Dirty Crown: A Bad Boy Secret Baby Royal Romance (with BONUS book - Rebel Rockstar!) (18 page)

I
t might have been
my plan to come back to the palace to see the queen, but there’s no denying that I’m seriously freaked out about the whole thing.

After all, the last time that I was here, I was in a holding cell, and there’s a massive chance that the same might happen again.

But Edward needs this. He might not be able to see it, but I can. It’s plastered all over his face, and if I really do want to start again with him, then we absolutely need a clean plate.

What am I doing?

What was I thinking?

My mind spins, freaking out, asking all of the questions that I really should have considered before making this move, but it’s far too late now. What’s done is done.

I’m trying desperately to hold it together for Lily’s sake, but I’m trembling regardless. I hold onto her, wanting to remind myself that I need to stay strong for her, but my body betrays me.

“Are you okay, mummy?” She asks, glancing up at me.

“Are you scared to go back to the castle?”

“No,” I try desperately to reassure her. “Mummy is fine.”

“I’ll look after you,” she tells me, with concern in her expression.

“Me and daddy won’t let anything to happen to you, will we daddy?” But he’s barely paying any attention, he’s staring out of the window in a stunned silence.

He does nod, but I don’t think he really know what he’s agreeing to.

As we drive past the protestors, I duck down in the car, not wanting any of them to see me, but it doesn’t help much. It’s almost as if they were expecting us, which I imagine raises Edward’s suspicions that this is all some kind of public relations stunt.

“Faith! Oh my God, Faith it’s you! Faith!”

They start to yell out, and I feel my cheeks heat up in embarrassment. Don’t they realize that I’m just an ordinary person? I don’t know how to deal with the public, and how to cope with a media storm.

That just isn’t me at all – this is all because of the man that I fell in love with. Sure he’s worth it, but if it hadn't been for him, I would have been able to live a very normal, very quiet life.

This is all too much for me.

I suck in a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself down, before checking on my daughter.

“Are you okay Lily?” I whisper in her ear.

She nods frantically, but I can tell from her expression that she’s freaked out too.

“It’ll be okay, mummy will be with you the entire time.”

I just hope that’s a promise I can keep.

“Why are they all shouting at you mummy?” She asks, and my heart sinks.

How am I going to explain this one to her?

“They want me and your mummy to be married,” Edward finally steps in, grinning at her.

“That’s what we’re going to sort out now.”

“Really?” Lily squeals, turning her fear into excitement.

“Can I be a bridesmaid?”

“We’ll discuss all the details later,” I say quickly, not wanting to go too much into this.

It’s obviously something Edward has just said as spur of the moment, and although I’m sure we will end up married, I don’t want to get into a weird chat now – not with all that faces us.

“Come on, let’s just get this over with.”

We spot the queen almost the second that we step through the palace doors, and my heart goes wild as I watch her.

There’s something about her that actually looks guilty for all that she’s done. Is this serious after all? Is this much more than just a PR trick?

I don’t know why, but from looking at her I start to feel like it might be.

“Edward?” She rushes forward to hug her son, showing the first genuine burst of emotion that I’ve ever seen from her, but he brushes her aside.

“Mum, just say what you need to say.” He tells her coldly, which makes me flinch.

I don’t know why, but it feels weird to be harsh to her when she’s standing there with her metaphorical arms wide open.

“I want to say that I’m sorry,” she starts, looking at all three of us in turn.

“I should never have put you all through such terrible things, and I really shouldn’t have involved myself in your personal life at all.”

She shakes her head, looking like she’s about to cry. It’s then I spot the reddened eyes – she’s already broken down over this.

“Kristine was a huge mistake – I’ve sent her away and already cut off all contact with her family. She will not be bothering either of you again, especially after I told her parents what she did.”

“Okay,” Edward seems to accept her apology for this.

“I’m glad that she’s gone, she could never have been my wife.”

“I know,” the queen replies.

“Especially after what she did. I’m sorry Faith,” she turns to face me with that sadness on her face.

“That should never have happened.” She breathes deeply, steeling herself for what she’s about to say next.

“I also did something else without your consent, for which I feel guilty. But I just had to know the truth. I took a swap from Lily…”

“That cotton bud?” My daughter surprises me by speaking out.

I don’t look at her though, I watch the way that the queen’s expression softens as she speaks. She’s falling for Lily, I can just see it.

“Yes, and I took a paternity test…”

“Mum,” Edward interrupts sharply.

“How can you do that without our permission?”

“It’s okay,” I surprise myself by saying.

“You needed to know the truth, I understand.” And weirdly I do.

She never really knew me, and I’m sure that there are women out there who would try to trick a rich man out of money. I’m actually glad that she now knows I’m not like that. She has the truth, and now she can start to view me in a more positive light.

“Lily is your daughter,” she tells Edward what we both already know.

“My granddaughter and I would love to get to know my family a little better.”

I nod cautiously, but Edward remains silent. What does this mean for our future?

Will we now stay in England, or will we continue with our plans to go to America?

“I know that this is all a lot for you to take in and I think that I can maybe explain my behavior a little better by telling you about my own past. Will you consider coming through to the sitting room, so we can all get a little more comfortable?”

“Are there any toys in there?” Again, my daughter takes the sting out of the situation by instantly causing us all to relax.

What is it about her that is able to calm down anything before it gets too fraught?

“I will get some toys brought through with you,” she indicates towards one of the handmaidens who rushes off to grab some things – presumably from the room that Lily was sleeping in – and we all make our way into the sitting room.

I perch awkwardly on the edge of one of the chairs, unable to relax or feel anything like at ease. I have never had a good experience around the queen, and since they keep getting worse and worse, it’s hard to imagine that this is going to go any better.

My heart and my instincts are telling me that this time will be different, and that it’s okay to hear her out, but the rational side of me still isn’t totally convinced that this all isn’t a trap.

A woman brings us around cups of tea and biscuits, and I hold them in my hands, not quite ready to take anything in just yet.

“Okay,” the queen starts, flickering her eyes between us both.

Lily is down in the floor, seemingly engrossed in some game, but I can tell that her ears are pricked up and that she’s listening too, intrigued to know why we have all been treated so appallingly.

I can hardly blame her.

“There is something that you don’t know about me, that
no one
knows about me these days. I’m not… inherently royal.”

“I wasn’t born into nobility, my mother married a prince, and I really suffered because of it for most of my life. Of course, people don’t mention it anymore because I’ve ensured that it’s been kept out of the media at all costs. But before then it was horrible – a constant, never ending battle.”

She sighs deeply, looking incredibly sad and I cannot stop my heart from going out to her. This is clearly something that she’s kept deep inside for a very long time, something that affected her very profoundly.

“I suppose I just wanted to protect Edward from that. You know what it’s like, you never want your children to feel pain,” she looks at me, appealing to the mother in me and I nod agreeably.

She’s right on that count – I would do anything to protect Lily.

“I just didn’t want you to go on to have a family that wasn’t directly nobility because I was afraid that the same would happen to you and your child. But after today, I can see that I was wrong. We’re living in a different time now, one where people are more accepting. So I need to say that I’m sorry.”

“Mum, I…” Edward starts, before pausing thoughtfully for a second, really thinking her words through.

“I guess I understand. It’s all a little crazy for me, but you are my mum and I do think that you have my best interests at heart. I… I suppose that you have my forgiveness, and I just hope that we can move past this in a more adult fashion in future.”

But the queen is no longer looking at him, no longer listening to his words. Her face is trained solely on me, and she has a very guilty expression on her face.

“Faith, my apology is of course more to you. I have done terrible things to you, and put you through so much. I can see now that I didn’t ever give you a chance, I made some preconceived notions and stuck to them.”

“You adore my son, that much is obvious, and if I’d really looked I would have seen that right away. You didn’t deserve to be sent away on your honeymoon, nor to raise your child alone. I also should never have thrown you in the holding cell – I can truly say that for the first time in my life, I am disgusted with my behavior. I just hope that you can forgive me.”

My heart pounds nosily, this is it, the moment where I either say my peace and segregate things forever, or where I open my heart and give her just one more chance.

“I cannot forgive you fully just yet,” I answer honestly, making half a decision, but one that I feel is right.

“But I am willing to give us another try. I’m sure that with time, old wounds will heal and we will be able to start again.”

There’s no point in harboring a grudge, I already have enough pain with my own family. If we really want to be together, to make this work, we should have some people on our side. It doesn’t truly need to be us verses the world, not when there are other choices out there.

Plus I really do feel like the queen has learnt her lesson and that she will handle things in a much better way next time. I just hope that my instincts are right!

“Thank you,” she gasps at me, sending me a grateful smile.

“I know that’s much more than I deserve, so I am truly appreciative. In fact, I would truly love it if you were to become an official member of our family. I would love it if we could have an official royal wedding – as big or small as you choose of course. I don’t want to interfere. I just… I think it’ll be nice to have things solidified once and for all.”

I cannot believe what she’s saying! What a turn of events – I have gone from being hated, to being asked to marry her son. I don’t even know what to think about it all.

I glance over to Edward in shock, but he isn’t looking back at me. In fact, he’s standing up and walking towards me, and I watch as a strange, unreadable expression comes over his face.

Then he drops to one knee, and I cry out in a stunned happiness. Is this really happening? Legitimately this time? Had he planned this? From the conversation in the car, it certainly seems that way.

“I know that we’ve been here before,” he starts, with shining eyes.

“But this time we’re wiser, smarter, we’ve been together for so much longer and we still don’t want to be apart. Before, we barely knew one another but we felt it right to marry, whereas this time we know each other inside and out and we still feel just as strongly.”

I have to gulp down all of the emotion that races through my body. This is too much! I don’t even know what to think.

“So will you please do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

He pulls a ring from his pocket – one that is different from last time, one that I’ve seen only in photographs before.

The official royal ring.

“Oh my God,” I gasp, and I suddenly feel a tugging at my side.

Lily has come to join me to await my answer. I know how badly she wants this, how much she wants to be a family, and I want the same, so there really is no other answer.

“Yes, of course. A thousand times yes.”

He picks me up and spins me around in the air while we all celebrate. The queen hugs Lily, and then they both cuddle us in turn.

Tears stream down my face as I realize that this is the happiest I’ve ever been. Now nothing else matters. I don’t mind where we live, what we do with our lives, what struggles come across us again.

This is it.

We’re together this time, forever.

“Does this mean that I’ll be a princess for real?” Lily asks, tackling the important subjects first.

“And that I’ll live here in the castle? Will I go to school in England? I hope so, because I like it here. What bridesmaid dress will I have...”

“Just calm down for a second,” I tell my daughter, holding her close to me.

“You can help with all of the wedding planning, and the rest of it we will decide afterwards.”

“I understand that you need to do what is right for you,” the queen interjects, looking a little guilty.

“But I honestly would love it if you decided to stay here. You will be a joy to have around the place… especially Lily. This boring palace needs the lively presence of a child.”

I look at Edward, who shrugs his shoulder at me, leaving the decision in my hands. I know that if I stay, I’ll be giving up my life back at home and I’ll also be taking on a whole bunch of responsibilities that I’m really not sure I’m ready for, but I also know that it’ll be the best thing for Lily.

Not only will she be able to have a better start and a lot more chances, she’ll have an extended family too – the one thing that she’s always missed out in.