Dirty Little Secret: New Adult Rock Star Romance (Not Exactly A Stepbrother Romance Book 1) (8 page)

I turned to face him. He didn’t back away. I didn’t touch him, letting the anticipation thicken between us. His breath stuttered inside that glorious chest, nipple rings rising and falling. He wanted this. He wanted me, no matter how much I fucked everything up. That was all the power I needed. His eyes fluttered shut when I pushed his hair away from his ear.

“Get on your knees.” I whispered.

A smile that blazed like the sunrise spread across Bret’s face before he got on all fours on my bed. “You don’t realize how long you’ve had me there, Gemma.”

I moved behind him, so he couldn’t see me swoon. If he had any idea what kind of effect he had on me… I’d lose all control. I wasn’t a complete bitch. And for that comment, he totally deserved a hand job.

His cock was hard, and he moaned, pushing back against me as I pumped. I loved his piercings. I didn’t know how I’d ever be with someone who didn’t have them. It was so strange, thinking of the next guy I’d fuck while I was happily in bed with this one. Reality check—this wasn’t forever, and I had to complete my mission.

“Gemma,” Bret purred when I squeezed baby oil on his backside, “are you going to do
what I think you’re going to do?”

“Yep.” I took a deep breath, still working his cock. “I’m going to use the stairs like a slip-and-slide and push you down them on your ass.”

He burst out laughing. “Not what I had in mind.”

“What did you have in mind?” I asked, turning on the vibrator. I couldn’t hear his breath, but his shoulders tensed, then fell in surrender. If only I’d gone for his ass sooner, I’d be a millionaire already.

I started with his nipples, because I knew he didn’t expect it. I knew I wouldn’t be able to make him come by just using the vibrator on them, but he groaned as I pulled on his rings and circled slowly. He writhed against my clothed body, pushing his ass into my hips, the tremors from his body rumbling low in my pussy.

Before I lost my nerve, I trailed the vibrator down to his sack, jerking him off while holding the throbbing dildo to his balls. He trembled at the sensation, but I pushed him down with my body, continuing to tease his cock while I had his balls at my mercy. It didn’t take him long to come, and I milked him until he was left panting and shaking.

I smiled. I loved having such complete control of his body. He’d totally succumbed to sensation, more primal than human. Completely in the moment. I wasn’t sure if he’d meant to teach me a lesson or not, but he did.

“Shit,” he muttered through clenched teeth.

I dragged the vibrator ever so slowly back along his perineum, and then doubled back up, to tickle his balls.

When I hit him, Bret jumped, still totally spent. “Please, Gemma, just do it.”

“What was that?” No way. He was going to beg me to fuck his ass.

“Just do it,” he grunted.

“No.” I pressed the vibrator against his body. “Before that.”

“Please.”

“What do you want me to do?” I asked. My heart was pounding.

Bret pumped his cock. I didn’t know if he was able to get it up so soon, but I was about to find out about his super powers.

“Fuck me with it.” He could barely speak. Sweat ran down his spine. “Use more lube.”

My hands trembled when I picked up the baby oil, squirted it all over his ass and back, and got some where I actually intended. I trailed my finger down the crack of his ass and met the vibrator in the middle. I circled his rim, a moan rumbling through his entire body. I wished I could see his face. That was the only thing missing from this.

Dropping the vibrator, I pushed a finger inside him. He was tight, and truth be told, I was scared. Not only did I not want to hurt him, but I also hadn’t been prepared for the way he reacted to the vibrator.

Bret panted. “Move it back and forth. Fuck me with it.”

I took a deep breath and pushed against his tight muscles. My finger was all the way in, and I’d forgotten all my research. I was seriously freaking out. I couldn’t do this. I pulled out and hugged myself.

Bret rolled over, his face slick with sweat. “Gemma.” He pushed my hair away from my face. “You’re crying.”

I wiped under my eyes—with my other hand, of course
.
“I guess I am.” I attempted a wobbly smile. He looked like he wanted to hug me, and I was so glad he didn’t. “That was pretty intense.”

“It was fucking awesome.” Bret’s honesty would always catch me off guard. “What happened?”

I loved sex, but I’d never been with a man so open about everything. “I didn’t want to hurt you.” I looked away from him.

“You can’t. Wait a minute. You’ve never done this before, have you?” He tugged on my hair. No place to hide. I shook my head. “Who the hell have you been having sex with?” he asked.

I laughed. “A bunch of stressed-out pre-med students and some drunk dudes I bring home from the bar.”

“Gemma, don’t take this the wrong way, but you have terrible taste in men. Present company excluded, of course.” He grinned. “Lie down, and remind me to never to become a doctor.”

“Oh yeah, because it happens just like that.” I rolled my eyes, but I stretched out. It felt good. I could have gone to sleep right then, but I had a feeling what Bret was going to do. It certainly didn’t make me relax.

“Are you okay?” he asked. “Do you want to talk about this?”

“I wouldn’t know where to begin.”

“Do you want to explore this? Is it something that interests you?” Bret ran his fingers lightly along the side of my hip. “Because done right, it’s amazing. I don’t want you to be scared, Gemma. A woman like you shouldn’t be scared of anything.”

“I loved the way your body reacted to the vibrator,” I said. This is what it felt like to stand on thin ice, to hear the gunshot crack in the distance, and to know that I was going to drown.

“My body reacted to you.” Bret said, his soft green eyes were all I could see. “But I liked what you were doing a lot.”

“That’s it.” I was glad he said it, because I couldn’t find the right words. “This isn’t just sex. It’s more than that.”

“Gemma, it was never just sex.”

My head spun.

“The sex makes it better,” he said. “It gives us an even playing field. A language we can actually speak in.”

“You’re smart.” I sat up. We shouldn’t be touching when we talked like this, so raw and vulnerable. “Maybe you should reconsider the doctor thing.”

He laughed. “No way. I’d rather play my guitar and be poor for the rest of my life, than sell my soul and curse the fucking sunrise. I’m good with people. I can use that anywhere.”

“And I’m not. Now you know why I work with animals.”

“That’s not true.” His expression changed to completely serious. “You’re just afraid to put yourself out there. I don’t know how we’re going to remember this summer, but if anything, I hope I can break you of that, Gemma. I’ve had a good time getting to know you. I can’t be the only one.”

Mind. Officially. Blown.

Bret slapped my thigh. “So do you want me to show you how to fuck someone up the ass or what?”

“Why not?” It didn’t seem so scary anymore. “But I want something else, too.”

He was off the bed, his hand on the doorknob. “Two things in one night? Are we updating the agreement?”

“No. It was your idea. I want to go swimming afterwards.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “Where are you going?”

“Naked swimming?” He looked like I told him I’d let him have the money.

I nodded.

“Deal. I’m getting toys. You don’t have the right stuff for what we need.”

Bret hadn’t put his clothes back on when he left the room. Let him deal with my mom if he got caught. My heart thumped the whole time he was gone. Not in a bad way for once; I was fucking excited. If the thought of getting his ass fucked made Bret react like that, I wanted in.

A few minutes later, he returned. He had two purple nubs in his hand. Butt plugs. “I got small ones, so you can get used to them. If you like them, we can use bigger ones, but you need to be careful and stretch the first time, so you don’t get hurt. I’ll put yours in first, so you know what it feels like. Then you won’t be so nervous about putting mine in.”

I almost asked him
then what
, but I’d find out.

Bret hooked his thumbs in the waistband of my pajama bottoms, and I lifted my hips, letting him strip me. He rolled up my shirt, exposing my boobs. I knew he wouldn’t forget about them. He liked them way too much.

“Play with your nipples,” he said softly. “I don’t think I’ve ever watched you do it.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. This wasn’t what I anticipated at all. Bret took his cock in his hand, slowly pumping his shaft. I’d rather be doing that instead, but I circled a finger around my nipple. His gaze was glued to the motion, but it took a couple rotations for any results. It felt good. Not as good as when he did it, but my body melted into the mattress, my legs fell open, and I relaxed.

Bret lifted my legs and rested them against his chest. He’d put on a condom and ran his cock the length of my slit. That always felt good. I moaned but didn’t move. My body was still heavy.

He picked up the bottle of baby oil and slathered my slit with it. I gasped. This was what I expected him to do when he told me to lie down, but he caught me totally off guard. He guided the oil along my pussy and reached down to my ass, making sure to work it in good. Another drizzle, like he was topping a desert.

“This is how to use a butt plug, Gemma.” He took hold of his cock once more. With his other hand, he circled the rim of my ass. I gasped when he slipped the silicone plug inside. “Make sure it’s well lubricated, and start slow. You’re tight as hell, so you’re going to feel it.”

I bit my lip so hard, I was afraid I’d put my teeth through it.

“Relax,” he said. “Do you want to do this?”

I nodded, attempting to unclench my cheeks.

“It hurts a little, but it feels good too. Doesn’t it?” He slid
in deeper, slowly, then started moving back and forth. The sensation was something I’d never felt before. My eyes flew open, and I had to remind myself to breathe.

All I could do was make a noise I hoped sounded like approval.

“Do you think you can put in mine? If you can reach the prostate, it’s fucking heaven on earth. But girls are sensitive there too. Telling you is bullshit though. Let me show you. Remember your safe word?”

“Of course.”

“If it’s too much, tell me about the turtle, and I’ll stop.”

I’d never felt pressure like this, but still so empty. I was afraid to move, I let him do all the work. It didn’t hurt anymore. Not really. It was the kind of pain that made you crave more. Like someone would describe a tattoo or piercing. I wondered how his piercing would feel inside me like this.

Bret lay down beside me on his stomach. He’d left the plug in my ass. “I’m ready, Gemma.”

“I’m afraid to move.” I laughed.

“That’s why I got the soft ones. It won’t hurt you.” I moved a little. It felt foreign. Still that strange pleasure-pain sensation. I rolled over, moving my ass carefully, and picked up the baby oil. After drenching Bret’s ass, I massaged his cheeks hard. He buried his head in his arms and moaned, opening his legs so I could get full access. I poured more oil on the plug, circled his opening, and then pushed it in. His head shot up, hair spreading across his tattoos. So hot. I pushed it in and out a couple times, then brought it to a rest.

“Perfect.” Bret slid up to his knees in a liquid motion. The way he moved sometimes, I wasn’t sure he had bones. It was so fluid and sensual.

It had been a long time since I’d watched Bret play guitar, but I had to wonder what his stage moves were like now. So many other guitarists played like they were making love to their instrument. Shit. I understood why he had so many groupies.

“It feels amazing. Lie down. On your back.” He placed my legs on his shoulders, once I settled.

He picked up the vibrator, turned it back on, and pressed it against my clit. I had absolutely no control over the sound that came out of me. He made long, lazy circles, and my body pulsed. The vibrator slipped inside me the same time he pulled on the plug. The plug in my ass and the dildo in my cunt made me blind with pleasure.

Bret slowed his thrusts as I came down from the orgasm. The pressure from being so full spurred a different release than I’d ever had before. The climax built to a higher peak and crashed harder. He slid everything out of me and let me catch my breath. “Did you like that?” he asked.

Like?
“That was insane.”

“Good. Now you know how it feels, and that it’s nothing to be scared of. We can work up to more, if you want. I like it when you keep me on my toes, Gemma.” He rose on his knees and pulled his plug out. “Let’s go swimming.”

Days like today really made me miss Dad. Even though the party was a good idea, it was going to be harder than I anticipated. Dad loved Independence Day. He considered it his day. He’d grown up as a street kid in Providence when the city was in rough shape, broke away from all the bullshit, and built his own empire. Now we celebrated without him, in the castle he bought for his family in Newport.

It didn’t seem fair.

I wasn’t ready for it. All the questions the relatives asked over email would be live and in person today. I wouldn’t have the chance to walk away, break down, and then answer them once I composed myself. I had to plaster a fake fucking smile on my face and tell them how awesome I was doing. Lies. All lies.

Bret and I were still fire and gasoline outside the bedroom, and pure toxic heat behind closed doors. His presence added a layer of difficulty to the day. We had to play nice in front of everyone. We always sucked at it, and now I had the added complication that I was falling for the bastard.

Who knew a little sodomy would have that effect on a girl? I guess I was a romantic after all.

“You live in a mansion,” Nikki exclaimed, mouth hanging open as she entered the main foyer. She’d brought a fruit salad in a hollowed out watermelon, so at least Aunt Donna would love her. “I knew you had money, but I had no idea it was this much.”

“I don’t have any money. My family does, but I don’t.” This was the other thing I hated. Having people come over and seeing the dollar signs pulsing in their eyes, like with cartoon characters.

“Come on, Gemma. Everyone in Rhode Island knows Starling Realty. And your brother’s, like, famous.” She giggled and bit her lip, looking around. “Sorry. I’m excited. Is he here?”

“Stepbrother,” I reminded her, taking the fruit salad. The plastic covering flapped in the breeze as I walked. “Follow me. I’ll bring you to the pool. He’s probably out there.” I hadn’t been back to the pool since the other night. The sex itself had been tame in comparison to what we’d done in the bedroom, but being together outside, where anyone and especially my mother could catch us… My heart raced every time I thought of it.

Nikki squealed. I thought I was going to puke. She gushed over the house as we walked through it. I murmured thank yous. I couldn’t take credit for any of it; I was squatting in my parents’ house.

Aunt Donna was inspecting the contents of the refrigerator as Nikki and I passed through the kitchen. She was rattling off the virtues of eating like a caveman to Bret, who looked like he was about to start negotiating with the terrorists for his freedom. He was on point in the corner and had no escape.

“Have you tried Cross-Fit, Bret?” Donna asked. I turned around to roll my eyes at Nikki, but she hummed like she’d taken her first bite of her favorite meal.

“Isn’t that like a cult?” His eyes brightened when he saw me, and he winked when Donna got flustered. “I’ve heard it isn’t good for your body. Don’t people die doing Cross-Fit?”

“People die from obesity-related diseases and complications from diabetes.” Donna fluttered her arms. “We weren’t meant to eat chemicals and sit still.”

Great. Wait until she gets a load of me in my bikini.

Bret shrugged, seeing his opportunity to escape. “I’m sticking to the live fast, die pretty philosophy. It’s good for my career.” He maneuvered past her before she had a chance to respond, making a bee line for me and Nikki and flipping on his rock star, cocky bastard veneer. He popped a piece of melon in his mouth from the fruit salad I held. “Are you Nikki?” he asked.

She smiled brightly and batted fuck-me eyes at him. “I am.” She practically vibrated with excitement. “I love Enemy Impact. You guys are amazing.”

“Thanks. We’re working on new music. Maybe you can check it out.” That easy smile he’d used on every single one of my girlfriends since the dawn of time spread over his face. I knew it well. One side of his mouth went up, and it was hard to tell if he was going to commit to it, until it took over his entire being. The heat of it caused everything in its radius to melt.

“Oh, I’d love that.” Nikki gasped.

Jealousy threatened to seep out of every pore. I’d kill him if he put the moves on Nikki today. All I’d be able to do was sit and watch. Unless I hooked up with one of his friends.

No. That wasn’t how I was going to win this. I’d plaster a smile on my face for the entire party and break him later. In private.

“Gemma, maybe we can go to their next show. Make it a road trip. I bet we have a hookup for backstage passes.” Nikki took a step toward Bret and fluttered her eyelashes.

“That would be fun.” It would be an absolute nightmare. I could never handle Bret in action. But now I’d consider every girl who approached him competition and lose my mind for sure. This couldn’t go on indefinitely. Not unless I wanted conjugal visits in the loony bin.

“Whatever you ladies want.” Bret stepped past us. “I’m going outside. Matt should be here any minute.”

I did my best to keep my face neutral when he pinched my ass.

“He’s even more gorgeous in person,” Nikki gushed, pulling me against her body. She seemed completely oblivious to what Bret just did, and I let out the breath I’d been holding. “How do you stand it?” she asked.

By fucking his brains out.
“He’s my stepbrother.” I made a face like I thought the idea was disgusting. Problem was, I actually did. “Let’s go outside. Do you need to change into your suit?”

“Nope, got it on under my clothes.” Nikki showed me the strap of her suit. “Who’s Matt? I wonder if he’s as hot as Bret. Sorry, I’m fangirling. It may get better after a drink or two. Or maybe I’ll jump his bones.”

This was going to be a long day. The pool area was already packed with aunts, uncles, and screeching cousins. My mom was in her usual spot, under an umbrella. We’d spent last night making rum punch, so pretty soon none of us would be feeling any pain. I headed straight for the pitcher and filled a cup for Nikki.

Bret’s friend Matt showed up a few minutes later, a paper bag with the top of a liquor bottle sticking out nestled under his arm. I considered suggesting pouring whatever he had into Nikki’s fruit salad, and we could have our own little party, but we had to behave a little bit.

“Holy crap. Would you look at him? Girl, you throw the best parties.” Nikki nudged me as she made a show of wriggling out of her tank top and shorts. She looked great in her suit, her flat stomach accentuated by a belly-button piercing.

I was so fixed on how much better she looked than I did, I almost forgot to check out Matt, which would’ve been a shame. His dark hair was pushed up in a faux hawk. He’d stretched his ear lobes with plugs, and he had his bottom lip pierced in each corner. Oh, I liked that. Like little fangs. Broad shoulders were covered in tattoos and the gaze of every female in the backyard. I watched him as he set down the bag and peeled off his tank top. Muscles rippled down his abdomen.

“You should totally try to hook up with him.”

Watching Matt, I’d forgotten all about Nikki. “He’ll be more into you.” He caught her eye and smiled at her. I wasn’t sure he noticed me at all. It was actually better this way.

“Gemma, you take Matt. Then we can double date.” Nikki nudged me. “Take off the cover up, and let’s get in the pool.”

Mom glared at me as I stepped in the pool. Guess she hadn’t had enough rum to get over my bikini. I hadn’t had enough to not feel self-conscious about it.

Bret trained his gaze on both of us, as we stood on the stairs. I hoped everyone around us would think he stared at Nikki, even though I knew better. At this point, I could practically read his thoughts from the look on his face. I needed to get in the water soon. I was already soaking wet.

“Hey Gemma.” My uncle Jerry intercepted us as we stepped into the pool. “You’re all grown up.”

Something about the way he said it was super creepy. Nikki’s bikini bottom was cut dangerously low, and his gaze roamed to all the wrong places. I hoped he was just drunk and being stupid. “Nice to see you, Jerry.”

“I missed seeing you.” His words slurred. We could all forget about this after the party. “When you were away at—”

“Hey.” Bret intercepted, slapping Uncle Jerry a little too hard on the shoulder, as he and Matt joined us on the stairs. “This is my friend Matt.”

Uncle Jerry stumbled away, and Matt held my hand a little too long when he said hello. I was terrified Bret told him what we’d been doing. The way he slid his gaze up and down my body was like he knew something was up. “Nice to meet you, Gemma,” he said.

“Are you in a band, too?” Nikki asked. “I love musicians.” She went from future doctor to fangirl within three paces of anyone who could read music.

“Yeah. I play drums in a punk band.” That explained the arms. And the abs. His rhythm would be amazing. Nikki needed to go for this.

“Covers or originals?” I asked. Bret taught me early to be a band snob. He always hated bands that played all covers. Thought they were posers for making money off other people’s songs.

“Originals.” No surprise there. Bret was many things, but he would never have a friend who played in a cover band.

“Maybe we can go see you guys sometime,” I said. Nikki grinned widely at the suggestion, and I went on. “I bet Bret wouldn’t mind coming to the show, too?” This was so weird. I wasn’t sure if I should be flirting or not. We’d never been out in the wild since we started our arrangement. Normally, I’d put my arm around the guy I was banging, but I couldn’t do that unless I wanted every one of my relatives to explode.

“We’re actually trying to get them on our label,” Bret said. “They’re good. I didn’t think you were into the heavy stuff, Gem.”

Ah, so I was
Gem
today. “You have no idea what I’m into.”

If anyone caught the look he shot me, we were busted for sure. It left no questions. A searing glare that made everything inside me pulse.

Matt cleared his throat. “The only shows we have scheduled right now are in New York.” His gaze shifted between the three of us, uncomfortable. “So unless you want to take a road trip…”

“That would be amazing.” Nikki grabbed my arm. “Gemma, let’s think about it.”

“Okay.” Nikki and I weren’t that close, and I could barely afford to see a band in town. “Let us know when you’re playing, and I’ll see what I can do.”

“I think it would be fun, the four of us in the city.” Damn. This girl was forward. She met the guys five minutes ago, and she was already making tour plans for both of their bands. “Don’t you think, Gemma?”

“What’s the name of your band?” I asked Matt. Nikki needed to back this way up. Even though I was all for her and Matt getting together, if she had another rum punch, she’d be humping legs. I needed to get her to slow down. My mom was technically her boss, and I didn’t want her to pull an Uncle Jerry and do something she didn’t mean. Rum was a nasty playmate. I’d learned that the hard way.

“Raging Bullhead.” Matt brightened now that we steered back into safe territory. “Hoping to get some gigs lined up with Enemy Impact next summer. That would be epic.”

One of my little cousins crashed into my legs. “We’re going to play pool volleyball,” she said. “Girls against boys.”

“Sounds fun,” Nikki cooed, those eyelashes fluttering like butterfly wings at the guys. “I’m in.”

Matt looked out at the side of the pool my uncles and boy cousins populated, and then back to Bret. “What do you say, man?”

“I’m totally in.” That one-sided smirk spread over his face. “You ladies are going down.”

Nikki made a noise that sounded like a hum and waded over to the girls’ side.

Bret grabbed my arm before I had a chance to follow her. “Uncle Jerry’s been staring at your tits since you came out here.”

“No, he hasn’t. You are a vile human being.” I pulled away. He had no idea what Jerry had said to me. Admitting to it gave it power, and I wanted it to go away.

“You wait.” He splashed me as he walked away. “Some things can’t be unseen.”

The guys were up to something. Most of my aunts weren’t bloodthirsty competitors, and the boys were older than the girls. The game was lopsided; that was for sure. Nikki was pretty enthusiastic, picking up slack for the two little ones, who were obsessed with her belly button ring. Every time Bret and—dear God, Uncle Jerry—got the ball, they slammed it in my direction. I refused to go down without a fight. I wasn’t afraid to get wet and go for it, even though I had to adjust my top several times underwater.

We got our asses kicked, fair and square. Lunch was ready, and Nikki sat next to Matt, talking about music as she ate.

Bret walked beside me, bumping into me as we got in line for food. “Meet me upstairs after lunch.”