Dirty Money (Bad Money #2) (4 page)

The world exploded around him, a long cry coming from him as she took complete ownership of their sex and left him locked into place above her. He closed his eyes and collapsed on top of her, his teeth pressed deeply into his lip to keep himself from telling her how much he needed her. He had been fighting himself for so long where she was concerned, but now wasn't the time.

Moving up on his forearms, he leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. "You okay now? Better?"

"A little." Her panting was beyond sexy.

"You need more?" He pressed his hips forward, his cock always ready for more of her.

She moaned softly and closed her eyes as he watched her in awed silence. Would she remember this tomorrow? Would it break her heart as well? He knew she was going to be destroyed by everything around her if they weren't careful. She was at the edge of fading into nothingness when he found her years ago. Marcus would never let that happen again - no matter what it meant that he had to do.

She opened her eyes and slid her arms around his torso, pulling him in closer. He went with her movements, reaching up only to brush the sweaty hair from her face. Her next question left him in shock.

"Do you love me?"

There was no time to hesitate. He released himself to the truth that threatened to break him.

"With all of my heart. I just don't deserve you. No one does."

"I know. I'm a horrible person."

"Hush, woman. No one will ever be good enough for you, least of all me."

He kissed her forehead before starting to fuck her again. It would be a long night, but he would take her over and over and over again. He would make sure that she was spent, limp and sated before allowing himself rest.

Marcus resigned himself to letting a piece of his heart and soul die that night. He was going to stay with her, wake up with her in the morning and make sure she was all right. He had broken all their rules tonight, but she wouldn't remember.

He just wasn't sure he would survive the pain of needing it again, of needing her again like this.

Nothing good would come of it and yet he couldn't leave her - wouldn't leave her - ever.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Jon

Jon woke the next morning with very little memory of the events of the night before. He remembered going into the bar and reading through Kate's file, but the rest was fuzzy. He got out of bed and walked to the kitchen, still fully clothed in his jeans and t-shirt from the night before. He still had on his damn shoes. The file sat on the table, a note from Marcus on the top of it.

Jon,

Not cool that you have this file, you fucker. I'll work on getting you out, but it will take time. We're going to Victor's tonight and you're going with us. After that... stay away from Kate. You've done enough.

Marcus

"Shit," he swore under his breath before walking to the coffee pot. The last person in the world he would want to know that he had the file on Kate was Marcus. Why hadn't he thought of that before he invited the thug to join him? Namely because the liquor lied to him as it always did.

The file was fucked up anyway. It had been tampered with, but who would have access to do that? Seth?

It had to be Seth. Victor wouldn't have had a way to get a hold of it and if Seth needed to push his plan forward, he could do it by forcing Kate to the fire. That information on her must be damning. Who had she almost killed? How was she stopped, or did she stop herself?

His brother's funeral was at eleven. Eating didn't sound like the right thing to do. Enjoying anything seemed like an affront to his responsibility to bring Adam back. It was his fucking fault in the first place that his brother went into a dark alley and sought release. If only he had been able to handle his father's death better. If violence and sex hadn't been part of the resolve then Adam would still be there. Jon had been a coward, an angry jerk with no maturity at all to work through his father's death. Leaving Adam alone in the midst of their loss with nothing more than his non-responsive mother was his greatest regret in life.

Jon ran his fingers through his hair and let out a shaky breath, swallowing the hot lump in his throat. He could spend the afternoon after the funeral beating himself up for all he had done to cause his brother’s death.

"Just add that to the list of my transgressions." He poured a cup of coffee as his thoughts shifted to Kate. He hadn't called her in a week and had ignored the texts and calls she had sent during the first day. "Coward."

Indecision tore at him about what to do where she was concerned. He wanted to fall madly in love with her and almost seemed to be at the precipice of it. She was everything he could imagine wanting and so much more. The way she carried herself, the strength that she exuded was as much her as the soft docile fear she felt in the bedroom with him. His body roared to life at the remembrance of making love to her. Why hadn't he taken her again before shoving her away?

She deserved better and he knew it.

Marcus wasn't "better" though. He needed to at least talk to her before he walked out of the situation completely. He would heal over the loss of her eventually and she would certainly be fine without him. Victor was the most likely candidate to take her and sweep her off her feet. As much as Jon hated the thought of anyone with her, it was inevitable.

Seeing her at Victor's tonight was likely to kill him, but he would just remain professional. Surely she wouldn't be at the funeral. She was a suspect in Adam's murder and though acquitted, she still had her name slung all over the records.

Some part of him begged God silently to have her there. He almost wanted to punish himself with what could have been.

"It still could be, you dumb ass." He took a long drink of his coffee and walked into his bedroom just as his phone began to ring. He walked to it and picked it up to an unknown caller. He usually wouldn't answer it, but something nagged at him to do it. Ever since ignoring Kate when she was in need and almost having her die changed him. He wouldn't make that mistake again with anyone.

"Peterson."

"Jon. This is Victor Parence."

A cold chill ran through him. The last person he ever wanted to see or hear from again was the bastard on the phone. Not only had he been the one to call the hit out on Adam, but he had taken Jon's mother. The older woman hadn't suffered seeing that they drugged her and knocked her out, but Jon was well aware of all that could have happened.

"What do you want?"

"That's an awful way to address your employer."

"I don't work for you."

Victor laughed, the sound grating across Jon's nerves. Could he really tuck tail and run, leaving Marcus and Kate to deal with this maniacal fucker? No.

"You do for now, but soon I believe you'll be back to being the good cop you've always been. You've always been a great example to everyone, including young Adam, right Jon?"

"Fuck you."

"Ahhh... I hit a nerve, I see. Well, I assume you'll be with Marcus and Katelyn tonight when we meet."

"It's Kate and yes. I'll be there."

"Good. So here's the reason for my call. I've decided to release you from the upcoming hell we're going to reign over the underbelly of this city, but I need you to do two things for me."

"I'm not doing anything for you."

"Oh, I think you will. You enjoy being one of the good guys. It almost feels icky to think about you joining forces with evil and lying to everyone around you. Once a man makes a decision to be bad it's so hard to overturn it and walk back into the light. If you've ever done so, then you know exactly what I'm referring to. To have to slip back into the shadows would make you into an even bigger monster. See, I know. My story is similar to yours. You won't survive in the darkness with me."

"Kate's not staying in the darkness either. I'm going to tear you limb from limb until you have nothing left to stand on."

"I don't doubt that you'll try, but please know that Kate is expendable. If you wish to threaten me or mine, I'll bring my returned retribution on the lovely bartender that has stolen both of our thoughts."

Jon swallowed hard, knowing Victor's type all too well. He wasn't messing around, and he would get what he wanted. It just felt like such a pussy move to give it to him. The bastard would end up victorious, but that reign would come to an end, just like Seth's before him and Billy's before Seth. Good always won.

"Still there, Jon?"

"What do you want from me?"

"I want you to turn a blind eye to us. After tonight I'll release my hold on you for the future without threat on your family or you."

"I can't pretend that you're not selling drugs in the city, Victor. I'm a cop."

"You can take another part of the city or move. I don't care how you do it, but if you dick with me or Kate in any way where our business is concerned, I will cut you down."

"That all? Just turn my head away from you ruining the kids of the city?"

Victor laughed again. "Don't play martyr to me. I know your past."

"Fuck you."

"You know that ignorance beckons you respond with that. You're a smart man. Get a new line."

"I'm hanging up." Jon paced the floor in front of his bed, anger clawing at the inside of his chest. He hated this mother fucker with every ounce of him. He would find a way to bring Victor down and free Kate and Marcus.

"One more request."

"No."

"If you want out, then you push Kate away."

"What? I'm not hurting her."

"You already have. You haven't called in four days. Who does that to someone they love but a coward? Tell her you’re done with her. I know you're mulling over the decision. Good guys always want to take a bad girl and make her behave. Kate's not a toy for you to play with, Jon. She's mine."

"No, she's not yours. She belongs to no one."

"Save the speech for someone else. Tell her tonight that you're done with her and I'll fully release you. You were close to doing it anyway. If you don't, I'll simply force you to watch me enjoy her the next time we’re together."

"She would never sleep with you."

"She already has."

Jon pulled the phone from his ear and pressed the red button to end the call. He was lying. The bastard was a chronic liar, one that would always bend the truth to ensure his objectives were met. Kate probably hadn't even seen Victor. It was Marcus who was scheduled to meet with the drug lord.

Letting out a long sigh, Jon walked to the bathroom and turned on the shower. He would get ready for the funeral and keep his thoughts on his brother where they belonged. After that he would call Kate. Maybe she would be willing to meet him before the pow-wow at Victor’s.

He would decide before then whether or not he could stomach being without her. If he could, he would let her down easy, making sure that she understood that it was for the protection of his mother that he did it.

A deep roar ripped out of him as he lifted his face to the hot, pelting water. Why couldn't he have love? Why did it get ripped from his grasp every time it came near?

First his father.

Then Adam.

Now Kate.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Kate

Sunlight streamed in from the window at the top of her apartment, the glow almost leaving the room golden. Kate remained still on her side, half-expecting Jon to be behind her. Someone had been with her the night before, but she couldn't remember much about it. Victor giving her the drug was ever present, but he left. She remembered locking the door behind him. Her body ached from a long night of fucking, but for some reason she didn't feel concerned about it. Someone had been loving with her and had taken care of her need.

Victor and his damn drug. Never again would she allow him to lord over her. She rolled onto her back as tears burned her eyes. She wished that claim could be true, but it wouldn't - it couldn't. No one was behind her in the bed. She reached out and brushed her fingers along the sheet, the warmth of someone having just left a reminder that she wasn't making up the feelings that wrapped around her. It had to be Jon. Marcus wouldn't have stayed the night. He would have stolen her heart a long time ago if he had.

Kate sat up, moving to let her legs dangle from the edge of the bed. Someone had made love to her and she only knew two men who had the ability to get into her apartment. "Well, three now. Two men and a monster."

After a quick shower, she was on her way to the large Baptist church that Jon's family was holding Adam's funeral at. There was no way she was willing to put herself out there by asking if he had been with her the night before. She was just going to have to play it by ear. Either he would welcome her with open arms and she would know, or he would continue to give her the cold shoulder as he had for the last few days.

He was struggling with everything and deserved space. She understood. He had to know that she wouldn't have chosen this life for herself or him in a million years. The stark reality of the situation was that Victor held control right now. It was his game and he was playing it well. Kate was going to have to figure out how to toughen up again, how to become street smart. Marcus was going to be the man to help her. It had been a few too many years, and being bad just didn't sit naturally on her anymore.

She climbed out of the car and walked to the large church as others moved toward it as well. She wasn't sure of the friends and family Adam had remaining, but assumed most of the attendees were friends of his mother. Everyone most likely came because of her. Jon stood at the door, holding the door open as Kate approached.

He looked incredible in his charcoal suit, his goatee framing his handsome face perfectly. He glanced up and Kate worked not to flinch. Dark circles sat under his eyes. His lips pursed into a line and she knew without a doubt that it wasn't him who had made love to her in her drug haze.

Marcus.

Something about realizing that her best friend had once again stepped in left her grateful and yet heartbroken. There would never be anyone who truly loved her like Marcus did. Why were they just friends?

"Kate. Thanks for coming." Jon moved toward her, a sad smile lifting his lips. The expression didn't reach his eyes and she knew he was holding back. He was completely withdrawn from her and it was all her fault. If she had been better or different when she was younger she wouldn't have brought death to Adam's door or retribution to Jon's. He was a good man. He didn't deserve anything that had happened to him.

"Of course. Adam was a good friend to me." She nodded and turned to walk into the church, half-expecting Jon to stop her. He didn't. Tears filled her eyes, which was more than appropriate for the moment. She slid in the back pew of the church next to an older couple. The room was packed with people of every age. Some of the younger teenagers had to be friends of Adam’s. Kate smiled through her tears at the thought of what life might have looked like if things had turned out different for her young friend.

Jon moved past her, holding the hand of an elderly woman, probably his mother.

Kate sunk down into the pew and focused on the promises the preacher spoke of. If only there was another life after this one. Something about the promise made her want to get there faster, but she was most certainly headed in that direction now. Living the life that Marcus and Victor lived usually increased the risk of early death significantly.

Sadness washed over her as the pastor continued, her own morbid thoughts stinging her. Memory of the night before rolled over her as she closed her eyes. It had been Marcus. She could almost see his expression as she whispered words she never would have asked him in a million years.

"Do you love me?"

"With all of my heart."

Kate let a few more tears fall as her heart ached deep inside her chest. The older woman beside her handed her a tissue. Nodding her gratitude, she lifted it to her eyes and let a few more tears fall. Jon was supposed to be there for her the night Victor's hitman came, but he wasn't. He was supposed to be there for her when Victor came calling, but he wasn't. It should have been him making love to her last night, but it wasn't.

Each and every time it was Marcus. What did that mean in the scope of things?

She glanced up as Jon walked up to the podium and looked out across the crowd. They hadn't even known each other long enough for her to experience the pain of loss that rolled across her. It should matter more to her that Adam was dead and would never be given the chance at a redeemed life, but it didn't. Jon mattered. The promise and hope he brought into her world, if for only a moment, was nothing more than a lie.

It would have been better to never dream again or want for love again. Now the door was opened inside of her and she didn't know how to close it. There was no way she was going to turn into a needy bitch that would reach for anyone who simply promised to make her feel wanted and important.

She would simply tell Marcus that she didn't know what he was talking about if he brought up the night before. She couldn't face his confession. She had wanted it for so long, but had given up hope completely. Her thoughts belonged to Jon and soon those would be tucked away too. It would continue the process of hardening her until nothing mattered. That was the way of the streets. You gave and gave until there was nothing left of you but hate and vengeance. It was Marcus's story and Adam's as well. It belonged to her and most likely Victor, but not Jon.

He was fighting for his life and she was nothing more than a weight that would pull him to the bottom of the murky water, squeezing the goodness out of him and tainting him forever. She silenced her thoughts as his gaze landed on her.

"From my mother and me, thank you for coming. We appreciate your show of support. My brother was a troubled soul, a good man with a burden too great to bear. We lost our dad when we were younger and Adam seemed to take the hit the hardest. Through decisions he made to aid in his denial of that pain, we lost him to drugs and the street. When I got the call a few weeks ago that he had been murdered in the streets..."

Jon paused and lifted his hand to his face as his facade tore in half. Tears filled his eyes and regret seemed to cling to him like an ugly old coat. Kate pressed the napkin to her mouth as her own tears dripped down her face. She hated that he had suffered. He was built to infuse good into the world and between her and Adam, they had broken some part of him.

She stood and slipped out of the church, not able to watch anymore. Letting out a soft sob, she walked toward the burial plot. The family had wanted to do the burial first and then have a short celebration service. Kate had intentionally not come to the first half of the ceremony. Jon needed peace to watch Adam lowered into the ground. Her being there would have been the opposite of that.

Pausing by the stone, Kate knelt next to it and ran her fingers over the flowers.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't save you old friend." She brushed her hand over the tombstone and closed her eyes. "Forgive me for dragging Jon into this. I know you had your differences, but you loved him and he loved you, Adam. Forgive me. I'm letting him go. He's going to have the life you and I always wanted."

She laughed in the midst of her tears, thinking back on the quirky smile Jon's younger brother would give her when they were talking about getting clean and making something of themselves. She would lift her eyebrow at him and he would laugh, lifting the joint to his lips and saying the same two words each time.

"Another day."

Too bad there were no days left.