Julie’s heart squeezed tight. Why would his grandmother say this? “I don’t understand.”
“Something happened when he was still a boy, oh Damian wouldn’t see it that way, would insist he was already a man. But he wasn’t. He was a boy becoming a man. And it changed everything. His parents loved each other, you see. Very much.”
It was hard to imagine Damian’s mother loving anyone very much. “That’s wonderful.”
“It was. It was until my son, my darling son destroyed himself, and any sort of kindness left in Alanna. The poor girl grew harder and harder by the day until now, I do believe she’s living stone. Seeing that scarred Damian’s view of love. He simply doesn’t think it’s worth the risk.”
“But it is,” Julie whispered. She could still remember the way her mother had held her father’s hand as he had slipped away. Peace and love had surrounded them like an unpenetratable shield. That memory was the only thing that had kept Julie’s hope alive in the harsh world.
Damian’s grandmother smiled sadly. “I know that my dear. My husband and I had a wonderful marriage. Oh, we weren’t soul mates but I never had a better friend. He died before Damian was born. So, the boy never saw another marriage in the family but his parents.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Julie asked flatly.
“Why do you imagine?”
“Lady Clare, you barely know me.”
“But I know Damian. Because of that, I know you’re different. You’re different than all the other women I’ve never met but have known existed. Still. . .”
Still, she was afraid that whatever Julie felt was doomed. That was it? “I don’t know what to say.”
“Then let’s walk. I find that best in any case.”
Julie clamped her mouth shut then followed the wolfhounds, and the dowager countess over the rough path, her red boots splashing in the puddles. She drank in the earthy air tinged with salt from the sea.
She wasn’t going to let Damina’s grandmother’s worries bother her. She and Damian had had a wonderful night. He’d been kind and gentle and the passion they’d shared had to have been unique. Damian would see that. It felt like with each day they passed that they were growing closer. Closer by leaps and bounds.
A smile pulled at her lips. It was all going to be fine. More than fine. She was in Ireland, staying at a beautiful castle, and sharing the bed of an completely gorgeous and sexy man. What more could she want?
After what had to have been another hour, and the sun coming up to hide behind the heavy clouds promising rain, they headed back towards the tall, thick yew and oak trees surrounding the castle.
Damian’s grandmother waved her on. “Not done yet here. The dogs need a bit more time. Join us tomorrow if you like.”
Julie watched them head back out towards the hills and Julie smiled. The dogs were lucky they could keep up with the old woman. She was as fit as a mountain goat.
As it was, Julie’s muscles were aching. She couldn’t wait for a bath and breakfast with Damian.
When she reached the steps to the castle, she lifted her gaze and spotted his mother. Immediately her stomach dropped. The sight of the woman was enough to send a chill through her which meant Lady Clare was a desperately unhappy person. Still, she forced a smile. “Have you seen Damian? I have some questions for him and—“
Lady Clare smiled. A tight, hard smile. “He’s gone.”
“Gone? “ Julie echoed. “To Galway?”
“No dear. Hong Kong, I think.”
Julie stared, uncomprehending.
“He’s always leaving. Did you think he would stay?” Lady Clare gave an exaggerated tsk. “Well, we all must cope with disappointment.”
“Disappointment and I are old friends,” Julie said tightly, refusing to give the mean old fish the satisfaction of seeing her pain. “Besides, Damian’s my boss.”
“Yes,” she agreed coolly. “And you’re an employee.”
“Yes.” Julie forced a smile to her lips. “Can you tell me where the library is and I need a wifi connection. I have some research to do about the instability of the Fitzgeralds.”
She marched up the steps heading into the house, leaving an open mouthed Lady Clare.
Damian’s grandmother had known. Without even seeing her grandson, she’d known that Damian wouldn’t behave the way Julie had hoped and that was brutal. Julie stopped inside the entryway, alone in the cool space. She closed her eyes. What a fool she was. Dreaming again. Well, it was about damned time she finally woke up.
J
ulie Doyle had choked down her very last starvation inducing diet shake. This time she meant it. She picked up the unwieldy cardboard box full of insanely expensive fat burning liquid and cursed. The thing barely fit in her arms and she used her knee to quickly balance the half full box.
Of course, it had been Derrick’s idea. She could still remember with a sick feeling in her stomach him whispering,
but baby just think how hot you’d be if you lost thirty pounds
. God, it was so hard not to hate herself for being such an idiot. Again. She grabbed her keys out of the dish by the entry with the tips of her fingers then hauled the front door open. She huffed for breath then managed to wedge herself through the opening and slid out into the hall. She should have done this before she got dressed up for the official
We Hate Derrick the Cheater
night her friends had arranged, but she just hadn’t been able to face the box and the fact she’d tried for three whole weeks to eat nothing but liquid. For him.
Truthfully, she hadn’t wanted to go out tonight. She’d have way preferred staying home and binge watching something on her laptop but Stella had been insistent. And Stella usually got what she wanted. Besides, a proper man hate was in order and so, she’d maneuvered herself into her one sparkly, slightly too tight, club dress, pulled on leggings to protect the world from her less than svelte thighs, and finally buckled her feet into shoes that might have doubled for stripper heels. Why designers thought women shouldn’t really be able to walk was beyond her, but she wanted to look as good as she could.
Down the hall, she balanced the box with her knee then pushed the elevator button several times. She really needed to move or one day she was going to die in an elevator accident. Though there was a certificate that said the thing was serviced last year she had her doubts. The green elevator door shuddered open and she stepped in, wincing at the strange odor like sweat and old curry that always seemed to hang out in the small depressing space.
As soon as the doors opened at ground level, she charged outside, feeling like she was walking the gauntlet with her contraband.
Icy wind bit through her thin leggings and cheap coat as she headed out into the winter night. God she wished she could afford a garage. Colorado winters were not great for high heels and jumping into a car and just heading out. Nope. First she’d have to haul out her snow brush and clean the car off.
But what with her student loan debt at a massive sixty-five thousand dollars and a personal loan at twenty thousand, she couldn’t exactly afford a place with a covered parking lot. She was lucky she had a reserved spot. She was even luckier she’d bought herself a Honda before her world had gone to hell a few years ago.
Going as fast as she dared in her heels, she focused on the dumpster, wishing she could fling Derrick into it instead. She let out a breath, hating that she had to think about him. How could she have thought he actually cared about her?
She’d just been one of many girls he kept on call for when he was bored and wanted to get lucky. She shook her head. She wasn’t going to think about it. She wasn’t going to think about that jaw dropping moment she’d run into one of his friends who called her the wrong name and then tried another
two
names before getting Julie. When she’d asked Derrick about it he hadn’t even tried to lie, just looked at her confused and replied,
hey baby I never said we were exclusive
.
Hey baby
was a phrase she was going to hate until she died.
When she got to the dumpster she realized the lid was down. Great. Just great. She stared at the box then at the massive black plastic dumpster lid. No way could she open it like this. Well, the faster she did it, the faster she’d get it over with. She plunked the box down, grabbed the lid and grimaced as she flung it back in the wind.
Just as she turned and bent to grab the box, her leg hit the side of the dumpster and her legging caught a rough metal edge.
Damn
!
She felt the fabric tear and cold air hit her exposed skin. Julie froze, a feeling of desperation washing over her. Why was she even trying to go out? The night was just going to be a disaster. This was a sign. It had to be. She hated clubs anyway. She always felt like a giant squishy cow next to all those skinny perfect girls.
It would be so much easier to just pick up a bottle of merlot and hide under her quilt.
Her phone dinged and she slipped it out from her pocket.
The text was from Stella and it was only two words.
You’re coming
.
Stella had sixth sense. Julie didn’t know how her friend did it, but somehow, she always knew when Julie was just about to chicken out on a social gathering.
She fired back.
Just leaving
.
Somehow, she’d get through the night. Maybe a bottle of vodka would do it. And cake. Surely they could get cake somewhere.
She picked up the box, heaved it into the dumpster, then wrangled the lid closed. Brushing her hands off, she gave a nod of satisfaction and went to her Honda, swept the powdery snow off, jumped in, and headed out to the freeway. Tonight, was the last night she was going to let herself feel like shit about a guy. And she was going to make Stella keep her to her word this time.
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