue t-shirt to her nose and breaths in
deeply. “I can remember the day she met your father. She was so
happy.”
“How did she meet my Dad? I mean she lived here in Durt.
Dad was in Montana.”
“Your mother was a carefree sort. As a child she was always
happy and extremely curious, almost to a fault,” she chuckles.
“Arcos and my sister, they could never say‘no’ to her. On Nuin’s
eighteenth birthday, Arcos gave Nuin a key to the human world.
Nuin went back and forth from this world to yours. Never with
incident. Until… well, until you were born.”
There it is again
.
“My being born screwed up everything,” I
remark.
Ivy takes my hand continuing to explain, “There’re only two
keys that open the Doorway of Feda. One key controls entry
through the doorway from our world. The other controls entry
through the other side, from the human world. Arcos had both keys
until Straif stole the sister key, the one that controls entry into the
human world from Durt. Nuin was in the human world at the time
and Straif locked the doorway. Nuin tried to use her key to return,
but it was useless. Straif had locked her out, however, after you
grew closer
to your
eighteenth birthday
Straif unlocked the
doorway. You were going to be the one who would satisfy his lust
for immortality. It was also Rowen’s time to find you and protect
you. Arcos has never forgiven himself for Nuin’s death or your
grandmother’s death. He’s always blamed himself. That is why
Rowen was chosen. You must understand your feelings for Rowen
will only obscure things. It brings back so many memories of Nuin
and Henry. She loved him so much, but that one relationship has
jeopardized the existence of our world and your world.”
Puzzlement is sketched on my face.
“It is all going to be all right, Ashe. You are here now and you
are safe. Your grandfather, the sentries and I will do everything we
can to keep you and your father protected.” She reaches under her
white robe. “I have something for you.” In her hand is a small cube
about the size of a child’s building block. It’s made of mirrors, but
instead of my reflection iridescent colors dance around the surface.
“What is it?” I ask.
“I know we probably didn’t get off to a very good start. I want
to give you something only I can give you.”
“I’m sorry about yesterday,” I say.
“As am I,” Ivy responds. “Yesterday, I felt as if I was talking to
Nuin. You are so much like her. More than you know, Ashe.”
She places the cube in her palms and visions of my mother
begin to appear on its surface. “Hold out your hands,” she instructs.
I unfold my hands, palms facing up. “What is it?”
“Close your eyes,” she says placing the cube in my hands.
“Empty out your thoughts.”
“What is this supposed to do?” I ask.
“Shhh,” Ivy sounds. I try to clear my thoughts.
With my lids shut tight, visions of my mother began appearing
in my mind. I see her as a child with my grandparents. Images of
her and my dad getting married surge through my brain. She’s
happy and joyful. I don’t know how long I remain in this state, but
when my mind goes dark I open my eyes. The thoughts are still in
my head as my own, not as if someone told me these things. These
memories are as if I experienced them myself.
“Memories. My gift to you.”
“Thank you. Nuin, is so real to me now.”
“It is my gift. I can store other people’s memories, but only if
they are given to me. This is a memory cube, much like a CD in
your world, except that it can record memories and copy them from
one mind to another.” She slips the cube back under her robe.
“After Straif locked the Door of Feda, I never saw Nuin again.
So I don’t have any memories of her after that. Those were sad
times for her and not something you would want to recall. I’m not
sure exactly what memories will surface, but overtime more of
them will be known to you.”
Ivy gets up from the bed. “You need to get ready. We’ll be
leaving within the hour. Oh, and don’t
forget
to take
you
medication.”
“Thanks, Ivy, for everything.”
“You are welcome, child. Don’t forget I will always be here for
you.” She eases out.
I clean up, change my clothes, and go to the kitchen where I
smell something ridiculously wonderful. Ivy made muffins and
fresh squeezed juice. Although it’s orange in color it isn’t orange
juice. I finish my breakfast and drink the muck.
“Thanks for breakfast. It was delicious,” I say as Ivy enters.
“You’re very welcome, my dear.” She’s gracious.
“Where is everyone?” I ask.
“Tending to the horses and getting ready to go. It’ll take most
of the day to get there.” Ivy wraps up what is left of breakfast and
packs several jars of my medicine. “We have to pack as light as we
can. We have a long day ahead of us. You will need to carry a few
changes of clothes. I don’t know how long we will be there.” Ivy
hands me a canvas bag.
“Thanks,” I say as I head back to my room and pack what I
can.
“Everything all right in here?” Rowen asks.
“Better now,” I say. He walks up behind me while I pack and
puts his warm arms around me, kissing the back of my neck with a
softness I didn’t want to end. I turn around to face him wanting
more.
“It’s time to go,” he says.
“That isn’t fair,” I say a little irritated. “You can’t come in here
and start something you can’t finish.”
He kisses me again slow and long, but not nearly long enough
for me. “They’re waiting. We’ve got to go, Ashe.” He takes the bag
off the bed and we head out.
Ruamna kneels down on her front legs, bending her knees to
the ground for Rowen to mount. He reaches for my hand swinging
me up. Ivy rides on the back of Alder’s palomino. We take flight,
heading straight up almost vertically and my throat sinks to my
stomach and I experience the rollercoaster once again.
As we fly, I glance down over the forest and villages. No
interstate, no highways, only green vegetation. The homes blend
into the scenery and are sometimes hard to pick out. Occasionally,
when we glide low enough, people on the ground wave as if they
know who we are. Alder and his crew are kind of like celebrities.
“So, how do you like Durt so far?” Rowen asks.
“Well, besides being tortured for several days and being on the
hit list of a psychotic, demonic faery who wants to sacrifice me so
he can have immortality and universal domination, I guess it’s
pretty good. After all, I do have you.”
“I’m being serious, Ashe. Do you think you could live here?”
he asks apprehensively.
“I don’t have a home to go back to, except for…”
“Except for what? Your father?”
“Yes, I worry about him. What would he do without me? How
would he manage?”
Ruamna dives down a few feet and I squeeze tighter around
Rowen’s waist. The wind blows my hair into my face, and Rowen
reaches behind and brushes it away.
“He’s here, Ashe.”
The wind rushes across his words. “What?”
“Your father is here.”
“How could you keep that from me?” I slap him on the back.
“Did you say something?” he chuckles.
“Is he okay? Why would you keep something like from me?
“He’s fine. I’m telling you now, because I found out before we
left Ivy’s. No one knew. His place of hiding is highly confidential,
for his safety and for yours.”
“Where is he?”
“I don’t know exactly.”
“I don’t believe you.”
His lips curl enough to make me want him. “Yes, you do.”
He’s right I do believe him. I trust him explicitly. But he
doesn’t realize how helpless Dad can be. When I was in first grade
social services visited our house. Someone reported that my father
wasn’t sending me to school with proper meals and no lunch
money. What they didn’t know is that he didn’t send me to school
with lunch at all. I grabbed whatever was in the kitchen and took it
to school. I didn’t realize I had to eat certain things to be
“acceptable.”
Dad wasn’t purposefully neglectful. He was different and I
realized that early in life. I heard what others said about him, but I
knew he was agood man. I knew after the social worker’s visit I
was going to have to take care of myself and make sure I made
things look “normal.”
We fly for hours, floating through white clouds that wrap
around us like warm blankets. I’m getting tired. I rest my head on
Rowen’s back never really falling asleep, but as comfortable as I’ve
ever been. Being close to him is the most wonderful feeling in the
world.
If Taylie could see me now.
“Ashe, wake up,” Rowen says.
I’m only daydreaming. “What is it?”
“We’re here.” In the distance I see an enormous structure made
of white stone. The bright sky reflects against it making it glow
against the green grass.
As we descend, I hold my breath. The drop is steep and it
makes me queasy. We hit the landing hard and I hold on as the
ground trembles. A crew of rather short men and women gather
around us and take hold of the horses as we dismount. They’re
stocky with wild fire engine red hair and freckles. As they bow to
each sentry, they give me a look of uncertainty.
“Hello, Master Rowen.” One of the Birches look-a-likes bends
at the waist, greeting Rowen.
“Bendel.” Rowen returns the gesture as we head for the castle.
Bendel looks rough, with his bright red beard braided down to his
knees. He wears a pair of overalls and laced up boots.
“They all look like Marvin and Lucinda,” I whisper.
“Leprechauns.”
“Do what? You mean Marvin and Lu…?”
“Yeah. The human world has distorted who they really are.
They do have powers for fortune, but they are probably the kindest
of beings. Nuin became
ill, and Straif decided to unlock the
doorway, but she was too ill to return. Marvin and Lucinda were
sent to help. After she passed away, they decided to stay and help
raise you. Henry wasn’t in any shape to raise a child after Nuin
died.”
I look behind me as we walk away from the stables. The little
people scamper about busily tending to the massive creatures and
unloading our bags. I think of the Birches and about how much
they’ve done for Dad and me.
Continuing toward the towers, I notice the clean fresh air that
has been a part of my experience. Butterflies, the size of dinner
plates, and massive dragonflies swarm around us in a peaceful state
of flight. Unfortunately, the tranquility around me isn’t enough to
calm my nerves. I’m about to meet my grandfather, the king.
Rowen holds my hand as we follow Ivy and the other sentries. We
ascend up the white stone stairs leading to magnificent wooden
doors. They open on their own as we approach.