Dirty Bad Secrets (5 page)

I closed my eyes, sinking into the fantasy. The fantasy of her at my feet, tear-streaked as she begged to stay, begged for forgiveness, promising to do whatever I asked, without question.
I’ll be your slave, Andy, I swear. Use me. Punish me. Make me pay for what I did to you. I deserve it. Please... oh, please, Andy. Please...

Yes.
My fingers in her hair, angling her face up to mine.
Show me how fucking sorry you are.

I’d hoist her by her wrists, leave her dangling in mid-air, gagged and bound, and nervous. She’d cry as I slapped her pussy, jerking and wriggling like a fish on a fucking line.

Think of him now, Faye. This is for every time he fucked you. Every time you laughed at leaving me behind. Every time you ignored my fucking emails, Faye, you ignorant fucking bitch. Thought you could just walk back in, did you? That Andy fucking Morgan would welcome you home like a wet fucking pussy? No fucking way, Faye, you’ll earn it. You’ll fucking earn it.

My grip tightened around my dick, faster, faster.

I could still smell her on me, still smell the sex. She’d asked for it, she’d fucking asked me.

The sting on my back from the flogger, the pink of her skin... fuck...

“Twice in one day. Jesus, Andy, they got you wrong.” Faye’s smile was smug, bold in the doorway. She breezed in like she owned the place, cool and collected, as if she hadn’t just washed up like trash on a beach.

I shoved my dick away. “You fucking
knock
from now on, understand? You work the fucking bar. You don’t just walk in here.”

She ignored me, walking around the desk with the same sly smile. “What are you watching? Masque re-runs? Quite a beast, isn’t he? Do you like him? I’d love to see that.”

Frantic fingers closed the directory, just in time. “What do you want? Had enough of real work already?”

She shook her head. “Not at all. I’m enjoying it.”

“Sure you are.”

“I am, actually. Topaz is nice.” She scanned my screen before I could stop her. “Why are you Googling my hotel?”

“No reason.”

“Planning a late night visit?” she smirked. She sat on the edge of my desk, and the flicker of pain across her eyes was captivating.

“Don’t count on it,” I said. “That little
thing
earlier was most definitely a one-off.”

“That little thing? We had sex, Andy. We
fucked
. You fucked me.”

“I know what we did, Faye.”

“I enjoyed it.” Her eyes flicked to my crotch. “So did you.”

“I enjoy a lot of things that are hazardous to my wellbeing. Doesn’t mean I’m in the habit of indulging them.”

“If that’s what you want.” She folded her arms.

“We should talk. Practicalities. Are you on the pill?”

Her answer was instant. “Yes.”

“Thank fuck for that.” I met her eyes. “Anything I should know? Are the itchy and scratchies going to turn up for me? Is my dick going to grow another head? Shrivel up and drop off?” My laugh was dry and humourless.

She rolled her eyes. “I got tested in Italy.”

“You needed to, then? Fuck your way through Venice, did you?”

Her gaze was piercing. Steady. “I was clean.”

“
Was.
We’d better hope Sergeant Dumb-fuck Sin keeps his filthy fucking cock clean.”

“He used a rubber, had it on the whole time we were on stage. I’m not a total fucking numbskull.” She gestured to the door. “I’m going to head out, get something to eat before we open. You could come, or we could order a pizza and compare bruises.” She laughed. “Your cock just actually twitched, do you know that?”

“No, it fucking didn’t. You’re a prick, Faye.” Her laugh was contagious. I had to fight back the urge to smile. “Fuck off and get some dinner.”

“Yes,
sir
.” She mock saluted. “Topaz and I are heading over to the grill around the corner if you change your mind.”

“Topaz and you? Bosom fucking buddies now, are you?”

“She’s nice, like I said.”

“Nice and fired if she doesn’t watch herself.”

Big brown eyes challenged me. “You wouldn’t fire her. She’s too good.”

“I’d fire anyone with questionable loyalty. No second chances.”

“I get it. You’re still angry. No need to rub it in my face every five seconds.” She stood to leave.

Her comment pricked harder than it should have. I felt it flare in my gut. “You have no idea how fucking angry I am.”

“Keep me on bar for the next ten years if your stupid little power trip makes you feel better, it won’t make any difference.” She smoothed down her skirt. Deliberately. Spreading her thighs at just the right angle for me to see her bruises. “It’s a good job I came back. You keep good staff unmotivated, that’s going to change.”

My eyes narrowed. “What shit are you talking now?”

“Topaz. The pretty green-haired girl who brings you coffee. Seems you don’t even acknowledge she exists. That’s not a good management style, Andy.”

“Here we go.” I felt my heartbeat in my temples. “And what the fuck do you know about management style?”

Arms folded, smug smile. “I’ll bet you don’t even know her name. Her
real
name. When was the last time you spoke to her, properly?”

“Topaz told you all this crap, did she?”

“No,” she said. “I just know you.” She stalked to the door, swinging her hips in triumph.

“Emily Alice Gladwin. Her birthday is on June 22nd, a Cancerian, I believe. She’s twenty-three, lives in Elephant and Castle with her mum and stepfather, the same stepfather she’s had since she was a toddler. She has two younger sisters, half-sisters. Phoebe and Kate. They have hamsters, a cat too, Pickles. She’s been working here two years and three months. This is her first main job, before this she worked part-time in the same shop as her mum.” I watched Faye’s eyes widen. “Oh, and she wants to be a writer. I’m sure she told you that already during your cosy little heart to heart. Maybe you can give her some tips? Call up good old Vincent for some writing advice? I’m sure he’d be pleased to hear from you. Did you actually manage to say goodbye, or did you bail on
him
in the middle of the night, too?”

Her face bloomed like a slapped arse. “Stop it.”

“Fucking hell. You did bail, didn’t you?” I couldn’t resist a bitter laugh. “That really is your modus operandi, isn’t it? Faye Devere, disappears in a puff of smoke when the going gets too fucking tough for her. No grit, that’s your problem, no sense of commitment.”

“You have no idea what happened in Italy, Andy. No fucking idea why I left.”

“At least I’m not the only one you mugged off. Did you drop
him
right in the shit, too? Or was that just me?”

She turned the doorhandle, but her eyes stayed on mine, simmering. Something else, too, the thin line of her lips quivered for just a heartbeat. “You can be such a spiteful prick, Andy. I really don’t know why I came back here.”

I’d pushed it too far, and I knew it, but my ego stormed on ahead of me. “You know where the fucking door is, Faye. Don’t let me stop you.”

She didn’t. She stormed right out and didn’t even give me the finger.

***

Faye

“Such a pretty bird. My Magpie. My beautiful Magpie.”

He taps the crop underneath my chin until my eyes lift to his.

“Smile for me, pretty bird.”

My smile is hollow. Sad. Vincent doesn’t care, though, just as long as I’m smiling.

“You know it’s all a show out there, don’t you? It’s theatre, Magpie, nothing more. They don’t mean anything to me. Not like you, not like my precious bird.”

The gentle caress of his fingers on my cheek, and I’m kissing them. He pushes his thumb into my mouth.

“Show me what you want, sweet bird.”

I suck on him, my eyes hooded as I stare into the darkness in his. My lips make slurping noises, little suckles that make him gulp. I watch his throat move.

“This is what matters... Only us... This is what’s real...”

A tear spills down my cheek and I don’t make any effort to hide it. I can hear the revelry so close, the rhythmic waltz of sex and pain.

“Is my pretty bird going to sing for the crowd? You break so beautifully, my sweet Faye. Such an exquisite gift. It would be a crime to keep you all to myself.”

The crop on my skin, tickling along my collarbone, and down, to my naked breasts. I keep sucking on his thumb, and he groans his approval. It’s the sweetest sound. The only sound. “I know what you need, hungry girl.”

He pulls away, wiping his thumb across my lips. A moment before the camera clicks. My eyes are heavy with tears. “Such beautiful sadness,” he whispers. “You look magical. Truly magical.”

He fastens me into the mask, a half-face of black and white feathers and swirling glitter. I’m pulled to my feet, my hands so small in his.

“Keep your eyes on me,” he smiles. “Remember, you sacrifice your body for my pleasure.” He kisses my cheek, and I’m smiling again. “Showtime,” he grins, and pulls open the curtain.

So many eyes, so many hands, and I’m lost. I drop to my knees, cry out at the vicious fingers on my breasts and between my legs.

A woman’s tongue against my lips. “She tastes so sweet,” she laughs. “Open wide.”

Her fingers prise my mouth open and a dick fills it. My eyes dart around as I suck. Musky, thick and deep, my eyes stream as I retch, and people are laughing. My heart pounds as I catch sight of Vincent, he’s a few feet away, not far. I cry out for him, but it’s muffled by the cock in my throat. The bodies shift between us, and I see him more clearly.

And her, I see her, too. The same woman it’s been every night this week.

Her ass slams against his stomach as he fucks her, and she grunts like a pig, her big tits swinging under her. She’s biting her lip, and he’s pulling her hair, pounding her pussy as another man pounds mine.

Our eyes meet and he smiles, blows me a kiss and puts his hand on his heart. “Beautiful,” he mouths. “My beautiful Magpie.”

Someone stretches my arms, shackles me to a bar, and my legs are spread wide.

“She’s crying.” Someone laughs. “How pretty. Let’s give her something to cry about...”

I smile before the whip cracks, and keep my eyes open long enough to watch my lover come in another woman’s pussy. His face turns red, eyes screwed shut, and he’s groaning, pulling on her hair.

Jealousy pangs fresh, all over again.

Two years I’ve been in this place. Two years at his side, in his bed, in his arms.

I’d begrudge nothing... not the parties, or the pain, nor the women wrapped around his cock, moaning as he fucks them, grinning as he spills his seed inside...

If only he’d fuck me too.

***

Faye

I kicked off my heels in the taxi, blisters killing worse than any bruises. The dawn was already breaking on a chilly Sunday morning. I was knackered, exhausted, run ragged by a Saturday night shift behind the bar. It was heavy going, I must have walked ten miles and then some. Ten miles in six-inch stiletto heels. I don’t know how the other girls kept so bouncy.

The taxi pulled up outside my hotel and I limped my way across the pavement. Reception was closed, and I let myself in through the dim foyer, creeping upstairs to my room. It was nice, clean. Cream and tasteful, without any clutter.

I flopped on the bed, a starfish on the duvet, contemplating falling asleep where I was until my mobile started up. My heart leapt until I recognised the London code.

“Hello?”

“There’s more to bar work than swanning off as soon as the doors close.”

I groaned. “It’s gone six a.m. I’m tired, Andy. Really tired.”

“I’m wiping down
your
bar.”

“I already wiped it down.”

“You didn’t do a very good job of it.”

“Sorry, Mr Perfect. Maybe you should take over the bar and I’ll piss about in the office all day.”

“I don’t piss about.” He sounded tired. Grumpy.

“Couldn’t this have waited until later?”

I heard him take a breath. “You didn’t say goodbye.”

“And?”

“Are you leaving or not?”

I draped an arm across my eyes to block out the light. “Is that what you want? Seriously?”

“Are you fucking off again, Faye? Just answer the question.”

I sighed. “I didn’t come by the office this evening because I didn’t want to see you. You don’t know when to stop with the mouth.”

“Neither do you.”

He had a fair point. “I’m not leaving. I’ll see you later.”

I went for the cancel button but he was speaking again before I pressed it. “Why did you leave Italy?”