Dirt (The Dirt Trilogy) (3 page)

I swallow the muck and leave Dad
’s lunch on the table. I make
sure
I
don’t miss a
dose especially
considering
Dad’s recent
behavior. He’s been in a state of worry all week.

After Pottery, I head to The Recess to meet Taylie for lunch. I
look a mess covered in clay. Every student wore an apron. It
would’ve been nice if I’d known I needed one. Sometimes, I feel so
inadequate. After throwing on the wheel, I went to the bathroom
and cleaned up the best I could, but I still look pretty bad.

I sit down in a corner booth and try to hide, from whom I don
’t
know. I guess everyone. If anybody looks close enough, they’ll
probably think I’ve been mud wrestling.

The afternoon catches up with me and
Taylie doesn’t show.
The shop is less crowded as the day before. I drink my mocha
alone. Well, at least I think I’m alone. I search the room looking for
Taylie and I see him, four tables down, the blond guy. With no one
standing between us, he stares at me hard. No expression. Nothing.
What is he about?
I wish Taylie would show up, and then my cell
rings.

“
Where are you? Get your butt over here,” I demand.
“I’m not gonna make it. We got out of class late and I’ve got
another one in fifteen minutes,” she huffs. “Call me later.” She
hangs up before I can tell her anything.

Great. Perfect. When I need her, she bails.
Grabbing my
books, I rush out. He follows behind me as I head for my car.
Glancing back every so often, I see him walking unhurried as he
traces my steps.
How can he look so calm?
I move at a fast walk,
almost jogging. He glides in slow motion. Confident. No smile. No
grimace. I’m sure he can see the fear on my face. He makes me
nervous, but I don’t feel at all threatened. Logic tells me to get in
my car and get home, but part of me wants to turn around and walk
toward him. I listen to my logic. I guess that’s my Dad in me.
Standing in front of Mansfield Library, he watches me get in my
black Honda. I stare back, but my boldness has no effect on him. I
sit in my car and time stands still for a moment. Air and space are
the only things separating us.

“
Hey, girl!” Taylie opens the passenger door and I almost pee
my pants.
“You scared the crap out of me.”
“Can you give me a ride? My professor cancelled class and
now my car won’t crank.” She doesn’t have a care in the world,
ever. It takes her a moment to noticeI’m shaking.
“Sorry, Ashe.” Her hyperactive melancholy becomes a quieter
tone.
Panting, I tried to catch my breath.“Are you all right? What’s
wrong?” she softly responds while patting my shoulder.
“That guy. You remember that blond guy built like the statue
of David?”
“Oh, that guy. Yeah, I remember. How could I forget?”
“He followed me out to my car.”
“He walked you to your car?”
“No. He followed me out here. Look, he’s standing over there.”
I point to the front of the library. He’s gone.“B… Bu… But he was
there. Strange. I don’t know what he wanted. He followed me and
stood there watching me.”
“You’re paranoid, Ashe.” She’s probably right and we brush it
off or at least I pretend to act as if it’s nothing. We head to Darby.
“He may be strange…” Taylie keeps bringing him up as I try to
get the events out of my head.“…but he’s still hot.”
“Taylie, you have a one-track mind. Don’t you ever think of
anything else?”
“No, not really.” She’s coy and nonchalant. “Don’t you ever

think about them?
”
“Yeah, I do… Definitely.”
“Why haven’t you ever had a boyfriend then?”
“Think, Taylie, if you had to bring a guy home to meet my

father, wouldn
’t you think twice?”
“I guess when you put it that way I can see what you mean.”
Taylie knows Dad. He doesn’t have the best social skills. Okay, he
doesn’t have any social skills. He could carry on a conversation
with a stranger, but it would be forced and uncomfortable for him
and for whomever he tried to talk to.
Wedon’t have any relatives. Oh, there is Mr. and Mrs. Birch.
Dad gets along pretty well with them. I’ve known them my whole
life. They’re the only other people I’ve ever met who knew my
mother. Dad’s obsession with his science, my health and my dead
mother make up his world. If I had a boyfriend, I know what it
would do to him. I don’t know what it would do to me and I’m not
about to find out.
“Well, at least he seems interested.” The blue-eyed stranger
that had my insides turned over has Taylie preoccupied.
“I don’t know if he’s interested or just a creep.” I pull up to the
little farmhouse outside of town and drop Taylie off.“Dad’s gone
to get my car and tow it the shop. Can I hitch a ride with you for the
rest of the week?”
“Not a problem.” I want someone to ride with, especially now,
with all of this strange stuff going on.
“You may have to wait on me tomorrow. My last class is a
little later than yours,” she tells me.
“Okay, I have some studying to do. See ya tomorrow.”
When I look down the highway, emptiness fills the road. So,
why do I sense someone watching me?

His eyes swallow me up with an emerald glow, like green fire.
I make myself pay attention this time.
Am I one of those typical
stupid freshman girls that get a crush on their professor, making a
total fool out of myself?
The thought of it is nauseating.
Okay, Ashe,
get over it. Get a hold of yourself. What is your problem?
This is so
out of character for me. I’m sensible. My emotions have never
gotten the best of me, until now. Practical
. Pay attention
. As soon
as I lay eyes on him, it’s as if something takes control of me
influencing me, manipulating my concentration.

As he demonstrates different strokes with oils, each movement
of the brush is abnormally graceful. His voice is sure and smooth.
Am I the only girl in class absorbed in him?
His porcelain skin
doesn’t look as perfect today and appears darker since the previous
class, but beauty hides behind his eyes and seeps out from the faint
wrinkles that weren’t there days earlier.

“
Hey, wake up sleepy head.” Jackson pokes me in the arm.
Dear God, am I drooling?
I’m embarrassed beyond belief.
“Oh, I’m awake. Trying to make sure I don’t miss anything this

time.
” I try to cover up my obvious intoxication. I attempt to
recover what dignity I have left. I wipe the drool from my lip with
my sleeve.
Ridiculous.

“
Sure,” Jackson responds raising his eyebrows as if I’ve got a
giant “L” tattooed on my forehead. Professor Bran glances at me
every once in a while with an unusual smile on his face, making me
unsettled. I feel as though he’s trying to make me uncomfortable.
Am I thinking that because I want to think that?
I’m sure every girl
in the room imagines the same thing. I’m getting on my own
nerves.

“
Next assignment. I know many of you will think it childish,”
he remarks glancing toward Jackson as if he knows what’s on his
mind. “I want you to paint a picture of your family, 11x14, in oil.
Due Friday.”

“
What? Are we in kindergarten? Doesn’t he know we need
time for this stuff to dry?” Jackson mumbles, insulted by the
assignment, again.

“
See ya Friday.” I walk to the opposite side of the room
placing the painting of my home with the others. I wait for the blow
as the Professor walks along the wall scoping the students’ work.

He knows my name. I don
’t know how he knows me from the
other thirty or so students in the class. He looks at my painting
rubbing his chin while he ponders. He picks it up.

“
Hmmm. interesting. And this is from your soul?” he asks with
a haunting silkiness.
“It’s the best I could do,” I answer knowing what he thinks of
my inferiority.
“Shows promise,” he whispers. I thought he had to be kidding,
but nonetheless, I’m thrilled. At least, today I will leave class on a
good note.
Heading to the library to meet Taylie, I keep my eye out for the
tall blond. Part of me wants to see him. Part of me is dying to see
him, but reason and good sense tell me to avoid him.
What would I
do if we start seeing one another?
The thought is unreasonable and
out of the question. He could be a nut, a serial killer, a freak. I try to
talk myself out of wanting to find out what might happen.
I claim a table toward the front of the library, so Taylie won’t
have a hard time finding me. I pull out
Romeo and Juliet
and began
to read
my
assignment
trying
to center
my
attention
on the
Montagues and Capulets, pretending to concentrate.
The sound echoes through the library as the chair across from
me scrapes sharply against the floor making its mark into the
laminate. Looking up, I see him, standing directly in front of me
with his flawlessly sculpted hand on the back of the wooden chair.
His shoulders are broad, fitting perfectly in his white t-shirt and
faded jeans. Every ripple from every muscle shows defining the
human body like I’ve never seen before. He leans his head forward
showing ever more his perfect definition. His golden wavy hair is
sharp and clean, with every strand exactly where it’s supposed to
be. He sits down and opens a book that’s been under his arm. He
lifts his gaze from the pages and walks into my eyes, drowning me
in blue.
I shake my head lightly, trying to pull myself out of whatever
trance I’m in. I feel drawn to him, but unsure. Still, he makes me
wonderfully uncomfortable.It’s happening again. It’s as if the spirit
of a carefree airhead has taken over my mind.
Am I becoming boycrazy like Taylie?
God, I hope not.
That probably didn’t come out right. I don’t think Taylie is an
idiot, she’s my best friend. She sees things through a different pair
of lenses. Probably something like sunglasses. Really thick, dark
sunglasses. Designer of course.
I try to ignore him burying myself in Shakespeare attempting
desperately to focus on the written word; anything to get my mind
and my eyes off of him.
I can feel him looking at me, saying nothing. I peer up from the
book.
“Hi,” he says with a slight smile. His lips curve up a little at the
corners.
I’m mute.
Can he tell I’m not breathing?
My heart beats solid
up against my rib cage on the verge of implosion. I know it has to
be making the table vibrate.
It’s all I can do. I muster up one syllable. “Hi.”
“Anyone sitting here?” he asks knowing the answer.
“You are now,” I respond as if I know of anything else to say
and being cool is definitely not my thing.
What does he want with
me?
I keep my face down trying to avoid a conversation. I know if I
speak it will reveal my awkwardness. I can sense his stare.
“I’m Rowen.”
“Ashe,” I answer without raising my head.“I’ve really got to
study,” I say trying to avoid a conversation, not because I don’t
want to talk to him, but because I don’t know how. Guys like him
don’t talk to girls like me. It’s pretty simple. I’m simple. I blend in
and I guess I do on purpose.
“So do I,” he responds unaffected by my suggestion that I’m
not up for a chat. He slides his book across the table out of the way.
He’s not here to study.
I try to focus on my text. His scent is warm and refreshing.
When I inhale, the feeling of menthol rushes through my nose
warming my lungs. I catch my breath again; my lungs are fuller
than they’ve ever been with air that makes
me feel like I’m
breathing for the first time. He continues to stare, saying nothing.
Does he know my palms are wet with sweat? Does he know my
heart is throwing itself against my chest?
Where’s Taylie?
This situation is wonderfully awkward. I don’t
want to leave. I don’t want him to leave. As I bring my senses back
under control, I’m able to find some words somewhere in my
throat.
“What are
you studying?”
I
ask
trying to break up my
discomfort.
“Mythology.”
“Oh,” I say looking at the unopened book that is pushed to the
edge of the desk. I pause for a moment that seems like days. I’m
lost in the vapidity of insecurity; my loss for words makes me look
brainless. There’s nowhere to hide, so I dig a little deeper and to my
surprise more words come up passing through my lips.
“Why were you following me yesterday?” I don’t want to run
him off, but I have to know.
“I wanted to make sure you made it safely to your car.”
“Why? You don’t even know me.”
“Hey, Ashe. Who’s this?” Taylie jumps in at precisely the
wrong time, clearly more excited than she needs to be, smiling earto-ear. “Rowen, this is Taylie. Taylie, Rowen.”
“Isn’t this cozy.” She’s a little too giddy.
“Guess I’d better be going.” Rowen glides his book along the
table and slides it back under his arm, elegantly floating across the
room. The library doors brushes a breeze smoldering him like a
blanket as he walks out.
“Okay, details.” Taylie insist.
“No details, Taylie. He just came over and introduced himself.
No biggie.”
“Ashe, you need to loosen up.”
Inside, I hope to see him again, but I don’t want Taylie to
know. She’d never let it go. Taylie chatters on as we make our way
through the parking lot. What she says exactly, I have no idea.
I plop into the driver’s seat and I see him again, standing on the
steps of the Fine Arts building. He watches me. No smile. No wave.
Nothing. No acknowledgement that I’m looking at him. It’s all so
strange. I crank the car and pull out onto the road. Through my
rearview mirror, I can still see him standing there watching me as I
drive away. I don’t let Taylie know he’s there. I don’t want to hear
her overly excited assumptions. She continues muttering about
something and she doesn’t even notice him. He seems to be
everywhere I am. I’m not complaining, but I wish I knew where
this is going.