Disenchanted (9 page)

I gripped the wheel. "I
don't want to go to jail. But do you have to be so
vicious
? And threatening his family?"

"Threatening the family's
more effective than threatening people personally."

"Are there any other crimes
you want me to commit or are we done for the night?"

He purred. "We're done. This
has been great. I never get to do any fun stuff."

"Fun isn't the word I'd use
to describe tonight."

"You only see the bad in
everything. You really should see someone about your gloom cookie
attitude."

I glared at him. I never thought
I'd be pleased to see my house. I pulled into the driveway and killed the
engine. I rested my head back and sighed. Mephistopheles put his paws on the
door until I took the hint and got out. He leapt out after me and led the way
to the house. He entered the kitchen and sat at the table.

"
Yo
!
Slave! I'm hungry!"

I slouched into the kitchen and
squeezed out half a pouch. He sniffed it, took a tentative bite then ate the food
I'd put out earlier. I shook my head then made myself a drink and went to bed.
A few minutes later, Mephistopheles jumped up and paraded up and down the bed
before settling on my pillow, his tail draped over my face.

An hour later, a claw poked my
face. I batted it away and went back to sleep. Something bit my toes. I sat
bolt upright and saw Mephistopheles with his front legs under my duvet.

"I need a wee."

"The window's open."

"But I'm hungry."

I growled, got out of bed and
followed him downstairs. He stood by the back door and waited for me to open
it.

"Thought you were
hungry."

"I'm bursting."

"The window's open."

"I'm descended from gods -
I'm not jumping out the window like a lowlife cat burglar." He strutted
out, his tail waving.

I slammed the door and went back
to bed.

***

Two days later, there was a knock
at the door. I stumbled downstairs wearing only my trunks.

"I'll handle this,"
Mephistopheles said, weaving between my legs and tripping me. I slid down the
last three steps. Mephistopheles purred.

I opened the door to find two
officers on the doorstep.

"Aidan Trent?" One of
them asked.

"Yes."

"I'm DS Rochester, this is
DC Bolton. We'd like to talk to you about your brothers."

I numbly stood aside while they
entered and went into the living room. Mephistopheles sat in the tall backed
computer chair, glaring at them. One of the officers headed for the chair.

"That's Mephistopheles'
chair," I told him. "He won't be happy if you sit on him."

"Who's Mephistopheles?"

"My cat."

He looked at the chair
quizzically then sat somewhere else.

"There's no way I want to be
squished beneath that arse," Mephistopheles snorted as I sat on the floor
in front of him. "I'd look like road kill."

"Is that your brother
Pierre's car, in the drive?" Rochester asked.

"Yeah."

"His colleagues contacted us
when he didn't return to work after his lunch break two days ago."

"He's on holiday,"
Mephistopheles said. "Smarming his way around the camp site."

"Your older brother, Rob, is
he around?"

"They went together," I
replied.

"You didn't go with
them?"

"I don't like camping."

"He just decided to leave
for holiday on his lunch break?"

"I rarely see Pierre, I
don't know his holiday plans."

"Your father's just died, is
that right?" I nodded. "Rob got the house, Pierre got the car, what
did you get?"

"Screwed."

"Oh yeah, that just screams
'innocence'," Mephistopheles muttered.

"
Ssh
,"
I hissed. "I thought you were handling this."

The officers exchanged glances.

"I would if I could get a
word in edgeways. Your mouth's chattering away like clockwork teeth. I bet you
a fiver you wind up in a cell tonight."

"I noticed your carpets are
missing," Rochester said.

"I'm redecorating. I hated
those carpets."

"Do you mind coming down to
the station with us?" Bolton asked.

"That bet was
shortlived
." Mephistopheles smirked.

"What for?" I asked.
"My brothers are camping in woods somewhere." Mephistopheles roared
with laughter. I shushed him.

"Two days ago, an officer
stopped a car for speeding through country lanes about ten miles from here.
When he asked the driver to leave his vehicle, he was attacked and left
handcuffed on the side of the road. His description of the driver matches you.
The camera was stolen from the squad car. We ran the plate he gave us - it was
Pierre's car. Then we discovered Pierre's been missing for two days. Were you
driving his car at the time of the incident?"

"I'm not allowed to drive
his precious car."

"Then why is it here?"

"Free parking."

"A couple of miles from the
incident with the police, a security guard reported a fire in an abandoned
factory. There were traces of carpet at the scene. He said he was threatened by
an intruder, who remarkably, also matches your description."

"I have one of those
faces."

"Ah bollocks."
Mephistopheles slapped me on the back. "I knew you'd be my downfall."

"
Your
downfall? I wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for
you."

"Oh I'm sorry, let me remove
my gun from your head, it's left a terrible dent in your hairline." He
moved his paw back then smacked me on the head with his claws out.

"
Ow
!
Stop
doing
that!"

"Is there a problem,
Mr.
Trent?" Rochester asked.

"My cat just slapped me.
It's nothing."

Again, they shared a glance.

"We're reopening the
investigation into your father's death."

"The coroner ruled it as
accidental."

"He fell down the stairs.
You were the only one in the house."

"If I'd wanted to kill him,
why would I phone for an ambulance? Like you said, I got nothing in the will.
Rob benefited the most."

"We'll clear this up at the
station."

I rubbed my head as I got dressed
and followed the officers out. Mephistopheles jumped in the back of the car
before they shut the doors. He sat up tall and proud, insisting they put the
siren on but they ignored him. Dread rose to choke me when we neared the police
station. I knew the moment I stepped through those doors, my life was over.

***

I sat on the hard bed in the
small grey room in Castle View. There was a bedside cabinet but the rest of the
room was barren.

"Medicine time." The
nurse smiled, entering the room and handing me a plastic cup with tablets in
and a cup of water. I downed both then poked my tongue out. She checked my
mouth and left.

I waited until I heard her
trolley stop at the next room then I hurried to the
ensuite
,
scooped the tablets out from under my tongue and flushed them down the toilet.
Two porters entered, one to change my bed, the other to make sure I didn't kill
the first one.

As they were leaving, I heard
them whispering to each other.

"He's the guy that claimed a
talking cat coerced him into killing people."

"Jesus didn't get the blame
for this one then?" The other one answered.

"Apparently the cat's a
criminal genius. He had a whole pickpocket scam going which escalated into
murder. CCTV caught Trent stealing a pirate hat and boots from a pet shop for
him."

I glared at their departing
backs. They locked the door, their footsteps clumping down the corridor.

"See what happens when you
insist on talking for yourself, dude?" Mephistopheles grunted, wriggling
out from under the bed. He scanned the room, his tail flicking. "What a
come down. I'm not staying here."

"Thanks to you, I'm locked
in the nuthouse for the next god knows how many years." I flopped onto the
bed.

"I
warned
you not to implicate me." He jumped onto my stomach and
started kneading it. "Better here than prison. This place is easier to
escape from. Wow, your organs are dangerously close to the surface."

"Last time I listened to
you, I went on a crime and killing spree and wound up in this wonderful
establishment for the criminally insane."

"If you'd listened properly,
you wouldn't have been caught. You can't blame me for your failings, sunshine.
Don't worry, I've got a plan. First, we escape. Then, I'm going to make you
rich. All I need are my pirate hat and boots…"

Disenchanted

In the mountain's cavernous
heart, goblins swarmed. Flames flickered in the claustrophobic corridors, eerie
shadows writhing with pleasure along the rough walls. Inga, the Goblin Master
watched the final touches being added to the magic mirror. He rubbed his scaly
hands and cackled. It sounded like he was choking on marbles.

"Take it to the
angels," he called down. "Once they see their hideous reflections,
they'll fall to their knees in despair and we can reclaim the kingdom they
stole from us."

The goblins cheered and stamped
their warty webbed feet, their overgrown talons clicking on the stone floor.

"Once the angels have
fallen, we'll put the mirror in the town centre and tell the people it's
magical. They'll be so desperate to gaze into it, they'll also fall prey to its
evil power. Let them see themselves how they see us. For too long we've been
despised, shunned and persecuted because our ideal of beauty won't win
modelling contracts."

The goblins laughed as they
carried the mirror through the gloomy passages. The path was flanked by jagged
jet walls, with stalactites poised above their heads like guillotine blades.

They emerged into the snow and
flew up to the Kingdom of the Angels. As they got closer, the mirror became
weighed down by icicles that formed on its black frame. Their aching arms were
nearly wrenched from their sockets. The mirror slipped from their calloused
fingers and plummeted.

The goblins flew after it, but
the mirror struck the highest peak in Goblin's Pass, its body breaking on
impact. The shards were captured by the bitter wind and rained down on the
land, sparkling like a million fireflies when the sunlight captured them in its
fierce glare. The goblins returned to the mountain.

"The mirror fell and
shattered," one goblin told Inga.

"Once those shards enter a
human heart, it'll turn to ice. We'll rule them because nobody will care enough
to stop us."

***

Ythan
raised his sword and charged at
Syra
. She spun out of
the way, struck his sword, and watched it sail out of his hand. She swept his
legs away and pressed her sword tip to his throat.

"Surrender or I'll put a
postage slot in your throat."

He
scissored
his legs, trapped hers and brought her down hard.

"Damn your long spider
legs." She wriggled free. "You nearly broke my arse."

"It's so padded it's like
landing on a bed of straw." He smiled, his purple eyes twinkling.

"At least I wasn't the
inspiration behind Jack
Skellington
."

"True. You'd never inspire
an amazing, successful character." She rammed her sword's haft into his
ribs. "
Ow
!"

"I could stretch you across
Lethe and use you as a tightrope to cross to the other side." She spread
her arms, balancing on his legs up to his hips.

"Your arse's so round if it
caught fire, the angels could fly you into the sky and use you as a second
sun." He rose to his knees behind her. "I worship ye oh Sun
Goddess!"

She flicked his ears and poked
her tongue out. "Oh good. Your fan club's here. Surprised they haven't
choreographed a tumbling routine that spells your name in fireworks."

Ythan
glanced at the three girls watching from the
sidelines
.
They looked quickly away and giggled, covering their mouths. He groaned then
grabbed
Syra's
sword and held it to his heart.
"Have mercy."

"I can't kill you. Not when
they've gone to all that effort to wear as little clothing as possible. Wonder
what frostbite of the boobs feels like. If they did this," she shimmied
her shoulders, "would ice cubes float inside them?"

He laughed. "They can't help
being clones of Queen
Tyrannos
. She's in every
magazine as the epitome of beauty. 'Vicious whore' is this season's hottest
look."

"If they ever got in a
fight, one duck and their boobs would fly free, hitting them in the face."
She imitated the action, stumbling backwards. "If they threw a kick in
those skirts, the whole of
Demetar
would see their
pearly gates."

"That's why
you'll
never grace magazine
covers."

"I don't
want
to grace magazine covers. It'd ruin
my prospects of becoming an assassin if we fail graduation. Smile, work your
cheekbones, flash a bit of bicep."

"Stop pimping out my
biceps." He crossed his arms over his black PVC sleeveless top.

Syra
hauled
Ythan
up, dropped onto her back and tossed him
over her head. His black cloak swirled around him. He rolled onto his feet,
snatched up his sword and ran towards her. He planted his sword in the ground
and swung around, flattening her with a two footed kick. His fan club cheered.

"One all."

"I let you do that so your
ego could recover from its fatal injury."
Syra
spat dirt then jumped up.

"You dropped
something." He squinted. "Is that your pride?" She laughed and
threw a handful of dirt at him. He dropped to his knees, spreading his arms.
"There can be only one!" He juddered.

"You know that doesn't
actually
take away my power."

He collapsed, his foot twitching.
She kicked it.

"
Ow
!
Something just pricked my eye."

"Tears from losing. Use your
bonnet to dry your girly sobs."

He rolled onto his knees. "I
feel really weird."

"You
are
really weird. That's why we're friends." He gasped,
clutching his chest. She laughed. "Get up."

His face contorted and he
collapsed, holding his chest and eye.

She knelt beside him and battered
his hand from his eye. "There's nothing there you pussy."

He hit her hand away, grabbed his
sword and strode off.

"Where are you going?"

"To practise with someone
who knows how to fight."

"I'm the best fighter
here!"

"Maybe I
wanna
spend time with a girl who actually acts like a girl instead of like a man in
drag."

"A giggly damsel who loses
the ability to do anything for herself the minute a man's around. 'I can't
possibly lift this cup, I might break a nail'." She watched him walk away,
feeling stung. "Screw you!" His fan club trailed him, nudging each
other.

Ythan
crunched through the snow, his footprints betraying his path. He pulled his
hood up against the relentless blizzard. Galloping hooves thundered towards
him. He turned, but everything was concealed beneath winter's shroud. Wind
tugged his PVC trousers, slipping its frigid arms under his cloak.

Hooves.

He stopped. Blinding whiteness
stared back. He shivered, cold spreading through his body like the plague.

He started walking, his legs
heavy. Hooves stalked him. Sharp pain blossomed through his skull and he hit
the ground. The last thing he saw was crimson crystals forming in the snow.

***

Syra
paced the castle. The sky had swapped its white cloak for a black one and
adorned it with thousands of jewels, topped with a glowing brooch.

"Have you seen
Ythan
?" She stopped two Warriors.

"He left the grounds,"
one replied.

Syra
cursed. Leaving the grounds could be considered desertion. Deserters were
hunted down and executed.

"It's freezing," the
second one said. "If he hasn't found shelter, he's probably dead."

She shoved him against the wall,
her dagger kissing his throat. "One more word and I'll cut out your tongue
and use it to clean my sword. Got it?"

He nodded. She released him and
the Warriors walked off, muttering 'psycho bitch' loud enough for her to hear.

She pulled on her warmest cloak
and boots and headed for the battlements. She toured the castle, but only saw
the unrelenting whiteness of snow melting into the blackness of the night.

She hurried inside to her
chambers. Grabbing a bag, she packed it with food and extra weapons then ran to
the door. A guard patrolled the corridor, his chain mail jingling with each
clumping step. She closed her door and crossed to the window. As soon as the
guard below rounded the corner, she climbed out. Finding hand and foot holds,
she edged down. She jumped, pausing to see if the sound brought guards running.
Nobody came. When she returned, she'd reprimand them for their lax security.

She adjusted her bag and ran for
the woods, her footsteps painfully loud. She'd either attract the guards or the
night creatures.

She wasn't sure which was worse.

She ducked low slung branches,
wincing when an icy branch slapped her in the face. She didn't stop running
until she reached a lake. It stretched through the woods, inviting people to
bathe in its pearlescent beauty then punishing them when they accepted.

She removed a drawstring purse
from her bag and tipped out a silver coin.

"Lethe, is
Ythan
dead?" She flicked the coin into the lake. It
shimmered and brightened as it swallowed the coin before darkening like the
devil's deepest pit. Water surged upwards, propelling the coin back to
Syra
. She caught it. A cold burn spread through her
fingers, her veins glowing silver beneath her pale skin. She stared at her
reflection, momentarily forgetting why she was there. She flung the coin,
watching it skip along the water before plunging into the depths. Lethe glowed,
blinding her.

"Is he dead?"

A ghostly sigh rippled through
the water.

"No," it hissed.
"But he lives in body only."

"He's a Revenant?" She
drew her bow, whirling around to scan the woods for the reanimated corpses that
were rumoured to haunt them. She fumbled another coin out and flung it into
Lethe's blackened heart.

"Is he a Revenant?!"

"Only his soul rots."

Deranged groans caressed her
ears. She raised her bow. A Revenant stumbled out of the forest. Her heart
thundering inside her chest, she waited then released the arrow. It wedged in
the Revenant's eye and he dropped. She warily approached him then wrenched the
arrow out. Rancid gunk seeped from his eye socket.

She tiptoed through the woods,
unsure if the moan she heard was the lamenting wind or the groans of the
resurrected dead.

Branches snapped. She pivoted,
her arrow poised for flight. This is what she'd spent the last thirteen years
training for. Two Revenants lurched forwards. Her arrow shot past one and fell
harmlessly to the ground. Cursing, she unsheathed her sword. They lumbered
towards her, their opaque eyes hungry for her flesh. One grabbed her cloak,
tugging it and grunting. She swung her sword, beheading them simultaneously.
She was amazed how far their heads rolled. When they decapitated straw dummies,
their heads didn't even bounce.

She stepped over their fallen
bodies and retrieved her arrow. A female Revenant grabbed her from behind, her
rotting fingers fumbling over
Syra's
body as she
tried digging her jagged nails in.
Syra
drove her
foot backwards into the Revenant's knee, hearing it snap. The Revenant
shrieked.
Syra
elbowed her in the face, grimacing as
gunk clung to her skin. She turned, slashing the Revenant's throat. Black gunge
seeped from the wound before the Revenant slumped into the snow. Another
Revenant staggered out from behind a tree.
Syra
ran,
grabbed a branch and swung, kicking the Revenant in the face. As he fell, she
dropped and severed his head. She scanned the ominous trees then pulled her
cloak around her and melted into the shadows.

***

Rocks ripped
Ythan's
skin, flaying it from his body and offering his blood as a sacrifice to the
hungry ground. His muffled cries were smothered by the horse's pounding hooves
as it tore along the uneven terrain, dragging
Ythan
.
The sky bounced and spun, the landscape gyrating in a way that wasn't healthy.

The horse slowed to a trot then
stopped.
Ythan
rolled into its back hooves, earning a
kick in the ribs. His shredded skin burned, raw with suffering. He saw a flash
of purple then the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen crouched beside him. She
stroked his face, her white hair tumbling over her shoulders and covering her
breasts, which peeked over her tight violet dress. He winced as she removed his
gag.

"You survived." She
sounded much younger than she looked. "Do you know who I am?"

"My worst nightmare,"
he mumbled.

"Queen
Tyrannos
."

The most feared ruler of
Demetar
. Her ravishing beauty turned men into foolish
puppets, willing to betray those closest to them for one fatal kiss.

"You're the reason girls
have forgotten to wear clothes."

She smiled coyly, twisting her
hair around her fingers then flicking it over her shoulders and leaning forwards
so her breasts strained against her dress. He averted his gaze, worried if one
sprung free, it'd break his nose like the boxing glove jack-in-a-box. She
unfastened the ribbons on her bodice, the dress slipping from her shoulders.

"Wow, you have boobs. Just
like every other woman."

"I want you," she
whispered.

"No!" He wriggled away,
the rope gnawing his wrists. "I'm only nineteen."

"Younger men are
more...fun."

He sat up and backed into the
horse. "Everyone from the Castle of
Hykrew
will
be searching for me."

"They'll never find
you." She grabbed his hair, her lilac lips caressing his and sealing his
fate.