Disgruntled (9 page)

“Put it on my tab, and Reva?” He waited for her to slide her
eyes back to his.
“Hmmm?”
“I’m going to kiss you now.”

Reva studied Todd with trepidation. How had she talked so
easily with him about such an emotionally charged situation
and he hadn’t flared up? He accepted her thoughts as if they
were right. As if they made sense. He didn’t tell her she was
unreasonable, nor that she imagined the situation. More
importantly he didn’t tell her she was wrong. He didn’t make
her feel stupid or worthless.
“You’re listening to me,” she stated bluntly as he came
closer. The look of surprise on his face interested her.
“Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“Yes, but I didn’t expect — You didn’t discredit what I
said.”
“Why would I do that? Those are normal feelings that any
decent boss has. Any decent person really.” He shrugged.
“Mind if we get back to where I was a second ago—you
know, the kissing part?”
“Oh, um…” Reva smiled and he lowered his head to her.
His mouth touched gentle against hers. Considering that
he’d listened and treated her kindly, it was the least she could
do.
Let
him
kiss
her.
Besides,
the first
kiss
had been
amazing. She stood still as he leaned into her and slipped a
hand to rest on her shoulder. The other slid behind her to
grip her hair. Nice. She resisted the urge to back up. Her
stomach rumbled.
“Don’t run off. I’m not going to hurt you.”
She let the tenseness in her neck slip away, her shoulders
loosened. When he moved tighter against her, it felt natural.
Okay,
maybe
there
was
nothing
wrong
with
giving
in.
Admittedly, she found him attractive. Very. And if this kiss
was
any
indication
of
his
other
talents,
she
had
the
impression he’d be quite good at whatever he decided.
“Relax,” he said against her lips. “It’s just a kiss.”
She groaned and lifted a hand to surround the one he’d
placed on her cheek. “Is it?”
“You tell me.”
He drew back and slid hands down to lightly clasp her
fingers. One step back for distance and she felt better. It
bothered her that her body wanted to step into him, even
knowing that it might be disappointed—as she had been
disappointed so many times before with Nick. The intimacy
had always been short-lived and often, if withheld, masked a
darker feeling. Did she really want that? Was that why this
felt hard to resist? She wanted him to be angry or harsh?
Surely, she had not become that warped?
She shrugged. “I should go. I still have work to do.”
A vehicle backfired one street over. Her street. It startled
them both. “I’ll walk with you.”
“No. I’m not…going to sleep with you.”
“Just to the corner.” He smiled. “It’s dark and I’d feel better
if I knew you made it back okay.”
That was nice. “All right. To the corner.”
Todd released one hand, retained his grip on the other, and
grabbed her baseball gear as they left. Equally nice. She
didn’t tug away. When they reached the end of his street and
turned toward the corner, he spoke. “Why’d you kiss me the
other night?”
“I don’t know. I was mad. They were interfering. You were
aggravated—with me or them. I wasn’t sure. I was just tired
I guess. I’m sorry.”
“No. Don’t be. That’s not what I meant. It’s just – it was
different then. I suppose that was the real you. Challenging
and aggressive. This, tonight, seemed different.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Jesus, stop apologizing Reva. I’m not angry or disappointed
or anything else. But I can tell when someone is holding
back. I’ve done enough of it to know that much.”
“I’m sure you have. I’m—”
He tugged her hand. “Don’t you dare say you’re sorry again.
Look, not every guy gets mad when a girl expresses her
opinion. I like it that you told me what you did. I understand
it. Can I say that I’ve felt exactly the same? I don’t know. I’m
not you, so while I think I get what’s bothering you, I can’t
say for sure. But I’m definitely not him either, and it
frustrates me that you seem to be expecting that from me.”
“Expecting what?”
“That I’d lose my temper, yell, hit, or tell you something that
diminishes you. Maybe get angry with you for talking about
it. Or, hell, I don’t know.”
“I’m not very good at all this, Todd. I don’t want a guy
around all the time. I certainly don’t want a relationship.”
“Good. Neither do I. Want a guy around all the time that
is.” He grinned. “A girl maybe, I don’t know. Just so you
know, we just kissed. It wasn’t a big deal.”
Reva surveyed her yard and front porch, noting that she
hadn’t turned on the light before leaving. She hated to
fumble for the keys outside in the open. She pulled the
zipper on her bag.
“I didn’t think it was.” She knelt with him next to her and
dug for the keys. “It’s fine, Todd. I’m fine.” Keys in hand,
she stood and offered a smile. “Thanks for tonight. It was
nice. And thanks for getting my brothers to lighten up. I
think they liked you.”
“What’s not to like?” He grinned.
Agreed.
Todd bent and kissed her cheek lightly. He hesitated
then dropped to her lips and pressed another light kiss there
too. What’s not to like? Nothing. It’s a different emotion
altogether. Fear, maybe? No, I know that one all too well.
This was different, more – exciting. More dangerous.
“Good night, Reva. You’re quite a girl.”
It took several hours and numerous edits to finish her writeup of the discussion with Brent. At first, she typed word for
word and added her thoughts and reactions. Upon the
reading of it, she surmised that it had too much personal
emotion in it, and she stripped out some of the extra details.
It needed to be factual, not her supposition of his thoughts,
nor a rehash of her emotions in response to his words. She
debated
writing
an
account
of
the
conversation
she’d
overheard
between
Gavin
and
Brent
earlier.
Naw.
She
decided to stick to first party conversations only. Once it
was done, she saved the file on her laptop, double-checked
the locks on the doors, and went to sleep.
You’re quite a girl.
Was that good?
Three weeks passed, Reva fell into a routine at work, and
after. The Tuesday meetings with Brent had little relevance.
He
often
skipped.
At
fairly
regular
intervals,
he
had
wandered into her office between 4:30 and 5:00 to give a
status update. He seemed positive, and while his project
hadn’t progressed as much as hoped, it did move. Since his
effort seemed significantly improved, she decided not to
continue
documenting
each
discussion.
The
process
of
doing so had been cumbersome and unnecessary. Why
would anyone choose to be a Human Resources person?
Expecting the worse and documenting trivial things in order
to protect the organization against litigation seemed the
ultimate negativity in relationship management.
The fact that Brent had felt comfortable talking to her was a
big step. A good one. She hoped it changed his perspective
and that the animosity she heard in the discussion with
Gavin had passed. Perhaps it meant that he had accepted the
idea that her desire to help him succeed was behind her
actions, but that it was contingent on the success of the
project as well. Most importantly, she hoped it meant he
would make more progress going forward. In the past, he’d
been a very energetic employee. Somewhere in the recent
few months, he’d lost that. Gavin had mentioned a divorce.
Perhaps that was the issue.
That Saturday morning, Maria called, another routine that
had developed over the past months since her arrival.
“Hey, Sis. You doing anything—”
“Illegal? No, but if you don’t come up with a new line, I
might consider it.” Reva smiled at the handset.
“Okay. So, I’m a creature of habit. Sue me. You still seeing
Todd?”
“I’m not
seeing
anyone. Wow, you don’t waste any time do
you? Is that all you care about, my love life? Don’t bother to
ask me something about my job or maybe just about me.”
Maria had no idea about her work. Whenever Reva started
talking technical projects and project management, Maria’s
eyes glazed over.
“Face it, Reva. Your job isn’t that exciting. And you—well,
other than softball, it doesn’t sound like you have much else
to talk about.
Speaking of…how is the team working out?
Mom said she and Dad have been at the games with Tim
and Ben. She said you’re the star of the show as far as the
girls.” Did she sound envious?
“Hardly the star. I don’t think some of the other girls have
played before. They just signed up because their husbands or
boyfriends wanted them to and I’m glad they’re playing. It’s
fun. It’s also easy to look decent when it’s not competitive.”
“Come on. You know you’re a born athlete. That’s probably
what pissed Nick off so much. You were better than him at
almost everything.”
“Not everything.”
She had a point though. In the beginning, Nick seemed to
admire her talents. When they did anything at all sporty, he
feigned
appreciation.
He
had
jogged
with
her
in
the
beginning and they tried bicycle races as well. He often
complimented her on her muscle tone and strength. Then it
became another thing to criticize.
You’re starting to look like a
guy
, he had said when she hoisted a bag of groceries from the
car once.
Tone it back a little, muscles like that aren’t sexy.
Sexy? Like she cared. That goal had not been on her mind
when she jogged daily, nor when she did the strength
training exercises every other day. All that it had been was a
way to get outside of herself and think. Dwell on problems
and find solutions as well as preserve her health.
“Hello? You still there?” She jolted back to the present. “I
didn’t mean to dredge that up. Sorry.”
“It wasn’t like that,” Reva answered, but she lied. Maria’s
perception was dead on. Nick had not liked being bested. He
tended to equate winning at sports to his success as a man,
or even a person. In addition to a thousand other things.
There was very little that met his approval.
“It doesn’t matter. That’s history. Back to the present – and
Mr. Gorgeous and Fatherly. What’s up with him?”
Reva heard a car backfire and stood to glance out the
window. The same noise interrupted her thoughts on a
regular basis lately. She wondered which neighbor needed to
get some engine work done. A tan Chevy pickup with tinted
windows rolled by. Hmmm. Hadn’t seen that one before.
Must be new.
“Nothing’s up. He’s a neighbor. We play softball on the
neighborhood team together.”
“And you plant hot kisses on him in front of Ben and Tim.
Who are you trying to kid, girl? Did you think they wouldn’t
tell me? I’m happy for you.”
“Don’t get all excited and start making plans. It was a onetime thing. Well, technically a two-time thing.”
“Two times. Kissing? Or the horizontal cha-cha? Ohhhhh,
you better tell,” Maria scolded.
“I guess Mom’s not listening in now.” Horizontal Cha-cha?
What a ridiculous phrase. No way would Maria ask if they
had an eavesdropper. Reva rolled her eyes and stared at the
pickup that idled in front of the house two doors down.
Maybe it was a boyfriend of the teen that lived there. She
turned back to the kitchen and pulled the milk from the
fridge.
“Look, Mar, I can’t tell you anything because I
don’t know
anything. We kissed a couple times. He walked me back
from practice a few nights just to be nice. That’s about it. I
think we scared him.”
“We? You mean at the barbecue? Understandable. You both
scared all of us, too.”
“No. I mean that plus Tim and Ben jumping him. They
didn’t tell you
that
, did they? Oh yeah, and one of you telling
him all my baggage. Thanks for that by the way. Any chance
he might have found me normal went out the window that
very moment. Then there was getting stuck in the tree and
Ben and Tim’s continuous drinking at the games. Have they
ever considered cutting back a little?” Reva took a breath
and ticked off a few other things in her head.
“Hey, they don’t
continuous
anything. They just have fun.
Screw him if he doesn’t like it. Surely he’s not that much of a
stick in the mud? What’s this about a tree?”
“Well, let’s just say I’ve made an impression. What kind,
who the hell knows, but something.” Reva’s doorbell rang.
“Gotta go. Someone’s at the door.” She really hadn’t wanted
to discuss Todd. There had been little to talk about the past
few weeks. He spoke when they practiced. He walked her
back, but then he left. Left her wondering.
She yanked the door open and stared out. When no face
instantly appeared, she readjusted her vision downward to—
“Hey, Eric! What have you been up to?”
“Hi, Ms. Zamora.”
“Did Bugsy make an escape again? Do you need to retrieve
him? Come on.” She motioned for Eric to follow her
through to the backyard. She glanced down the street. Todd
let him walk over alone?
“No, Bugsy’s fine. Dad fixed his cage so he couldn’t get out.
He’s not very happy about it, but at least I don’t have to
worry about him getting eaten by Mr. Reardan’s dog.” Eric
pointed at the house to her immediate right.
“Good point. So, what’s up then?” Reva turned and planted
her hands on her hips.
“Nothing. Did Dad call? He told me to come over here. He
said he’d call you. He’s at work. Mom dropped me off and
left.”
“She left without checking to see if he was there?”
What kind
of mother deposits her kid on the doorstep and just vanishes?
“No, she called but when he answered, they fought and she
got in the car so I wouldn’t hear. I went up on the step and
took the key out of his hiding place and let myself in.”
Wow, this kid is too mature for his own good.
“That’s a smart thing to do.”
“Yeah. He kind of told me that if I ever needed him to just
come over and—he showed me what to do. Anyway, I got a
juice out of the fridge and when I went back outside, she
was gone.”
“Your mom, right?”
“Yeah. So I called Dad. He has the number on the front of
the fridge and I have a cell phone that he bought me just in
case. It’s got his number on it.” Reva looked at the battered
screen that he pulled from his pocket.